by Babe Hayes
Ring!
Paeton yanked the cord out of the answering machine.
Ring!
Paeton yanked the phone cord out of the wall.
Her head was spinning. It appeared she was destined to be a victim one way or another of Steve Kaselman and his dangerous, lovable ways.
#
That evening, Paeton and Fred were entering the Casablanca restaurant, one of Beverly Hills’ finest. She was still shaken from seeing Steve on TV that morning. She decided not to engage in any conversation with Fred about Kaselman’s latest media splash. She was quite sure Fred wouldn’t mention it either.
As they approached the maitre d’, swinging held hands, Paeton laughed vacantly, “You know, we have to eat at home sometime.”
Fred looked at her tenderly. “Right, we need to buy a house so we can cook.” He teased lovingly, “Or so someone can cook.”
“Fred. Be kind.” Paeton was not known for her culinary expertise. Her mother had always enjoyed cooking so much, Paeton rarely had the chance to prepare meals. So when she got married, her cooking entailed heavy use of microwave ovens and restaurants.
Wait a minute! What did Fred mean by “we need to buy a house?” Well, wasn’t that what she was hoping for? That she and Fred would get married and buy a house and have a normal life as she and Kevin had done? Wasn’t her goal to return to normalcy? To put bumping into men at airports behind her? Wasn’t her life, since Steve Kaselman, out of the norm? And wasn’t that an understatement?
The chutney was the best. Fred definitely knew his restaurants. The Casablanca did serve the most tantalizing Middle Eastern food. Nobody could match the lamb at the Casablanca.
Fred filled their glasses with vibrant, dark claret. He had a huge smile on his face as if he had just swallowed the proverbial canary.
“Fred, what are you up to?” But what Fred was up to was going to be no real surprise to Paeton. Her stomach tightened. She felt perspiration surface on her upper lip as Fred put his hand into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a velvet-covered box. He took one of Paeton’s hands, uncurled her fingers, and placed the box in the palm of her hand.
“Paeton, surely this is not unexpected. This is what you’ve been wanting from me since your rift with Steve.”
Now her throat was as tight as her stomach. She took a sip of wine with her free hand, staring down at the rich gold box. Her eyes met Fred’s. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Oh, come on, honey. Open it! I think you’ll like it.”
She was having difficulty getting that last sip of wine down her throat. “Like it? I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“Well, open it. Go on.”
Paeton started to release the hinged lid.
Ring!
The sound came from Paeton’s purse.
Ring!
She looked at her purse. She looked at Fred. She put the box on the table. Both of them knew only three people had her cell phone number: Rosa, Fred, and him. Rosa, ever the professional nanny, never needed to call. Of course, it could be a wrong number.
Ring!
Chapter 13
Paeton plucked the phone from her beaded handbag. She flipped it, all the while never taking her eyes from Fred’s.
“Hello?”
“Paeton, thank god you answered! Please, for god’s sake, don’t hang up.”
Paeton had never heard Steve so desperate. She looked at Fred and the box that held the engagement ring. “You’re welcome,” was all she could say under the circumstances. She could feel Fred’s intense frown. She could also feel her color change, starting at her chest and moving up past her cheeks.
“I’ve got it. I’ve got the tape!” Steve continued frantically.
Paeton’s upbringing made her lower the phone, put her hand over the mouthpiece, and say, “It’s Steve.”
Fred lashed out with “What a surprise!”
Paeton continued to cover the mouthpiece, her embarrassment intensifying. “Fred, do you think maybe—?”
Fred slapped his napkin on the table, rose abruptly, and said, “No problem. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. Please be off the phone by then.” He glared down at her. “Dinner was your idea. Remember that.” She could tell he was trying not to stomp away, but he was unsuccessful.
“I saw you on the news.” Just talking to Steve made her heart pound fiercely. She heard her heart speak Steve, even though she tried to force her brain to call him Kaselman. Her heart had never called him anything but Steve! Not after that night.
He laughed his wonderful laugh. “Don’t you love it! I can’t get enough bad publicity.”
There was a long silence. “I’ve missed you like hell, Paeton. Will you please give me that chance to show you how that goddam paper made me look like a traitor?”
More silence.
“Paeton, I love you. Okay? And I know you love me. Just meet me. Please? I got the tape. Then if you still can’t get past all this, okay. But at least give me a chance.”
Paeton’s heart was weeping. Could she trust this jock one more time? Could she put her heart and soul back in the hands of Steve Kaselman? And then have it broken some other way? Even when he didn’t mean to? Because she was afraid that’s the kind of male Steve Kaselman was. She would always love him—she couldn’t help that. But should she set herself up for total annihilation?
The silence seemed interminable this time. Paeton’s soul was aching. Why did he always affect her this way? Finally, she whispered, “Okay. Where and when do we meet?”
She could hear the tears in his voice. “Oh, god, you will? Paeton. Thank you. I love you!”
Paeton couldn’t say “I love you” back. She held her breath with her heart.
Steve continued. “Uh, we have to go to the building I broke into. The Republic Building on Sierra. But only employees can get in there on the weekend. How about you meet me there Monday morning at ten. Outside. All I have to do is go to a restroom where I hid the tape. Okay?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Paeton could see Fred coming back to the table. “Okay. Ten, Monday.”
Fred sat down, his brow knit, disappointment in his eyes.
“Bye.” She returned her cell phone to her evening bag.
She looked at Fred, ashamed. Sitting in the middle of the table was the box containing Fred’s ring. It seemed to be throbbing with a pulse of its own. Paeton felt a terrible ache in her heart for Fred too. It was a ring Paeton knew she could never accept.
#
Steve surveyed the Alice living room. Greta was back at the hotel with Ryan. Steve had kept the suite until Ryan’s room could be repainted. He had told Greta he would pick her and Ryan up after he played the tape for Paeton.
The twitch in his eye was tormenting him big-time. Would Paeton be waiting for him outside the In Your Face office building? Would the tape still be there? What did the conversation say? He hadn’t taken the time to play it when he found it. Was he really innocent? Or in a moment of selfishness, had he really blamed her? His stomach began to churn.
It was so quiet. Ryan would add some wonderful noise. But the noise Steve fervently craved was the noise of Paeton and Kelsey and Madison being with him and Ryan as a family. This place was so perfect for all of them. Just the right size and whimsy.
He checked his watch. Quarter of ten. Kickoff time!
He looked back at the room one more time before closing the door. He was trying to imagine himself and Paeton in a few minutes, listening to the tape, and then getting back together again—possibly in the Alice bedroom!
He jumped in his car and sped to the Republic Building. He almost cried in relief when he saw from his car window that Paeton was waiting for him. Her hairstyle was different. She looked as exquisite as ever, though very haggard. Steve wished he could change that. But he wasn’t thinking that far ahead. All he wanted to do was convince her that he had not betrayed her. And then he could think about how to restore them to their earlier magic.
Steve pulled ov
er, parked in a taxi-only zone, and hopped out.
“Hi, Paeton.” He stood a civil distance from her. He wanted to smother her with kisses, ravage that bewitching mouth, but he knew that wasn’t in order. Could he simply take her hand? He knew he better not.
“Hi—” and she paused a long moment, “Steve.”
She called me Steve! But her eyes are telling me to stay away. “Hi, Paeton. Thank you for coming.”
They stood wary of each other, an awkward moment between them. Finally, Steve tried out a small laugh and said, “Well, time’s a wastin’.”
He stepped in front of Paeton, and she followed him into the building. They rode the elevator to the twentieth floor. As they walked out of the elevator, Steve hoped Steedly wasn’t in the john. “Wait here a sec.”
Paeton nodded, her hands clasped motionless in front of her. She had a frightened look in her eyes.
Instinctively, he took her hands and squeezed them. “You okay?” Ka-ding! Her touch turned him into an idiot! Oh, my god! This woman! What am I going to do? Their eyes almost touched. He knew Paeton was working hard to keep them from coming together. He broke away. “Right back.”
Steve raced into the restroom. “Please be here, baby!” he said to the tape. He looked around. Good, nobody in here! Move it, Kaselman! He threw back the door of the stall where he had stashed the tape. He reached behind the toilet tank—Yes!
He quickly dislodged the digital recorder.
He made a beeline for the door. At that moment, Steedly Black bustled in with a startled “Hey, what the hell are you—?”
Steve shoved past him without a word. He grabbed Paeton by the elbow and raced her down the hallway to the elevator. The down-car entry slid open, and they jumped in precisely as Steedly came barreling down the hall after them, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. Steve smiled and waved at him through the disappearing crack in the elevator doors.
“God, Steve! Are you, are we, in more trouble?”
“Naw! From the look on old Black’s face, I think he’s the one in trouble now. Maybe we can make life as miserable for him as he’s made it for us.”
He looked at Paeton. For the first time, she smiled. It was a tired smile, but for Steve, it was something positive. “Stick with me, baby!”
A sad, resigned laugh escaped Paeton’s lips. “Right. Stick with you.”
At first Steve was hurt by her sarcasm. Then he conceded that her reaction was reasonable. He couldn’t expect her to share his ridiculous optimism. True, the world couldn’t be bleaker: Both their careers were in jeopardy; he was in criminal hot water; their once-magical relationship was in shambles. He couldn’t blame her for being sad or sarcastic. But Steve would never abandon his romantic optimism unless he and Paeton permanently failed as a couple. And he’d be damned if he would ever let that happen!
So he returned a quiet, hopeful laugh as they left the building. Something good, at least a hint of humor, had passed between them. Hadn’t it?
As they reached the street, Steve was thankful for two things: no traffic ticket on his windshield and no reporters in his face. Maury had called in some favors from his media connections and had the reporters ease off of watching the Alice house and Steve in general.
Steve held the car door open for Paeton, and she slid into the seat wordlessly. No conversation ensued as he drove them to the Alice house. When they pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, he thought he saw her wince at her first glimpse of the place. He helped her from the car and ushered her into the house. Still neither spoke. She took a seat on the sofa. Although no words were spoken, he could feel a world of thoughts and fears hanging over them.
Steve set the digital recorder on the coffee table. He inserted the tape. It needed rewinding. As it whirred to the beginning, Steve wished he could rewind disastrous past events and begin anew with Paeton McPhilomy. He wished he had met her at a cocktail party or after a game somewhere. Or maybe at the supermarket or Bloomingdale’s. Somewhere so that even if they did mix up their kids while going completely bonkers with a single gaze, they could have corrected the mistake without getting ambushed by the media. But life didn’t work that way. That only happened in the books Paeton wrote.
Click. The tape was ready to go forward. Steve had only a vague memory of his conversation with Maury. Steve chanced a quick I’ve-got-my-fingers-crossed look at Paeton, hit the play button, and backed away.
Steve heard his voice. “When she left with a whoosh, I didn’t know I had the wrong kid. Neither of us realized it. That’s the truth.”
“The whole truth?” Maury asked.
“Okay, okay. The whole truth is that I was completely ga-ga. Ba-zingo-ed. Bewitched. Messed up as I’ve never been messed up before. Christ, we went to the moon and back in nanoseconds. I swear to god she went with me, Maury. She left me in a state of total disorientation. I forgot where the hell I was and where the hell I was going. What else could I do? I grabbed up the baby that was still there and walked away in a million pieces, winding up at the damn commuter concourse. Almost missed my plane to Boston.”
“Okay, okay, I get the picture.”
“So now you see why I can’t let her out of my life. Ever.”
“Yes, I see, I see. But we have to pay attention to this bad public-relations crap about getting caught switching the kids. You could be in and out of five mil in the same nanoseconds. You understand?”
“I get it, Maury. I’m with you on this. No further explanation needed. I am determined to have both. Her and the five mil.”
The tape whirred on silently. Steve walked over and stopped it.
There! Now she knows the truth. It’s over! We can be lovers again! He was elated. He hadn’t remembered the conversation had favored him so greatly.
“See? Now do you understand? See how that son of a bitch Black pieced my words together to make it look like I betrayed you?” He started to approach her. Only one other time in his life had Steve felt this good—that night with Paeton. He would have liked Paeton to feel that way too. But she sat there, hands folded in her lap, unnervingly silent. Why didn’t she say something?
“Well?” He knelt in front of her, entreating her. He sent a signal to her eyes, trying to spark that old connection, but Paeton wasn’t acknowledging his effort. He tried again. “Well? Please say something!”
Finally, she whispered hoarsely, “I’ll drop the lawsuit.”
Steve was about to explode. She wasn’t following his script! She was supposed to come over with a forgiving smile on her lips, sex in her eyes, and give him a tender things-are-okay-now kiss. Instead, she sat there, her eyes distant.
She finally spoke. “I know what you want. But you’re not me, Steve. I have a big hole where my heart used to be. You know how a starfish loses a leg in a fierce battle, and eventually it grows back? Well, I’m not a starfish. My heart may never grow back.”
Steve bounded to his feet and started circling in front of the sofa. “Hey, wait a minute, some son of a bitch recorded my conversation, doctored it to be a total lie, and you may never forgive me?”
“I didn’t say that. I said I may never be able to give you what you want.”
“Christ, Paeton. Be reasonable. I was framed! I gave you the proof! Why can’t we be like we were?”
“Steve, I’m not going to stay if you’re going to yell at me.” She stood and moved toward the door.
Steve rushed over to grab her and decided that was a bad idea. “Okay, okay. Wait. Don’t go! Please! I’ll stop yelling.” He was still yelling as he spoke. He cleared his throat. “Okay.” He sat down very deliberately. He gathered himself and spoke as normally as he could. “I’m not yelling. I’m sitting down and being very not-yelling. Okay?”
Paeton stopped at the door with her back to him. “I’ll drop the lawsuit. I have to go, Steve. I’m so far behind on my screenplay that I may lose the contract. I’ll drop the lawsuit. But that’s all I can tell you today. I used to feel that I knew how the rest of my life wou
ld be. Now I barely know what I’ll be doing in the next moment. Please, don’t call. I’ll call you when and if I’m able.” She turned to him from the door. She tried to smile. “I’ll drop the lawsuit.”
“Well, I get the distinct impression you won’t let me drive you back to the hotel. At least let me call you a cab.”
“No, thanks. I need the exercise.”
Paeton opened the door and walked woodenly out.
Steve couldn’t believe it. According to his plan, they were supposed to be going into the wonderful Alice bedroom or, at least, out for coffee about now. Laughing, hand in hand. Giving the world the finger. She was supposed to forgive and forget. He was counting on feeling her touch again. Laughing with her again. Okay, going to bed with her again.
Steve had heard and read and even written the word “despair,” but until now he had never felt it. Despair! Total despair clutched his soul and took it far, far down to the bottom of the bottom.
Ring!
Oh, Christ! Even money it’s more bad news! “Kaselman here.”
“Steve, this breaking-and-entering thing. You’ve really run the wrong way on ComfyDype’s ballfield. They want to see us right away, and I know it’s bad, very bad news.” Steve had never heard Maury sound so discouraged.
Steve laughed raucously. “Of course it’s bad news! What the hell other kind of news is there? I’m Mr. Bad-News Kaselman.”
“Steve, this is serious.”
“Same here. I played the tape of our conversation for Paeton.”
“Great! At least you guys can get back together.”
“Yeah, right! You know what she said? ‘I’ll drop the lawsuit.’ Did she run over and kiss me in forgiveness? The answer is no. Did she smile and say ‘I forgive you?’ The answer again is no. Am I any closer to seeing her again? The goddam answer is no goddam way!”