by Tara Brent
“Would we be involved after the sale?” I ask.
Tiff grabs her new office chair courtesy of Jackson and pushes it over to my desk. He thoughtfully replaced all the broken down crap in our office with high-end furniture. That sweet gesture prompted a confession out of me. I told Tiff that I had been dating Jackson for a month. After a smothering hug, I made her swear not to tell Vince. She locked her lips and tossed the key over her shoulder.
“Well, we have several options,” Tiff explains. “We can develop another app, but it can’t compete with CuteMeet. We could stay on as consultants, but then that makes us their employees, and we have to move to LA, or we could buy a yacht and sail off to a warmer climate.
I crease my brow. “Will we have enough money to retire young?”
Tiffany glances up toward the ceiling and starts to calculate the figures in her head. “Probably not, but it’s a constant fantasy of mine. Actually, if we invested it, we probably could retire sooner than later.” She pauses to give me a quizzical look. “Why don’t you look happy? Is there trouble at home? You could use the money to move out.”
I moan like I’ve been poked in the belly. Should I share what I’m agonizing over? Or should I get confirmation first? Tiff leans in until my uneasy gaze meets her concerned one. That searching look unhinges my mouth, and I blurt out what I’ve been thinking about for days.
I sigh. “I think I’m pregnant, Tiff. I missed a period.”
Her eyebrows fly back across her forehead as her eyes make perfect circles. “Think you’re pregnant? By whom?”
I shove her arm. “You know who?” I pause. “Sorry, I can’t think about a buyout when I’m worried about a late period.”
“Do you want to know if you’re pregnant?”
It sounds like a silly question, but I get what Tiff means. Right now, I’m in that limbo of denial, and once I find out, I can’t turn back. Everything is going to change if I am. I don’t even know what to do as a feeling of panic starts to build, and I feel bloated from my head to my toes.
Tiff places her hand on mine. “I think we should find out today, and then we’ll talk about our options.”
I was supposed to have a talk with Jackson, and we did have a serious talk. We mainly talked about his father. Ted was a tall man who scowled and drank beer on the front porch while watching the world. I hadn’t known his father that well when I was a kid. It wasn’t like we would’ve had anything to talk about back then. We went to the nursing home to visit him. I insisted on going even though Jackson appeared uncomfortable. He stared straight ahead while driving to the facility deep in the suburbs. I was surprised and touched when Ted remembered me. He smiled and held my hand, thanking me for visiting him. We talked for two hours about our neighborhood memories, and Jackson would add a comment that made us laugh. It was a good visit, and I felt a little closer to Jackson, but we still hadn’t talked about us.
Tiffany drives us to a drugstore at a strip mall on the highway. Maybe she was concerned someone would recognize us. Vince’s face flashes into my mind. And suddenly, I don’t think it’s so silly anymore.
I never had to buy a pregnancy test before, not even when I was younger. The teenage clerk behind the counter tosses it into the plastic bag along with my peanut butter cups and Tiffany’s bag of chips. It was no big deal, and maybe I should calm the fuck down until I know for sure. I can’t take the test at home. And I didn’t want to do it in the office. So Tiffany and I go to her apartment not too far from the office.
It was a cozy one-bedroom in a short brick building near the main road heading out of town. I plop down on a large couch in the living room that’s cozy enough to sleep on while Tiff straightens up the bathroom. I stare at the framed landscape of an apple tree on the wall over the gas fireplace. There are little touches of Tiff’s personality spread across the room. A bud vase filled with wildflowers, a silver bracelet tossed on to a ceramic plate, and the latest bestsellers in paperback piled up on the seat of an old wooden chair.
“Okay, the bathroom is cleaner,” she says, coming back into the room. “Maya, I’ll be right here waiting.” She grips my shoulders. “It will work out. It always does. So don’t panic.”
I sigh, taking the bag minus the junk food with me into the bathroom. It’s cramped as I look for a spot to put down the bag. I do the deed and hold the test in my hands. My hand starts to tremble as I picture a blameless baby with me as its mother. I had imagined marriage first, and then babies—many, many years later. I was focused on my career and hadn’t been interested in dating until Jackson noticed me.
There’s no point in fretting when I’ll know my future in a minute. The stick in my hand is ready to show the results. I open my eyes, and my heart sinks down into the pit of my stomach like a cement block. I’m pregnant.
My brain feels too large for my head. And the truth shatters denial. Overwhelmed, I lean against the bathroom door and jump, knocking over the hamper when Tiff knocks on the door.
“Are you okay in there?” she asks.
I’m very un-okay, but I open the door anyway. Tears fill my eyes as I hand her the stick. Tiff tugs me into her arms, and I sniff hard as I bury my head in her shoulder. She rubs my back and offers words of encouragement, but I feel numb. What am I going to do?
“You’re going to tell him,” she speaks softly.
“Who?” I sniff.
“Jackson, of course.”
I scoff. “I also have to tell Vince. He’s going to freak when I tell him I’m pregnant with Jackson’s baby.”
She holds my shoulders and looks me in the eye. “I know you weren’t planning this, but maybe it will be okay.”
I grab a piece of toilet paper and wipe my eyes. “Do you believe it will be okay?” Tiff is silent, so I answer my question for her. “Jackson won’t settle down. And Vince knows that. He tried to tell me, but I had to be horny and stubborn.”
Tiff guides me out of the cramped bathroom, and we sit side by side on the couch. “You have to give Jackson a chance,” she says, “I think he’s changed.”
“You barely know him, Tiff. He’s been chasing women and then running from them for decades. He’s had a few steady girlfriends, but he’s never shown any desire to marry any of them.”
She shakes her head. “Maya, he looks at you like you already own his heart. He may have had coffee with all those women, but he made it clear that he wanted you. You have to tell him.”
I sigh louder. “Eventually, I will.”
For a moment, Tiffany stares at me but doesn’t say anything else. We know each other well enough to know when it’s time to stop talking. She gets up and returns with a glass of water and an aspirin. I thank her for knowing what I need right at the moment. She’s right. Jackson has been extremely attentive. He calls me, hasn’t broken a date, or worse, ghosted me. But a baby is a significant game-changer.
Tiffany disappears into the kitchen and returns with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. It’s the middle of the workday, but when she flips on the Hallmark channel, I know we’re not going back to work. I wolf down my peanut butter cups while we watch a movie with all the perfect elements, including a rambunctious kid that wants mom and dad back together for Christmas. I moan, and Tiff changes to the weather channel.
“Well, we should probably sell the app to Foxtrot,” she says softly. “It will give you money for the baby. It will be one less thing to worry about.”
“That’s not fair to you,” I tell her. “Our decision should be based on what we both want.”
Tiff puts the ice cream down and glares at me. “Maya, I want you to be okay. Trust me. I’ll be okay with a big fat check.”
“You mentioned they might hire us?”
She nods. “But it would mean a move to LA. That’s a far way to run.”
***
Jackson takes me out to dinner the next night to celebrate the buyout. I didn’t get a chance to tell him myself. An ecstatic Vince told him first over the phone. Of course, I was piss
ed but also relieved that I had kept the baby news a secret. Only Tiffany knew, and I would keep it that way for now.
“Congratulations,” Jackson lifts a glass of fine wine in my honor. He insists on taking me to dinner, but I demand that I pick the place. He shrugs his shoulders when I veto the city in favor of a seafood restaurant in the less trendy part of town. Kelly’s Stone Crab isn’t romantic with its dark wood and brusque staff, but I need comfort food to keep me going through the night.
I sip my seltzer, claiming that I have a tummy ache and only want a salad. The truth is Tiff, and I feasted on pizza with pepperoni and ice cream with chips until midnight yesterday talking about our future. I had made a decision about mine and was sticking to it. Inhaling deeply, I let the words rush out of my mouth. “I’m moving to LA. I’ve been offered a job with Foxtrot, and I’ve decided to take it.”
Jackson doesn’t say anything. For several minutes, he just looks at me. His intense gaze starts to melt my determination. I wonder if I’m the first woman to leave him. Maybe he doesn’t know how to react.
Jackson clears his throat. “That’s wonderful, Maya. Congratulations, you deserve a dream job. I’m happy for you.”
They’re kind words, but I don’t want to hear them. I want Jackson to look disappointed. I want him to beat his chest and shout, and then plead for me to stay. I want a declaration of his never-ending love, and he’ll never let me go. Tears well up in my eyes, but I tap them down with my ego.
“Are you shocked?” I ask, then take a sip of seltzer.
“Yeah.” He looks at his plate and puts down his fork. “Yeah, but I’m really happy for you. When are you leaving for LA?”
Am I being pushed out the door? Perhaps my replacement is growing impatient waiting for me to vacate his bed. We never did have that talk. But what’s the point now. He obviously doesn’t feel the same way I do. I love him, but he can’t wait to see me go.
I toss my napkin down on the table. “My stomach is bothering me. Could you drop me off at home?”
Jackson’s gaze lands on my stomach, and without thinking, I cover my imaginary belly with my hands. “Should we stop by the drugstore and pick you up something?”
My face flashes heat to my roots as I stare at him guiltily. Tiff insisted on keeping the test as a memento, and though it’s securely tucked away in my desk drawer at work. I feel as if he knows it exists. “No,” I shake my head quickly as he helps me out of my chair, “I just need to lay down.”
“You could lie down at my place,” he offers. It’s not a come on. There’s sincerity in Jackson’s eyes, and I pause for a second and stare into his gaze, wholly lost in the moment. I want to wrap my arms around his neck and blurt out the truth. I want him to be happy that I’m pregnant with his baby. But I don’t say a word as I grab my purse. I’m too scared to be rejected by the one man I’ve always wanted since I was a little girl. I know Jackson the player won’t be happy to learn he’s going to be a daddy.
“No, I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow,” I tell him as we walk toward the door. “And they want me there by next week.”
Jackson reaches for his wallet and pays the confused waitress for the meal we didn’t finish. She looks startled as if she’s ready to argue, and then she freezes when Jackson turns on his full-volt charm. Blinded by his smile, she starts to blush and stutter as she thanks him for coming and hopes he’ll come back again. I haven’t even left yet, and it’s beginning. Upset, I push the door open and march out of the dump, heading toward his car.
“Sorry, Maya.” He rushes up behind me to open the car door. “I didn’t know you were in a hurry.”
I’m thankful it’s dark outside, so he can’t see how upset I really am. I mumble something about needing the bathroom as I fold my arms over my stomach. We drive in silence through Bridgetown, and I stare at the dark storefronts. I won’t see you every day after I move away. Nostalgia hits me like a wave and leaves me fighting back a wave of tears. It’s my choice to go, but I can’t help but feel like I’m running away from my home. I sniff back a tear and stare out the passenger window and then gawk in alarm when I see the Clocktower come into view.
“What are we doing at your place?” I ask him. “I wanted to go home.”
Jackson pulls over in front of his building and shuts off the car. He doesn’t say anything as he stares straight ahead, struggling with his thoughts. My heart starts pounding in my chest, anxious to hear what he’ll tell me. Maybe he’s read my mind. Perhaps he knows I don’t really want to go.
“Maya, you seem upset about something, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“It’s just my stomach.” I hold myself tighter. “I just need to lie down.”
He frowns out into the darkness. “Maya, we’ve known each other since we were kids. Long enough for me to know that you probably don’t have a stomach ache, and you’re upset about something someone said or did.” Jackson turns toward me, and that soulful gaze will unravel my resolve. “I don’t want you to ever be upset with me.”
My lips quiver as a tear escapes and runs down my cheek. “I’m nervous about the move, that’s all.”
Jackson leans toward me and cups my face with his hand. He presses his lips to my cheek, kissing the tear away. I sigh as he presses soft kisses on my face until he reaches my mouth and takes it. I moan. My head spins as I reach for him and hold onto Jackson’s shoulders. I have what I’ve always wanted right here in my grasp. Should I just let it slip away?
“Maya, it’ll be hard, but we could still see one another.”
I pull back and stare at him. It wasn’t what I was expecting Jackson to say. Dumbfounded, I continue to stare at him as if I had never seen him before in my life.
“I know long-distance relationships are hard.” He frowns. “Unless you’re looking to make a clean break and leave everything behind.” He lets me go, and I sink back down in my seat. “I understand if you want to move on. We never really talked like we were going to. And I am older than you.”
Omigod! I almost shout it out loud. I’m in his arms again, kissing him with all my heart. “Don’t you know, Jackson? The last few months have been perfect. I’ve always wanted to be with you since I was old enough to know what a date was.” I kiss him again, and I indulge in a fantasy that I’ve always wanted if it’s only for a few weeks. Maybe I’ll tell him but not now.
I grab my purse, and say, “Let’s go upstairs.”
Chapter 8
Jackson
I get off the plane at LAX and check my phone as I walk toward baggage claim. I didn’t bother with a car service for this business trip. I rent my own car so I don’t have to wait on another person to drive me around LA. I find the driver sitting outside the designated parking spot in my rented BMW.
“How was your flight, sir?” he says opening the trunk of the car.
“It’s Jackson, and it was good.” I toss in my carry-on bag. “Thanks.”
“Here for business?” he asked politely.
I nod. “Yes. Real estate, not Hollywood. And I’m also here to see a friend.”
We stop at the rental office outside of LAX to sign the paperwork—the usual stuff. As I’m waiting, I ask the woman behind the counter, “Tell me, how far is it to Sepulveda Avenue?”
She giggles. “It’s Boulevard, and it runs north from Long Beach into the San Fernando Valley. Do you know what town?”
“Torrance.” Reluctantly, Vince had given me Maya’s new address. I had it on a folded piece of paper in my pocket. He literally gave it to me before I boarded the plane. Maya had seemed lukewarm about seeing me this trip and had promised to be home for Independence Day. I couldn’t wait that long. I hadn’t seen her in ages.
The woman behind the counter grabs a sheet of paper off the printer. Daintily, she places it on a clipboard and walks around the counter, so we’re side-by-side. She’s good-looking—dark hair, dark eyes, and lush curves—the type of woman I would’ve tried to get a number off of before Maya. She stands close enoug
h so that I’m wrapped up in her strong perfume. She points to a map, she’s printed out on her clipboard.
“I’m sure you have an app,” she giggles, “but just in case. It won’t take long in the car you’re driving.” She makes eye contact and gives me a seductive look. “You’re from New York?”
“Yeah, upstate.”
“New York’s a cool place,” she replies. “My name is Sapphire.”
I have to laugh. Not to be rude, but I’ve dated a few Sapphires in the past, and they didn’t work at car rentals, at least not at night. She mistakes my laughter for interest, and places her hand on my forearm.
“Do you have an address, Mr. Hayes?”
I lift an eyebrow, and look down on her. I wonder how sweet she’ll be when I turn her down. I don’t get the chance when the driver comes walking back into the office and rolls his eyes.
“Hitting on another customer?” he laughs. “She only goes for the guys who rent the Mercedes or the BMWs.”
Sapphire takes her hand off me, and quickly, I take the opportunity to ask the driver for directions instead. “I’ll put my friend’s address into my phone,” I tell him, “but I’d like to know how to get out of the airport parking lot first.”
He laughs, and soon I’m on my way driving toward the San Fernando Valley. The sunny weather is so comfortably warm compared to the East Coast that I almost wish I had rented a convertible. I laugh at myself. That would be so cliché, but I’m in a good mood knowing that I’ll see Maya again.
I should’ve called her first, but I guess I didn’t want her to say no. Instead I decide to send her a quick text telling her I’m coming.
I had tried to keep our relationship going but without seeing her it was getting pretty hard. At first we talked almost every day but then it gradually became less and less until she was rarely texting. Well she may not be interested in seeing me but I am going to see her. Sighing, I pull a hand through my hair. I miss Maya.