by C. A Ellis
I am waiting out of sight under a shelter outside of Lizzy’s hotel, and it’s starting to rain. I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, and I don’t care; all that matters is that I—at some point—will get to talk, laugh, cry and cuddle with my best friend again, and that thought alone clears the cobwebs from my head from my lack of sleep this morning.
I plot up, thinking I could be here for hours, but it’s less than one when I see Lizzy leave her hotel. I get ready to follow her because it’s raining heavily now, so there’s no doubt Lizzy will be in a rush to get wherever she’s going. I just hope she doesn’t jump in a taxi, but as I look at her running out of her hotel, I can see immediately all is definitely not well.
Even from my vantage point, I can see she is sobbing. My poor friend looks absolutely distraught. She runs out and down the street, and I follow her. Each turn she takes, I’m not far behind, and eventually I see her stop at a shop front. I stop on the corner and watch her fumble with keys, and I can clearly see the poor girl is in bits. Finally, she opens the door, runs in and promptly locks it behind her.
I walk farther down, nearer to the shop, and I can see now that it’s a café. I figure it’s the café from the pictures Lucas had. So okay, Lizzy works here; that’s not so bad. Lucas will be pleased; the men in the photographs are just customers from the café where Lizzy works. Innocent enough.
But why is she so upset?
I watch her lean her back against the door, and then I see her physically crumble as she slides down the glass in what looks like despair, and now I don’t know what to do. My instincts tell me to run over, bang on the door and comfort her, but I’m torn. Firstly, I know nothing of her life here, so I have no idea what has upset her so badly, and secondly, she has no idea I am here in Verona looking for her, and I really don’t know if now is the best time for her to find out.
Without realising what I’m doing, I find myself moving closer to the café; my connection with Lizzy is too strong a bond to let her suffer in silence. Before I know it, I’m outside the glass door, soaking wet, looking down at my new and improved best friend, who is almost as miserable as the last time I saw her. I don’t know if she senses someone is standing behind her, but the next thing I know, we are looking into each other’s eyes.
Chapter Twenty-nine – Lizzy
I pull myself up off of the floor and turn so we are face-to-face with just a sheet of glass between us. I turn the key in the lock, turn my back and walk away; I can’t look at her right now. I lean against the counter, still with my back to her, but I hear the door open, close and then I hear the key turn in the lock once again.
I want to say something; I am so angry, but I also despise confrontation, so whatever is on the tip of my tongue waits there. The silence is deafening, and I’m sure Katy is wondering what is going on and why I am not running into her arms; grateful she has come to find me. I wince to myself; I want to so much, but she’s betrayed me. My best friend, who was like my sister, comforted Luke—which is what I would have expected of her if he came out of his coma without me being around—but the picture I saw showed her taking it to a whole new level. She knows how much I love him; she should have never gone there. I know Katy is a sexual person, but get a fucking grip and know when to say no. Then I hear her.
“Lizzy,” she half-calls and half-questions me as to what is going on. My body tightens, and I wish I was stronger, but I start to weep; my shoulders hunch and start to heave.
“Lizzy,” Katy says again, with concern in her voice this time. “I came to find you. I had to find you; I need you in my life.”
Silence.
“Lizzy, speak to me, or at least look at me. What’s happened?”
I want to look at her because I love her so much, but I don’t want to look at her because she’s hurt me, and I thought she never would. “For goodness sake, Lizzy, look at me!” I can hear she’s getting frustrated now. I turn slowly, but I look down; I still can’t look her in the eyes. I can hear her feet padding over to me, and still I look down. I can see the bottom of her jeans and Converse—her relax-day staples.
Slowly, I look up, and we are now face-to-face. I love her. I hate her. “I know he’s alive,” I whisper.
Katy nods, pauses and then speaks. “It’s ironic; he awoke from his coma the day you left. He and I both know it was you speaking to him that brought him around—he loves you that much. You saved his life.” I can hear the smile in her voice at these things—these things I know could be true, but are now tainted by her having feelings for my beautiful man, my Luke, my one true love. And to make matters worse, Katy knew how hard it was for me to trust someone, but I trusted him, and I trusted her implicitly.
“How could you?” I try to say it hard and with meaning, but it comes out weak.
“What do you mean, Lizzy? I’m confused.”
“I know I wasn’t there when he woke up, and I’m the one who’s got to live with that. I also know that as my best friend, I would have expected you to look after him because I wasn’t around. I know he is a gorgeous, hot-blooded male, but I expected you to have some control and keep your hands to yourself when it came to my man, my Luke, the love of my fucking life, Katy.”
I hear her gasp and say, “Lizzy, don’t; do not even say those sorts of things. Yes, I have helped Lucas out—of course I have—but that’s all it’s ever been. I helped him to recover so he could find you—so we could find you.” I finally have the strength to look her in the eye, and when I do, all I can see is truth, and love. I have been holding myself rigid, and I feel myself slowly relax.
“Lizzy! Why on earth would you think such horrible things? And how dare you think I would ever comfort him in any other way than as a friend. It’s inexcusable for you to say such a thing. And how do you know Lucas is alive anyway? Have you seen him?”
Questions, questions, questions—it’s doing my head in, and I don’t know what to think anymore. “I saw pictures” is my only comment, as if that will settle Katy’s thirst for answers.
“What?” she asks. “Pictures from whom? Pictures of what?” She keeps on with her questions, and I can tell she’s getting annoyed now, but I can’t deal with this.
“Katy, can you please leave?”
“What?” Katy asks incredulously, as if she really can’t believe what I’m asking of her. All I hear though is another question, and I finally lose it.
“What is so bloody hard to understand? I want you to leave, now!” I shout. “I need to get ready for work, and I can’t do that standing here listening to your barrage of questions that are just not helping; in fact, they are just making things worse.”
“Lizzy, what has happened to you?”
“Jesus, Katy, was that another question? Well here’s an answer—I think it’s pretty fucking obvious what’s happened to me! I have been through hell and back thinking I have lost the love of my life, only to find out, in fact, he’s fit, well and back to shagging everything that moves. I suppose I could half-understand a near-death experience could do that to a person, to him, that nearly dying could make him think he’s only got one life, so he may as well make the most of it. Why would he want to be tied down to a plain, boring old misery with too many issues—a girl who just wants prince charming, romance, marriage, children and a happily fucking ever after? All that I could honestly get if he didn’t then go and propose to another woman—a beautiful, sexy woman—who is clearly nothing like me.” My voice breaks at this last bit, because even just the thought hurts me so badly, and my last words are just a whisper as I say, “Just go.”
“No, Lizzy, I won’t just go. I’ve turned up here and you don’t even seem that surprised. You certainly don’t seem happy about it, and you’re rambling on about a load of nonsense regarding Lucas. He’s alive, Lizzy! Do you understand that, or are you suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder? I knew you’d be shocked, but I thought once that wore off you’d be ecstatic, not angry.” I am hearing what she is saying, but I
’m not digesting it, not really.
“Katy, please, I’m begging you, just go. I can’t do this right now,” I say dejectedly.
“Lizzy, I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“Katy, I need you to go before anyone comes. The owner will be here soon, and customers. Why can’t you understand I can’t do this right now?”
She must hear the anger in my voice starting to return, as she slowly starts to retreat backwards to the door. My emotions are all over the place, and I’m so conflicted. I’m asking her to leave, and now that she is, I just want to grab her and beg her not to leave me.
“I’ll go, but this is not over, Lizzy—not by a long shot. I don’t know where you are getting all this information from, but it’s just not true. I’ll meet you at your hotel later, and we’ll talk when you’ve calmed down a bit; actually, maybe when we’ve both calmed down a bit.” And with that, I see something I have never seen before—I see my best friend turn her back and walk out on me. I bite my lip, because for one, I’m trying to stop myself crying, and for two, I’m trying to stop myself from calling for her to come back.
I walk over to the door and lock it behind her, and get back to setting up the café. It is normally an easy job, but today it’s hard, because yet again, my head is all over the place. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience as I move about the café. Isabella comes in about an hour later, and we go about our day; she is as chirpy as ever, whereas I’m most certainly not. I really am trying to be, handing out fake smiles and light conversation here and there, but I’m clumsy and irritable.
After I have smashed my fourth piece of china and curse, Isabella pulls me to the side. “Ella, are you okay?” she asks, clearly concerned.
Bless her heart; any other boss would have been screaming their head off at me for my behaviour this morning, but being her typical mother-hen self, Isabella is worried for me.
I’ll have to give her an explanation, but obviously I can’t tell her the truth. “Actually, Isabella, I have got a really bad headache; it feels like the start of a migraine,” I say, rubbing my temples convincingly. “Then go home, Ella, and get some rest, and I won’t expect you in tomorrow either.”
I nod and thank her, and then she asks, “Will you be okay getting back, or would you like me to call Luca?”
“No!” I say a little too quickly. “The fresh air will do me good, as I’ve got a slight bit of nausea already. So honestly, I’ll be fine.” The last thing I need when I’m trying to get my head around everything going on is Luca fussing around me.
Quickly, I get my things. I apologise to Isabella, who promptly tells me there is no need, and I get out as fast as I can, heading straight back to the hotel. As I arrive, I see Katy sitting on the ground outside the hotel with her legs crossed. I lightly smile to myself, because from other people’s point of view, she looks like an extremely stunning beggar, but to me, she looks about five years old again. I think apart from all the Luke drama going on, the reason I’ve been so stressed this morning is because I didn’t leave things well with Katy today. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Even seeing those pictures, I know in my heart of hearts Katy would never do what I thought she did. I can’t say the words out loud; they’re still too painful. As I approach her, I know what I need to do, so I stand in front of her and hold my hand out. Katy looks up and sees me, and I see some of the sadness in her eyes disappear as she takes my hand and I pull her up. When she is standing, Katy looks at me as if she doesn’t know what to do, so I do what she’s always done for me for the past twenty-odd years—I pull her into a hug and I’m there for her.
“Fuck me, Lizzy,” I hear her say. “I can’t not have you in my life.”
“Don’t,” I say, not even wanting to think about it. “Come on, you.” I link my arm through hers, and I pull her along quickly with me into the hotel. I hope we don’t see Luca. I could do without any more explanations today; although, I don’t think he’s around at the moment, or else he would have had Katy removed from the outside of the hotel. I smile at the thought of that little tussle.
Just as we get to the lift, I have a thought and pull Katy with me to reception. “Giovanni, is that laptop still in the conference room I left playing the slideshow?” I ask.
“No, I removed it as a meeting was due in there and no one has come back to claim it yet.”
“Do you mind if I borrow it? If the owner comes back, you can just call me in my room and I’ll bring it straight down.” Although in my mind, I’m pretty sure no one is going to come back for it.
“That’s fine,” he says, and then hands it over.
“What’s that for?” Katy enquires, clearly confused as we enter the lift.
“I’m going to show you exactly how I know all the things you asked me earlier,” I state.
“Cool, because I thought you were going to do your usual little stunt and try to brush it all under the carpet.”
“I think we can both agree there is far too much shit this time to merely be able to sweep it under a carpet.” I laugh, although I really don’t feel like laughing; I feel like screaming actually, but my instinct when I’m in Katy’s company is to laugh.
“True enough,” she agrees as we head to my room. “Wow, this is nice,” Katy enthuses as we enter. I smile as I go and sit cross-legged on the bed; Katy sits beside me in exactly the same position. I fire up the laptop, but there is nothing else on it besides the pictures—weird. I find the start and run the slideshow so Katy can see everything I saw this morning. I watch her facial expressions the whole time; her eyes bulge now and again, but still she says nothing until she has seen every picture, and then she starts the slideshow again. I don’t look either time, as it’s just too painful.
Eventually, I hear Katy say through her teeth, “Bloody Saskia.”
“What?” I ask, trying to get my head straight. “Saskia, as in Luke’s old girlfriend?”
“Yes, the one and only. I met her in the hospital and hated her on sight. I knew she still had a thing for Lucas, but she seemed so together. I never for one instant thought she was off her bleeding rocker and would go to all this trouble, and I can guarantee you neither did Lucas.”
“So he’s what—gotten engaged to her unaware of what she’s like? I can’t believe that; Luke’s too astute,” I say.
“Oh, for crying out loud, Lizzy—I love you, but sometimes you really do my head in. Lucas isn’t engaged to her. Don’t you see? She’s set this all up; she has set up all these pictures. Lucas wasn’t even awake when she took the ones in the hospital; although, give her dues, she’s made them look so real. I can see visually why you believed them. But, Lizzy, really? I thought you knew Lucas better. There’s never been and never will be anyone but you.”
I nod. “I want to believe that, Katy; I really do, but after what I did to him—leaving him when he needed me most—he will never forgive me for that, and I will never forgive myself.”
“Lizzy, he’s already forgiven you, or should I say, in his eyes there’s never been anything to forgive. He understands why you did what you did, and even more so now since he’s had to live without you in his life, because he absolutely knows he can’t live without you either.”
I’m silently trying to process all this information when I see Katy smile. I look down to the laptop to see the cause of her knowing grin, and I see the picture of her and Luke. I instantly look back up to her face, confusion and hurt written in my eyes as I wait for an explanation. When she speaks, I can hear the emotion in her voice, “This picture is of a moment neither Lucas nor I will ever want to forget.” She looks at me and must see the look of misunderstanding in my eyes emerging, as she quickly goes on, “Not because of what you thought, Lucas is not mine to take. You have to understand, Lizzy—no one could take him, even if they wanted to. I’ve spent a lot of time with him of late, and you have to trust me when I say—you’re all he sees; he’s yours.”
Katy takes a deep breath and sighs. I know she de
spairs of me sometimes, but I do trust her; she’s always had my back, and has never let me down—ever. I see her smile broaden as she says, “This is the moment we knew we had found you.”
At this, I don’t hold back my tears anymore; I just let them flow. I lean over to Katy and hug her tightly to me.
“I’m so sorry. I am such a bitch to have thought such horrible things, but the shock that Luke was alive…I wasn’t thinking straight, and the pictures all looked so convincing.”
“Don’t be sorry, and Lizzy, let’s face it—you couldn’t be a bitch if you tried. It must have all been an awful shock, and that’s exactly what Saskia wanted—for you to find out about Lucas in this way and to think all these terrible things.”
I see a look of surprise pass over Katy’s face. “What is it?” I ask tentatively, worried about what I will hear next.
“That bitch! She’s done it to Lucas too.”
“Done what?” I ask, confused.
“Lucas got an email with pictures of you with different guys at work, socialising—”
I cut her off, “Oh, my God! Luke thinks I’ve moved on without him?”
“He did, but don’t worry; I talked him around. Although, that was after he’d smashed the hotel room up.”
“He did what?” I shout incredulously.
“Yep, apparently he’s got it bad for you, Miss Maynard; oh, and by the way, who the hell is the hot Italian you’ve been hanging out with?”
“That would be Luca,” I state as a matter-of-fact, still in disbelief that Luke thought I would ever move on with another man, and secondly, that he trashed his room. Luke can be hot-tempered, but he’s not violent; that’s just not him. He must have been in complete despair; that’s the only explanation.
Katy’s voice cuts into my thoughts, saying, “Well, just a heads up—Lucas hates him.”
“Oh, was he in the pictures too?”
“Yes,” Katy says slowly, “but also, Lucas and I went to Jetson’s gig last night.” My eyes widen in surprise. “I know it’s crazy, but that was where Lucas found you. He saw you and the cute Italian, and then with all the emails…he just kind of freaked. I can’t say I blame him really; that Luca guy is F-I-N-E.”