by J. K Harper
“Heya,” I said as I flipped the switch to open the doors. “Sorry, was just around back. Doing my rounds.”
“Hey, you running late? You’re normally done with them by now.” He stepped in and dusted off the snow that had accumulated like two little hills on his shoulders.
“I guess you could say that.” I hated lying. It didn’t matter to whom it was told or the extent of the lie, it all felt wrong to me. Yet my first instinct while holding the kid in my arms was to lie… and to do it well. For both their sakes. The woman really didn’t want to be caught, and I guessed I could understand why. If I were homeless—as surely she was; why else would she hide out in a store till after closing time?—and a single mother, the last thing I’d want would be to be separated from my child, especially at this time of year.
He quirked an eyebrow at me, his bushy moustache rippling across his lip. He was gonna call me on my bullshit. “Are you sure everything is all right? I could’ve sworn I heard voices… yells.”
“Really?” I swallowed and tried to keep my composure. “It’s just me and the kid here. I know what you probably heard. I was singing, trying to get her to stop crying… and for the most part it worked.”
“Oh, right.” He nodded and looked at the little bundle in my arms. “No wonder it sounded like a cat drowning then.”
“Hey, I never said I was any good.”
“It’s a wonder you didn’t make it cry more,” he said. “Anyway, can’t stay long. Got a guy in the back that I have to take back to the station. A sheriff’s work is never done.”
“What did he do?”
“Caught him breaking into a house.”
I looked over his shoulder out towards his station wagon. “Er, Patrick, don’t mean to worry you, but the passenger door is open.
“What?” He spun around and looked. “You have got to be kidding me!”
“You said he was breaking into a house… did he by any chance happen to have a lock-picking set?”
“Eugh, I didn’t even think to check. The window had been smashed, and it was the end of my shift. Just wanted to get home. Shit, what a nightmare.” He rubbed his face.
“Want me to help you look for him? He couldn’t have gotten far.”
“Nah, I’m sure I’ll pick him up again for something else. He doesn’t stay hidden for too long.”
“A regular, huh?”
“You could say that. So, who’s the baby then? Last time I checked, you weren’t even dating!” He laughed and I relaxed a bit; at least he’d bought my little white lie. Now I just had to hope the woman would stay out of sight till he was gone. It was a bit of a turnaround; at first I truly did think it would’ve been a good idea to get Patrick involved, to tell him everything and for him to take the problem, as it were, out of my hands (and the guilt). But it looked like Patrick already had enough on his plate, what with his missing criminal. And now after seeing the woman properly, hearing her… touching her, I knew I would do anything to protect her… anything. The notion startled me, and I looked up to find Patrick waiting for an answer.
“Oh, right. Yeah. I’m just, er, babysitting. For my kid sister. Giving her a night off, you know?”
“Didn’t know you had family in town.”
I shook my head, getting myself deeper into the lie. I just hoped I could swim and it wouldn’t drown me in the end. “No, I don’t, not this town. Over in Scarfell.”
He nodded and let me fill in the silence. “Ah, yeah, a bit out of my jurisdiction, that,” he said with an almost knowing smile.
“Yeah, she came over for a visit. But this little one is a bit of a night owl, keeping everyone awake. So I said I could take her to work, since I’d be up anyway.”
“Yeah, good idea.”
“You won’t tell anyone, will you? I’m pretty sure it’s against the company policy to bring a kid, let alone a baby, to work.”
“No worries, I won’t mention it, as long as you don’t mention the one that got away. Bit embarrassing, really. I was sure I locked the back doors, but you’re probably right. He’s known for being able to break in and out of places. But anyways, you’re doing a good thing. Though make sure you get a coat on—what’s the baby’s name?”
“Er,” I stalled, a thousand girls’ names cycling through my brain. I needed only one, but every one I touched upon seemed wrong for her little face. “Ava,” I spat out, thinking of my mom’s middle name.
“Good name. She looks like an Ava,” he said as he came closer, offering her his finger to hold. She grabbed it at once and kicked her feet in delight.
“She does, doesn’t she? Like it fits.” Any other name that I could think of—Sarah, Michelle, Joy, this list went on and on—didn’t come close to Ava.
He nodded. “Strong grip, too. She’ll be a handful, mark my words,” he chuckled and claimed his finger back. “Well, I just wanted to stop by and catch you before the holidays. I presume you’ll get a few days, I mean nights off?”
“Me? Nah! No rest for the wicked. Besides, happy for the money. Let the other guys with families have their Christmases,” I said, thinking that maybe one day it would be nice to have what they had. A day spent completely around family and the people you loved. Celebrating a little one’s first Christmas, too, perhaps. I shook my head to clear the wandering, wanting thoughts. Looking at Ava’s face and holding her for even just such a short period of time had caused such a stirring of need in me. It felt like one of those times when you knew something inside you had changed, and there was nothing you would be able to do to go back and un-know what you already knew. The bell couldn’t be un-rung.
“You have a good one, though, all right? Don’t spend it all alone, either—”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be. Jayne’s already made claim to my Christmas afternoon—I think she’ll try and fatten me up.”
“Ha! Good woman. Right, I best be off,” he said as he glanced at his watch, his big duffel-like thick coat rustling with each movement. “Kirsty will be wondering where I am.”
“Merry Christmas,” I called, hand in the air to wave as he left. Patrick glanced over his shoulder as I quickly slapped the switch and the automatic doors slid back in place after letting him out. For a second I thought he was going to turn back around and call me on my deception, but he gave a little shrug, and the frown line disappeared before he crunched through the sticky snow underfoot.
I breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Ava. I very much doubted that was her name. Odds would be a million to one or more that I’d been able to guess it right off the bat. “That was close, huh?” I said to her. Her little cheeks rounded as she smiled up at me. God, my heart melted! No doubt she would be a heartbreaker in her time, but she’d already claimed mine.
“Come on, let’s go find your mom and persuade her that I’m not a monster.” I turned to walk past the checkouts and down the way I’d seen her go. “You can come out now. He’s gone.”
I waited, counting my heartbeats until she reappeared.
But she never did.
Chapter 5
Cora
Tears were streaming down my face, and I found myself in the freezer section near the back of the store. I couldn’t believe I’d left her. I’d fought, but it hadn’t been enough. I wasn’t enough… not to get my baby back, and I hadn’t been enough to keep Hunter with us, either.
My fingers went to my wrist, to where I’d normally have my watch—but it wasn’t there. I thought about what my dad would’ve said if he saw me act this way… giving up so easily. He would’ve pulled me to one side and told me to get my head back in the game. I felt ashamed that I’d let him down. My fingers skirted farther up my forearm to the place where the security guard had held me.
Though his hold had been firm, he hadn’t hurt me. Instead there had been a tingling, a spark of sorts from the unexpected contact. I stroked the area, idly wondering if I was just imagining the bizarre pull I’d felt when I saw him, standing there with my baby in his arms. Like he
would do anything to protect her.
No, you’re just emotional and overthinking things, I thought as I paced down the far edge of the store. He had my baby, was effectively holding her ransom. There was no way I could be attracted to him, could I? Either way, I wouldn’t let myself. I had sworn off men—for good! Hunter had been enough of a hassle. Even when he was around he was useless, making Ava cry half the time. He was far from a natural dad, and if I was honest, he never seemed bothered about her. He preferred to spend his time away from us instead of bonding with his newborn daughter.
He hadn’t even been there at the birth. He arrived three hours too late, with a myriad of excuses that made no sense at the time. I’d given him a pass—he’d eventually made it, after all. I had to be grateful for that, right? But just as soon as he’d arrived, he was off again, saying his mates had a job for him. And since we definitely needed whatever money he could bring in, I kept my mouth shut. I wondered now if that had been the right course of action… but knowing him, anything I’d said would’ve been belittled.
I found myself staring at a row of magazines near the front corner of the store. Voices in the distance chattered away, and I presumed they were talking about me, discussing what they were going to do to catch me. At that stage I was all ready to give up, walk right over to them, and hand myself in. But then the thought of the watch sputtered back into my head again—it wasn’t the time to cash in my chips. I still had Ava… and I would get her back.
I edged closer to listen to what they were saying. They were hidden from view behind a huge stack of Coke cans that were on offer, 12 for $1.99, practically half-price. But as their words became clearer, a dash of solid white caught my eye outside. Above the half-rack of magazines, out in the store’s parking lot, a man ran from the left. He didn’t stop and turned the corner, passing out of sight. I had to smother my mouth with my hand from the shock of seeing him again.
I couldn’t believe it. Though it was dark, I was close enough to see the contours of his face, and I would’ve recognized that twice-broken nose and straggly, dirty blond hair from anywhere. What the hell was Hunter doing here?
I looked to where he’d come from. My eyes followed the trail of scuffed-up snow to a vehicle. The restless flashing of the light atop the sheriff’s car caused a dizzying show as the snow came down. I found the point of his exit; the back passenger door of the station wagon was open, which could only mean one of two things. Either Hunter had been arrested, or he was a friend of the sheriff’s—which wouldn’t surprise me, what with all the dodgy dealings and weird things that happened in and around where we used to live. But then again, why would Hunter need to flee if that was the case? Weirder still, the sheriff didn’t seem too bothered by his escape. Choosing to stay and chat with the security guard about me, the intruder, I presumed.
Getting closer to the stack of cans, I strained to hear what they were saying. It seemed like the tail end of the conversation. I recognized the deep tone of the security guy’s voice, explaining what he would be doing over Christmas, and I had to admit my heart sank a tiny bit upon the mention of another woman’s name. Jayne was a lucky woman, I thought, to have a guy like that. And here I was stuck with the dregs of society… well, not even stuck anymore. I didn’t even have that going for me. Though it was probably for the best. Thinking about Hunter again and with him being so close, an idea struck me. Perhaps there was a way to get Ava back.
Making sure to take my trainers off this time, I snuck to the very back of the store and found the door marked ‘Staff Only’ and went through it, following the glow to the emergency exit. He couldn’t have gotten far, and maybe if I called to him he would hear me. The security guard probably would, too, but by then Hunter would come. I knew it. He would be too startled not to.
I shivered and rubbed my arms; the temperature had plummeted back here. I supposed they didn’t heat the back ways since there wasn’t really any point. These corridors looked like they were just used to bring in the stock. But as soon as I reached the end, I realized why I’d felt so cold. The fire door exit was wide open.
I spun around… he was already inside.
“Hunter?” I hissed, trying to whisper but to be as loud as possible at the same time. When I received no response, I turned back around, and this time instead of heading back out into the store, I delved deeper into the staff-only areas. “Hunter?” I called, straining to hear for an answer. “Where the hell are you?”
As I walked past what looked to be the dark and tiny staff room I’d found before, I heard movement from inside. The slight rustle of someone debating what to do. “Cora, is that you?”
“Yes!” I hissed again and went into the room.
I found his form leaning near the bulky refrigerator, with only the barest amount of light falling on his face. “Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing here?”
All thoughts of reconciliation went completely out of my mind when he scolded me. Instead, like an overflowing volcano the rage inside me wanted to flow, wanted to burn him. I wanted to hurt him so bad for all the crap he’d put me through. “You fucking bastard!” I said as I launched myself at him. He moved a little too quickly, as if he was expecting my attack, to avoid my fists.
“It’s good to see you, too,” he said in that cocky, infuriating way of his.
“You leave me without saying a word for months, and that’s all you have to say to me? Where they hell have you been?”
“It’s not been that long. Besides, does it matter? Now answer my question, why are you here?”
“I’m here because of you. This is all your fucking fault, you slimy piece of shit.” I wanted to cry, but I wouldn’t let myself. I had shed far too many tears over him, and he wasn’t going to get another one, not ever. Not a fucking drop.
“Hey, what the hell did I do?”
I just shook my head. If there was one thing Hunter did well, it was being unable to see his wrongdoing in anything.
“You made us homeless! Buckley kicked me out.”
“Before Christmas? The heartless bastard.”
“Are you kidding me right now? You’re the heartless one. You left. You left your daughter! You haven’t seen her for weeks! I didn’t know where you were or if you were coming back. I didn’t know if you were dead or alive. Though rats like you tend to survive, don’t they?”
He stepped forward, his face becoming hard. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Oh, I think you heard…”
I could tell he was debating whether or not to hit me, and it wouldn’t have been the first time. I almost dared him to. It would give me the opportunity to strike back.
But he stopped, coming up short as he noticed there was something—something quite significant—missing from my arms.
“Hey, where’s the kid?”
“The kid? You mean your daughter?”
“Yeah, the kid, Ava, whatever. Where is she?”
“Like you even care.”
“Cora,” he said simply, and I knew I had to tell him if I had any hope of getting her back.
“The security guard has got her,” I replied, almost choking on the words. My poor baby girl. I bet she had no idea where I was or when I was coming back to get her. But I would get her back, that I was sure of. One way or another. Yet, conflicting thoughts of screaming for the sheriff sprang to mind. Seeing the man I thought I used to love taken away and locked up would’ve been a nice Christmas treat, but I had to think of Ava. I needed Hunter to get her back.
“What? Why? What the fuck did you do, Cora?”
“Nothing! You made us homeless… I couldn’t get a job and look after Ava at the same time. But I even tried, and still there was nothing to keep us afloat while you were off doing whatever. You abandoned us! Hunter, you said you had the rent the last time I saw you, then nothing!”
“What does that have to do with Ava being with a security guard?”
“I’m trying to explain. We were homeless… no one would ta
ke us in, so I pawned what I could to try and get to my aunt’s, but there were no buses to take us today… I had to find somewhere to sleep for the night. And this seemed the safest place I could think of. He caught me… and basically took Ava.”
“What a minute, you were going to take my kid away without even telling me?”
I slapped him right then. “As far as I’m concerned, you aren’t her father. Fathers do not abandon their kids, letting them become hungry and homeless. Besides, you idiot, how the hell was I supposed to get hold of you? You didn’t even take your phone!”
He rubbed his cheek and did the wise thing to stay quiet for a bit. And for a second he almost looked ashamed about what he’d done. I say almost ’cause it wasn’t long before that cocky smile that I thought was cute at first reappeared on his face. “So let me guess, you need my help to get her back? What’s in it for me?”
“Are you fucking serious right now? She’s your daughter! I shouldn’t have to ask you for your help; you should just do it!”
“Fine,” he said as if it were the biggest chore in the world. “What do I need to do?”
“I dunno. We need to persuade him to give her back,” I said with a helpless shrug. He was big, but in his own way Hunter was strong, too. Maybe we could figure something out… I really didn’t want it to get violent. That was the last thing I wanted, especially as I remembered those gorgeous eyes and the way he had looked at me… like he wanted nothing more than to see me naked.
“Fine,” Hunter said again and turned around. He started to pull drawers open.
“What are you looking for?”
“A weapon.”
“Hunter, no. We don’t need to—”
“Too late, found one.” He held up a long butcher’s knife, the dull blade shining in the dim light. I could believe that a knife like that was in the staff room for one reason only—for cutting birthday cake or something, otherwise it was severely out of place.
“Seriously, Hunter, I don’t feel right about this.”
“Do you want her back or not?”