Doubt and uncertainty were turning her into a nervous wreck, she realized. When she first met Caleb, she had been so sure, so joyously positive that they were meant to have a relationship. She had looked at him and seen the glimmerings of a shared future, hope for a real family. But his reaction when he'd discovered the existence of the photos Ambrose had taken had changed all that. It had plunged her into this morass of confusion. Normally, she was unselfconscious about her nudity. But not with Caleb. Nothing was clear at all tonight except that the air in the glass-walled room seemed electrically charged.
On the other side of the tub Caleb slowly began to remove his shirt. His strong fingers went methodically from one button to the next. The garment parted down to his waist.
Serenity stopped cold. She was riveted by the sight of the dark, curling hair just barely visible in the shadowed area revealed by Caleb's unbuttoned shirt. She swallowed heavily.
“What's wrong?” Caleb asked.
“I'm…not sure I know where my old swimsuit is. And I don't have a man's suit for you to use.”
“I didn't think people used suits in hot tubs.”
“Ah, well, no, they don't usually. Bathing in a hot tub is a lot like bathing in a hot springs pool or a Japanese bath.”
“Fine. Then we don't need suits.” Caleb unbuckled his belt.
Serenity quickly turned her back to him. She kicked off her shoes and finished unzipping her jumpsuit. Until tonight she had never thought of hot tubbing as a sensual experience. But then, she had never climbed into a hot tub with a man who made her insides melt.
Behind her she heard Caleb step into the bubbling tub.
“This feels very good,” he said softly.
“It's quite therapeutic. A wonderful form of relaxation.” She winced. Her voice sounded too high, even to her own ears.
“I can see why you enjoy it.”
Driven by a deep compulsion that she was afraid to name, Serenity turned around very cautiously. Relief was coupled with a measure of undeniable disappointment when she saw that Caleb was safely immersed to his chest in the churning water.
But even though she couldn't see his expression in the shadows, and the darkness certainly guaranteed a high degree of modesty for both of them, it was impossible for her to ignore Caleb's brooding masculinity. Either her imagination was running wild or, as Lloyd would say, she just couldn't seem to transcend the man-woman thing tonight. On the contrary, she had never been so acutely aware of it.
Caleb stretched his arms out along the edge of the tub and relaxed in the churning water. The dim glow from the cottage windows lined his powerfully contoured shoulders, revealing the sleek, muscled strength in him. Serenity could hardly breathe. In spite of the steamy, tropical atmosphere, she couldn't stop shivering. This had definitely not been one of her better ideas.
Turning her back to the tub once more, she took a deep breath, peeled off the jumpsuit and grabbed a towel. In fact, this whole thing hadn't actually been her idea at all, she reminded herself as she secured the towel. Caleb was the one who had suggested that they get into the tub. She wondered if he was having any problem maintaining a gender-neutral attitude or if the excitement was happening only on her side.
In the damp, heated darkness Caleb waited for her. She felt his eyes on her as she walked to the edge of the tub. She knew she was moving with the kind of dainty caution a doe used to approach a waterhole. She felt ridiculous, but was unable to ignore the fact that, while Caleb was merely silhouetted by the light from the windows behind him, she was clearly revealed by the pale glow.
She dipped one toe into the water and froze. She couldn't bring herself to release the towel. She stared helplessly at Caleb's shadowed face, willing him to come to her rescue, to provide a way out of the awkward situation.
As if he could read her mind, Caleb leaned his head back against the edge of the tub and simply closed his eyes.
Serenity breathed a small sigh of relief, unwrapped the towel and slipped into the tub. She sat down quickly on the submerged bench.
Reassured by the knowledge that he couldn't see any more of her beneath the frothing water than she could of him, Serenity racked her brain for polite conversation. She grabbed the first stray thought that popped into her head.
“You handled Blade very well this morning.”
“I did, didn't I?” Caleb did not open his eyes. “Considering the fact that I was really pissed off at the time.”
Serenity tried and failed to see his expression. “Pissed off?”
“Yeah, pissed off. Can't remember the last time I felt like decking someone.”
“Oh.” Serenity did not know how to respond to that. “I appreciate the fact that you restrained yourself.”
“Think nothing of it. I appreciate your jumping in to defend me. Can't recall the last time someone did that, either.”
“Blood in the aisles would not have been good for business.”
“You have all the right instincts for a successful entrepreneur.” He turned his head slightly. There was just enough light to reveal the amused curve of his mouth. “You know, all in all, this has been a very unusual week for me.”
“Is that so?”
“A lot of firsts.”
“Firsts?”
“First time that I've ever taken on an off-the-wall consulting job like this one.”
“It's not off-the-wall,” Serenity said, instantly on the defensive.
“First time that I've ever come close to getting into a brawl with a paranoid lunatic.”
“Blade isn't a lunatic. He just functions in two different realities at the same time. It's not uncommon. Zone does that, too.”
“First time that I've ever participated in an act of breaking and entering.”
“Wait a minute.” Serenity was outraged now. “Are you talking about that business in Ambrose's basement this morning? That wasn't breaking and entering. I had a perfect right to search for those negatives.”
“First time that I've ever felt jealous of a man I'd never met.”
“Jealous?” Serenity was floored by that item on his list of firsts. “Are you talking about Lloyd?”
“Yes.”
“Why on earth would you be jealous of him?”
Caleb ignored the question. “First time that I've ever sat in a hot tub.”
“You told me that earlier,” Serenity said, disgruntled with the change of topic. Had he actually been jealous of Lloyd? she wondered. “It's no big deal. Personally, I sit around in hot tubs all the time.”
“Did you ever share your hot tub with Radburn?”
“What? Oh. No, I didn't, not that it's any of your business.”
Caleb lifted his lashes and looked at her. “I want you.”
Serenity was struck dumb. She could not think of an appropriate response. She couldn't think of any response. If only he hadn't turned on her when he'd learned about the photos. If only she could trust him. If only, if only, if only.
“Serenity?” His voice was husky with unmistakable desire.
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, swallowed a few times to clear her throat and drew a deep breath. “What about the pictures?”
“Forget the damn pictures. They don't matter.”
“Caleb, are you sure?” If only she could believe him.
“I'm sure,” Caleb said. “The day I kissed you in my office, you told me I'd be sorry for overreacting to those photos.” He held out his hand. “You were right.”
Serenity contemplated his strong fingers for a long moment. She knew that she had wanted this to happen all along. It was the real reason that she had allowed Caleb back into her life.
But it was too soon. She wasn't certain yet.
Slowly, mesmerized by the knowledge that he wanted her, she lifted her hand out of the water and put it in his.
He wrapped his fingers tightly around hers. Without a word he tugged her toward him through the churning foam. She glided, weightless, straight into his em
brace. He settled her against him and brought his mouth down on hers with a driving hunger that swamped her senses.
Serenity savored the hot, male taste of him. His arms were tight around her. She was intensely aware of the hard shape of his thigh under her bottom and the fierce length of his erection lodged against her leg.
“I was a fool to let you walk out of my office that day,” Caleb whispered against her lips. “I knew it would be like this between us.”
“Yes.” She had known it, too. She clung to him now as the urgency within her rose to new levels. She was shaken by the force of the desire she felt. The sheer power of the sensations pouring through her was new to her. It threatened to push her beyond the safe boundaries she knew she should maintain with him.
Caleb's hand moved downward, seeking the curve of her breast beneath the water. He took the soft weight of it in his palm and slid his thumb over one delicate peak. A tight, taut sensation gripped Serenity. She gasped, her head tilting back against his shoulder.
Not yet. Too soon.
Caleb lifted her buoyant body upward just far enough to expose one budding nipple. He lowered his head to it. She shuddered when she felt the edge of his teeth close lightly around her. She clenched her fingers in his hair, turned her head and nipped at his shoulder. Then she kissed his neck. She loved the feel of him under her hands, loved the sense of exultation sweeping through her. Loved the anticipation.
Loved him.
“You taste good,” Caleb muttered. “Very, very good. And I've never been so hungry in my life.”
He slid his hand down across her stomach to the place where her legs were still pressed close together. When she felt him probe deeper, Serenity slowly parted her thighs. His fingers found her, stroked her, opened her carefully and entered her.
“Caleb.”
“So tight.” Caleb's voice was raw and gritty with passion. “Tight and hot. You want me.”
“Yes.” She kissed his throat with a curious desperation that she could not explain.
He withdrew his finger slowly and then thrust it deeply back into her. The edge of his thumb moved against the throbbing little button hidden in the folds of her flesh. He repeated the caress over and over again until Serenity thought she would shatter. She twisted against him, her nails digging into his skin.
“I'm going to go out of my mind,” Caleb whispered. He withdrew his hand from between her legs, gathered Serenity against him and made to rise to his feet.
Reality returned in an anguished surge of awareness as the water cascaded off of her. “No, wait,” Serenity gasped. She clutched at him and burrowed her face into the curve of his neck. “I'm sorry, I can't. Not yet. It's too soon.”
“Too soon?”
“Don't you see? I can't be sure anymore. Everything's confused now. Please, I'm sorry. I can't explain. I just don't think this is the time.”
“The time?”
“Oh, damn, this is all my fault. I should never have gotten into this tub. I knew it. I knew it but I couldn't seem to help myself.”
Caleb said nothing. He stood waist deep in the churning water and held her clamped in his arms. The muscles in his chest were rigid. His arms and shoulders were tensed for battle or sex. Serenity half expected him to lift his head and howl his anger and frustration to the moon.
But he didn't. Instead he lowered himself slowly back down into the bubbling water and cradled her close. She could feel the enormous control he was exerting over himself. It awed her.
“Caleb, I'm so sorry.”
“Hush.” He thrust his hand heavily through her wet hair and kissed her roughly on the mouth. “I started this. I'll finish it.”
She lifted her head and searched his face, seeking desperately for some way to explain something that could not be put into words. “This just isn't the right time. Not yet. Not for me.”
“I know. You're beautiful. A little weird, but beautiful.” There was enough light to see the deeply sensual twist of his lips. He didn't look angry. “My wild, magic princess.” His hand slipped down toward her breast. He touched the griffin that hung there. Then his hand went lower, to her waist. “You make me burn.”
“Caleb…”
“I know. It's too soon for what I want,” he whispered. “But is it too soon for this?” He slipped his hand lower still and once again found the warm, wet cleft hidden between her legs.
Serenity flinched and sucked in her breath. “I don't think—”
“I just want to touch you. Can you trust me that much at least?”
“But what about you?” She felt like an idiot.
He laughed softly in the shadows. “You can touch me, too. If you want to touch me, that is.”
“I do,” she said. “Very much. But Caleb—”
“Trust me tonight.” He kissed her throat as he found her softness with his hand. “Give me that much, at least. All I'm going to do is touch you.”
“Oh, Caleb.” Her small, choked cry was cut off as he stroked her. The unbearably tight, soaring sensation that she had been experiencing a few minutes earlier roared back.
Enthralled by the novelty of the twisting tension building within her, she could only cling to him. Her eyes widened and then squeezed shut as he continued to stroke her intimately.
She knew he was watching her face in the shadows. Serenity could feel the masculine anticipation in him. He was waiting for something to happen. She was waiting also, but she didn't know quite what to expect.
Then she remembered that she was supposed to be touching him, too. She splayed her hands across his chest and slipped them downward across his flat stomach.
“No,” he said into her ear. “I've changed my mind. I won't be able to handle this if you do that.”
“But I want to touch you.”
“Not tonight.”
She moaned as he did something incredibly erotic with his hand. And then she stiffened in surprise.
“It's all right. Let it happen. Trust me.”
“I don't…I can't…Oh, my God, I'm going to, I'm really—” Disbelief and then wonder tore through her along with her first climax. Helpless in the storm, she wrapped her arms around his neck and shuddered in his arms.
“Serenity?”
She laughed and then she cried and then she collapsed against his chest in joyous release.
“I'll be damned,” Caleb said. “Don't tell me this is another first.”
A few minutes later Serenity stirred drowsily. She instinctively snuggled closer to Caleb. The water surged around her. Maybe it was the right time, after all, she thought.
She felt wonderful; very sure of herself. The confusion and qualms had all but vanished in the throes of her orgasm. It was amazing.
Yes, definitely the right time. She wondered why she hadn't seen that earlier. Things had just been confused for a while.
“Caleb?”
He caught her hand as it strayed across his chest. He held her fingers still, leaned his head back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes. “I've got a quick question, if you don't mind.”
“Umm-hmm?” She wriggled against his leg and began to nibble his earlobe.
“Is this or is this not the first time you've had an orgasm?”
“Is. Nice.”
“Very.” His smile was sexy and wicked and laced with masculine satisfaction. “Mind telling me why you haven't done it before?”
“Well, I tried. It just didn't work very well.”
“I see.” He waited.
“Three years ago there was a man. His name was Stewart. Stewart Bartlett. Stop me if you'd rather not hear all this.”
“I'm listening.”
“Stewart came to Witt's End because he needed this place.”
“Why?”
“He needed to heal. A lot of people come here for that reason. They stay for varying lengths of time. I told you, the world needs places like Witt's End.”
Caleb opened his eyes and touched her mouth with his fingers. “Was he sick
?”
“Yes. Not in his body. In his mind. He'd lost his wife and son in the crash of a small airplane. Stewart was a pilot. He had been at the controls when the plane went down. He walked away from the wreckage without a scratch. And he couldn't forgive himself.”
“So he came here to forget? And met you?”
Serenity nodded. “We were very close for a while. Two and a half years, in fact. And then one day he knew that he was going to be all right again. He realized that he could go back to the life that was waiting for him in Seattle. So he left.”
“Why didn't he take you with him?”
She smiled gently. “You don't understand. I was never meant to go with him. I always knew that. So did he. Our two and a half years together was a special time for both of us. A time of learning and healing and growing. It was a good time, but it wasn't meant to last. He was from the outside world, you see.”
“And during that whole two and a half years with him you never had an orgasm?” Caleb sounded dazed. “That's hard to believe.”
“We tried many times,” Serenity admitted. She knew she was blushing, and was thankful he couldn't see the color in her cheeks. “But Stewart had a problem.”
“A problem?”
“It was all psychological, you understand. Not physical. Caused by his guilt and sorrow, I imagine.”
“Hold on a minute here.” Caleb narrowed his eyes and studied her intently. “Are you trying to tell me that you spent two and a half years of your life with a man who couldn't get an erection?”
“Sex isn't everything in a relationship,” Serenity said severely.
“Yeah, sure, right. Two and a half years with a man who couldn't make love to you properly? Christ, that's incredible.” Caleb glowered at her. “So why didn't he do what I just did? Even an impotent man could have managed to give you some satisfaction that way.”
Serenity shrugged. “Every time we were together we were both so worried about him that I guess I couldn't relax and enjoy myself. It was no big deal.”
“That's a matter of opinion.”
She frowned. “It was my relationship and I didn't mind. I was happy.”
Hidden Talents Page 11