by C. A Ellis
“Ah nothing,” he replied in his broad Italian accent. “I’m just happy to see you so happy. I know you’re rumoured to have had a lot of women, Lucas, but seeing as though I have never seen or met any of them, I was beginning to wonder if it was all a ruse to cover up that really you—what do you English say—ah yes, bat for the other side.”
I laughed out loud at this statement. “No, Marco, I’m definitely not batting for the other side, as you put it. I’ve just never found the right woman, that’s all.”
Marco smiled and asked, “Until now?”
I nodded and revealed something as much to myself as to Marco, “Yes, until now.” I settled up and went over to the cloakroom. As Marco held my jacket up and I slipped it on, my thoughts were still circling around what I had just admitted out loud, and to someone else too. I looked up, and Lizzy was in front of me, glowing and radiant as ever, which made me smile. Honestly, I felt like I hardly ever smiled, but when I was around her, my cheeks were practically throbbing from all the grinning I did. That’s got to be good, right, for someone to have such a positive effect on me?
I held up her cardigan for her to slide on and as I did, my arm touched against her breast; the sexual electricity that rushed through me caused me to lightly moan. Thankfully, it was at the same time Lizzy let out a light gasp, so I didn’t think she heard it, but I most definitely heard her. That small gasp was like a hot wire straight down to my groin.
As I finished helping her into her cardigan, the laughter stopped and I knew a serious look of lust covered my face. How was I going to let this girl leave me tonight? I knew I’d have to, but I felt like stamping my feet like a child and saying no I don’t want to!
I put my hand on the small of her back as we stood in front of Marco. I shook his hand and then he kissed Lizzy in the over-the-top European way he does, whilst I looked away. I knew it was just a friendly goodbye gesture from Marco, but I seriously couldn’t watch another man touch her, let alone hold her face and kiss her. I kept my hand on her lower back as I guided her out to the car, where Daniel was waiting with the door open. Lizzy climbed in and I followed; as soon as we were seated and strapped in, I grabbed her hand and laced my fingers through hers. She smiled at me like it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. Little did she know it was as much for my benefit as it was for hers; in one day she’d become my comfort blanket.
As our hands rested on my lap, I was stressing. I didn’t want her to leave me that night…or ever. I rubbed her fingers lightly, and the small movement relaxed me and took the tension I was feeling away. The next thing I knew, Lizzy rested her head on my shoulder. It shocked me at first, because I felt it was such an intimate gesture for her to do, but it also relaxed me further. I turned and looked down at her, and her eyes are closed. I leaned in further and caught the wonderful scent of her hair, and then I was away in thought again, but this time, I was wondering how the rest of the evening was going to play out.
I sure as hell knew what I wanted to happen—I wanted to take her home and make wild, passionate love to her, which I just knew from all the feelings I was having would be amazing. But to be honest, I would’ve even settled for her coming to my home, going to bed with me and drifting off to sleep, our bodies entwined. I knew neither of those scenarios was going to happen, because even if Lizzy wanted them to, I wouldn’t follow it through, knowing it wouldn’t be right. So I would be taking Lizzy home to her flat and doing the right thing for a change, because this woman deserved to be treated like the lady she was, tonight and always.
I knew I was jumping the gun again, but if we ended up going the distance like I was hoping, there would be plenty of time for all the other fun stuff. I smiled at this roguish thought entering my head after all the lovely sentiment I had mentally just paid Lizzy. As we pulled up at her flat, Daniel got out and opened Lizzy’s door. Her eyes flickered open and she moved to step out of the car. My shoulder felt bare; I liked her laying her head there.
I followed her out of the car, and Daniel shut the door and went back to sit in his driver’s seat to wait for me. I’d told him after the restaurant we’d be driving back to Lizzy’s, but he would sit and wait instead of leaving. It was bad enough I had to say goodbye to her at all, so I certainly wouldn’t be rushing it. I walked Lizzy right up to her door and as we faced each other, I saw her shiver. I didn’t want her to go in, but I offered that she should after seeing that she was cold. Lizzy then offered me in for a coffee, and as much as I would’ve liked to, I knew the temptation of being alone with her would be far too much for me to handle.
She was totally unaware of it, but she was turning me on just by standing there in front of me. So I regretfully declined her offer, blaming it on her scary flatmate rather than admitting I’d be weak if left alone with her. At the mention of her flatmate, she did her amazing little giggle and leaned into me as she did it. I noticed she did this a lot, and I was hoping that it was just with me—it was too much of an intimate movement to think of her doing it to anyone one else.
“I love it when you do that,” I said.
“Do what?” she questioned innocently. I explained it to her, and also told her how intimate and trusted by her it made me feel. I also said how special and privileged it made me feel, but I wasn’t even talking about the gesture, I meant her; I was talking about how she made me feel all the time.
Then she floored me yet again when she told me that I was special and that she did trust me. I told her how happy I was to hear her say that, and I also owned up to the real reason why I’d declined her coffee invitation. If Lizzy had put her trust in me, I at least owed her the decency to be honest with her, and plus, I knew we were both on the same page about being alone together. I could tell by her eyes and body language that it was not a one-way street. Lizzy thanked me, and I knew it was loaded with more meaning than just for the date.
I leaned in to kiss her lips and she closed her eyes, but at the last minute, I changed my mind and kissed her cheek—it seemed like the right thing to do, although I was then still at her cheek debating what I should do. Should I do the gentlemanly thing, or do I kiss her how I really want to kiss her, and how I think she really wants to be kissed? That was the problem though; I thought that was what she wanted, but I didn’t know for sure.
In that instant, I was blown away as she answered my unspoken question by placing her lips against mine. I lightly kissed her back before accepting her tongue into my mouth, and then I experienced the most amazing kiss of my life. Although passionate, it was also tender and meaningful. I pulled Lizzy into me; I needed her as close to me as she could get without me being inside her, and as our kiss deepened, I was without a doubt in heaven.
After a short time, I had to pull away—believe me, I didn’t want to, but without this going any further I seriously couldn’t take another second of this amazing kiss. I was sure if the kiss lasted long enough, and with Lizzy’s lithe body pressed against me, I could’ve orgasmed right there. I pressed my forehead against hers, cupped her precious face in my hands and lightly sighed. I had to tell her what a deliciously sexy woman she was, and she looked down shyly and I could tell I had embarrassed her with my statement. I lifted her chin back up with my finger, as I figured that no one that beautiful should ever be looking down to the ground.
I invited Lizzy out to lunch the next day, and I was even honest with her, explaining my need to see her because Monday I was flying to New York for four days. Damn the New York trip, I thought to myself. I kissed Lizzy on her cheek and pulled straight away, telling her I’d pick her up at midday tomorrow. It wasn’t quite so hard leaving her, knowing I’d be seeing her the next day. As she turned to open her door, I was walking away backwards so I could take in every last bit of her, for every last second that I could see her. I bashed into the car as I reached it because I was so lost in Lizzy.
I leaned on it for support, but made it look casual by stuffing my other hand in my trouser pocket just in time as she turned around
and gave me a little wave. Absolutely adorable, I thought, and then she was gone.
When she couldn’t see me, I stumbled into the car for Daniel to take me home. I was emotionally exhausted in the nicest way possible. I sent Lizzy a quick text, despite it being pathetic; I wanted her to know that although I had left her, I was still thinking about her. As I entered my house, I was still grinning about my evening. I went straight to my room, took my clothes off and got into bed. My rush for sleep wasn’t just because I was unbelievably tired—which I was—but also because the sooner I went to sleep, the sooner it’d be morning, and then I’d be able to see Lizzy again. I, Lucas Castle, was acting like a lovesick teenager. Who’d have ever thought? Not me, that’s for sure, but in saying that, I did like the feeling immensely. Smiling with thoughts of Lizzy running through my mind, I finally drifted off to sleep.
Lizzy and I met up for lunch the next day, but this time I took her out for a wonderful picnic in St James’s Park, and the simplicity of it is just wonderful. A blanket, a wicker basket full to the brim with traditional English finger sandwiches the Ritz would be proud of, crudities with dips and fruit, all topped-off with a bottle of my finest Prosecco I’d picked up on my last trip to Italy. It was just delightful; as was the young lady I was sitting with. We laughed, we cuddled, we kissed and it was just perfect. In fact, this was how our next few weekends were—just us making the most of our time together and getting to know one another.
I was quite insistent we spend all weekend together, as I worked so much during the week and often was away—which I never used to mind, but now I hated it. I think Katy had been a bit put out at first that I was taking up all of Lizzy’s weekends, so Lizzy had made a pact that Monday through Thursday she would stay at her own flat. On Thursday, they would have a girly night out, and then Friday evening Lizzy would come and stay with me until she left for work Monday morning. I’d put up with this for now, but sooner or later I would get my way—like I always did—and Lizzy would be with me seven days a week whether I was there or not. That sounded so selfish, I thought to myself, but I was totally selfish when it came to Lizzy.
After a couple of weeks, we had gone together to see George, and this time I let Lizzy do most of the talking. She seemed to have a way with him, and always ended up having him wrapped around her little finger. He had gone along with things, I think mainly because Lizzy seemed so happy. I had only seen her happy like this, but I certainly don’t think that had been the case over the last few years. And I have to say, I felt honoured that it was because of me that she smiled so much these days.
Although Lizzy stayed at mine on weekends, I hadn’t made love to her yet. God knows I had wanted to, but I wasn’t sure if she was ready, and I certainly wasn’t going to push her into anything she was unsure of. To be honest, on a Monday after she left and Thursday nights before she’d return, I always used to palm myself and knock one out. Not something I was used to doing, I had to admit, but something that was necessary, because when we kissed and cuddled, it was extremely hot. She was extremely hot, and to top all that off, I was already completely and utterly in love with her. The icing on the cake for me was that she seemed to feel exactly the same way for me, which made me an extremely lucky bastard.
Chapter Six – Lucas
One Friday, I picked Lizzy up from work and she was really quiet, not her usual bubbly self at all. After a few general questions about her day, I finally gave up with the vague answers I was getting from her. So she was quiet, and then I was quiet, and then I started to worry. What if she’s in a mood with me? I certainly couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset her. She had gone out with Katy last night; maybe she had met someone else? No, she isn’t like that, although she might have if she’s fed up with me. My eyebrows were pulled together in worry as I went over and over the different scenarios in my head, and then I heard her little voice calling me.
It was funny, because since we’d been together, Lizzy took to calling me Luke, and it certainly didn’t bother me, as I hadn’t even noticed until Cole had pointed it out to me. Although I hated that abbreviation of my name before and would never let anyone call me it; with Lizzy, I just found it endearing, and I actually really liked the fact that she was the only person in the universe who calls me Luke.
“Luke, are you okay? You look worried; is anything the matter? Is it me? Are you fed up with me? Or bored with us? Do you…” And so she went on and on with her questions, putting herself down, thinking I was no longer interested in her. It was awful. I had never heard her like this; I knew she had issues, as we had talked about them, but I thought since we’d been together she had grown in confidence and self-belief, but obviously not. She clearly still had a lot to work on.
“Lizzy! No! Stop!” I almost shouted. She instantly looked at me with those scared, beautiful brown eyes, and I wanted to cry for her and what she had been though. “I love you.” This was the first time I had told her, although I had known from the very beginning.
“You. Love. Me?” she repeated like she couldn’t quite believe it.
“Yes, I do…very much so,” I reassured her.
She was deep in thought before she looked at me and said, “I’ve been thinking a lot today, and I had sort of come to the conclusion you were fed up with me and wasn’t really attracted to me anymore.” She then raked her sad puppy eyes over me as if searching for answers.
“Lizzy, what on earth made you think that?” I questioned, clearly puzzled. “What you’re saying is laughable; I think of you every minute of every day. I live for the moment every Friday evening when I can get you home with me and know I’ll have you until Monday. On the other days, I call, email and text you all the time, because when you’re not around my heart aches for you. So there it is—my cards are on the table. So how on earth did you misconstrue all those feelings into me not wanting you anymore?” I dragged out the last sentence like what she was thinking was preposterous.
“Well,” she started, “we’ve been together for a while now, and I know you’re known for you sexual prowess, but we kiss and we cuddle and it’s amazing, and I have all these feelings running through me, but you never take it any further. So I just thought maybe you didn’t want me like that, or I wouldn’t be good enough or experienced enough for you.”
She looked at her lap as she said all this in a quiet rush, playing with her fingers like she was embarrassed. As she finished, she looked up at me shyly and that was my undoing. I pulled the car over and grabbed her face, pulling her to me and crashing my lips to hers, thinking to myself, how on earth can she not feel the need and the throbbing desire in me? After my assault on her lips, I pulled back and looked at her, and that’s when I realised, it didn’t matter even if she did feel it. She would just turn good vibes into negative ones.
She’d already admitted to me that she had been used by a couple of young pricks when she was younger, who had just wrapped up and stuck it to her—disgusting bastards. At least they wrapped up, I supposed. Lizzy had also admitted at the time that she had never experienced an orgasm, and I remembered her smiling and saying that being a fan of old romantic movies, she used to daydream that sex would be exactly like in the movies, and then her face saddened as she told me she now believed she was being naïve to even think such a thing. I guessed those shitheads ruined that daydream for her.
So that was why I was doing the right thing, waiting for her to be ready. I just wanted it to be perfect for her, but my poor, darling Lizzy had just took it as rejection. It saddened me, and it broke my heart. “Lizzy, sweetheart,” I said, cuddling her to me, “there is nothing I want more than to make love to you, but I want it to be perfect for you…for us.” As I saw a tear roll down her cheek, I knew it was with relief that her greatest fears hadn’t been confirmed then, nor would they ever be.
As we continued our journey home, I looked at her and decided to lighten the mood a bit, “Lizzy, every time I see you, I want to rip your clothes off, and I mean every time. I have
to stop kissing you and put distance between us sometimes because I’m frightened I might literally ejaculate in my pants.”
She started giggling, and it was the best sound ever. “Well, just so you know, Luke, I am ready.” She looked at me then, so trusting, and that in itself was sexy as hell. Even with that open invitation from Lizzy, and after a lovely Friday evening of takeaway Chinese and a romantic comedy, I still cuddled her until she fell asleep. Maybe it’s me who’s not ready, I thought to myself, and then chuckled as my dick poked her even in her sleep. I’ll take that as a ‘yeah, right’ then.
I left Lizzy a note the next morning, telling her I had to go out to buy a few things. I was out for an hour or so before I rushed back; I was already missing her and didn’t want to waste any more of our weekend apart. When I got back, I heard Lizzy singing in the kitchen, and it filled me with joy that she had pulled herself out of that down-on-herself mood from yesterday, and was back to the angel I knew and loved.
I had been calling her Angel for a while, and when she asked me why and I told her it was because I believed that her not going with her mum and dad on that tragic day had been fate. The Angels knew I was out there unknowingly waiting for her to fly into my life and turn it upside down in the most wonderful and fulfilling way possible; she was an angel like them and they saved her, for me. I could see the tears glistening in her eyes, but also the joy because that’s what I thought of her and now here she was in front of me; my absolute everything; my beautiful Angel, dancing and singing around the kitchen while she made us omelettes.
When Lizzy saw me standing in the doorway, she ran over and threw her arms around me, “Luke, just so you’re aware, I love you too.” Shocked but absolutely delighted by her statement, I just grinned back at her like the proverbial Cheshire cat.