by Nicole Dykes
Lola shakes her head, placing one hand on her hip. “That kid.”
Vivienne laughs and groans. “He’s something.”
“He’s a Sterling. Good luck.”
Vivienne laughs at that. “I’m going to go put the jacket back in the closet. I don’t think it’s going to happen.”
Lola nods. “It’s really no problem.”
Vivienne leaves, and once again I'm left with Lola. I quickly grab her waist, tugging her to me. “He’s cute.”
“Too cute. And he knows it.”
I laugh. “You want me to take off my suit jacket?”
Her eyes slide down my torso and then back up to my eyes. “I’m a sucker for a man in a suit, but definitely later.”
Part of me wants to skip the dinner and get to that later part, but I know this is important. “Did Penelope show?”
Her eyes are worried, and she bites her bottom lip, looking down at the floor. “Not yet. I’m not sure she will.” Her head lifts, and she takes one of my hands in hers. “But everyone else is here, and I'm excited for you to meet them.”
Meeting the family is a big deal. I didn’t have role models growing up, but I get social norms. I know that meeting her mother and siblings is a big step, one I’ve never taken with a woman before, but I'm not nervous about that.
The only thing that has my palms sweating is the fact that one person close to her shares my DNA.
“I’m ready when you are.”
She tugs my hand, instructing me to follow her into the kitchen and dining room. I hear the laughter before we enter, and when we do, everything stops in a semi-cliché sort of moment.
An older, yet still stunning, woman is standing at the stove talking to a gentleman around her age and a young handsome man, both sitting at the kitchen bar.
“Mom, Tony, Ash,” Lola motions toward me, “this is Hayden West.” She turns to me with a warm smile. “Hayden, this is my youngest brother, Asher.”
The younger man nods his head, not cracking a smile, but grunts a “hey” to me.
Lola looks slightly annoyed, but quickly moves to the man next to him. “My stepfather, Tony.”
The older man smiles and gives a cheery “Hello.”
And then Lola turns to her mother, who has something boiling on the stove. “And this is my mom, Nora.”
The pretty woman wipes her hands on her apron and walks over to me, her eyes studying me intensely. It would be nerve-wracking if she didn’t seem so kind. Nora has a sort of bright light around her, one that instantly makes my body relax. Her hands move to my face, and my eyes widen, wondering what she’s looking for. “Hayden.”
I nod. “It’s nice to meet you.”
She smiles, not releasing me. “My God.” Her hands fall to her mouth as she shakes her head, and then she turns to Lola, letting her hands drop to her sides. “How did you guys not see it?”
Lola looks slightly embarrassed. “Mom?”
She only smiles and then looks back at me. “The first time my boys brought Penelope home, I looked into her eyes and fell instantly in love.” I swallow the thick lump in my throat as I listen to her. “She was special. I could tell even then. I saw the pain in her young eyes, but I also saw the fire. I knew she’d be part of our family.”
I’m slightly uncomfortable at her words, but Nora holds a trance-like hold over me, as if she knows things others just don’t. “I’m glad she had your family.”
“We were lucky to have her.” She turns to Lola, shaking her head from side to side again, “How long did it take you to figure out he was related to Penelope?”
Lola’s cheeks heat. “Mom,” she laughs, “they aren’t twins.”
Nora only shakes her head again with a light, easy laugh that’s not unkind. “They might as well be.”
“That’s great, Lols. You found the dude version of Penelope. Essentially fucking your best friend.” Her brother Asher takes a drink from the beer bottle in front of him. “Seems to me you might want to switch therapists or start going a few times a week.”
Nora’s eyes shift to her son with a disapproving look but a small smile on her lips. My body tenses at his tone, but Lola just laughs it off. “If I wanted to screw Penelope, I’m pretty sure I could have.”
I turn to Lola, an uncertain smile on my lips, but her brother laughs into his beer as he takes another drink. “Probably.”
“Kids,” Nora scolds, laughingly.
I lean into Lola’s ear. “Are you telling me my sister swings both ways?”
Not that I give a fuck. Lola laughs, her face turning toward mine, her voice slightly low as she speaks only to me, “No. This is just what we do. We’re completely inappropriate. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me for that.”
She’s all smiles until the kitchen door slides open, and Penelope and a man bearing a striking resemblance to Asher walk inside.
“Lincoln. Penelope. You guys came.” Nora smiles over at them, and the pair looks stiff as they stay frozen by the door.
Yeah, this isn’t awkward at all.
I stare at Penelope, so happy to see her, but so nervous about what’s about to happen, because she doesn’t look like herself.
Lincoln looks stressed as they stay by the sliding door they know they’re welcome to enter anytime. My home is their home. But neither of them move.
Mom turns the burner off and starts toward them, the only one brave enough to approach them.
“Aren’t you two coming in?”
Lincoln freezes, and I hate that he looks more like the broody side of himself than the more carefree man he’s become since he came to California.
Penelope shakes her head, her long brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. From the dark circles under her eyes, it’s apparent she hasn’t slept much lately. “No.” Her voice softens as she turns to face my mother who she regards her as her own. “I can’t, Nora.” Her focus shifts toward Hayden as my mom stays put in her spot halfway to Linc and Penelope.
Her eyes are deadly serious, a look I don’t look on my best friend as they descend over Hayden, taking in his appearance. “I’m not sure what your game plan is. I have no idea, but you are not my brother.”
Hayden stands tall, but I can see the small fracture in his demeanor. “We didn’t grow up together, but we do share the same horrible, selfish....” His eyes slowly shift to my mother, and I think he rethinks the word he intended to use before he looks back to Penelope. “Mother.”
Tony walks to my mother, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and holding her body close to him. I momentarily smile because she finally has the man she deserves. Asher watches from his barstool, both arms slung back against the granite countertop, just taking in the show.
Penelope studies him as if she can’t believe he didn’t instantly fold, but what she doesn’t know yet is Hayden doesn’t back down. “She never mentioned a brother. The woman I knew . . .” Her feet don’t move, but she leans forward slightly. “She would have thrown that in my face somehow.”
Hayden swallows tightly, his throat bobbing with the motion, and even if I'm not touching him, I can feel his tension. “She didn’t think about me when I was there, so why would she think of me after I left?”
I hate their mother. My blood boils as my eyes subconsciously drift to my own mother. She isn’t perfect by any means, but she tried so hard to make us feel loved. I look at Asher, his face showing no emotion whatsoever as he watches.
Okay, maybe after Colt died, she didn’t do the best job showing him she loved him, but extraordinary circumstances, and she’s trying now.
But Penelope and Hayden, they never had a loving mother.
“She would have used that information to try to hurt me.”
“Robin Jones didn’t give a flying fuck about me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot about me completely.”
Penelope winces at the mention of her mother’s name but quickly bounces back, her glare only hardening. “So you know her name. That’s
public record.”
Hayden nods, his body rigid. “No one called her that though.”
Penelope’s hands ball at her sides as she shakes her head from side to side. “Don’t.”
My mother tries again, slowly leaving her safe cocoon with Tony and taking another step closer to her. “Penelope, honey . . .” She stops, giving Penelope space. “I can’t imagine what this is like, and I know trust is hard for you.”
I see tears form in Penelope’s eyes as she turns to my mother. “You all are my family.” She turns back to Hayden. “He is not.”
“Well, he certainly looks just like you.” Penelope turns back to look at my mother, who isn’t backing down. My mom has definitely found her own backbone over the years.
“Because we have the same hair color?”
With an easy dismissal, my mom laughs lightly. “No. Not just because of your hair color. The shape of your faces. The cheekbones. Your eyes.”
Penelope folds her arms, not chancing a look at Hayden. “Our eyes aren’t even the same color.”
“They have the same little golden flecks and the same pain in them, Penelope.” My mom’s voice is firm.
I see Baz and Vivienne standing in the doorway, but Viv is holding onto his little shoulders, keeping him in place.
Lincoln places one arm around Penelope’s waist. “Let’s just stay for dinner.”
She pushes him away, and I hate the rejection I see in Linc’s eyes. “No.” She turns back to Hayden. “I don’t know what your game is, but I won’t be a part of it.” She looks at Linc, remorse in her eyes. “I’ll see you at home.”
Her head dips as she turns toward the door, reaching for the handle, and as she’s opening it, Hayden’s voice is all that can be heard. “Slate was a tough mom to have. And if anyone knows that, it’s me. Because she was my mother too.”
Penelope freezes, her expression full of sorrow and confusion as she looks at Hayden over her shoulder before she jerks open the door and leaves.
Well that was brutal.
I place my hand on Hayden’s back, trying to soothe the tension, but he’s rigid as he watches her leave.
Asher stands from the stool, walking over to Baz and scooping him up. “You hungry?”
Baz giggles as he dangles upside down in Asher’s arms. “Yes!”
He carries him to the table, and everyone quickly grabs food from the stove and brings it to the table. I’m surprised to see Lincoln is staying, but he moves to a chair across from Baz and Ash.
My hand rests on Hayden’s lower back, uncertain of what to say. “I’m so sorry. I thought she would at least give you a chance.”
His body turns to face me, his head tipping down as he uses his finger to lift my chin up. “I’m happy to be here with your family. I don’t do anything I don’t want to.”
I don’t completely believe him. Part of me knows he’s here for me. I keep my voice low, staring into his eyes, “We can make a break for it. Grab wine and run.”
He smiles, looking behind me at the table. “I think I'm done running.”
My chest flutters with hope, which should frighten me, but he kisses any fear away with the briefest meeting of our lips, and then he takes my hand as we make our way to the table. I sit down, and he sits between my mother, who’s at the end of the table, and me.
Tony sits at the other end, and Vivienne takes a seat next to Baz across from Hayden. Everyone fills their plates, and my mom turns to Hayden. “How did you find Penelope? If you’ve never met. How did you know to look for her?”
I don’t want him to be uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to falter. “I was looking for our mother.”
“You hate your mother, though,” Asher says as he takes the slice of turkey off his fork with his teeth, staring him down, not trusting him.
Not surprising.
“I do.” Hayden again does not flinch. He turns back to my mother. “She wasn’t a mother, but she was still my mother. I guess curiosity got the best of me.”
My mom nods. “Where you come from is important.”
Lincoln hasn’t said much, which, depending on his mood, isn’t really that odd for him. He stares at Hayden, studying him. “Why didn’t you just come and knock on our door? Tell us who you were?”
“What’s the fun in that?” Asher snorts as he takes another bite, the bitterness in his tone heartbreaking to me. I look at Baz, who’s none the wiser to all the tension at the table as he drinks his chocolate milk happily, humming a song to himself in his own little world. He reminds me so much of Asher at that age, carefree and happy until his teen years, a couple of years before all our lives changed forever.
I sometimes wonder what I could have done to keep him that carefree kid.
“Asher,” I warn, “Hayden is here as my guest not someone else for you to punish.”
His shoulders shrug. “Oh come on, Lols . . .” His head tilts to the side, and I want to kick him, but I remember I’m an adult nearing thirty. “Hayden here looks like he likes it a little rough.” He nods to Hayden’s eyes, still purple from my fist.
I cringe. My mother didn’t mention that when she was looking at his face earlier, and Asher didn’t say anything until now. For some stupid reason, I really thought it was going to slide by.
“I can take anything thrown at me.” Hayden’s eyes lock on my little brother’s. “Especially for her.” He looks at Lincoln. “My mother was awful. You being with Penelope, I'm sure she’s told you stories. Since she was in foster care, I'm certain our mother was the same with her. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know her or her to know me.”
“So, you lied,” Asher states simply.
“I did.” Hayden’s eyes turn to me.
“I’m glad you did it that way.” Everyone at the table is quiet, but I don’t care if they hear this conversation or not. “If you’d have knocked on their door and told them you were her brother, that could have been it. She may have shut you out forever, and I wouldn’t have gotten to know you.”
Asher groans and I look to him. “Who the hell are you?”
“Can you please not teach Baz any more fun words?” Vivienne speaks up, her back straight, but she isn’t looking at Asher. I don’t think she really can yet.
Asher smiles down at Baz, softening only for him. “Sorry buddy. That’s a ‘no no’ word.” Baz just goes on about his dinner, ignoring the boring adults, but then Asher’s anger comes back to me. “You’re saying you are totally fine with him lying? Getting into your pants and then revealing this huge secret after the fact?”
“Asher,” My mom sounds exhausted.
But I’m going to handle him. “He didn’t lie. He hired us for a job. One we were capable of handling. He had every right to get to know her.”
“By lying,” Linc adds.
“Are you still lying?” Asher asks, taking a drink of a beer he doesn’t need.
“No,” Hayden answers quickly and firmly. “Everything is out in the open.”
“I believe you.” I smile at him.
I smile at my mother when I hear her voice. “So do I. Not everything is black and white in this world, boys.”
“Peas are green.” We all turn to Baz, who seems to have tuned in. He looks up at Asher. “I still don’t like peas, Uncle Asher.”
I see Hayden grin and feel him relax next to me as I smile at Baz. Asher laughs, mussing his hair. “I don’t either, buddy. Not at all.”
Vivienne is still extremely tense and takes a bite of peas. I think Lincoln is trying to help when he looks at Ash. “I think we’re supposed to encourage him to eat his peas.”
Oh great. Here we go. Why the hell can’t we just have a normal dinner without these two trying to tear each other apart?
Asher’s smile seems happy, but you never know with him. It’s usually deadly. He tilts his head and looks at Linc, pretending to talk to Baz, when he’s really talking to Lincoln. “Uncle Linc loves to eat P. I bet he could all night.”
I cringe and glare at Ash as he
uses Penelope’s nickname in a crude wordplay. Linc growls, “Damn straight. Every night.”
Of course, Baz doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, just scrunching his little nose, thinking Ash is talking about the vegetable he despises. “Yuck.”
“Yuck is right,” my mother says.
I look between my brothers. “Really? Our mother is here.” I nod to Hayden and Penelope’s brother.”
“Her maybe brother,” Asher is quick to add, tipping the beer in his direction.
Hayden doesn’t take the bait, and my mother clears her throat. “Okay. Subject change.” She turns to Asher. “How long are you staying?”
Baz’s little head turns to Asher. “Always.”
Shit. Bad subject, and my mother flinches, knowing her mistake.
Asher looks down at Baz, ruffling his hair. “You know I have to go back to Kansas soon.”
Baz shakes his head, and I feel horrible. “No. You stay with me. Don’t go.”
Vivienne and Asher’s eyes meet briefly as she places a hand on his little arm. “He’ll call you, sweetie.”
Baz jerks away from his mom, folding his little arms. “It’s not the same!” He looks at Asher. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight, buddy. Okay?”
Baz is smart and knows what that means. “You don’t go ever.”
I see the heartbreak on Asher’s face, and it shatters me. “I have to.”
Baz jumps up from the table. “I’ll go with you then.”
Asher glares at Viv before his gaze softens when he looks at Baz. “You have to stay with your mom. She needs you.”
“No she doesn’t!” His little arms fly up, and I know he’s hurting. I know Asher is in pain. And so is Viv. “She has Swearer! And Grandma! And Lola!”
He’s so angry now, something I'm not used to seeing from my little nephew. A low growl comes from Asher’s throat when Sawyer is mentioned, but he’s strong for Sebastian and doesn’t say a word.
I want to fix this. “Baz,” I address him cautiously, and his little eyes meet mine, tears shining in them. “I think Uncle Asher needs your help. He told me he forgot how to swim. Do you think you could teach him?”