“All that?” Gigi studied Mallory’s face. Sometimes she forgot how pretty she was with her long blonde, curly hair and deep blue eyes. Gigi had been in love with Mallory since they were ten and they’d met in Brownies. Unfortunately, she’d never had the courage to do anything about it . . . except sleeping with her girlfriend. Sometimes she could convince herself that she’d done it to be closer to Mallory, but that didn’t explain why she loved Caroline. It was an endless source of confusion. Still, it felt good to have Mallory around.
“If you want to stay out of trouble.”
“This seems like a lot of work. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.”
“That’s what always gets you in trouble, remember?”
“Yes.”
“Now, can we play? And for shit’s sake keep your eye on the ball.”
“Have you told Del yet?”
“No,” Mallory said, getting ready to serve.
“Ah-hah!”
“I plan on telling her. I didn’t want to bother her about it unless I decided that we were going to keep on playing together.”
“Can we be friends again?” Gigi asked, her eyes getting misty.
“Only if you promise to behave yourself and never, ever lie to me again. Do you realize how much of my life I wasted pining over Caroline when if you had only told me that she loved you and not me I could have moved on. Not to mention the therapy bills.”
“I think the therapy did you good.” Mallory served the ball hard again.
“I promise to be good. Besides, you never would have met Del.” Gigi completely missed the ball.
“And you have to work on your swing.”
“I will.”
“You know, my only vindication for this whole thing is that you and Caroline are now finally together and can torture each other on a daily basis. Life is good.” Mallory served the ball again.
“You used to be a lot sweeter.” Gigi hit the ball this time.
“Ignorance is bliss.” Mallory hit it back hard.
“I still love you and you have great legs.”
“Then learn to play better.”
*
When Caroline got home from work Friday evening, Gigi had cleaned the house and the table was set for dinner. She came into the dining room carrying a vase of brilliant white daisies, which she placed in the center of the dining room table. She’d finally thrown out the calla lilies, which had become practically petrified. She looked at Caroline sheepishly.
“This looks nice,” Caroline said diplomatically.
“I’m sorry about Mallory. I should have told you earlier and as Mallory put it, I have the social skills of a moron. I guess she’s right.”
Caroline laughed. “Boy, you can say that again. What happened to your forehead?”
“I was too busy being insulted to pay attention to the whereabouts of the ball.”
“And you got cold-cocked.”
“I supposed it was payback in the karmic sense.”
Caroline came closer. She ran her forefinger across the bump. “Does it still hurt?”
“A little,” Gigi said, her face getting hot. Even though they lived together, close proximity always gave her a charge and made her nervous at the same time. It was always this way with Caroline. It was what had first drawn her to Caroline, the stew of emotions she felt any time they got close. Gigi felt Caroline drawing her closer. She ran her hand down Caroline’s back until their bodies touched completely. Gigi nuzzled her neck.
Caroline lifted her chin and gazed in her eyes. “I have missed you.” And then she kissed her.
“Is this okay?” Gigi asked.
“Oh, Gigi.”
They kissed again and Gigi couldn’t decide if she should mention dinner or suggest the bedroom. This was a big step and she was scared shitless. In the end, it was Caroline who made the decision.
“We should stop or I’m going to need a cold shower.”
“Or we could keep going and take it somewhere soft and cuddly,” Gigi said, nibbling Caroline’s shoulder. It was supposed to be romantic but all Gigi got was a mouthful of T-shirt. Real life was never like the lesbian novels.
“Are you sure you’re ready for that? Gigi, I can’t go to that place if you’re going to bail on me again.”
Gigi studied her face. “I’m ready to stop playing this game. I want to make love. I want to behave like a couple and I want to get on with our lives. If that’s all right with you.”
Caroline was quiet for a moment. Gigi could feel her heart begin to pound as if the weight of her whole life were being decided at this moment. Caroline took her hand and led her to the bedroom.
“Does this mean yes?”
Caroline pinched her hard.
“Remember, my social skills aren’t that good.”
“I intend to remedy that,” Caroline said. She pulled Gigi’s T- shirt off.
“What? Are you going to send me to charm school?”
“You could certainly use it.”
“Maybe you could teach me,” Gigi said. She watched as Caroline took off her shirt and then her shorts. Suddenly, she didn’t feel like talking anymore.
Gigi set her down gently on the bed. Caroline kissed her softly. Gigi slid off her own shorts and undid her bra. Then she eased Caroline back on the bed. She kissed Caroline’s nipple and then traced the outline of her breast with her tongue.
“I had forgotten how beautiful your breasts are,” Gigi said, slowly running her tongue around the smooth pink nipple again.
“They, on the other hand, have never forgotten you,” Caroline said.
“Hmm . . .” Gigi said. “How kind of them.”
Caroline’s breath grew ragged as Gigi kissed her stomach and flicked her tongue down one thigh and up the other. She opened her legs wider and Gigi ran her tongue between Caroline’s now very wet lips, flicking softly at first and then harder against her clitoris. Gigi had to concentrate on not coming. She wanted to wait for Caroline but it had been so long since she’d had this feeling, and at one point she wasn’t certain she was ever going to feel like having sex again. Everything had gone so badly and it all appeared linked to getting off. But this was love, Gigi told herself. This was different. She felt Caroline come.
Then Caroline, who must have sensed that Gigi was already almost there, rolled her on her stomach and entered her from behind. First one finger, then two and finally three. Gigi thrust hard against her until she couldn’t contain her orgasm a second longer. Gigi let out a long groan. She rolled back over. “That was nice.”
“So nice.” Caroline took a deep breath.
“I’m thinking abstinence does make the heart grow stronger.”
“It’s absence that makes the heart grow fonder,” Caroline corrected her.
“I like my version better,” Gigi said, pulling Caroline back on top of her. She smiled as she ran her hand between Caroline’s thighs.
Caroline pulled Gigi toward her and they rocked against each other until they both came within seconds of each other. They both flopped back down on the bed.
Gigi gazed into Caroline’s eyes. “Why did this take so long?”
“Because you were a coward,” Caroline said, taking Gigi’s hand and placing it between her thighs. “Tonight, let’s make up for all the lost time and then we can start over.”
Gigi sighed. “That sounds wonderful.”
It was midnight when Gigi got up to go pee and get a drink of water. She had carefully unraveled herself from the love knot she had formed with Caroline. The last candle flickered out as Gigi gazed down at Caroline. She was a beautiful woman and Gigi swore she would treat her better. She pulled the sheet up over Caroline’s naked shoulders. The night had finally cooled off. She turned off the fan and crept out of the room.
Gigi found God in the dining room eating the chocolate mousse Gigi had purchased for dessert.
“This is good,” God said around a mouthful of mousse. She patted a chair next to her at the table.
“Yes, it seems you didn’t get as far as dinner. May I suggest steak and eggs for your lovebird’s breakfast. You’ll really score major points with that one.”
“Good idea. Wait a minute . . . you know about tonight?”
“I’m omniscient, remember.”
“You didn’t watch, did you?” Gigi tried hard not to imagine God watching her scraggly ass banging against Caroline. She winced at the very thought of it.
“Of course not,” God replied indignantly. “You didn’t make that happen.”
“No, sweetie darling, you did that all on your own. I may have invented orgasms but I don’t create them.”
“Why did you do that?” Gigi asked, suddenly curious why her body was wired in such a way. Looking at God eating suddenly reminded Gigi how hungry she was. She got herself a bowl and had some mousse. It was delicious.
“Do what?” God scooped the rest of the mousse out of the bowl, scraping the bottom with her spoon. “Damn, that stuff’s good.”
“Create orgasms.”
“Oh, that. Well, I needed an impetus to get you people to breed. I wanted you to have fun doing it. Sex is kind of weird when you think about it. I was concerned that humans, being as smart as they are, would see this. I needed to come up with an incentive.” God stuffed her face close to the daisies that were on the table. “Daisies don’t really have a smell. I don’t know what it should be but they should have something.”
“They’re some new weird kind of genetically engineered flower. I wanted daffodils but the florist said they’re out of season already.”
“Now that we have that settled, there’s another thing I’d like to discuss with you.”
“You mean orgasms and flowers?” Gigi liked to clarify. Not understanding God correctly could have dire consequences.
“Yes.”
“All right.” Gigi folded her hands on the table and did her best to pay attention. She was suddenly exhausted and this wasn’t what she had planned for the evening. Caroline’s warm body was waiting for her and she wanted to get back there and run her hand down Caroline’s lean torso and maybe somewhere else.
“My goodness, my little heathen has come a long way since we first met. Remember when we talked about my having a plan for you?”
Gigi gulped. “Now’s the time?”
“Yes.”
“What do I have to do?” Gigi asked, suddenly wide awake, her mind racing through a series of awful scenarios, all of which involved pain and ridicule.
“I want you to write a self-help book for me.”
Gigi nearly fell off her chair she was laughing so hard.
“Shh! You’ll wake her up.” God got up from the dining room table and stood at the edge of the hallway. She listened intently. The bedroom door was wide open. Caroline groaned from the bedroom and then was quiet again.
Gigi clamped her mouth shut but she couldn’t stop laughing. She heard on the radio that someone had died trying to contain a sneeze. She hoped the same wasn’t true for laughing.
“What is so funny?” God asked indignantly. She went to the couch and brought over a black briefcase like a businessman would carry.
“Have you lost your mind?” Gigi looked askance at the bag.
“No, I am in full control of all my faculties—in fact, I feel extremely focused.”
“Why in the hell do you want to write a self-help book? We’ve got a million of them out there already, and as you can see by the wretched state of the place, they haven’t done any good.”
“I’m not ready to give up yet. This one will be different.”
Gigi wiped her eyes. “You’re just like a hopeful parent who keeps thinking that one day their rotten kid will morph into some amazingly decent person. Don’t count on it. In my opinion, human beings are basically rotten.”
“You’re so pessimistic. There’s good in some of you. So humor me.”
“I don’t know how to write.”
“You will. I’ll teach you. See that stack of books over there? You’ll read those and I’ll dictate the book to you while you bone up on the particulars,” God said, pointing to the laptop she pulled out of the mysterious briefcase.
“Why do I have to study the books?”
“Because an idiot can’t write a masterpiece. You’ll need some credibility.”
“I was never a good student.” Gigi eyed the stack of books. It looked like a lot of work.
“You will be now.”
“Or?”
“Trust me, you won’t like the consequences.”
Gigi imagined the errant sprinkler system going off at work, at the racquetball court, in the grocery store. “I’ve become suddenly very motivated.”
“Great! Now let’s get started.” God flipped open the laptop and looked at her. “I assume you know how to use one of these.”
“Unfortunately, yes.” Gigi knew for certain that God was serious about this book thing. She supposed this was better than some of the other scenarios she had imagined. Anything to do with God was not going to be easy, but she guessed if she could get her body strong for Mallory, she could exercise her mind a little for the Almighty. This notion of not being selfish anymore was really kind of a drag. She pulled the laptop toward her. “What do you want to call it?” She looked inquiringly at God, who was standing up and seemed engrossed in thought. Oh, great, Gigi thought, she’s in a writer’s trance.
“The Philosophy of Water.”
“Interesting title,” Gigi mumbled.
The next morning Gigi was slumped over her computer when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder.
“Gigi, are you all right?”
“I’m tired! I can’t do any more,” Gigi said, sitting up and blinking. “Oh, it’s you. Good morning. Is it still Saturday?” The last time she spent that much time with God she slept through an entire weekend.
“Yes, it’s still Saturday. Who were you talking to?”
“God. She’s a slave-driver,” Gigi said, taking a good look around.
“There’s no one here.”
“Oh, good.”
“What are you doing?” Caroline asked, pointing to the computer. “And where’d you get that?”
“I’m writing a book and I picked that up yesterday.” Gigi figured it wasn’t exactly a lie.
“I didn’t know you were a writer.”
Gigi could tell from the tone of her voice that Caroline thought she was completely nuts. She was capable of certain things but a literary genius she was not. “I’m not.”
“Well, you’re on page twenty-seven. Can I read it?”
“I suppose so,” Gigi said, looking around. “There’s no thunderbolts so I guess we’re all right.” Gigi got up and offered Caroline the chair. “Hey, you want steak and eggs for breakfast since we never got around to dinner?”
“Sure, that’s sounds wonderful,” Caroline said, scrolling back to the beginning of the book.
Gigi went to make breakfast. She started the coffee and then cut up some green onions and tomatoes for omelets. She was humming to herself when Caroline found her out back on the patio. It was still early so the scorching heat of the summer day had not yet begun. There was a slight breeze that rustled the queen palm next to the pool. The sky was a perfect blue and for once in a long time, Gigi felt genuinely happy.
“You know, I really enjoy cooking when I have someone to cook for,” Gigi said, giving her a big hug.
“Your book is really good.”
“It is?” Gigi said, putting the steaks on the grill.
“Yes, I had no idea you were so intuitive.”
“I’m not,” Gigi said. She opened the arcadia door and went into the kitchen. Caroline followed her.
“But you wrote that.”
“Not really.” Gigi got the eggs out of the fridge and cracked them in a bowl. She was hoping this would distract Caroline from the book tangent. Gigi really didn’t want
to get into it. People were going to be amazed that she knew enough English grammar to write a correct paragraph. How would they react to a book? Perhaps God should have chosen someone more qualified.
“How can you not really write a book?”
“I’m telling you. I didn’t write it. I’m just the ghostwriter or whatever those people are called who write about what someone tells them.”
“Whose book is it then?”
“God is actually the one writing it.” Gigi got a pan out of the cupboard and started the eggs.
“Have you been talking to your mother again?”
“No, she still hates me.”
“Well, whoever is typing those words into the computer should keep it up.”
“I don’t think I have a choice. I can only imagine what defiance would bring,” Gigi muttered.
The steak and omelets were delicious, and Gigi and Caroline spent the rest of the weekend in each other’s arms and eating. Gigi decided these were her two favorite pastimes. God left her alone for the next couple of days, although Gigi kept looking over her shoulder waiting for an appearance.
The following Thursday afternoon, Mallory was poking around in Gigi’s book bag. “What on earth is going on here?” Mallory asked. “I mean, you’ve got books on religion, philosophy, spirituality, psychology and history. I didn’t think you knew how to read.”
Gigi scowled at her. “I know how to read. I just don’t like to read, but I have to study them or else.”
“Why? Are you back in summer school or something?” Mallory said, stuffing them back into the bag.
“Because I need credibility and in my current state of idiocy I had better get cracking.”
“Gigi, what is going on?”
“I’ll tell you when I pull it off.” Gigi sat down on the locker room bench and changed into her tennis shoes. She pulled the racquet out of her bag and began straightening out the strings and doing her best to avoid Mallory’s gaze.
“Gigi, no more secrets. I mean it or I’m out of here,” Mallory said, her hands on her hips and a determined look on her face.
“All right. This is not about a woman. I actually might just grow up to be a good partner,” Gigi said, thinking back to having breakfast with Caroline that morning and then having Caroline. Caroline was teaching a night class and Gigi didn’t have to go to work until ten. She had made Caroline toast and strawberries and brought them to her in bed.
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