by J. K Harper
Folding my arms across my chest, I nodded. “Yup. A job.”
“At the clinic?” Ryan asked, shaking his head from side to side. “Well, that’s a different approach if I ever heard one.”
Everyone else was silent, as though they didn’t quite know what to do with my declaration.
“What did you expect me to do? Throw her over my shoulder and cart her off to my bedroom?”
“It would have been a start in the right direction,” Ralph murmured. “You’re her boss, now.” The way he phrased it had me thinking he thought it a bad thing.
“Not exactly.”
Ralph brushed away my denial. “Yes. You are. You’re her boss.”
“Which means you’ve just put yourself firmly in the no go area, bro,” Ryan added helpfully.
I had?
“Well, I think it’s perfect.”
Shooting Amy a grateful smile, I accepted a bowl brimming with pie from Mom and set it on the table, my appetite having vanished for some strange reason. Asshole brothers. Who needs them?
“Why’s that?” her mate asked, heaping cream onto his pie with a gusto mimicked by his son.
“It’s what she needs. Put yourself in her shoes, you’ve spent the last God knows how many years held captive, your self-esteem is rock bottom, and you’re out of touch with real life. When she came into the bakery earlier she was nervous as hell. She didn’t know how to talk to people or how to act. Jack is giving her the chance to find herself again.” Turning to me, she added, “I approve. And it also explains why she didn’t call in on her way home.” The last was said as an aside, more of a musing.
“And so do I,” Mom echoed, patting me on the shoulder. “Some of you men could learn from Jack, that not all women want to be hoisted over the shoulder and carried to the bedroom.”
At Pa’s stifled grunt, she flushed a pretty pink, the years melting away and giving a glimpse of the young woman she must have been. “Not all the time, anyway,” she murmured, her hand disappearing under the table.
And that was my cue to leave. Lurching from the table, I plopped a quick kiss on her head and ruffled Luke’s hair.
Ralph’s voice followed me out of the house, ringing in my ears, “Just remember, bro, actions speak louder than words!”
Chapter 10
Gina
“Momma?”
“Hmmm, yes, darling?” I continued stroking the brush through her thick, auburn hair, tugging against a particularly stubborn snarl with a gentle hand.
“Did you have a nice time today?”
“I sure did. Did you? What did you learn?” The classes the Smithrock pack children attended not only covered the basics, like numbers and spelling, they covered what I had dubbed life skills for shifters. Things like controlling the shift, etiquette, hunting, and so on. I knew from speaking to Tarq and Amanda that they had altered their classes slightly on the arrival of the rescued children, adding in sessions on play and bonding, working on diminishing the strict training regime the children had received in their earlier years.
“Not much today, but it was fun. Tracking in the snow. Even better, Alpha Tarq took the class!” Lizzie’s eyes glowed with hero worship, and I bit back the laugher that threatened. Amanda better watch out, she’s got competition.
Wrestling the snarl into submission, the brush glided through the silky strands, fanning them out across Lizzie’s pink flannel pajamas. “Wow! That must have been pretty special!”
“It was! Josh nearly had him beat, but Tarq fooled him in the end. Josh was pretty upset, until he remembered that it was just a game, and that we weren’t allowed to get upset anymore.”
Brush pausing, I chose my words carefully. “You’re allowed to feel however you want to feel, darling. But the way you react to those feelings, and how you choose to show them, that’s all new now. Josh was still upset, but he chose to focus on the fact that he nearly beat the Alpha. Life isn’t about winning and losing, baby, it’s how you play the game.”
Lizzie nodded, her eyes wide and solemn. Too solemn.
Laying the brush down, I pulled her into my arms, allowing myself a brief moment to indulge in her sweet baby scent. “You like it here, don’t you, honey?”
Her reply was muffled against my chest, but her nodding indicated a firm yes.
“Good.” Not giving her warning, I slipped my fingers under her arms, wiggling them until she squealed high pitched giggles. Wrestling the wriggling, squirming bundle that held my heart, I persisted until she begged for mercy, her eyes free of any shadows and dancing with the pure joy of being five. And being super ticklish.
Leaping from the bed, I busied myself tidying away the few toys stranded on the soft, woolen rug, blinking back the sting of threatened tears. Every time I looked at her, she took my breath away. Her laughter; it stole my heart. Her guileless smile, full of innocence and trust; it took everything I had.
Does every mother feel this way?
Rustling sounded from behind me, of sheets being peeled back and a small body settling in.
Having wrestled my emotions into submission, I turned back to her, taking in the heavy-lidded eyes and sleepy smile. “Are you looking forward to Christmas?” Perching on the side of her bed, I smoothed a curl back from her forehead.
“Our first Christmas together, Momma! I can’t wait.”
As sleepy as she was, I couldn’t miss the excitement in her voice. “It’s going to be the best Christmas ever.”
“I can’t wait,” she echoed, blinking up at me with starry eyes. “We have so many people to celebrate with, and have fun with, and there’s going to be lots of yummy food, and Josh said he’d come over!” Mouth going a mile a minute, she yawned, displaying the endearing gap where her two front teeth had once been. A pang squeezed my heart. She was growing too fast.
Plastering a smile on my face, I beamed at her. “It’s sure going to be fun! Do you know Doctor Jack?” I didn’t know where the question had come from, or why I was asking it, but it was out there. I couldn’t take it back.
“Sure! He’s nice.”
“Well…he offered me a job today.”
Lizzie perked back up, sleep falling away from her in an instant. “What kind of job?”
“I’m…not sure, really. An assistant of some sort. I’ll be training in first aid, which will be good for the pack.”
“Oh. I thought he’d offered you a different kind of job.” She sank back into her pillows, her disappointment clear from the way her smile drooped.
At my confused look, she took pity on me, gifting me with one of her, what I liked to call, special looks—the kind that gave me a glimpse into the future of what she’d look like as a fully grown woman. “Like Josh and Lottie.”
“Josh and Lottie?” I echoed.
“Josh has offered Lottie the job of being his mate.” She said it clearly. There was no chance that I’d misheard.
Coughing, I tried for composed but failed miserably. “Job? Of being his mate?”
“Yes. Shifters call them mates, but humans call it husband and wife. Doctor Jack could be my new daddy!”
Following her leap in logic, my eyes widened. “Honey…” Words failed me. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Josh already knew, at six years old, that Lottie was the one for him. Or that he’d called it a job. Making a mental note to speak to Oliver and Ana about him the next time I saw them, I swallowed hard, trying to find the right words.
“Lottie said yes, by the way.”
“Oh.” Putting Monica on the list of people I needed to speak to, I tried again. “When two people choose to spend their life together, it’s never a job, or a chore, it’s because they want to.”
“Don’t you want to spend your life with Doctor Jack?” She frowned at me, as though I was the one confusing things.
“Have you ever thought that maybe Doctor Jack doesn’t want to spend his life with me?” Deflection was easier than having to face her question, my mind circling it the way a wolf might circle a rabbit.
Or bees around a honey jar.
“Why wouldn’t he? You’re really pretty. And you smell nice!” Little arms folded across a narrow chest, her eyes dared me to deny her compliments.
“Well… I…”
“And you’d make him laugh. He needs to laugh, he’s got sad eyes.”
Stumped at where to go from here, I settled for giving her a quick hug and a kiss. “Sleepy time now. You’re okay with me having a job, then?” The conversation had derailed so fast, I hadn’t quite figured out what her actual reaction had been.
“Sure. As long as you’re happy, Momma.” It was said with another yawn, sleep dragging her under like quicksand. Her eyelashes settled against cheeks still rounded and plump, lips pouting into the same rosebud reminiscent of when she had been a baby suckling at my breast.
Removing my hand from where it rested on her head, it drifted toward my stomach, smoothing my shirt in a tentative stroke. Still gently rounded from my natural curves, the skin wasn’t tight or swollen, but it would be. Time wasn’t on my side. For once I didn’t want to burst into tears at the thought, didn’t want to rage and scream and shout at the unfairness of the world. Fear had finally released its grip, a soft wonder spreading through me at the thought of holding another child in my arms. Another Lizzie to fill my world with happiness and light.
For months I had resented the child growing inside of me, a constant reminder of the past I wanted to forget. Hate was too strong a word. I had felt nothing. No love or affection or hope for the baby. I had begun to think I would never feel anything toward it.
But I had hated myself.
What kind of woman didn’t love her unborn child? Unconditionally and completely. That was how it was meant to be, how it had been when I had been pregnant with Lizzie. I had wanted her so much it physically hurt.
Not the emptiness I had felt for this one.
But now…pressing down, I imagined him or her nestled inside of me, my body giving life in this miraculous way, my heart finally trembled inside my chest, my throat constricting.
Today I had taken the first steps to overcoming my fears, perhaps finding friendship along the way. Confidence. Hope. I could do this—take this second chance at life and turn it into something worth living.
And I had finally found the love that had been missing.
But I had to say goodbye to the dreams I had unknowingly nurtured. Because who would want a woman pregnant and alone—for work.
Or for love?
Chapter 11
Gina
Bright and early the next morning, I found myself at the clinic, thrown in at the deep end. Way, way in at the deep end. At first I’d wondered if it might be a little strange working with Jack, after the heated exchange yesterday, but he’d thrown me for a loop by acting oblivious.
Actually, he’d acted like it had all been a dream. That he’d never cornered me and threatened to kiss me.
Or maybe he hadn’t. It wasn’t like he’d come right out and said it. I want to kiss you, Gina… My mind supplied his deep, throaty voice, throwing in an image of him stripped to the waist, muscles flexing and gleaming in the sunlight—
Wait! What? Damn, I needed something to take my mind off things. Or a cold shower. Or some time alone…
This time the groan escaped, bouncing around the room like a gun shot.
“Are you okay, Gina?” Jack’s voice was calm and professional, but there was a glint in his eye. Like he knew exactly where my mind had wandered off to. The first indication that I hadn’t dreamed up the whole thing.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Or push him up against the wall and demand he satisfy the ache that had been building up inside of me, churning and demanding and whispering naughty suggestions in my ear. Of the naked kind.
To top things off, the patient was staring at me, too, but luckily he didn’t seem to have a clue what was going on.
Squaring my shoulders, I decided the best thing to do was to tough it out. “I’m fine,” I replied, pleased that my voice didn’t have a hint of a quiver. Meeting his eyes, I nodded. “Carry on, please.”
The day passed in the blink of an eye, with no more devilish glints from Jack’s direction.
Passing his office at the end of the day, I hovered outside the door.
Glancing up from a pile of paperwork, he smiled. “Good job today, Gina. See you tomorrow.”
That was it. No hint of a wink. No glint to his eye. No sign that he wanted anything more from me.
“See you tomorrow.” I mumbled the reply, confusion raging a war inside of me. This was what I’d wanted, right? This way no one ended up disappointed.
The next day passed pretty much the same. I managed to keep my mind on track, tending to patients and learning as much as I could from him. We even managed to have coffee together, the conversation flowing free and easy. But the ache continued to grow.
As did the disappointment. I squashed it down, hiding it behind the jokes and laughter.
Another day passed, then another, and I found myself celebrating the end of my first full week at work.
“What have we got today?” Straight down to business, I slung my purse over it’s designated hook and shrugged out of my jacket. The clinic was starting to feel like a home away from home, the burnt smell of coffee intertwining with the stringent scent of antiseptic now comforting rather than strange.
Jack passed me a cup of coffee, doctored exactly the way I liked it—heavy on the cream with two sugars. “Busy day. Everyone wants to be seen before Christmas, it seems.”
Taking a grateful slurp, I tossed him a crooked grin. “You like being busy, admit it! It makes you feel all important.” We had settled into a familiar routine, me teasing and him taking it.
“I can’t help it that the townspeople love me,” he shot back, returning my grin with one of his own.
Taking another sip of my coffee, I snuck a second look at him. He was more relaxed today, his shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal strong, corded forearms, with the collar unbuttoned part of the way. Like he was gearing down for the holidays, a glimpse of the man relaxing at home.
I liked it.
Too much.
Way too much.
Clearing my throat, I indicated the door, then hot stepped it out of the kitchen, with him following behind. The day flew past in a blur, with barely any chance for a break. He wasn’t kidding when he said people wanted to be seen before Christmas!
The last patient of the day was already waiting in the appointment room when we arrived, perched on the small examination bed, her eyes brightening at first sight of Jack.
“Doctor,” she purred.
Yup. Purred.
No, Gina, you can’t punch the patient. I clamped down on the irrational urge to grab the woman and throw her out of the room, telling myself that if Jack was okay with being visually undressed, then I was, too.
But I sat on my hands. Just in case my pep talk didn’t work.
“Miss Cooper, what can we do for you today?” To give him his due, Jack sounded professional. Not at all distracted by the vision of loveliness swinging her legs at him. And thrusting out her chest.
My nails dug into the foam covering my chair and I gritted my teeth.
“Uh, well…” Miss Cooper glanced at me, then back at Jack, a small frown playing on her perfectly glossy lips. “Could we talk privately?” Another thrust of the chest, a button straining alarmingly.
“Actually, Gina here is running the show today. I’m just here for back up.” Sitting back in his chair, he motioned for me to take over, and I swear I saw a hint of satisfaction in his eyes when he glanced at my hands.
“Oh.” The patient pouted, then swinging her legs onto the floor, jiggled her way to standing. “I’m feeling all better now, sorry to waste your time!” Then she shimmied out of the room, her hips rolling and pert backside not bouncing one little bit.
Bye bye, bitch.
“Sorry? What was that?” The amusement was clea
r to hear in his voice.
Color flooded my cheeks as mortification hit me. “Nothing.”
“Okay—”
“Actually—” I rounded on him, frustration finally getting the better of me, “—does that happen often?”
Pausing halfway up from his seat, he stared at me. “Does what happen often?”
I nearly didn’t say it, but the words refused to stay where they belonged, on the tip of my tongue, “Women throwing themselves at you.”
“Yes.” He didn’t sugar coat it, didn’t mince words. Straightening to his full height, his eyes dared me to reply.
“Oh.”
He stiffened. “Oh, Gina? Is that all you have to say?” His voice was a low murmur, lightly mocking.
“What else can I say?” I couldn’t look away, his eyes having snared me, refusing to let me go.
Or I didn’t want to be released.
Either way, I was his until he chose to let me go.
“Does it bother you?” He moved closer, his large body filling the immediate space. His eyes flashed molten silver, a reminder that he was not just a man.
I should be panicking. I waited for my breath to hitch, for the heavy weight to drown my breath, but the only weight pressing against me was one of desire. “Why should it?” I sent back, not backing down, not moving an inch. Dammit, I was barely breathing here, my voice puffing out on a wisp of air.
Closing the gap, his eyes searched my face, his gaze almost a physical weight as he traced my features. “That’s up to you,” he eventually said. “If you admit it does bother you…then you can do something about it.”
Chapter 12
Jack
This wasn’t the plan. Calm, cool, and collected—that was the plan. Cornering her in the clinic like a wild animal scenting his prey…not so much. But instinct had taken over the second she had staked her claim.
Bye bye, bitch. Her whispered words echoed in my mind, her smug satisfaction at seeing off her competition stroking my bear into a frenzy of need. Not that there was any competition. No other woman existed but her.