But even so, the second he told me to push, I did. Poor Jace wouldn’t last another twelve hours. I wasn’t even sure he’d last one.
I pushed for only thirty minutes, and then the sounds of a crying baby filled the room.
“Let me see,” I insisted, trying to sit up all the way.
A tiny, slippery baby was placed on my chest immediately. “It’s a girl,” the doctor announced.
A girl. I had a daughter.
She was crying and shaking a tiny little fist, as if she were telling everyone in the room she wasn't too happy with the way things were going.
I laughed. I liked her spirit.
The sound of my laughter made her cries quiet. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and green. Her head was perfectly round and had a light dusting of downy, dark hair.
“Hi,” I told her, touching the fist she’d been waving around.
She made a sound, a cross between a cry and a yell. Grinning, I said, “She’s just like you, Jace.”
He didn’t answer.
Tearing my eyes away from my new baby daughter, I found him standing a few feet from the bed, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. His eyes looked like wide saucers, the deep brown bottomless, and he was completely transfixed on me and his baby. His mouth was parted slightly, and the rise and fall of his chest was a little quicker than normal.
“Jace?”
“Dad, we need you to cut the cord,” the doctor said at the same time.
Not tearing his eyes from us, he stepped toward the doctor, who put a pair of scissors in his hand and instructed him on what to do.
Removing his eyes from us only long enough to cut the cord, immediately, his stare returned.
I held out my hand. “Come meet her.”
Jace came, moving cautiously, as if he were afraid to scare the still fussing baby wiggling around in my arms.
Tilting her up so he could see her better, I smiled. “This is your daddy,” I told her.
Jace hit his knees right there beside the bed.
For the first time since I’d met him, tears glistened in his eyes. Working his throat, swallowing thickly, he reached out a hand, stretching a single finger toward his daughter. At the same moment, her fist opened, the pad of his finger brushed over her palm, and her fingers closed around it.
A tear rolled down his cheek.
Which made a fountain of tears roll down mine.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered to her. She stared at him as if he’d literally hung the moon, her eyes not leaving his face at all. “You have your momma’s eyes.”
She made a soft sound.
Jace nearly gasped. “Is she okay?” His eyes swung to the nurse. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Nothing is wrong with her,” the nurse replied patiently. “I think she likes you.”
Looking up, I couldn’t help but notice the way the doctor and nurse had stopped what they were doing to watch Jace with his daughter. I knew these people saw moments like this hundreds of times, but I knew just by looking at their faces they’d never quite seen a man as surly as Jace literally brought to his knees.
If I ever worried—even for a brief second—Jace might have wanted a son more than a daughter, that worry vanished. He loved our little girl instantly. Wholeheartedly.
And for that, I loved him just a little bit more.
“I’ll need to see her.” The nurse started forward.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jace demanded, swinging around between me and the nurse.
“I need to weigh her, wrap her in a blanket, put a diaper on her…” the nurse explained patiently.
“Mrs. Lorhaven, I’m gonna need you to push a few more times,” the doctor said from the end of my bed.
Jace’s body stiffened. I imagined his eyes were almost popping out of his head. “Is there another baby in there!”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
“No,” the doctor said, and I could tell he was slightly amused. “But we need to remove the placenta.”
“How about you bring me the baby,” the nurse said, moving just a foot away to her small station.
Turning, Jace glanced at me, his stare eating up the sight of us both. “Here,” I said, offering him our daughter.
“She’s naked,” he whispered, horrified.
“Did you think she’d come out fully clothed?” I rebutted.
The baby started fussing and crying. I began to worry. “Take her, Jace. She’s probably cold.”
Without hesitation, Jace swooped in, and as if he’d done it thousand times before, he scooped her up, pulling her into his chest, both arms wrapped tightly around her.
“Hey now,” he told her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna take care of you now.”
I sniffled. He was adorable. Absolutely heart-melting.
“Aren’t you that bad-boy race car driver?” the nurse asked when he brought her over.
“And?” he barked.
“Looks like someone found his soft spot,” she mused, taking the baby.
I watched them across the room as I finished with the doctor. By the time I was done, I was exhausted, but I felt sticky and gross. “I want a shower,” I said.
“The nurse will help you with that,” the doctor said. “But then it’s right back off your feet. I’ll send someone in and also have your bed changed so it will be ready for you.”
“What the hell is that?” Jace said, pointing to the baby.
I jolted up, alarmed. “What!”
“It’s a hat, sir. We put them on all the newborns.”
“It’s ugly,” Jace announced, crossing his fingers over his head. “My daughter doesn’t wear ugly hats.”
“Oh my God, Jace, you are so rude!”
“It’s a standard issue hat, sir,”
Jace wasn’t listening. He was digging through the bag of baby items I’d packed—an entire bag. I’d brought pink, blue, gender neutral… basically way too much.
“Here,” he said, pulling out something. The nurse moved to take it, but he made a sound, pushing past her.
“Here we go, sweetheart,” he murmured, gently taking off the “ugly” striped hat and carefully tugging on a baby-pink cotton one with a giant red heart on it. When he was done, he made a sound of satisfaction and picked her up.
“Good luck getting a turn,” the nurse told me slyly.
I giggled.
Jace carried her over to me. “Here’s Mommy.”
Halfway to handing her over, the nurse stopped him. “I need to take her to the nursery. I’ll bring her back as soon as possible.”
I made a face, and the nurse smiled. “She’ll be back before you know it. Take the time to clean up. I’ll have someone in to help you as soon as possible.”
“I’ll help her,” Jace said.
“No, go with the baby.” I insisted.
He frowned. Glancing between me and our daughter, I could tell he was torn. Placing a hand over the bundle in his arms, I said, “Go with her.”
He nodded once. “I’ll be right back.”
“I know.”
About an hour later, I was cleaned up and dressed in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. They offered me a clean hospital gown, which I politely declined. Did people actually like wearing those things?
My hair was pulled up into a smooth bun on top of my head, out of the way. It was straight. I’d been wearing it that way a lot because I could go and have it blown out, something that didn’t require any effort for my large, pregnant butt.
After I was settled in the bed, pain meds swallowed, and fresh water at the bedside, the nurse left me in the room alone. The second she was gone, I pushed out of the bed, grabbed the baby bag I’d brought, and set it on the mattress so I could dress the baby when she came back.
Then, impatient, I went out into the hallway to find my daughter.
Feeling kind of like a cup of Jell-O as I walked toward the nursery, I knew I should be in bed, but I’d just be
en there for twelve long hours and I wanted to see my daughter.
Jace hogged her, and it made me grumpy.
About halfway down the hall, a familiar figure came around the corner, along with a clear baby bassinet and a nurse.
Everything inside me brightened. Pushing away from the wall, I started forward, stumbling just a bit.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jace demanded, rushing to my side and lifting me into his arms instantly. Even though it was embarrassing, I let him have all my weight.
“I wanted to see the baby.”
“I told you I’d bring her back.”
“You really need to stay in bed.” The nurse chimed in.
I ignored her, glancing instead at the little bundle wrapped up in the bassinet. My heart fluttered just seeing her. Warmth burst inside me. She was utterly beautiful and so tiny.
“I don’t know what kind of place this is,” Jace spoke very quietly against my ear. “Look at that blanket, Josie. It’s just unacceptable.”
I laughed. Since when did he become so concerned with fashion?
“She weighs seven pounds, six ounces,” the nurse told me as we went toward our room. “And is perfectly healthy.”
“She likes to cry,” Jace told me.
“She’s hungry,” the nurse said. “You’ll need to feed her right away.”
Once the nurse was confident I’d gotten the hang of feeding her, she finally left us alone. I held her, mostly staring at her. Jace sat on the side of the bed, his arm around me and his daughter the entire time.
“She’s so pink,” I whispered, brushing a finger over her chubby cheeks. “So little.”
“Kid’s got a set of lungs on her, though. Did me proud. Every time that dragon nurse touched her, she let ‘em have it.”
“You must be so proud.” I teased.
He didn’t seem to realize I was joking. “Damn straight. This kid isn’t gonna take shit from anyone.”
“You can’t say shit in front of a baby.” I scolded.
He made sound, and I leaned into him, resting my head on his chest. The baby was sleeping in my arms, breathing soft and steady. I loved her so much… in a way I’d never loved anyone before. I loved her when I was pregnant, but the second I saw her, I loved her ten times more.
Jace kissed the top of my head. “She’s beautiful, Josie.”
“I can’t believe we have a daughter,” I mused. Tilting my head back, gazing up, I said, “Thank you, Jace. Thank you for giving her to me.”
“You have to share.”
I laughed. “I think I can handle that.”
“The nurse asked me her name,” Jace said as I gazed back down at her. “I didn’t know what to say.”
We’d tossed names around my entire pregnancy, but one never felt just right. We had a few that were our favorites, but as I looked down at her now, none of them fit.
“Sophia,” I said, adjusting the pink hat on her head. “I think she looks like a Sophia.”
“That’s a new one,” he mused.
“I like it. It can’t be shortened into a boy name. It’s very feminine but also beautiful.”
“Sophie for short?” he asked.
I nodded. “How about Sophia Jacqueline Lorhaven.”
I felt the slight change come over him, the way his arm tightened just a little around me and our baby. “After my mother.”
“Jacqueline is a beautiful name,” I said, knowing it would mean so much for him to be able to give a piece of his mother to the daughter she would never meet.
Jace pressed his lips on the top of my head. Beneath me, I felt the thundering of his heart.
“Is it okay?” I asked after a moment.
“God, baby, it’s perfect.”
A few moments later, there was a knock on the door before it opened and Arrow poked his head in. “Can I come in?”
Jace motioned for him, slipping off the bed. Arrow entered, followed closely by Hopper, my father, and Donna.
Donna and my father were holding hands. It was nice to see them happy.
All eyes went to the baby in my arms. “It’s a girl,” I said quietly.
I couldn’t help but look right at my father when I announced it. Part of me was worried what he would say.
Leaving Donna’s side, he came right over, leaned close to her, and kissed her cheek. Sophia yawned. Dad smiled.
Clearing his throat, he straightened, sweeping his eyes around the room. “I should make it clear here and now she’s my favorite. All you others can just get in line behind her.”
I laughed. “Dad!”
“She’s just beautiful,” he said, gazing down.
“What’s her name?” Arrow asked, leaning over the foot of the bed like that would help him see. I motioned for him, and he came around reluctantly to peer down into my arms.
“Sophia Jacqueline,” I said, holding her out toward him.
“You want me to hold her?” He faltered.
“Well, she is your niece.”
His eyes went round, glancing around at Hopper for help. Hopper came forward to stand at his back.
“Support her head,” I instructed, passing her into his arms.
“Don’t drop her,” Jace intoned. I shot him a look.
Arrow straightened, holding her tight into his chest. Hopper stared at her from over Arrow’s shoulder. Seconds ticked by. Then Arrow gasped. “She’s looking at me!”
“Tell her hi,” I told him.
“Hi, uh, Sophia…” he said. She made a sound, and he smiled. “Oh, she likes me,” he announced.
Hopper rolled his eyes.
“I’m your uncle. I’m going to teach you about driving fast and—”
“No!” Jace cut in. “No freaking way.”
Arrow looked at me, and I winked.
She started fussing, wiggling around in Arrow’s arms. “Oh shit.” He worried “What’d I do.”
“You don’t say shit to a baby!” Jace muttered, stalking over to push between Arrow and Hopper. “Give me my daughter.”
Sophie was surrendered to Jace, and she stopped crying immediately.
I watched him with her, marveling at how natural he was without even realizing it. He knew exactly what to do with our daughter, and he made sure he ordered everyone around as they all took turns holding her.
After a while, he shooed them all out, and I fed her again. Afterward, I changed her diaper, outfit, and blanket. Even though I had an abundance of clothes in the baby bag, everything we put on her was pink. Even the soft blanket we swaddled her in.
Snuggling her close, I yawned. My eyes were so heavy. I was so happy, but I was exhausted.
“You need to get some sleep,” Jace said, watching me.
“I wish I didn’t have to.”
“You’ll be up soon enough to feed her again.”
Nodding, I let him gently take her from my arms. “Go to sleep, baby,” he whispered, kissing me on the forehead. “I got this. I’ll watch over you both.”
Settling into the pillow, I smiled as my eyes grew heavy. Jace dragged a big rocking chair over by the bed and sat down in it to gently rock Sophie.
I watched him with her as I drifted off. My husband and my daughter. I had not one regret about giving up racing to pursue a family and empower women. Doing those things empowered me in ways I never knew possible.
I loved my life now. More than I ever had before.
Sophie made a noise, and my eyes sprang open.
Jace tucked the blanket around her a little tighter, kissed her tiny head, and smiled. “Don’t be waking up Mommy, Soph,” he whispered. “She’s grouchy when she’s tired.”
“I am not,” I argued.
Looking up at me, he smiled.
My heart constricted. He was perfect. She was perfect. Life in this moment was absolutely flawless.
One final thought drifted through my mind before I finally succumbed to much-needed sleep.
Who knew life could be so much better beyond the #finishline?
But turn the page for more…
Turn the page for a BONUS GearShark article featuring Trent & Drew!
Drew Forrester and Trent Mask made GearShark history when they announced not only the beginning of a brand-new indie racing division, New Revolution Racing, but also when they announced their relationship.
Same-sex relationships aren’t uncommon in today’s society, but they are in the racing world. In the overall sports world. So to have two men come right out and admit they’re in love and ask for respect was groundbreaking here at GearShark.
They also happen to be very easy on the eyes, charming, and very successful at what they do. Because of all this, it comes as no surprise that the magazine still gets emails and phone calls about these two men.
They are quite arguably our most popular cover models, which makes them a no-brainer choice for a bonus Rapid Fire Round in this red-hot issue. I caught up with these boys via phone just after they were guests at Jayson Hamilton (AKA Hopper) and Arrow Hamilton’s (formerly Ambrose) wedding in Las Vegas.
It didn’t take them long to remind me why it is they’re everyone’s favorite.
GS: Our readers are going to be very thrilled about this interview. We get asked for more articles about you both constantly.
DF: We’re pretty boring guys.
GS: Something tells me that isn’t exactly true.
TM: Well, if it’s not, we’ll never tell.
GS:
GS: You ready for this rapid-fire round? You’re gonna have to do some telling.
DF: Bring it on.
GS: Who has the best French fries?
TM: He’s never met a French fry he didn’t like.
DF: It’s true. I like ‘em all, long as they have ketchup.
GS: No favorite type at all?
DF & TM: Waffle fries.
GS: It’s well known you live on a family estate, behind a wall and a gate, with Maryland Knights stars Romeo Anderson and Braeden Walker, plus their wives and children. What’s it like living with so many other people?
TM: They aren’t people. They’re our family. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
DF: T and I have our own place on the property.
#FinishLine (GearShark #5) Page 25