“I’m fine. I just had a rough day at work. Mmm, the roast is really good. So, tell me why you made all my favorites.”
“Am I that transparent?” Callie laughed.
“Sometimes.”
Callie let the veiled dig slide. “I can’t help it. I’m just so excited. Guess what?”
“You talked to Kevin today?”
A spark of hope glimmered behind her mother’s weary blue eyes. “Mom—we agreed no talking about Kevin. This is about me. I got a job today!”
“You did? That’s wonderful! Where?”
“The bookstore at UALR. I applied online.”
“You did? And here I thought you hated technology.”
“I’ve got to learn before college starts, right?” Callie laughed. “Anyway, they called me less than an hour later. Had a phone interview and everything! I have to go and meet with the manager tonight at six. He’s leaving to go on vacation tomorrow and will be gone for a week, so may I take the car?”
The look of instant distrust and doubt on her mother’s face made Callie tense. God, how much longer will it be before she stops looking at me like that?
“At six? Isn’t that kind of an odd time for an interview?”
It took a few seconds to steady herself so she didn’t sound irritated. “I already told you why, Mom. Look, I understand you have no reason to trust me. Really. So how about you drive me over there and see for yourself? Okay?”
“Mighty grownup of you, dear. I’m sorry. I am trying. It’s just difficult sometimes. I imagine I’ll be a basket case when you leave for school.”
The kitchen fell silent as they both picked at their food. Callie’s appetite disappeared and so, it seemed, did her mother’s. Callie decided to change the subject. “Is today a holiday or something?”
“What?”
“You’re home early. Why?”
“Oh, well, we’ve been slow, so my boss let me go early. He said it’s normal for business to slack off during the summer. People go on vacation and such.”
Studying her mother’s drawn and tired face, Callie noticed she was gritting her jaw—a habit she did when lying. “Mikki says we are to tell each other the truth, Mom.”
A few tears raced down her mother’s cheeks before she had the chance to wipe them away. “It’s nothing, CeeCee. I just got my hours cut back, that’s all.”
“Oh, Mom. I’m sorry. Maybe you should start looking for a new job? You know, one that pays better and where your boss treats you with respect and not like a work horse?”
“I will. Now that’s enough about me. Let’s finish this wonderful meal and then we’ll head over to UALR. Maybe get some ice cream from Baskin Robbins on the way back? Just like old times?”
“Sounds perfect. And don’t worry, Mom. Everything will be okay from now on. I promise.”
“Look! I’m officially employed!” Callie squealed after jumping into the passenger seat. She waved the forms her new boss gave her to fill out and bring back Wednesday.
“That’s wonderful, honey! Did you find out what hours you’ll be working? We need to know so we can schedule accordingly.”
“Wednesday through Friday will be from four p.m. until eight p.m., every Saturday four to midnight. I start this coming Wednesday, but don’t worry! It’s only what, five miles from the house? I’ll just run until move-in day on campus. I need to step up training anyway.”
Putting the car in drive, her mother pulled out of the parking lot. “No you won’t. No way. Too dangerous, especially working that late. Until you move in, we’ll share the car. I won’t have you running these streets on foot at midnight. Guess it’s a good thing my hours were cut back, huh?”
Smiling, Callie answered, “Temporarily, yes. But the minute I move onto campus, you go find a great job and tell your boss to kiss your ass.”
“Callie Claire!”
“Sorry, Mom. So, when we get home, will you help me with these forms? I don’t want to screw them up.”
“Of course, baby. But first we must have ice cream! Mint chocolate chip here we come!”
All ready for her first day at work after changing outfits three different times, Callie paced back and forth in the living room waiting for her mother to arrive home. She picked and nipped at the skin around her nails, making them bleed—a new habit she developed in rehab.
Peeking at the window when she heard a car, she let out a sigh of relief and ran outside.
“Sorry I’m late. Bad traffic,” her mother said while exiting the car. “Had to stop and get you something to mark the day.”
Callie gasped when her mother produced her old cell phone. “Oh, Mom. Thank you.”
“Don’t get too excited now. It’s on a limited plan—250 minutes each month and less than a gig of data. It’s just for emergencies. I want you to be safe when at school and the parking lot at night.”
Swallowing a lump of tears, Callie nodded.
“This is a month-to-month plan and I expect you to pay it, okay? No freebie, no enabling, like Mikki said. You’ve got a job now, so it’ll be your responsibility. Now, I’m really tired honey so why don’t you just drive? You’ll be home by eight-fifteen, right?”
Callie smiled. It would be the first time in months she’d been able to drive alone and have access to a phone other than the land line! “Thanks, Mom. Dinner’s in the microwave, and yes, I’ll come home right after work. Promise.”
Climbing behind the wheel, Callie waved goodbye and drove to UALR, thrilled her life was finally changing for the better, and the trust she desperately wanted to regrow with her mother finally started to bloom.
“Great job tonight, Callie. You picked up on things really quick, just like we all thought. See you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Stephanie. You’re a good teacher.”
“Not like there’s a whole lot to learn here,” Stephanie replied, laughing, her wide, green eyes full of playfulness. “The best part is helping out the hunky athletes who come in here clueless and in need of assistance. Eye candy!”
Callie laughed. “I’ll be too busy studying and training to pay attention.”
Raising an eyebrow, Stephanie teased, “If you’re worried your boyfriend might get jealous, don’t. They don’t care what gets our motors running just as long as they run! Mine knows when I’ve had interactions with some sexy jock because I ride him like a bull!”
“Wow, a bit of TMI there, Stephanie,” Callie responded. “Thanks for the laugh, but I’ve got to go. See you tomorrow night.”
“Be careful in the parking lot. Creepers. Want to wait until nine when I close up? We can walk out together.”
“I’ve got to get home, sorry. I’ll be fine. Thanks, though.”
Callie left the library and headed to the car at the far end of the lot. The last rays of the orange sun streaked across the sky, making the clouds look almost like cotton candy. While walking, her thoughts wandered over to Kevin. Hearing Stephanie talk about her boyfriend made Callie want to see him. Not for sex, but just to talk and hash things out. Let the relationship end on a good note rather than a bad one.
She stopped in mid-stride, pulling out the cell phone from her purse. Her hands shook while tapping out a text. Got a job that I applied for online all by myself you were a good teacher call me around 8:30?
“You really should pay more attention to your surroundings, Kinky. Haven’t you heard parking lots are dangerous places for women?”
The sound of De’Shawn’s ominous voice from behind her made Callie’s heart pound. The car was a good fifty yards away and there wasn’t a soul in the parking lot besides the two of them. She could run, but it was doubtful she’d unlock the car and make it inside before he reached her. God, Sherry was right!
Instead of turning to face him, Callie squared her shoulders and kept walking. “What are you doing here, De’Shawn?”
He picked up his pace, pulling even. “I’ve missed you, Kinky. Well, actually not y
ou, just the money. Heard you went to rehab and got all squeaky clean. You didn’t break down and tell anyone about our business transactions, did you?”
“Did the cops come knocking?” Callie shot back, praying as she neared the car. De’Shawn produced a sick, twisted grin while shaking his head. “Then there’s your answer.”
In a flash, he was in front of her, blocking her path to the car. “Always knew you were a smart girl. Now, we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to your mom or that nerd you call a boyfriend, or shall I say used to call a boyfriend. They’ll be just fine if you play by my rules.”
She knew it was a dangerous choice to let the anger erupt, but Callie was unable to stop herself. “Don’t you dare threaten me or anyone I love, you bastard. I never said one word to a soul about where I got the pills from, but I swear to God, if you try—”
Before she could blink, De’Shawn lunged, grabbing her around the throat. The impact of her body slamming into the side of the car made stars appear. “Shut up and listen, bitch. You don’t run the show. I do. You work for me, remember? There’s plenty of money to be made here—way more than you can imagine. I want my part of the pie here on campus. I don’t give a shit if you use pills or not, but you will sell them for me.”
“I won’t,” Callie hissed, her hands clawing and scratching at De’Shawn’s face.
Squeezing harder, De’Shawn answered, “You will, or you’ll be attending more funerals. The five-hundred dollars I found in your room took care of what you owed me, but I want more.”
He let go and Callie’s body collapsed onto the warm pavement, purse, keys, and cell phone flying. She heard the tinkle of glass and knew the phone was toast. Gasping for air, stunned he’d been inside her bedroom, she couldn’t stop him when he grabbed her purse and shoved a wrinkled paper sack inside.
“Welcome back, Kinky. God, how I enjoy doing business with you!”
De’Shawn took off, running across the parking lot. In seconds, his body disappeared into a clump of trees. Crawling on all fours, Callie scooped up her purse and keys. Once inside the car, her hands shook so hard she couldn’t insert the key.
“Okay, breathe. He’s gone,” Callie whispered. “He’s gone.”
She opened the sack and sure enough, two large plastic bags crammed with white pills rested inside. The terror disappeared, replaced with white-hot fury. Grabbing them, she rolled down the window, intent on tossing them out, yet she didn’t.
De’Shawn had obviously been keeping an eye on her or how else would he have known where she worked? Knowing he’d been inside her house made the hairs stand up all over her body. She’d steered clear of all social media since coming out of rehab, and no one but her mother and the employees of the bookstore knew her schedule. The only logical conclusion was he’d been following her or had others keeping tabs on her whereabouts.
That part was bad enough, but the threats against her mother and Kevin—the thought was so disturbing Callie opened the driver’s door and threw up.
“Okay, get it together. I can’t go home like this, all freaked out. I can’t tell a soul what just happened. Just get home before Mom starts worrying. Deal with this mess later.”
Callie started up the car and pulled out onto University Avenue. She glanced at the clock, wincing at the time. It was 8:20, and she had no way to call her mother since her phone was busted.
While driving home, Callie prayed her mother had fallen asleep on the couch as she’d been doing for the last few weeks so she wouldn’t see the terror and fear on her daughter’s face.
Instead of parking in the driveway, Callie pulled up to the curb and turned the car off. Glancing at the house, she noticed the only light was from the back porch. Grabbing her purse and keys, Callie closed the door with a gentle push, hoping her mother was on the phone out back and didn’t hear her pull up. It would give her enough time to sneak inside, hit the shower, hide the drugs, and calm down before lying to her mother about what happened at her first day at work.
“Lying. Again. Shit. At least this time I have a good reason,” Callie muttered while walking up the driveway.
By the time she reached the side of the garage, she heard the sound of her mother crying. The noise sent Callie into a tailspin, fearful De’Shawn had already stopped by.
“How am I supposed to tell her, Kevin? How? Addicts don’t deal well with change!”
The words stopped her from bursting through the gate at the side of the house. Instead of running, Callie crept forward until only inches from the fence. She’s talking to Kevin? What? Why?
“I don’t know yet. I’m looking at some apartments near campus. I’m aware that’s a bad area, but there really isn’t much choice. There’s simply no money left, and I can only afford so much. Yes, uh-huh. We’ve got twenty days to leave. Would you? That would be wonderful. You’re such an amazing person, Kevin. Thank you.”
Callie heard enough. Rather than crying, she turned and ran to the front door, taking the stairs two-at-a-time. Once inside her room, she stuffed the pills in the back of her closet inside an old tampon box and then jumped into the shower.
The hot water did nothing to calm her stressed-out mind as she replayed back the snippets of what she’d overheard, along with the disastrous confrontation with De’Shawn. No matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn’t wash away the stench of her fears. The conclusions made her chest tighten: her mother’s financial woes were much worse than she realized, and Callie was screwed.
“Honey?”
A sense of paranoia made Callie’s heart thunder inside her chest, knowing her mother was only feet away from the stash of pills. “Be out in a minute, Mom. I had to take a shower. I smelled like stale books.”
“Come downstairs when you’re done and tell me about your day. Okay?”
“Sure thing.”
After drying off, Callie tossed on her favorite pajamas then stared at herself in the mirror. The reflection was the same on the outside, but the girl on the inside was a totally different story. She started shaking as the weight of the situation soaked in. “No, not now. Freak later. Go find out what’s really going on before jumping to conclusions.”
Callie left the bathroom and headed downstairs.
“In here, baby.”
Callie veered left and went to the kitchen. Her mother stood at the sink, staring out the window with a sad, strange look on her face. “What’s wrong, Mom? It looks like you’ve been crying.”
Nodding once and pointing to the table, she sat, waiting for Callie to do the same. “Yes, and it's time I tell you why. Before I do, I’d like to hear about your first day.”
“No, Mom. Spill. What’s going on?”
For the next twenty minutes, Callie listened in stunned silence while her mother talked. The house payments were too much to handle, she’d been unable to refinance, and the income from her job wasn’t enough. The foreclosure papers were served ten days prior, and they had to be out at the end of the month. On top of everything else, she’d been let go from her job.
“The official reason was lack of work, but a co-worker called me after I left today and said it was because the insurance premiums went up. I’m so sorry, honey. I know this is a lot to take in at one time—”
“Wait,” Callie interrupted. “I don’t understand the insurance part. Why did the premiums go up?”
Looking away, her mother didn’t answer. It took Callie a few minutes to put the pieces of the confusing puzzle together. “The premiums went up because of me, didn’t they? My trip to rehab?”
Tears sprang from her mother’s eyes, dripping onto the table. She didn’t move, didn’t speak, but the destroyed look on her face was answer enough.
Callie didn’t know what to say or do. Thoughts barreled through her mind at a dizzying pace. There was too much to think about; too much to stress over.
Too much humiliation and shame.
“Kevin offered to come over and help us pack. Please do
n’t be upset, but I’ve been talking to him. He’s been so worried about you, and it didn’t feel right to leave him in the dark. He loves you so much.”
The words seemed muffled and distant, as though they’d floated in the window from miles away, overshadowed by the crazy thoughts swirling inside her mind.
Kevin.
The house.
De’Shawn.
Dealing again.
Moving.
Her mother’s pain.
In a dull monotone, Callie said, “I’m not mad, Mom. Whatever we need to do to get through this, we will.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“It’s been quite a day for both of us. Let’s call it a night and tackle these issues tomorrow, after a good night’s rest.”
Rising from the chair, her mother nodded in agreement. “Good idea. I’m exhausted. See you in the morning, sweetheart.”
On autopilot, Callie followed her mother upstairs. They kissed each other goodnight and headed to their rooms. Unable to sleep, Callie paced around, biting every single nail down to the quick. She felt like a caged animal unable to breathe so she climbed out onto the roof. Even though the evening air was humid and hot, she didn’t care. She had to get outside the crushing walls.
“What am I going to do?” Callie whispered to the sparkling stars and ebony sky. “How can this be happening? Why do you hate me, God?”
The tears arrived, pouring out of her with each heave of her chest. The mental pain was more than she could stand. It felt like something had reached inside her soul, ripping and shredding it to pieces, and she knew only one way to make it stop.
Callie stopped crying and went back inside, heading straight to the bathroom. Just one. Just for tonight. I’ve got to rest before my mind explodes.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Present Day
The memory of the night she caved and started taking pills again made Callie shake her head. She hated reliving past mistakes, but at least they weren’t as bad as the intense cravings during the past three days. Those had almost driven her to the point of madness. They’d plagued her nonstop while suffering through horrific withdrawals. She wouldn’t dare set foot into any sort of rehab facility since she was on the run, fearing questions about her identity might be asked. Rather than risk getting picked up and sent back to Arkansas to prison, Callie chose to beat the monster on her own, using the tools she’d learned at New Beginnings to see her through the nightmare.
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