by Teri Wilson
But now that her mother had finally talked some sense into her father, Finn just up and walked away. There’d been no declaration of love, no promise of a future together. He’d spoken about their marriage as if it was precisely what she’d set out for it to be.
A business transaction.
And then he’d left her alone to think things through. God, it was humiliating. Avery didn’t need to think, and she sure as heck didn’t feel like being alone. She wanted Finn, damn it. Couldn’t he see that? She was in love with him. She’d been in love with him all along, which was precisely why she’d been acting so crazy—kissing him one minute and running away the next. Even marrying him when they hardly knew each other.
Her behavior had nothing to do with pregnancy hormones. She was head over heels, crazy in love with her husband.
And he’d just walked right out the door.
She’d never felt so alone in her life, not even when her father had so coldly informed her that she’d been disinherited. She pressed a hand to her baby bump, desperate for a reminder that she wasn’t completely on her own. She still had her daughter, and she always would.
And she could still have Finn, too. He’d made it perfectly clear that the decision was up to her. But was there really a decision to make if he didn’t love her? How could she have been stupid enough to believe that exchanging sacred vows could ever be anything remotely similar to a business deal?
“Avery?” Her mom walked tentatively into the entryway and looked around. “Where’s Finn?”
“He’s...” He’s gone. Avery shook her head. She couldn’t say it. If she did, she’d break and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be whole again.
“Oh, honey.” Her mom wrapped her arms around Avery and hugged her tight. “Don’t cry. Everything is going to be okay.”
But it wasn’t. There’d been no grand gesture, just a quiet goodbye, and now great heaving sobs were racking Avery’s body. It was as if she’d been suppressing her real feelings for so long—since that fateful night in Oklahoma City—that she simply couldn’t do it any longer. She was feeling everything at once. Joy and pain. Hope and fear. Love and loss.
So much loss that it nearly dragged her to her knees.
Her mother smoothed her hair back from her eyes, then cupped Avery’s face in her hands. “Do you love him, sweetheart?”
She nodded as tears kept streaming down her face.
Her mom smiled as if she’d known as much all along. “Then it seems as though you have an important decision to make. Don’t worry about your father. I’ll handle him. You just do what you need to do.”
Avery trembled all over.
Do what you need to do.
She took a ragged inhale as a terrible realization dawned—what she wanted to do and what she needed to do were two entirely different things.
* * *
The log mansion at the Ambling A was as quiet as a tomb when Finn walked through the door at three in the morning. He was immensely grateful for Maximilian’s access to a private plane, just as he’d been the day before when he was in such a hurry to get to Dallas.
But at the moment, he was even more grateful for the fact that all of his family members were in bed and he wouldn’t have to see their disappointed expressions when he walked back through the door without his wife. The only thing that might have made him feel worse was the more likely possibility that they wouldn’t have been surprised at all, that they’d have chalked up his short-lived marriage to Finn just being Finn. He never could commit to anyone or anything. Why should Avery be any different?
But she was different, damn it. She’d always been special. She was the one. She always had been, right from the start.
The baby mattered, obviously. Finn would lay down his life for his child, but Avery mattered just as much. He’d only fully realized how much she meant to him after she’d left him. And now...
Now it was too late. She was back in Dallas, back in the loving arms of her family. Finn had his own opinions about what sort of father would ever turn his back on his pregnant adult daughter, but at least Oscar Ellington had done the right thing in the end.
If anyone understood the importance of family, it was Finn. As maddening as Maximilian could be, he’d been the one to raise six boys all on his own after his wife had walked out and left him. There was no denying Finn’s father was a difficult man, and there was plenty of blame on both sides where his parents’ divorce was concerned, but Maximilian had always been there for his sons. Always would be. Which was why Finn had tolerated his meddling into his sons’ love lives as best as he could.
It was also why he’d done an about-face and hadn’t insisted Avery return to the Ambling A with him. He couldn’t make that choice for her. The last thing he wanted was to come between her and her family yet again. If they had any hope of remaining together, she’d have to make that decision on her own. He didn’t want to be the kind of husband and father she’d grown up with. As much as he loved Avery, as much as he wanted her, he refused to bully her back into his home...into his life.
In a way, he’d already strong-armed her into marrying him. Witnessing the effect Oscar’s controlling behavior had on the people he loved most in the world had been a wake-up call. Finn loved Maximilian, but he didn’t want to grow old and become his father any more than he wanted to become Oscar Ellington. He wanted Avery to come back to him on her own terms, no one else’s.
He wanted her to choose him.
She would. She had to. They were meant to be together. Finn knew that as surely as he knew the sun would rise over Montana the next morning, filling Big Sky country with endless rays of hope and light.
Finn needed just a hint of that kind of hope right now. Desperately. Somewhere between Texas and Montana, a bone-deep weariness had come over him. He was too tired to think, too tired to hope, too tired to dream.
He just wanted Avery back in his arms and back in his bed. Until that happened, he was lost. He collapsed fully clothed onto his bed and closed his eyes against a darkness so deep that he felt like he was choking on it. And when sleep finally came, he dreamed of his daughter. He dreamed of Avery and the life the three of them could have together—a life filled with love and joy and as many children and baby goats as Avery wanted. He’d give her anything and everything.
But when he woke up, she wasn’t there. Of course she wasn’t. It was silly to think she’d chase him back to Montana the moment after he’d left her daddy’s mansion. She needed time. Of course she did. But she’d come back—she had to come back. Finn went about his day on autopilot, doing his best to simply get through the hours until Avery returned without breaking down.
For once in his life, Maximilian held his tongue. He must have sensed Finn’s need for silence on the matter of his missing wife, because when he strolled into the kitchen to find Finn staring blankly out the big picture window at Pumpkin romping and playing in her new pen, he simply rested a single arm around his shoulder in a tentative one-armed man hug. The unprecedented tenderness of the father-and-son moment caused a lump to lodge firmly in Finn’s throat. He nodded, then strode outside to feed the goat to keep the dam of emotions welled up inside him from breaking.
The day wore on, and he busied himself with the daily comfort of ranch work—mending fences, tending to cattle, filling the stalls in the barn with fresh water and hay. His brothers and the ranch hands steered clear, leaving him space and time to brood. In his solitude, Finn worked harder than he had in years, because that’s what true cowboys did. They did what needed to be done, no matter what. When they made a promise, they kept it.
He brushed a few stray flakes of hay from his black T-shirt as the air in the barn shifted from soft pink light to the purple shadows of twilight. His back ached, and so did his heart. The day was done, the horses were locked up for the night and the cattle fed, but still there was no sign whatsoever of Avery.
/> Finn pulled his Stetson low over his eyes and pressed his fist into his lower back, seeking relief. Then, for the first time all day, he allowed himself to consider the possibility that he’d been wrong, that maybe Avery wasn’t coming back to the Ambling A. Not today...not ever.
His throat grew thick again, and just like this morning when Maximilian had given him the closest thing to a true embrace they’d ever shared, he felt as if he was on the verge of tears for the first time in his adult life. But then he heard something that gave him pause—an excited little bleat coming from the direction of Pumpkin’s pen. Finn’s heart stuttered to a stop.
It was silly, really. Baby kids got excited about anything and everything. Just because Pumpkin was suddenly making a ruckus didn’t mean the goat’s—and Finn’s—favorite person in the world had suddenly reappeared.
But hope welled up in his chest nonetheless. And when he bolted out the barn door and saw Avery’s familiar silhouette framed by a perfect autumn sunset, he nearly fell to his knees in relief.
“Avery,” he said, his voice rusty and raw. “Thank God.”
He held out his arms, but instead of running toward him, Avery slowed to a stop and gave him a watery smile. It was the saddest, most lonely smile he’d ever seen, and that’s when Finn knew. He knew it with every desperate beat of his battered heart.
His wife had come home to say goodbye.
* * *
The relief in Finn’s weary face nearly shattered Avery’s resolve.
Clearly he was happy to see her. Elated, even after she’d spent the duration of her travel day—two flights, one three-hour layover and the winding drive to Rust Creek Falls from Billings—convincing herself that she was doing the right thing. The only thing. As hard as walking away from Finn would be, it wouldn’t be as torturous as building a life with a man who didn’t love her, constantly waiting for the shoe to drop and everything she held most dear to crumble to the ground.
She was sure she couldn’t do that to herself, and she was positive she couldn’t do it to her baby. Better to develop some sort of reasonable, platonic co-parenting arrangement now than end up having to try to find her way once Finn remembered he’d never had any interest in marriage in the first place...to anyone, least of all her.
But she couldn’t tell Finn what she needed to say over the phone. He’d been by her side since the moment she’d told him she was pregnant, which was more than she could say for her own flesh and blood. In the end, she’d been the one to run, not him. So he deserved to hear the news face-to-face.
First, though...
She sent a gentle smile to the baby goat bleating excitedly and butting her furry head against the hay bale in the center of her pen. “What is Pumpkin doing here?”
Finn removed his Stetson, raked a hand through his hair and replaced it. Avery tried, and failed, not to stare at the flex of his biceps as he did so. “You said you missed her, so when I went looking for you at the boarding house, I asked Melba and Old Gene if I could bring her to the Ambling A.”
Oh. Wow. He’d gone looking for her at the boarding house? “I’m guessing Melba was delighted with that arrangement.”
Finn nodded. “She said something about Pumpkin belonging to you already.”
Once you name an animal, it’s yours.
Avery could hear Melba’s voice in her head as clearly as if she were standing right beside her.
How was she going to do this? She loved life in Rust Creek Falls. She loved everything about it.
“I think we should get an annulment,” she said without any sort of prelude. If she didn’t say it now, she never would. “Or if we don’t qualify for one of those, then a divorce.”
The D word. She barely forced it out. Her voice cracked midway through, turning it into three or four syllables instead of two.
Finn said nothing.
He just stood there staring at her as if she’d kicked him in the stomach. Behind him, the mountains shimmered in shades of red and gold. Never in her life had she thought complete and utter heartbreak could be surrounded by so much beauty.
She cleared her throat and forced herself to finish the speech she’d been mentally rehearsing for hours. “This is all my fault. I take full responsibility. I should have told you about the baby from the very beginning, and I never should have suggested our marriage be one of convenience.”
It seemed so absurd now. How could she have ever thought a fake marriage was a good idea when, all along, her feelings for Finn had been heart-stoppingly real?
“It was just...” she continued while nearby, Pumpkin bounced on and off a bale of hay. It was just the worst mistake I’ve ever made. Avery swallowed hard. “It was wrong.”
The set of Finn’s jaw hardened. His soft brown eyes—eyes that usually danced with laughter and Finn’s trademark devilish charm—darkened to black. “Wrong? That’s the word you’d use to describe our marriage?”
Avery shook her head. This wasn’t going at all how she’d planned. “Please, Finn. You know what I mean.”
She was referring to the agreement they’d made not to become intimate, and he knew it. But neither of them could seem to acknowledge it out loud, probably because that arrangement had been nothing short of impossible. She’d fallen into bed with Finn almost instantaneously, and despite all the hurt feelings swirling between them, she still wanted him. She craved the weight of his body on top of hers, the velvety warmth of his skin, his searing kiss. She always would.
“I appreciate everything you were willing to do for me—” she paused for a breath, then forced the rest of the words out “—for the baby. But I should have never agreed to rely on you for money, no matter the circumstances. That’s all sorted out now, and I’m not going to hold you to an agreement we never should have made in the first place.”
There, it was done. Almost.
Finn deserved to know the whole truth before she walked away for good. “What the baby and I both need isn’t money or security. It’s love. Real love. And I can’t let myself settle for a knockoff.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” Finn’s voice boomed louder than Avery had ever heard it before. It even startled poor Pumpkin into inactivity. She let out a mournful bleat. “Are you crazy? Of course I love you. Why would you think otherwise?”
Avery opened her mouth to yell right back at him, and then blinked, trying to wrap her mind around what he’d just said.
Surely she’d heard him wrong.
“But you...” She shook her head, and hot tears filled her eyes.
He couldn’t be serious, but Avery didn’t think he’d toy with her emotions. Not at a time like this. Finn had never once told her he loved her, though. How was she supposed to know?
“I love you, Avery! I fell in love with you the first night we were together back in Oklahoma!” He yelled it so loud that there was no way she could misunderstand. The entire population of Rust Creek Falls probably knew Finn Crawford loved her now.
Avery didn’t know how to process it, though. It was too much, more than her fragile heart could handle after all she’d been through in recent weeks.
She burst into tears.
“Don’t cry, love,” Finn said, closing the distance between them and taking her into his arms. “I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just that I’ve been tied up in knots, worried you weren’t coming back.”
He pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head as she buried her face in his shoulder. He smelled like hay and horses, farm and family...like all the things she’d come to love so much about life here in this wild, beautiful place.
“I love you,” he said, gently this time. Like a whisper.
Avery closed her eyes, wanting to believe, but needing to be sure. What if this was still just about the baby?
She shook her head against the soft fabric of his T-shirt, fighting as hard as she could. But fa
lling for Finn Crawford had always been as easy and sweet as falling onto a feather bed.
“You love me, or the baby?” she managed to murmur, even as she felt her heart beating hard in perfect harmony against his.
Finn pulled away slightly, took her face in his hands and forced her to meet his gaze. “I love both of you, Princess. I’ll admit it threw me when you told me you were pregnant, and I definitely could have handled the news better. Our relationship hasn’t exactly been traditional.”
He sighed, and the corner of his mouth tugged into a familiar half smile.
Had Rust Creek Falls’ most notoriously single Crawford just used the word relationship?
“But, darlin’, there was always a part of me that connected with you right from the start. Didn’t you feel it, too, Princess?” His gaze dropped to her mouth as the pad of his thumb brushed a tender trail along her bottom lip. “Don’t you feel it now?”
Then her husband dipped his head and kissed her as the sun fell on another autumnal day in Montana, and while the horses whinnied in the barn and the trees on the horizon blazed ruby red, the last bit of Avery’s resistance faded away.
She felt it, too—with every breath, every kiss, every captivated beat of her heart. She felt it.
This kiss, this place...this man she loved so much. Finn Crawford wasn’t just the father of her baby. He was her home, and at long last, Avery Ellington Crawford was home to stay.
Epilogue
Hours later, Avery lay in Finn’s bed, naked and sated. Once again, he’d scooped her off her feet and carried her upstairs, where he’d made love to her in the same bed where she’d somehow managed to convince herself that he didn’t love her.
How could she have been so wrong?
The question nagged at her in the afterglow. Finn had told her why he’d been going on so many dates. He’d even admitted he hadn’t slept with anyone since their night together in Oklahoma. How had she taken the beautiful moment when he’d kissed her belly and whispered mine as something else—something frightening and lonely? Something to run away from.