by J. L. White
“Some people feel safer regretting and not trying and they’re okay going on with the status quo,” he continued. “So if that’s you, then there’s nothing you need to change. But,” he said, leaning in and holding my eyes, “I suspect that’s not you. Is it?”
I blinked at him.
That was the very moment something inside me started to tip. I could feel it building in me. I was just sitting there on his couch, doing not a single thing to accomplish my dream other than feeling myself accelerate toward a decision. A decision I knew could take me on a completely different path than the one I was currently on.
I looked toward the windows and saw the sky was no longer black. It was a dark blue, that precursor to dawn.
It settled in me then, the genuine belief that I could do this, if I really wanted to.
From that moment to the moment I actually did choose, was maybe five seconds.
Isn’t it funny how just five seconds can change our lives completely?
Kind of the way one night can.
Sitting there on his couch, my insides were barreling ahead toward something new and for the first time I wasn’t trying to stop it at all.
I wanted it. Why couldn’t I go for it? What did I have to lose, really? It wasn’t like I was going to end up homeless or something. The only thing I had to lose was my pride, and I’ve lost that before, over things that were far less important.
My eyes sharpened on his. “I’d need a domain,” I said.
He grinned.
“If it’s available,” I added, slowly grinning myself.
“I have my laptop.”
I smiled broadly and we hopped up together. I kept the blanket around my shoulders and followed his cute little naked ass across the living room and down the hall to his den. He sat at his desk and took me in his arms as I sat on his lap, cocooned in the blanket.
Once he got his laptop started up, we did some domain searching. My first several ideas were taken already. We spent half an hour brainstorming different ideas until we finally found a domain that was available and I bought it right on the spot, complete with WordPress hosting.
When I clicked “Buy” and watched the confirmation come through, I sat there on his lap, grinning at the screen. I was really going to do this.
I turned and looked at him and we smiled at each other. God, such a handsome, amazing man, this Grayson Piers.
“No turning back now,” he said, winking at me.
I took his face in both my hands and planted an enthusiastic kiss on his lips.
“Mmm,” he said when I pulled away, his eyebrows raised and his arms wrapping more firmly around that. “I like that. I wonder what you’ll do to me after you pick out a blog template.”
“Let’s don’t wait to find out,” I said, kissing him again, feeling him growing against me. I was ready too. Again.
We’d cleaned him out of condoms, but since I was on birth control, we’d had a session ‘in the raw.’ I was ready for more.
Our kiss deepened and his strong arms supported me as I rearranged so I was straddling him. The blanket was in the way, but as he kissed me, he pulled the blanket up until I was exposed. I was open and ready for him, and felt his firm cock nearby, but he didn’t enter me yet. Still under the blanket, his hands massaged my back and hips, working down and massaging my ass. Our tongues eagerly tasted each other. I ran my hands down his firm chest and to his hard nipples. I pinched them gently between my fingers and felt his cock bob against me in response.
His mouth broke away from mine and he moved to my neck. He sucked gently just below my earlobe. Working his way down my neck, he took my skin into his wet mouth and lit me up all over. I pressed my bare breasts against his chest, arching my head back as he came to the crook of my neck. He sucked harder then, and I let out a shaky breath. My hands gripped his broad shoulders.
The lips of my sex were spread open and pulsing. I kept adjusting my hips slightly, seeking him, longing for touch. The tip of his cock was pressed against my inner thigh, just next to me, but he was purposely not coming inside me yet, teasing me.
I liked it. It made me want him even more.
He bent down toward my breasts and I leaned back to give him access. He cupped one breast with one hand, bringing it up to his mouth and sucking eagerly. I started to go limp with delight and would have sunk back. His hand on my back supported me and kept me close.
He got my other breast aching, then finally swung over to it. I moved it toward him so he’d get to it sooner. He took my hard nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, running his tongue around it in circles. By this time his cock was bobbing against me, against my outer lips, against my clit, against my opening, and away again. Every time I’d angle toward him, he’d pull just slightly away.
“Come on,” I whispered, almost commanded.
“Whatever do you want,” he asked quietly. I looked down to see him still attached to my breast, but his lips were curled into a mischievous grin.
“Brat,” I said, just as he put both hands on my back, pulled me hard to his mouth and sucked firmly. I exhaled sharply.
“What do you want?” he murmured as he moved back to my other breast. His hands moved down to my ass, spreading me open slightly. His cock lighted on my clit then was gone.
“You,” I said.
“Hmm?” he teased. “What?”
I firmly took his face between my hands, gave him a hard kiss, and said, “Get that cock inside me right now.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said grinning. He reached between us, took hold of his cock, and aimed. He was dead center. Pressing my hips down with his free hand, he slid straight into my wet channel. I was so tight I felt every ridge of his rock-hard shaft as he entered me. I sighed with relief at having him fill me at last and he groaned, dropping his forehead onto my shoulder.
Taking my hips in both hands, he gripped me firmly, helping me ride him. God, he felt so good I didn’t ever want it to stop. I wanted to feel him inside me and feel his arms around me and taste the skin on his neck and shoulders for the rest of time.
He grabbed the blanket, sliding it off my body and letting it fall to the floor. I was too hot to need it anymore. He sucked on my neck and thrust deep inside me. I don’t how I still had it within me, but I was so wet I’d soaked him and could hear the sounds of him driving into me.
“Make it last,” I whispered, sucking his jaw then coming up to his mouth.
He kissed me fiercely as we opened wide to each other. He rubbed against me faster, bringing me higher. I moaned and worked against him, my whole body tingling. I was so close to the edge I thought I was about to go over.
He pulled out of me suddenly and I gasped.
He gave me a quick, impassioned kiss then looked at me with those smoldering blue eyes and said, “Get on the floor.”
I lifted myself off his lap and got to my feet. He backed his chair away slightly and we moved to the open floor behind us. As we got down to our knees, he took me by the shoulders and turned me gently, so I was on all fours, facing away from him. I arched my pelvis up, opening to him.
He came behind me and placed one hand flat on the small of my back as he guided his cock into me. Pleasure washed over me and my arms bent slightly, my head falling down. He rocked me deeply and slowly at first, then escalated faster and faster. I arched back against him, wanting even more pressure. He grabbed my shoulders and hammered into me hard.
“Yes!” I gasped.
He wasn’t even touching my throbbing clit but the pleasure was so hard and intense inside me I felt nearly ready to go over. He rammed into me again and again, gripping my shoulder with one hand and squeezing my tit with the other. He stretched me even further as his cock strained more. He felt close too.
“Not yet,” I panted. “Not yet.”
He gave me a few more thrusts, damn near sending me into heaven, then he released me and pulled out. I slowly collapsed onto my side, curling inward. I pressed my legs together to put mild pressure on my throbbing s
ex.
Panting, I rolled onto my back and looked at him. He was on his knees but sank back onto his heels. He was breathing heavily, his eyes smoldering and devouring me. His cock was bulging, nearly flat against his stomach, ready for me. I spread my legs, inviting him.
He came down on his hands, his muscles flexing as he got into position above me.
Our eyes locked for a moment. I couldn’t believe how I wanted this man more and more. Not just his cock and his fucking sexy body, but him. I reached up and took his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. He sank onto me, his hand curling up into my hair as he kissed me back. Our bodies damp with sweat, he entered me again. I moaned in his mouth, still kissing him, grabbing the back of his hair. He rocked me firmly, and this time I didn’t want him to stop.
Our mouths broke apart and we held each other’s gaze as he continued to slide his hard cock in and out of me. I was building again, my chest flushing hot. As the pleasure ballooned in my body, my eyes closed helplessly.
“Look at me,” he whispered.
I opened my eyes and saw him watching me, eagerly, tenderly.
He thrust into me again and the pleasure in my body and my cunt spiked higher. Overcome, I closed my eyes again.
“Look at me,” he whispered again.
His cock was straining harder against me and I gripped him firmly. The pleasure in my body climbed sharply. I opened my eyes and locked onto his. He was close, panting hard, his face reflecting the rising power between us.
He thrust into me harder and I opened my mouth in raw desire but kept my eyes on his. Straining hard against one another, his shaft took me and filled me completely. He came into me so deeply, each thrust landed with a burst of pleasure on my clit. We held each other’s eyes and I watched his face as he climbed toward release. I let him watch me too, filled as I was with ecstasy.
I unbent my knees, open to him completely, arching myself toward him as he thrust into me again and again. Each thrust promised impending release and yet I rose higher. He grew harder. His face reflected unguarded desire and pleasure. My whole body felt hot and ready to burst and I thought I was literally going mad with pleasure and still he drove into me. I cried out once, twice, straining every time his hard cock slammed into me.
His movements grew suddenly frantic and he said, “Oh Chloe,” and his eyes pinched shut. Just as his hot semen filled me I exploded into a climax that had me thrashing and crying out. He cried out too and released his full weight on me, grinding into me. My legs trembled as my orgasm tore through me, spiking hard against his cock. I clawed at his back helplessly, coming completely undone.
It seemed to go on forever, the pleasure bursting through me again and again. At last I came down in slow, powerful waves that left my heart pounding fiercely and me gasping for breath. Still full with him, my pussy tightened around him with each wave of pleasure, then relaxed slightly before tightening again.
When at last it was over and we were weakly holding each other, panting into each other’s necks, I was the first to speak.
“Holy god,” I whispered.
He sank further against my neck then, wrapping me up firmly in his arms, and squeezed me like he couldn’t get enough.
The phrase, “I love you,” came suddenly to mind and I realized it would have felt as natural to say it as it would’ve been to hear it.
He came up slightly so he could look me in the eyes.
His eyes seemed to say what I was thinking. Perhaps mine did too.
He kissed me then, deeply and intimately. I kissed him in return, holding back nothing.
When he pulled away, he stayed close. He rolled onto his side, bringing me with him. I settled against his chest, still panting slightly. The sky out the window was getting lighter. The sun would be breaking the horizon soon.
It had felt so peaceful and promising. In that moment.
If only we could’ve stayed in that moment longer... long enough for my heart to be ready for him.
A breeze sweeps through the patio of the restaurant, rustling the palm trees and bringing the scent of the ocean. We’ve polished off the bruschetta and the calamari, but we’re still nursing our drinks. “Okay, so go over the itinerary with us,” Ashley says to Isabella. “I’m confused about tomorrow.”
“Well tomorrow a lot of people are still arriving, so we thought it’d be fun to have one day where people could choose their activity. There’s so much to do here. So there’s a charter van going down to the beach and we’ll provide surfboards and boogie boards and stuff for whoever wants to do that. There’s wind surfing there too. Or people can just hang on the beach.”
Sam raises her hand, “That’s so what I would’ve done.”
“Or there’s the zip lining thing,” Isabella says.
“I’m so excited about that!” I say.
Sam gapes at me. “You’re going on it?”
I nod eagerly.
“On purpose?”
“It’ll be fun. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
“Look at you getting all bold,” Ashley says with a grin. “First it’s taking off to Boise, then it’s the blogging thing, now it’s zip lining. What will we see next from you?”
I smile at her. I have felt bolder lately. Since moving to Boise, I’ve taken myself out to dinner (a lot) and gone to movies all by myself and I don’t feel weird about it at all. It’s actually pretty fun. I’m not anti-social or anything; I’ve made a few work friends and we’ve gotten together a few times, too. But I’ve never been one to do something completely by myself. Not like I have been recently. It’s a nice feeling, like I’ve finally grown into my own skin.
It’s something I wish I could thank Grayson for. It’s sometimes strange to me that in my quest to make sure I don’t need a man, it was a man who gave me that shot of courage I needed. But he did.
I’ve wondered what my life would’ve been like if I’d been with a man like Grayson from the beginning instead of a man like Brad. But then again, maybe Brad was what I needed at the time. I’d spent so many years being the responsible one, Brad’s inclination to be practical used to be an attraction. He was more responsible than a lot of kids my age. But those responsibilities I’d felt in life were placed on my shoulders too young, and they’d changed me. In some ways for the better. In some ways not. I’ve only recently rediscovered the more impulsive side of me. I’d forgotten about her.
In some ways, I have Grayson to thank for helping me get to know her again.
I still remember the way his eyes held mine as he encouraged me to lay plans. To be bold. Fearless.
The Night of Grayson wasn’t really about any one moment. It was the sum total of every moment. It wasn’t just the hottest sex I’d ever had. It was the fact that I’d never felt so physically open to a man before. It wasn’t just that we talked more intimately and deeply than anyone should with a stranger, it was the fact that he didn’t feel like a stranger. He felt like mine and I felt like his.
It was magical. It really was.
Which made what happened next all the more devastating.
Chapter 7
The Morning After the Night of Grayson
We’d been laying on the floor of his office on a little nest of blankets. Neither one of us had on a stitch of clothing, which had more or less been the case since we’d first taken them off. Nearly an hour had passed since the last time we had sex, and even though I was raw from so many encounters in such a short span of time, I knew I could get going again if I really wanted to.
He lay propped up on one elbow, his face close to mine, our legs entwined together. We were doing that lovers’ dance I’d read about but never experienced.
We didn’t say a word as our fingertips ran over cheekbones, shoulders, arms, chests. It wasn’t sexual. It was tender, and we were doing more than exploring each other’s bodies. I think I’d already sampled every bit of him by then anyway. We were knowing each other. Claiming each other.
At one point our e
yes locked and our movements stopped. Our gaze went so deep, I almost felt we were entering each other somehow. Then he took my face in both of his hands and kissed me so tenderly I felt I was falling. He parted his lips and I responded by opening mine. His tongue touched mine and he rolled on top of me, embracing me in his arms. I both felt as if we were falling together and as if he’d caught me. If there’d been any part of me that had been resisting Grayson, it was gone in that moment.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and he stroked his hand down my side as we kissed deeply. I felt his hardness against my thigh. The heat between my legs was instant, and only gave flight to everything else. In his arms, with his firm weight on top of me, my entire body was soaring. I opened myself to him and he entered me with one stroke. Like one long exhale.
We held each other tightly and made love, kissing and caressing and nuzzling each other as he rocked me. As our intensity grew, my feelings for him grew too. My chest feel like it was going to burst. I rose myself to meet him and opened more and more to him and felt every inch of his shaft rubbing in and out of me. I honestly couldn’t tell where my body ended and his began. We seemed to merge together and become one unit. The sensation startled and amazed me.
His thrusts grew more urgent and he held me more fiercely. He whispered my name in my ear. “Chloe.”
He said it like a term of endearment.
“Grayson,” I whispered.
“Chloe.” His hot breaths warmed my neck and we moved together faster. “I want this forever,” he said, and I burned for him both body and soul. “I want you.”
I want you too.
I clung to him and he held me in his strong arms as we swayed together, his hard cock stroking every inch of me until I caught fire. As my heart melted, hot pleasure rose in me. Higher and higher. Higher than I’d ever been and I almost couldn’t take it. He said my name once more and we cried out together as we exploded into a joint orgasm. His hard cock pulsed against me as the pleasure overtook me. As he pounded me, I contracted around his cock and my climax stretched out in wave after wave. I cried out again and arched back violently, completely consumed. White pinpricks of light danced on the edge of my vision. At last the waves began to retreat and I clutched him as the power of my orgasm began to relent. He was still stroking me, softly and slowly, drawing the remaining bits of pleasure out of my body.