by Lauren Dane
“Sit. You’re very messy with the back. Why didn’t you ask me to do it for you?” It wasn’t really a mess, but he was a perfectionist and he liked getting his hands on her any time he could.
With a smile, she handed him a cup of tea before settling in and letting him get the drape on.
“Why do you have that face?” He tried gruff but failed as he adjusted his clippers.
“The face came with the body, dude. What can I say?”
“Oh you think you can tease your way around this slaughter you’ve made back here?”
“I love it when you get gruff with me. You know that right? Anyhoodle, yes I know I make a mess back there. I’d planned on asking you to trim it up when I got here but you bossed me before I could.”
He leaned down to brush his lips against her temple. “Good morning, Maybe. I like your new hair color. I’m very impressed by the color application.” He ran his fingers through it.
“Good morning, Lyosha. I’m glad you like my hair.”
He turned on the clippers, loving the hum.
“I like it when you call me that,” he said quietly.
Her lips curved into that smile she showed only him.
“Don’t go too short. I’m growing it out,” she told him before sipping from her mug.
No. His mug.
“You’ve stolen my tea.”
“I know. I’m a rebel. Plus it tastes better when it’s been purloined. Man, your aunt spoils you so much. She even sweetens your damn tea.”
“It’s her way of saying she loves us. With every loaf of bread, every cookie and cup of tea she can freely love with abandon. She may not speak it out loud all the time, but she says it every day just the same.”
He made quick work of the trim, deciding right then he’d be the only one to cut her hair from then on.
He told her so as she checked out the back of her head in the mirror.
“And you should start to do color here. You’ve suggested it before. I know. I agree. Get me some pricing information and a supply list and we can work out the details.”
Her features lit. “Thank you! That totally makes my day.”
“I meant it when I said your work was good. You can command a good price so don’t underestimate yourself with that.”
She strolled across to her station, taking his mug with her. Most likely his aunt knew Maybe loved sweet black tea and that’s why she’d sent a thermos of it over just half an hour before with Vic.
“I’m new at it though,” she said of the coloring.
“You’re so confident at so many things. You know you’re good at your job. Why do you shy away from pride there too? Well-deserved pride.”
Her parents had done this to her, Alexsei was sure. All that constant criticism of what was an essential part of who she was had worn her down in ways she didn’t even realize.
He kept silent his snort of derision at the thought of her father and the things he’d said to Maybe at Thanksgiving.
She just kept sipping her tea.
“I assume you’re not arguing because you know I’m right,” he told her. Certain. Also knowing he could goad her into answering.
Her snicker made him feel better.
“It’s not a calling. I’m not saving people’s lives or finding missing kids. I’m good at cutting hair.”
“You’re very good at it. And why do you do it then?” Because he knew for certain it wasn’t just for the money.
“It pays my bills. It has a benefits package.”
He just kept staring at her until she went on.
“Okay. I like that something so simple can totally pick up someone’s day. A haircut, a tube of lipstick, some new nail polish. Little things that are like a treat. It’s nice to think I’m a part of that. Talking to my clients is fun. Mostly. I learn new stuff every day. All in all, it’s a good way to make a living.”
“I agree. So it’s more of a calling than you give yourself credit for. And on that really wise note, my next appointment has arrived.” He turned, waving the guy over and letting her chew on what he’d just told her.
* * *
AN HOUR LATER Maybe grabbed her phone and headed out for a fifteen-minute break. She really just wanted to call her aunt and not be overheard, but the walk, even in the misty rain, would be a nice benefit.
“Hey, Robbie,” she said when her aunt answered.
“Hey there, sweetie. How are you? I was just talking to your uncle about Christmas plans and thinking about you and Rachel. I’m hoping you’re ready to tell me how Thanksgiving went because your father sent me another one of his emails about the importance of family and getting you in line.”
She’d only told her aunt that it had been a really unpleasant scene and they’d left early, not trusting herself to tell the story without crying.
Robbie, being the amazing listener she was, had allowed the avoidance after Maybe promised to tell her the whole of it when she was ready.
So she did as she walked, avoiding collisions with other pedestrians and the occasional car when she crossed the street. Letting herself unload on her aunt, knowing it didn’t hurt her to hear it. She could unburden herself without guilt the way she couldn’t with Rachel.
Even Cora was hard to fully reveal things to because she loved both Rachel and Maybe so fiercely, she wanted to make things better immediately. And Maybe needed not to have to manage anyone else’s emotions right then. Her own were more than enough.
At the very end, Robbie swore a long string of words that would have scored the hide off her dad if he’d been within hearing. “I figured it was something like that. I’m sorry. He is who he is and he’s always been that way. It made him a great soldier and a good cop. But a pretty piss-poor father.”
“Rachel stood up to them. Not just for me, but for herself. They were so used to her being perfect and obedient they didn’t know how to react.” Maybe laughed. It’d been amusing in its own weird, screwy family way.
“She needs to stay strong or he’s going to steamroll her. I sure wish you two were over here, where I could see you more often. Protect you from him. You’re everything about him that he hates.”
“Gee. Thanks, I guess.”
“You know what I mean, don’t you? He’s a person who needs certainty to the extent that change or any challenge to the status quo is hugely upsetting for him. You’re spontaneous and funny. Full of light and humor. He just doesn’t know how to love you. Pity, because you’re so worthy of love, Gladys, my darling.”
Maybe let herself exhale long and slow, breathing back in, taking with it the scent of the Sound, briny and slightly metallic. She’d needed that. Needed the words.
“I love you, Robbie.”
“I love you too. Aside from that situation with your parents, how are you? How are things with Alexsei?”
“He lectured me a few minutes ago. Even wrapped it up with a cleverly done example at the end to spank me just a bit. He got me to see what I do in a different light,” Maybe explained. “My dad did that to me my whole life, well, the lecture part, always telling me what I should feel and how I should act. It feels similar, and yet not and I don’t know if I can handle a guy like him. Alexsei’s just so, ugh, he’s just one of those people who makes decisions. People trust him. They seek his opinion. He barely says anything but what he does say is oddly poetic. It’s... I’m pretty gone over him.”
“It doesn’t sound to me like it’s the same at all. I give you lectures and pep talks too. You listen to those and still make your own choices. That you listened to him and then adjusted your way of looking at something? That’s important. For you both. You don’t trust easily, baby. And I know why.” Tears came into Robbie’s voice. “Damn it. Sorry. Anyway. You trusted him enough to really hear what he was telling you and he knows you well enough to earn that trust. Being understood and
listened to is important.
“It completely makes sense that you’d end up with someone with a very strong personality. Someone stable and yet charismatic. Strength of character, strength of will is not the same as bullying people. You know that or you wouldn’t be with him. He’s not my brother, Maybe. Your Alexsei sounds a lot like you, only less talkative. Which is good. Bring him over for Christmas if he’s free. We’d like to meet him.”
“I don’t know if I...if we’ve been together long enough for me to invite him yet. Let me think about it?”
“Of course. The invitation is open so just let me know. And Maybe? Your sister doesn’t need you to keep banging your head bloody against a brick wall. You’re allowed to protect yourself.”
“She doesn’t need any more stress over this whole thing. Just over the last six months she’s come into her own. She’s more confident in her decisions. She’s building a career for herself at the tattoo shop. I’m just trying to give her some cover until she’s stronger. It’s not that I think she’d expect me to take crap from our parents. I just don’t want her to have to think about it and be upset.”
Robbie clucked her tongue but eased back. “If only people knew what a big smooshy marshmallow center you had. Just think about what I said, okay? I accept what you’re saying about protecting her until she’s stronger. She needs to do this herself at some point. I just worry about what else my brother is going to do to get his way and how it’s going to hurt you.”
Maybe did too. But it helped having her aunt at her back. Knowing she was appreciated and loved. Accepted for who she was made all the difference in her life.
By the time she returned to Whiskey Sharp she was in much better spirits and ready to get back to work.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
MAYBE COUNTED OUT her cash drawer in the back office. Out front the bar would be closing. Alexsei would be locking up while the counters got wiped down and the floors got mopped.
He’d give everyone the eye if he thought they were slacking or not doing something right, but mainly, the crew who worked there now were all fairly well in tune. They had a good rhythm, especially at closing time.
She heard the steady fall of his steps coming toward her and her skin heated. He did that to her just by existing. She always seemed hyperaware of him.
“Thanks for staying late tonight,” he said as he sat his very fine ass across from her at his desk.
He’d needed the help and asked. So of course she’d said yes. The bar was open only until ten anyway. And her tips from that night behind the bar had been outstanding, which meant her holiday gift fund just got fatter and she could afford the bracers, ties and a few other things she thought he’d like.
But she just gave him a shrug. “Sometimes people get sick. I was glad I could help.” After zipping the deposit bag, she held a wad of cash aloft. “Good day today.”
Christmas was in a little over two weeks. And for the first time she found herself with a boyfriend she wanted to buy presents for. A boyfriend. Weird. But pretty cool.
“That grin on your face makes me nervous,” he said.
“And you say I’m the suspicious one. I was just thinking here I was with a house payment, a budget, Christmas presents to buy and a boyfriend.”
His pleased smile sent a tingle through her.
She waved a hand his way. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head that I’m sort of sweet on you.”
“I’ll try.”
His dry delivery brought a guffaw from her. “You just made a joke, Lyosha. What a bad influence I am,” she told him.
His eyes went very dark and then half-lidded. He let himself relax in his chair as he watched her. Greed in his gaze.
There was something so powerful about being looked at that way. By a man like Alexsei.
“The tallest, strongest tree has deep roots in the ground.” He shrugged.
Like he knew what she’d been thinking. Knew how important it was to her to be stable. To be someone you could count on.
Being Alexsei though, he had to say it all mysterious and poetic.
But she got his point. “So like hey the best people have the roots to stay badass? Family and mortgage and boyfriend being the roots making you strong?”
A smile played at the corner of his mouth but he was able to hold his faux severe look. “Something like that, yes.”
Avoidance made her finally speak the question she’d had for years but hadn’t asked. “Who’s that picture of? The one just there?” Maybe tipped her chin at the oval frame holding a black-and-white photograph of an older man with a spectacular beard.
“That’s my great-grandfather. He was a barber too. He learned in the army and then had a shop in his tiny town. But then the government took it over and let him run it for them. He used to close up in the evenings and then give haircuts in his yard. His way. Handsome Thomas, that’s what they called him. He was pretty old when I was little, but I have memories of him.”
Wistful light bled into Alexsei’s eyes and it pleased Maybe to see it.
“He stood up. He did what he wanted to do, even as he appeared to comply. There was always something so alluring to me about that. He had roots but he still lived the way he could whenever he could. He never gave up on being himself but he allowed himself to be part of something bigger too. Like you, zajka.”
Maybe had to blink quickly to keep the tears from falling, but the emotion was still in her voice. “He sounds like he was a pretty punk rock dude. I’m honored you’d compare us at all.”
He smirked again with that shrug of his.
“Saturday morning, before Seth’s birthday dinner, let’s go to Pike Place Market. I haven’t bought his present yet. I figured you’d want me to take your picture on or near the pig and all that stuff,” he told her.
Wow. He not only got her in ways no one else had, but he seemed to accommodate and even enjoy her weird little obsessions.
“Okay. Sounds good. I’ll get Robbie’s Christmas present then too. She loves teapots and there are two places I often find really wonderful ones at. I’m sure to find something for Rachel there as well.”
The having a guy to buy something for wasn’t such a novelty. She’d been dating people during birthdays or that sort of thing. Presents were fun to give, after all.
But having a boyfriend to give a present that showed she truly thought about him and what he liked and needed, well, that was something totally out of her wheelhouse.
He meant something to her and Maybe wanted to give him the perfect gift. She’d give lots of little silly things too. Unwrapping stuff was so much fun and she couldn’t wait to see how he reacted to Maybe in present mode.
This wasn’t just a matter of giving him something she knew he’d like. But something exactly right for him. From her.
She’d already been looking for the last few weeks. Found a few things she would give him, but not the winner. It’d come in its time. And when she saw it, she’d know.
“Come on. I’ll give you a ride home,” he told her. “We’ll deposit the cash on the way.”
She grinned, grabbing for her coat. “Okay. You gonna stay over?”
He pulled his overnight bag out from behind his desk. “I have my earplugs this time.”
Charmed, she took his hand when he reached for her.
“I told you things can get loud when Rachel, Cora and I watch television together.”
“You certainly did. It’s my turn to cook so I have some ingredients in the fridge behind the bar.”
He totally knew he would be staying over and he still sort of expected her to ask. She hadn’t figured that out at first, but she caught on, learning what he liked and needed as she did. She wanted him to feel welcome. Because she truly did enjoy having him around.
That was pretty big. It scared her that she cared so much about that stu
ff. Enough that she alternated between total avoidance—pretending she was absolutely chill with everything—and somewhat panicked over examination.
All the while, the constant was Alexsei. The storm of her life raged all around him, but he kept at an even keel.
He opened her car door—as he always did—before going around to his side. The beefy engine rumbled to life at the push of a button.
She’d been surprised when he bought the shiny black Challenger the year before. But after she’d ridden with him a few times, she understood it. The car was a lot like him.
There was no mistaking, even at a glance, that both had power. A quiet, raw power. But sometimes, at full speed, it was loud and overwhelmingly strong. The power was in charge and unrestrained.
“Damn,” she told him, “I just got myself all worked up thinking about you and this car. I just thought you should know that.”
His mouth quirked, just slightly. “All right.”
Snorting, she reached out to squeeze his hand.
* * *
MAYBE ADJUSTED THE microphone before counting off. Cora came in with guitar and the others followed before a few more beats when Maybe started their cover of PJ Harvey’s “Yuri-G,” one of the few songs she sang more than backup on.
Now the words had extra meaning. She thought of Alexsei as she belted the song out. Thought of how much her life had changed, even though it looked pretty much the same from the outside.
The night before as she’d been drifting into sleep after some spectacular sex, she thought about that story of his great grandfather, of the way he’d known she’d want to go holiday shopping at the market and made it into a date. The way he’d brought ingredients for the spaghetti Bolognese because she loved it. And it hit her right then that he’d seen her flaws and accepted them. Perhaps even felt attracted to some of them.
He didn’t tolerate her with mild distaste. He didn’t think she was a weirdo. Well, okay she was pretty sure he sort of did, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with it.
He’d unraveled everything she’d been using to hold herself back and take her time. It changed her perspective in so many ways she still felt off balance. So she threw herself into the song, letting her muscles burn, enjoying the feel of sweat on her skin.