by Tri Amutia
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please..."
"I never give you anything, except your ring. I wanted to give you something."
I sighed. "You don't have to buy me anything, Joshua. Just promise me you finished your degree, all right."
He stared at me deeply. "I will, Abby. I won't let you down."
I nodded and smiled.
He smiled back. "What else did your mom say?"
I narrowed my eyes and he chuckled. "She said hi to you and we almost had 'the talk'," I said to him and rolled my eyes.
He smirked. "Really?"
I scoffed. "I told her we never done that yet and she told me to be safe." I shook my head.
He nodded thoughtfully and then he looked at me. "Do you...ever think of having children?"
I blinked several times. "Um...I once dreaming of having a family...maybe...yes."
Joshua sighed and stroked my hair. "I've always imagined my children will have your eyes and your beautiful hair and maybe your smile too. They must be as beautiful as you."
I chuckled nervously. "Are you kidding? It's better if they had your hazel eyes and your hair."
He shook his head. "You still don't see yourself clearly, do you?"
I sighed and leaned back to his chest. My love for him flooded my mind and my body felt little warmer. "I hope I can make you happy," I murmured.
Joshua tensed a moment and grabbed my shoulder lightly so I was looking back at him. "Listen to me, Abigail Bennett. You're the only one who makes me happy. Never doubt that!"
I nodded and he kissed my forehead.
I glanced to the plasma TV and smirked. "Aren't we supposed to watch a DVD right now?"
He laughed and we settled back to our position. I leaned to his chest and smiled when the movie was started. I was looking forward for my weekend with Joshua Walsh.
Chapter 21
The Beach Trip: The Bonfire
Joshua woke me up the next day at 5.00 am. I didn't know how he could wake up so early. I guessed he was excited as I was for this trip or was it his usual habit when he has to do the early morning shift. I had a quick shower, brushed my teeth and then changed my clothes. While I checked my bag, Joshua did a quick laundry in the laundry room. This was the part when I felt we were really a good team. We understand each other even when we didn't have to say anything. I buzzed around our apartment for a final check. Joshua put our bags and our grocery bags on the trunk at 6.45. I raised my eyebrows when I saw him brought an acoustic guitar.
"A guitar? I never knew you had one."
He shrugged. "I asked my dad to ship it here."
"You can play a guitar? I thought you only play the piano."
"I can play few notes, not as good as in piano, but it's...nice enough."
I rolled my eyes. He was unbelievable.
After saying goodbye to Thomas, Jennifer and the landlord, we were driving from our apartment's garage to the airport. The weather was fine and honestly it had been a while since I went to the beach. Joshua listened to an alternative CD along the journey, probably to keep him sober while he was driving.
We boarded our plane and got ready for the long 8 hours flight. I felt like I was asleep the moment we both sat on our seat. We landed at Florida at 3 pm and Joshua rented a car to go to his family beach house. I fell asleep again when Joshua started the car’s engine. After some moments, he shook my shoulder gently.
"Abby? Dear? We're here," He whispered to me.
I sleepily opened my eyes and he kissed my forehead. "Come on. You can sleep inside."
I nodded and stretched my body. Joshua got out from the car and opened my door. I stepped out and finally I could see the beach house. My jaw dropped. It was really a wonderful beach house. The architecture reminded of Joshua's home back at Long Beach. The house was painted in white and had a modern style.
"Wow," I said breathless.
"My mom was the one who designed the house. You can see the similarity with my home at Long Beach," He said to me.
Figures!
I nodded slowly. "And you rarely spend your time here? I mean, is there someone who take cares of the house?"
He smiled. "My parents sometimes come here," He grimaced. "We hired a caretaker for the house. I told my parents that I'll come here this weekend and they called the caretaker to clean the house for us."
Well, that was amazing.
"Come on. I'll show you the inside," He said and took my hand. His other arm was carrying our bags.
We walked on the steps and Joshua opened the front door. The look in the inside was as breathtaking as the outside and I forgotten my being sleepy. Their living room was huge with a plasma TV, stereo set, bookshelves, fireplace and a couch. Joshua gave me a tour to the house. It has a lovely kitchen too with fancy kitchen appliances; no wonder he wanted us to cook for ourselves. The house has one bathroom and two bedrooms; no doubt it was Joshua's parents' room and his room. I didn't know where we were going to sleep yet, either in his room or just put a mattress in front of the plasma TV. I remembered Joshua brought some of his DVDs too.
"Make yourself comfortable. I'll go get the grocery bags."
I nodded slowly and he got out from the front door. I looked around the room and walked to the back door. The smell of sea and sand made me smile. I used to come to the beach when I stayed with my mom in Phoenix. I didn't know how much I missed it. The warm air and the wind made me closed my eyes. The sound of waves also calmed my mood. I forgot everything back in Seattle. This was just me and Joshua. And then I felt him kiss my temple and wrapped his arms around my waist. My back rested on his chest. I smiled and opened my eyes. The view was breathtaking and it really warmed my heart.
"It's beautiful," I whispered.
"Yes, but not as beautiful as you," He whispered back in my hair and I shivered.
I turned around to face him and he looked at me lovingly. I smiled and kissed him. He kissed me back automatically. It was full of longing, but not urgent. I broke my kiss and smiled to his lips. "Thank you for taking me here."
He chuckled. "Anything for you, dear."
And then I heard our stomach growl and we burst out laughing. It was already pass lunch and we hadn't had eaten yet.
"What's for lunch?" I asked him and biting my lip.
He grinned. "What do you say if we had PB & J? Besides it’s already afternoon."
I raised my eyebrows. I suddenly remembered we did buy bread and butter yesterday. I laughed lightly. "Sounds good to me."
He smiled. "We can take our nap after we had our lunch and see the sunset. When the day turns dark, we can build a bonfire and have dinner under the stars. How about that?"
I looked at him in amusement. "You already figured out everything, don't you?"
He put his hands on his chest, feigning hurt. "Who? Me?"
I rolled my eyes and playfully hit his shoulder.
He just laughed and grabbed my hand.
~O~
As I predicted, we both had fallen asleep in the living room. I was still exhausted from the long hours of work and so was Joshua. I woke up when I saw the orange color lit the room from the curtains. I was asleep with my head on his chest. I smiled when I saw he still in deep sleep. He must be so tired with work and also the long driving. The orange sky tempted me to go outside. I loosened Joshua's arm from my waist and got up to the front door. The weather was getting chilly, but it was not cold enough for me to put a jacket. I glanced to Joshua sleeping form and walked down to the steps.
Finally, I felt the sand on my feet and I forgot everything. I giggled and ran to the beach. I squealed happily when my feet touched the water. The wind blew softly in my hair and I raised both of my arms. From a moment, I enjoyed the sound of waves and the smell of sea. I exhaled and dropped back my arms to my body. The sun was already half from setting and it shone beautifully, like it was drown to the sea. Suddenly I remembered that Joshua also wanted to see the sunset. I decided to go back to the house and woke him up. I turned around and
stopped dead on my feet.
He was there sitting on the steps, looking at me. From his expression, I could tell he was already sitting there for a while. I blushed slightly. I heard him chuckled and he stood from the steps. He approached me while I was frozen on my feet. He hugged me and kissed my forehead.
I frowned. "How long have you been sitting there?"
He smirked. "Long enough to see you giggle and run to the beach."
I blushed harder and leaned my head to his chest. "I'm sorry for not waking you. I thought you need your sleep."
He pursed his lips. "There is a difference between a quality sleep and a quantity sleep."
"Huh?"
"A quantity sleep means you had enough sleep from the hours, but when you woke up, you still felt you hadn't enough sleep. And a quality sleep means you felt like you had already slept for hours even though it was not in the ideal hours for human to sleep."
I raised my eyebrows. "So, you were saying that you had your quality sleep?"
He chuckled and gave me a chaste kiss. "No, my dear. I had both."
I laughed lightly.
We stood there for a while and watched the sun really setting to the sea. Joshua kissed my hair. "Come on. I'll build the bonfire for both of us."
I nodded. "I'll cook dinner, then."
I took my shower while Joshua preparing the bonfire. Honestly, I didn't know why we had a bonfire. I prepared our dinner when Joshua used the bathroom. He finished when I started to put the meal on the plates. He appeared in the kitchen with two thick blankets. The weather in the beach could turn drastically. It could be warm in the day and the opposite in the night. We walked outside and I saw the bonfire near the steps.
"I didn't know you can build a bonfire. I thought your skill involved with helping people," I said to him after we sat in front of the bonfire with plates and glasses on our hands. The fire warmed our body in an instant. The weather was already turned several degrees colder.
He shrugged. "I was a boy scout once."
I smirked. "You were?"
He rolled his eyes. "Please, it's not a big deal. Everyone can build a bonfire."
I grimaced. "Definitely not me." Especially when I remembered how a total klutz I was.
He raised his eyebrows and laughed. I grinned and began eating my food. We ate in comfortable silence until both of our plates were empty. The chilly wind made me snuggled to the blanket Joshua brought to me. He frowned slightly and scooted closer to me.
"Do you need more blankets?"
I shook my head. "No, thank you. It's warm enough."
He nodded slowly and grinned. "How about we listen to a few songs from my guitar?"
My eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"
He took the guitar from the steps and sat back beside me. He wore a sweater and trousers tonight, the blanket just wrapped around his shoulder. The bonfire illuminated his hair to nearly gold color and made him more beautiful. The sight made my heart fluttered. He tested the guitar strings and I shivered. I've never seen him play a musical instrument before. I was wondering if he ever played like this in front of someone. Maybe...Natalia? I clenched my fist unconsciously and shook my head slightly. No! This is my trip with Joshua! I won't let my insecurities ruin it! But, the other side of me wanted to know if he ever played for someone.
I gulped. "Did you ever...play...for someone?"
His fingers froze on the guitar and he looked at me. "No. Never."
I smiled weakly. "Really?"
He sighed and held one of my hands. "Believe me, Abby. This is the first time I play my guitar in front of someone apart from my parents. I never wanted to share the other side of me to anyone but you."
My body felt warmer when he said that. My female ego boosted and in a swift movement, I kissed his cheek. "Thank you," I whispered.
He smiled slightly and cleared his throat. "So, how about Damien Rice first? You know The Blower's Daughter, don't you?"
I gaped at him. "You want me to sing?"
He grinned. "Of course."
I chuckled nervously. "My voice is terrible."
"Is that so? Who said that your voice is terrible? I'll gladly give the person some pointers," His eyes glinted mischievously.
I blinked several times. "Um...that would be me."
He chuckled. "Come on, Abby. What good is a bonfire if you don't sing? Nobody is going to hear you in this place."
I rolled my eyes. There was no use to argue with him anyway. "Fine!"
He grinned and began playing with his guitar. I almost gaped when I saw his fingers danced swiftly on the guitar's strings. He was good!
Joshua continued to play the song and sang the lyrics with his velvet voice; to the chorus and the bridge with some improvisation on his own. I sang the female's part and he smiled when he saw me singing. We ended the song with me clapping my hands while Joshua bowed his head playfully.
And then he cleared his throat. "This song is for you, Abby."
I sat still when I heard the familiar lyrics of the song.
If you're not the one than why does my soul feel glad today?
I shivered. I knew the song. It was Daniel Bedingfield's If You're Not The One. It was a romantic song and I instantly knew why Joshua sang this song for me. The song told how a man felt for his loved one and I shivered when I realized that. Joshua looked at me deeply when he sang the song. He didn't even look at the guitar. He probably knew this song from his heart. I almost burst into tears, but I tried very hard not to cry. It was a beautiful song and I didn't want to ruin it.
I didn't say anything when the song ended. The sound of cracking woods from the bonfire filled the night. Joshua himself seemed lost in his own world and I smiled tenderly. "Thank you for the song," I said slowly.
He blinked several times and smiled back. "You're welcome, Abby."
I laughed lightly and Joshua began to play another song. Savage Garden's I Knew I Loved You was next. I sang along with him because I loved the song too. We sang some songs after that; from The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' Your Guardian Angel, Howie Day's Collide, Boyzone's Every day I Love You and No Matter What, to Lenka's Trouble. Sometimes we laughed at each other when we failed to reach the right tune or when we forgot the lyrics.
The woods from the bonfire were getting thinner and now I leaned my head to his shoulder while Joshua played random notes on his guitar.
"It's so peaceful here," I said in low voice.
I felt him nod. "Yes, it's a great place for staying out from work. I was 15 the last time I came here. It's been a while for me."
I leaned away from his shoulder and looked at him. "That was nine years ago."
He nodded. He was still staring at the sea while his fingers playing on the guitar. "It was before I moved back to Long Beach. I just finished Junior High and I asked my dad to come here. Some part of me wanted to see the beach." He sighed sadly. "I've always imagined you were here with me at that time. I know how much you love beaches, especially the sun. I was prepared myself to get close to you again, but...well; you know the rest of the story."
I frowned slightly. I knew what he wanted to say. Our high school time was not a good memory for both of us and sometimes I couldn't believe I could fall in love with a man who I hated so much when I was in high school.
"Do you ever think that...we still had a chance if we had a normal situation back in high school?"
Joshua took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm sure of that. I had a dream once that we were attending college together after I proposed to you again."
I stiffened.
Joshua put the guitar down and took both of my hands to his. He stared deep into my eyes. "Abby..." He sighed and played with the ring in my finger. "I love you. I really want you to be my wife and spend the rest of my life with you. I know we still have to work for our relationship, but I'm sure we can do this. I won't rush you to the altar if you still want to prove yourself at your work. I also need to settle with my pediatric degree."
He paused and c
huckled.
"I do hope we already get married when I started my degree, but I won't push you. It's all your choice, Abby." He looked at me again.
"I know you love me."
My heart sped up and I blushed immediately.
He caressed my crimson cheek. "You said that in your sleep. Do you remember when you went home late and I was worried?"
I blinked several times and nodded slowly. I remembered that night, before the event in the bookstore.
He sighed and smiled dreamily. "You were restless that night. I was so worried when you mentioned that your work was very stressful. I lay down beside you and held you. You began to relax and slept peacefully. And then, I heard you call my name."
I gasped.
"I thought you were awake, but you looked asleep and I instantly knew you began to sleep talk. After you called my name, you said something that nearly made my heart stopped."
My jaw almost dropped. Did I...say that I...love him?
"You said that you love me."
I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I opened it again and stared at my lap. Maybe I was in love with him all along, but my conscious part didn't realize that. I realized that I loved him after that faithful lunch with Ryan.
"I was happy, but also sad. Happy because it was the deepest feeling from you about me, but I was also sad because I knew you won't realize that when you were awake."
Suddenly, a memory flashed in my mind.
*Flashback*
He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "You fell asleep on the couch and I carried you to your bed. You were restless last night, so I thought I just held you for comfort. Well, you did sleep peacefully then."
I gulped. That was not the thing that frightened me. "Did...I say something...in my sleep?"
Joshua looked thoughtful. "A few." He looked over to the ceiling and sighed. "You said about the working environment is hectic and stressful."
He paused and I waited for him to continue. When he didn't say anything, I was starting to panic. "Anything else?"
He pursed his lips and looked at me. "No. Nothing," He smiled.
*End of Flashback*
"Oh, God!" I said under my breath. I realized it now; the meaning behind his knowing smile. I didn't know how to react this time. Should I run inside because of embarrassment or laugh at myself?