And the most troubling part of the news was that Nat wasn’t enthusiastic about being a daddy to Elizabeth. Boone knew about Nat’s crummy childhood and his fear that he wouldn’t make a good father, but he should have tried to overcome that fear, in Boone’s estimation. And marry Jessica, while he was at it.
But whether Nat decided to cooperate or not, Jessica was coming back to get her baby, which meant Boone wouldn’t have the pleasure of playing daddy to Elizabeth every third week. He didn’t like to think about that too much. He’d taken the little girl into his heart, and letting her go was going to be one of the toughest things he’d ever done.
Thank God he had Shelby and Josh to ease the pain. With a sigh he rolled to his side and gazed at his wife sleeping beside him. He couldn’t see her clearly in the faint light, but he could see her clearly enough in his heart. He’d never known he could be this happy.
Having Shelby was wonderful enough, but now that they’d officially adopted her nephew Josh, Boone’s world was nearly perfect. Josh’s sociopathic father was behind bars awaiting trial for murder, and with the evidence against him, he wasn’t likely to bother Shelby and Josh again.
Boone cherished the notion of having his own little family and thought Nat was a fool to turn his back on the chance to have one, too. A family steadied a man.
Shelby’s hand, so small and delicate, lay on the pillow beside her cheek. Boone stroked it with the tip of his finger. He still couldn’t believe that a tiny thing like Shelby wanted anything to do with a big lug like him.
Luckily she wanted a lot to do with him. They were trying for a baby and hoping for a girl. Another baby wouldn’t replace Elizabeth, of course, but Josh had loved having a little sister. Boone and Shelby had both figured the day would come when they’d have to give up Elizabeth, so another baby seemed like a very good idea.
Trying to get Shelby pregnant had been an extremely satisfying project, although Boone was a tad bit worried about whether carrying his child would be too much for her small frame. She insisted that a woman’s body was amazingly adaptable, and he’d have to say that sure was true when he made love to her. Despite the difference in their sizes, they fit together beautifully.
He hadn’t realized she was awake until she spoke.
“You’re thinking about this business with Nat and Jessica, aren’t you?” she murmured.
“Yeah. I guess I woke you up with my tossing around.”
“No.” She snuggled against him, bringing with her the tempting scent of her body. “You woke me up with that feathery touch on my hand. For a big man you have the most gentle touch in the world.”
He reached under her nightgown and cupped her sweet bottom with more force than he usually used. “Don’t go making me sound like a sissy,” he said, pulling her toward him.
Her low chuckle was rich with arousal as she wiggled closer. “No one could ever accuse you of that, Boone. You’re gentle with the ones you love, but you’re hell on anybody who tries to hurt them.”
Holding her close, he stroked her blond hair and breathed in her special aroma, a blend of shampoo, cologne and woman. “That’s what’s bothering me. Nat’s one of my best friends, but if he won’t be a proper daddy to Elizabeth, that’s going to hurt her. Maybe not right away, but down the line, she’ll wonder how come he doesn’t pay attention to her.”
“I can’t believe he’s going to ignore her. She’s too darned cute.” She massaged the nape of his neck. “Each one of you worried yourselves sick about the responsibility until you laid eyes on her, remember? Once Nat sees her, he won’t be able to help himself. He’ll be a good father.”
“I hope you’re right, but he’s going to have to prove himself before we just turn her over.”
There was a smile in her voice. “Oh, I’m sure of that. Elizabeth definitely has her champions.”
“Yeah.” Holding her like this was having a predictable effect on him, which was just fine, because she was in her best time of the month for conceiving. And a man had to do his duty by his wife. His hot, sexy wife. His body throbbed with anticipation. “Well, enough of that,” he murmured, easing her nightgown higher.
“I was wondering if you were going to talk for the rest of the night,” she said.
“Nope.” His mouth found hers in the darkness. As she kissed him with abandon, passion rose in him, blocking out every other thought but one. Maybe this time his seed would find fertile ground and Shelby would ripen with his baby.
JESSICA TRIED to remember all the reasons why she shouldn’t make love to Nat as she stood in the motel room watching him strip off his shirt. Next, he hooked an arm over his shoulder, grabbed his T-shirt from the back and pulled that off over his head. Beneath a light pelt of dark chest hair, his muscles flexed as he tossed the T-shirt to the chair where he’d thrown his shirt.
No doubt about it, seventeen months of manual labor had sculpted him into a love god. He probably didn’t realize it, but he’d gone from having a decent build to being calendar quality. Even his hair, which was longer than she’d ever seen it, added to his muscular appeal. And she had to find the strength to turn away from him.
His gaze challenged hers and his voice was dangerously soft. “Are you planning to get undressed for bed, or are you waiting for me to help you?”
Her pulse rate climbed. “I…” She paused and cleared her throat. “I’ll undress in the bathroom.”
“Suit yourself.” He broke eye contact as he sat on the bed and pulled off one of his boots.
Without looking at him, she hurried across the room. She gave him as wide a berth as possible, which still meant she nearly stepped on his feet as she grabbed her backpack and ducked into the bathroom. She closed the door and leaned against it, breathing as if she’d run a footrace. Then she glanced at herself in the mirror and saw what Nat had seen—a blatant invitation.
She pulled off the blond wig and unpinned her hair. She hadn’t been trying to tease him, she told herself while running her fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp. This was simply the next outfit in the rotation she’d developed.
She’d bought and discarded clothes and wigs along the way—this particular disguise was a fairly new addition to her bag of tricks. But as she shimmied out of the zebra-print dress, she had to admit that she’d been glad this was the outfit for today instead of another truly ugly one, especially after seeing how he filled out the shoulders of his western-cut suit.
Rummaging through her backpack, she found her teal sleep shirt. Usually that was all she wore to bed, but tonight maybe she’d better leave her underwear on, too. Oh, God, how she wanted him. The few hours they would be closed into this motel room would be so packed with tension she’d never sleep. He probably wouldn’t, either. Maybe, for both their sakes, she should just go back out there and climb into his bed and be done with it.
No. She had to think of Elizabeth’s welfare ahead of all else. Love me, love my daughter. Nat didn’t seem at all prepared to do that, which meant she had to stay out of his bed.
After scrubbing all the makeup off and brushing her teeth, she started toward the closed door of the bathroom. The night before, she’d come out and he’d been standing right there waiting for her. If he did that again, and pulled her into his arms, she wasn’t sure she could resist him. One kiss and she’d be a goner.
She opened the door slowly and peeked out. With a sense of disappointment, she realized he wasn’t there. Apparently he wasn’t planning to use any caveman tactics that would let her off the hook. That was just as well. Of course it was.
Turning off the bathroom light, she walked out into the room and discovered he was already in the bed closest to the door, lying with his hands tucked behind his head while he looked up at the ceiling. He’d left the lamp on between the two beds, and he’d only pulled the covers up to his waist, so his chest was bare.
She wondered if he had any idea of the picture he made. Probably not. He’d never been aware of his sex appeal. And damn it, she want
ed to know if he was naked under the covers. She’d never known him to wear anything to bed.
Averting her gaze from the tantalizing sight of him lying there, she walked over to the far bed and pulled back the sheet.
“You’re right, you know,” he said.
“About what?” She got into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
“Not making love to me.”
His tone of voice pierced her heart. “I don’t know what’s right,” she said. “I only know what I have to do, for the baby’s sake. I can’t let myself be involved with someone who doesn’t love her as much as I do.”
He continued to stare up at the ceiling. “I knew you’d be a devoted mother, ready to sacrifice anything. That’s good. You were meant to have kids, Jess. Too bad your first one had to be with me.”
“As I said before, I don’t regret that.” She started to reach for the lamp switch and paused. Something had been nagging at her ever since the night before, and now she had to know. “Nat, why did you go to see my parents?”
He sighed. “Because I’m weak. Even though I’m the wrong guy for you, I keep thinking there must be a way for this to work, because I want you so much.”
There is, if you can let go of your fear, she thought, but she didn’t say anything. They were both tired, and this wasn’t the time to get into it.
“I tried calling your apartment before I got on the plane in London, to tell you I was coming home,” he continued. “When I found out the line was disconnected, I was determined to find you. I started with your parents.”
The thought that he’d gone looking for her warmed her considerably. Maybe all wasn’t lost. “And they agreed to see you just because you asked about me?” she asked. “That doesn’t sound like them.”
“They agreed to see me because I told them I wanted to talk about my foundation for helping the orphans in the refugee camps. I didn’t mention you until later.”
She propped herself up on one elbow to stare at him. “What foundation?”
Finally he turned his head to glance at her. “That was my main purpose in going over to that country, to see if I could set up some sort of program that would take care of the kids and find homes for them, either over there or over here.”
“I had no idea.”
“It’ll be terrific.” His tone grew more excited. “I have some great people lined up to administer it from that end, and I’ve used my own money to set things in motion, but this will be a huge project. Obviously I need more funding, but I think I can get—”
“I can’t believe this.” The injustice of it shot through her and she sat up in bed. “I vaguely remember you mentioned the idea of adopting an orphan at some time in the future, but I had no idea you were going to head up an entire operation.”
“I’m already doing it,” he said. “It’s desperately needed, and once we clear up this situation with the person who’s trying to kidnap you, I’m planning to give it my full attention.”
“Are you?” Anger seethed within her. “Not that I don’t think it’s a wonderful idea, Nat. It is. I’m sure you’ll be a hero. But how can you enthusiastically throw yourself into this program to save little children you don’t even know, when you won’t consider being a father to the one who belongs to you?”
His gaze was bleak. “You still don’t get it, do you? I’m helping those kids because it’s what I can do. I understand them, and because of that, I don’t expect much from them. I can’t relate to a little girl who’s never known anything but loving kindness, because I’d probably expect her to be perfect. Hell, I might even envy her, and because of that I wouldn’t cut her any slack.” He paused. “I would ruin her, Jess.”
She glared at him in frustration. “When you get an idea, you sure do clutch it to your breast forever, don’t you?”
His glance flicked over her. “I’ve been known to. Now cover up.”
She understood his implication and slid under the covers. “I’m too mad at you to make love, anyway,” she said.
“Now, there’s the difference between us,” he said, reaching up to shut off the light.
“What difference?” she said into the darkness, knowing full well she should keep her mouth shut.
“I can get so mad at you I could chew nails, but at the same time I want to strip you naked and go at it until we’re both moaning and soaked with sweat.”
She gulped as the vivid mental image rocked her with desire.
“Sweet dreams,” he murmured.
“Up yours,” she said under her breath.
“We can try it any way you’d like to, darlin’. I’m open to suggestion.”
With a groan, she turned her back to him. She would get no sleep tonight.
NAT DIDN’T EXPECT to sleep, considering that every rustle of the sheets in the other bed made him clench his jaw against a new wave of desire. When he closed his eyes he still saw her, sitting up so indignantly when she’d heard about his plans for the orphans. He’d thought she’d be pleased. He hadn’t figured out how it might look from her perspective, and she probably had some justification for being angry.
In fact, she had every reason to be upset with him. He wasn’t giving her what she needed and deserved, and yet he wanted…all of her. In his imagination he could still see the proud thrust of her breasts under the cotton nightshirt and the wild tangle of her red hair as she challenged his behavior.
She might not remember, but some of their best times in bed had come about after a heated argument. That spitfire quality of hers really turned him on, maybe because he liked the idea that she’d never allow herself to be dominated by anyone or anything. A tiny voice told him that where he was concerned, her demands might be his salvation. But he didn’t care to listen right now.
She’d come by her grit the hard way. After he’d met her father, he understood that she’d learned to be tough by having to go up against Russell P. Franklin. And maybe she was more like her father than she would like to think.
But she could be soft and vulnerable, too. Back in the days when they’d been together, he’d loved watching the transformation that took place as his lovemaking burned away her anger and left only molten passion surging between them.
Remembering, he lay in the dark and ached. If he’d hoped to get any sleep in this motel room, he’d probably wasted his money.
But finally exhaustion must have claimed him, because before he knew it, light was seeping around the edges of the closed drapes. Somewhere down the hall a vacuum cleaner whined. They needed to get back on the road.
He should just get out on the far side of the bed and go directly to the shower. Instead, he rolled to his side and lifted his head to glance over at Jessica, which was a definite mistake.
She was asleep, but she must have had a hell of time achieving that, because she was completely tangled in the covers. One smooth leg was revealed all the way up to the high-cut leg opening of her briefs. Irresistible.
Propping his cheek on his fist, Nat studied that bare leg way too long. He’d forgotten how much he loved her knees, which were small and finely shaped. He used to tease her about them, saying they were the most aristocratic part of her body.
And the backs of her knees were two of her most sensitive spots. Several times he’d driven her to the brink of orgasm simply by nibbling and licking those delicate creases.
He was punished for his reminiscences with a desperately rigid penis. If he knew what was good for him, he’d head for the shower now, before she woke up.
While he was still trying to gather the willpower to do that, she opened her eyes. The fiery belligerence that had lit those brown eyes the night before was gone. In its place was the soft acceptance of a woman wanting to be loved. He sucked in a breath, hesitating. Her pupils widened and her lips parted.
Heart pounding, he held her gaze as he started to get out of bed. But even before his foot made contact with the floor, he saw the change in her eyes as she became more aware of her surroundings. As memo
ry, no doubt, returned. The welcome faded, to be replaced with grim determination.
“No,” she whispered.
He groaned and flopped back onto the bed. “It was yes when you woke up, and don’t try to tell me different.”
“I can’t control my dreams.”
He looked over at her. “You were dreaming about me?”
She didn’t answer, but he knew by the expression on her face that she’d been dreaming about him, all right. Hot dreams. He knew all about those kinds of fantasies. They’d been his constant companion the entire time he was overseas.
He might still be able to force the issue and love her into submission, considering that she wasn’t that far removed from those potent dreams. Her mind might be trying to shut down her desire, but her body would be slower to obey. She’d still be moist and ready, and he could break down her defenses easily enough if he climbed into that bed with her and ignored her protests.
But that wasn’t his style. She’d told him to back off, and that’s what he intended to do, unless and until she changed her mind. “Guess I’ll hit the shower,” he said.
“Okay.”
Maybe his wounded ego was causing him to imagine things, but he could swear she sounded disappointed. Maybe she wanted him to override her objections. After all, she’d never said no to him before, so how the hell was he supposed to know if she meant it?
Damn, but she had him twisting in the wind. And if it was a game she was playing, he wanted to raise the stakes. He wanted her to twist a little, too. “And I’d appreciate some privacy while I’m in the shower,” he said.
“You don’t have to worry about that.” She sounded huffy.
He realized she didn’t get his implication, so he’d have to make his hint broader. “The thing is, a man can only stand so much before he has to find relief any way he can. I wouldn’t want you to come in and be embarrassed by what’s going on.”
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