“Did you have sex with her after me?” I asked and his blink was slow and lasted long. My blood ran cold.
“No, I never fucked her, Mia. But I won’t lie to you; I’m still friends with her.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed as I shook my head to make it all go away.
“Friends, Mia. Not best friends, not friends with benefits. We don’t talk on the phone unless she calls and needs help, which is almost never. I’ve changed a tire for her once when she had a flat. I’ve helped find someone to fix the water heater in her apartment, and various other things men do, but it’s rare. She knows I don’t feel anything for her. I visit her at the diner a couple times a month to check on her, because she’s a good person, has a shit life and very few friends. You’re gonna like her and she’s gonna love you.”
There was no fucking way, I thought as I shook my head. I couldn’t even look at him.
His hands dove into my hair. “Now is not the right time to tell you her story, but it was bad, Baby. Not moving from foster home to foster home bad.” I froze. “Bad as in forced into prostitution by her own father bad.”
My stomach roiled. “You can’t be serious.”
“Sold into a sex ring, Mia. That was part of the case I’d been working back then. And think about this, Baby, Breena’s twenty-six, the same age you are now, so figure she was the same age you were when you left me.”
I winced. I’d only been nineteen.
“She’s a good person. You’ll like her. She’s so sweet, it’s hard not to. You might never be friends with her…though I think you will be because you’re an even better person than I am, but when you meet her, you’ll understand why I couldn’t just pretend she never existed.”
“This is too much right now,” I admitted softly and to my surprise, Adam nodded.
"I know, but you needed to know it all so you can stop thinking about the past and start thinking about how we’re going to move forward with our future. I think we both made huge mistakes, me more so than you, but both of us nonetheless. I should have come for you, and you should have trusted me enough to come back, but we're together now. You're with me and you're fuckin' staying."
I didn't know what to say. So when he asked, "Freckles, you with me?" all I could do was blink.
"Okay, I see understanding is still sinking in, so I'll add this: I will never touch another woman, and I will never make another fuckin' mistake so stupid. I won’t risk losing you again. I will screw up and say the wrong things, because that's me and I won't change, but you'll know I won't mean the bad shit I say because you're the only one who knows the real me.
“And this thing with Max, it pisses me off, and I know you're confused about it, he was there one minute and now he's not. I know you feel guilty that you haven't had a chance to tell him about me, even though he nearly got you killed because of the bullshit he's involved in, but that's just you. You wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with him if you didn't at least care about him. So, I hope to God, for your sake, that he's caught soon. If I find out he involves you deeper in his mess, I will find him, and I will kill him."
Oh my God!
"Adam --," I whispered.
“No, Mia, I will not let his shit touch you, so don’t even try to down play how serious it is,” he ordered, his tone unwavering.
I frowned, suddenly feeling uncomfortable having this conversation in my current attire - a towel. “Adam, I’m nearly naked.”
“Yeah, Baby, I know. Just how I like you.”
“You’re too much,” I whispered. “Couldn’t you have waited to lay all this out until after I took a shower and was dressed?”
“Nope. You were thinkin’ bad shit, so I needed to address it all now. And clothes aren’t body armor. They won’t protect you from me.”
“But you don’t live in my head,” I snapped. “You have no idea what I was thinking.”
He waved away my outburst and made a noise like pesh. “Oh please, you looked like you were choking on a chicken bone. I knew exactly what you were thinking about. So, we straight?”
I gaped at him. “No, we’re not straight! Can I please take a shower and we’ll talk about this when I get out and put clothes on? I still have questions and things to work through, but I admit I do feel a little better.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked, changing the subject and I snapped my mouth shut. He raised his eyebrows. “Mia, do you trust me?” he repeated the question.
“I don’t know,” I answered softly and with honesty. “I'll work on it. I believe that you didn't cheat intentionally, if that’s what you really want to know, but you make it sound so easy to forgive and forget. I can’t just forget something like what happened. And now I find out you’re friends with Breena, and as sad as her story sounds, it’s still a lot to take in after thinking differently for so long. And the miscarriage…you didn’t bring that up, but I still think about it a lot. Trusting you is going to take time.”
By the frustration in his eyes, I knew he didn’t like my answer. “Fine. Time. You want more of it, you got it, but you’ll take it in this house, with me.”
He bent and slammed his mouth down on mine. His hands unwrapped my towel and they slid down my back and ended cupping my ass.
“Shower and then come eat,” he whispered against my lips before lifting his head further. “I’ll bring you some of my clothes. You look better in them than I do anyway.”
“Wait, what about my clothes…my apartment?”
“We’ll talk about it when you come eat.”
I nodded, and since my mood had shifted slightly for the better, and because he was irresistible, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck, lifted on my toes and pressed a kiss to his jaw.
He groaned, slowly backed away, and said, “Shower, Mia, or we’ll never get out of the damn bedroom.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam Bryant
I watched Mia walk down the stairs forty minutes later and I still couldn’t believe she was actually home. She was in my black drawstring sweats, rolled up at the bottom, and a white t-shirt tied at her hip. Her red hair hung damp down her back and over her right shoulder, but I could see the natural waves already forming. She was looking at her feet, watching where she stepped, but I could see that her face was free of all makeup.
My body relaxed.
When she hit the bottom step, she looked to the living room and froze. She stood there a second before spinning around to search for me. Our eyes met and her full, pink, bow shaped lips tipped up into a grin. She started walking my way.
“Your living room is destroyed,” she chirped, and the little redheaded terrorist sounded pleased with herself.
I grinned. “Are you proud of yourself?” I joked, she shrugged and her grin softened to a smile.
“It actually felt good at the time. Though, I was disappointed with my aim at your head. I’ll have to practice for next time,” she quipped with a serious face, and I laughed. Hard. I realized I hadn’t laughed so hard in a really long time, and it felt good. I’d been missing something in my life and I realized then that it was Mia. The thought sobered me, but it didn't erase my smile.
She was here now.
“I have no doubt about that, Freckles. But you know, even though you’re my wife, I can still arrest you. I probably should have last night for all the shit you pulled.”
“Well, I do seem to remember you handcuffing me,” she murmured through a smirk and I laughed again.
“All right, shrimp, eat,” I ordered jokingly as I sat the plate of food down in front of her.
Her nose scrunched up and she frowned. “I do feel like a shrimp in your clothes,” she muttered as she looked down at herself quickly, before climbing onto a barstool.
She picked up her sandwich and complained with sass, “This is all I get? I feel shafted. Our first morning together, I got crescent rolls and scrambled eggs. Actually, this sort of feels a little déjà vu...” She frowned, and then she growled, “…if
Missy shows up tonight or tomorrow, I’m cutting that bitch up like I did your couch.”
And there she was. My Mia. She’d always been there, but her guard was down, and I hoped like hell she stayed that way. My dumb-ass speech in the bedroom earlier had been spur of the moment and I shouldn’t have brought it all up at that time, but I hadn’t been able to take her distance from me any longer.
“Are you okay? You look upset,” she asked softly.
I looked into her eyes.
“Just glad you’re back, Freckles,” I admitted, and she looked down at her plate.
“I’ll try, Adam,” she swore in a small voice. “That’s all I can promise.”
She’d try and she'd succeed, but I didn’t say that out loud.
I nodded. “Eat. I’m going to sweep up the glass in the living room while you do.”
“I’m sorry about that. I’ll eat fast and help you.”
“I got it. I deserved it. Eat,” I said harsher than intended. I wasn’t sure why, but I just wanted her to eat. I wanted her to feel comfortable here.
“Oh, all right,” she grumbled and picked up the sandwich.
I was sweeping up the last of the broken glass when I heard Mia call out, “I gotta run upstairs to get my purse. I’ll be right back.” I assumed she didn’t require a response since I heard her jogging up the stairs.
I was dumping the glass in the trash in the kitchen when I heard her walk back in.
“Everything okay?" I asked with my back to her and I heard her shuffling around.
“Yeah, fine, I just had to get my birth control pills.”
I spun around so fast my neck hurt. “Your what?” I asked just as she swallowed the water from her glass which meant she’d already taken the pill.
“Uhhhh… my what…what?” she asked confused.
“Did you fuck Max without a condom?” I asked, because I couldn’t help it, and the thought pissed me off, but that’s not why I was really mad.
I hated the fuckin’ idea that when I came in her last night and this morning, it meant nothing.
But again, I’d said the wrong thing and I knew it for certain when I heard her sharp intake of air and hissed, “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t use a condom with you last night or this morning, Mia.”
Wrong again!
She looked as though I slapped her. Yep, I’d fucked up bad.
“I know that, I’m not stupid, but you sure as hell are! Do you really think I’m that dirty?”
I groaned because that wasn't anywhere close to what I thought. She continued, “I think we both know condoms don’t protect against everything out there, but I never would have slept with you without one had I thought for a second I could give you a disease! At least I know I’ve only slept with two other men since you, but I’m positive you can’t say the same…you’re probably into the thousands --” she stopped abruptly and covered her mouth with her hand like she was going to throw up.
“How many?” she asked in a tortured whisper and my back went rigid.
“Damn it, Mia, we’re not talking about this shit. Not one of them fuckin’ mattered to me. And I wasn’t insinuating that I thought you could have given me a disease. That’s not what I meant. I don’t like you taking birth control,” I finished, but I could tell she was so far gone into panic mode that my words hadn’t registered.
“What number am I? I should be asking you if you’re clean. I’ve been on birth control since the miscarriage, but I’ve always used condoms because I never want to get pregnant again --”
My face contorted in pain as I felt the blow radiate throughout my entire body. “What. The. Fuck. Did you just say?”
Mia’s lips pressed together into a firm line and she didn’t answer.
"Tell me," I barked, but again, nothing.
“What do you mean you never want to get pregnant again?” I roared at her.
“I don’t want to fight with you about this,” she whispered.
“Oh, but you can fight with me about everything else? Open your mouth and answer me!”
“I don’t want kids,” she screamed right away, nearly cutting me off, her cry echoing throughout the kitchen. I had to close my eyes against the agony as another blow rocked me on my feet.
“I don’t deserve to be pregnant again. I was reckless and I killed my baby!” Her voice shook as she kept screaming. “I should have cared more about my baby than I did myself, but I didn’t and I lost my baby!”
Fuck!
I stalked toward her, but she backed away as she sobbed and screamed, “Stay away from me!”
I ignored her.
I kept coming and I reached her before she could take off up the stairs. She turned to run, but I wrapped her in my arms and crushed her against my chest. Her body trembled against mine and her pain ripped out my heart as my own pain cut me to the bone.
“I can’t take it anymore,” she cried and I knew she was desperate to forget, just like I was. I squeezed her tighter and swallowed past the lump in my throat as my own tears threatened to arise. I rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, but nothing seemed to sooth her. I bent and swept her into my arms.
She threw her arms around my shoulders and cried against my neck as I carried her to the bedroom. The only light came from the setting sun through the windows and when I made it to the bed, I laid her down like she was made of glass and I crawled in beside her. When she moved to roll away from me, I held firm in silent refusal. If she was going to cry, my body was going to feel her tears.
And as she cried, I rubbed her back and held her tight until, finally, long minutes later, her cries subsided.
That’s when I decided it was time. She needed to know so she could start working on it now.
“Freckles, we’re gonna have to work through this because I’m counting on you to be the mother of my kids.” She shook her head furiously against my chest. “What happened was an accident, Baby. It took me a long time to realize that, but neither one of us could have changed what happened. I’ve seen the accident report. You have to know, whether you were pregnant or not, the driver of the other truck would have hit you regardless. It had nothing to do with how you were driving.” Another tremor wracked her body as her tears started again. I kissed the top of her head and let my lips linger, before looking up to stare at the ceiling.
Every tear that soaked through my shirt felt like razors slicing my skin wide open. It hit me then that she’d been hurting like this for six agonizingly long years, and she’d been living with the pain all alone. I’d felt responsible for a long time, too, but I’d finally come to terms with the fact that the accident had been destined to happen, no matter what. And here I’d thought she’d moved on with her life, when she’d really only been suffering by herself.
I felt one, single, lone tear slide out of the corner of my eye, thinking of all I could have done to help her, but I hadn’t been there. I should have done this sooner. I should have pushed away all my macho selfishness and come for her. I should have kidnapped her and forced her to listen, and forgive me.
She was here now, in my arms where she’d stay for the rest of her life. It wasn’t too late.
"Freckles," I whispered, sometime later, possibly an hour later, and all I got was her murmured, "Hmm..." in acknowledgement.
My fingers drew lightly on her shoulder as I continued whispering, "Baby, it's fast - really fast - but no matter what happens, when it happens, we'll figure it out. No more pills."
Mia said nothing, but she nestled her face deeper into the hollow of my neck.
"Mia, did you hear me? I need to know that you understand and you're okay with this."
I felt her breath on my skin when she responded, again in a soft murmur, "Mmm-hmm...okay."
Instantly, every muscle in my body I hadn't realized were tense loosened with her easy agreement.
Minutes passed, her breathing grew stronger and I knew she was out like a light. I carefully disentangled myself from her peaceful,
sleeping frame, slid out of bed, took care of some business, took a quick shower, changed into clean boxer-briefs, crawled back in bed, and snuggled up to my woman.
It was pitch black when my eyes opened and I blinked a few times to clear my vision. I felt Mia move.
“Adam, are you awake?” she breathed against my ear as her nails raked down my stomach, which tightened at her touch. Next thing I knew, her hand was in the front of my shorts and I was painfully hard the second she took me in her hand. I hissed when her thumb circled the tip.
“Mia,” I said, my voice hoarse.
“I need you inside me,” she demanded, her voice low and husky from sleep. I groaned when she nipped my earlobe.
Was I still dreaming?
She continued to work her hand up and down, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure as she kissed and nipped my neck. I wanted to give her what she wanted, I really did, but I didn’t want her to stop either.
Only a few seconds later she did, but it was so fast I nearly missed it. She whipped the t-shirt over her head, shimmied out of my sweats and her panties, and had my boxers down to my ankles before I realized what was happening.
Then I was in her mouth and I groaned. She started out slow, teasing, licking and flicking the tip with her tongue, before her mouth grew greedy, going deep, taking sharp pulls and squeezing me in her fist.
I cupped her jaw and felt her mouth working hard, which only turned me on more.
“Baby, if you want me inside you, you’re going about it the wrong way,” I admitted, because what she was doing felt too fuckin’ good. She pumped her hand a few more times and then lifted to crawl up my body. When she straddled my lap, my hand went straight for her sweet spot and I caressed her with my thumb. I heard her loud exhale, like she’d been desperate for the relief.
She worked herself a few times against my thumb before whispering, “I’m ready.” She lifted herself higher, and I gripped her hips. She gripped me, found her core and slowly lowered herself down until full.
Then she stopped.
Adam, Enough Said (This Can't be Happening) Page 21