by Brenda Ford
The thought of Rachel thinking of me tomorrow floods me with an unexpected warmth. A heat that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Especially not with Mandy. She just leaves me cold and confused. If I really look deep inside of myself, there are butterflies as well. My stomach is flip flopping like crazy. I’m a bit of a mess.
“Well, I will be cursing yours as well. Especially when Brad starts giving me all the shit…”
I almost go to explain who Brad is to me. My boss as well as my brother. The guy who stepped in to raise me and the rest of my brothers when our parents died, while also taking on the responsibilities of the house and the business, but then I remember I don’t need to. She already knows me and my history. It’s a relief actually. I don’t like to have to explain it. It’s awkward and makes this uncomfortable. I recall the intense silence I got with Mandy when I first told her everything, But Rachel is close enough to my family to know it all.
Huh, that’s different for me. And different in a really good way.
“You might have Brad on your back, but I have Alex and you know what he’s like. Gary too!”
I haven’t really known Rachel before tonight, but we already seem to share more people in common than me and Mandy. It’s weird. I know who Gary is much more than I know some random Amber who is trying to see my girlfriend in her underwear. Those feelings circulate painfully through me, making me uncomfortable with everything that’s going on in my life right now. I don’t even know where me and Mandy stand which makes this even more painful and difficult to swallow. I’m so messed up and confused right now.
“Is this your place?” I rasp once she slows to a stop.
“Yeah, yeah. This is where I live.” She beams, unaware of the torture going on inside of me. “Time for bed. I won’t invite you in for a coffee because it’s too late for that. Plus, it might seem like I’m hitting on you…”
As soon as she says those words, the air stills around us. There is a definite change in the atmosphere. It seems to me like she’s paused because she’s scared to admit that’s actually what she wants to do. But is that what she wants? Or am I just projecting my feelings on to her? Are they even my feelings? I don’t know.
No, I warn myself desperately. No, I can’t have any feelings. This is stupid. I have a girlfriend…
Well, sort of. One who doesn’t seem to want me anymore. One who is pulling away and messaging other people about her panties. I thought I had this wonderful relationship, I assumed I was doing well in life, but the last few weeks… months, really… have told me otherwise. It seems that I don’t really have anything.
Well, nothing but these crazy feelings of lust and passion swimming through me. Sensations that are more powerful than anything I have ever experienced before. Even when I thought that I had these feelings…
Without even thinking about it, I grab Rachel’s arms and I tug her down a nearby alleyway. This is all kinds of wrong, there is no doubt about it, but I can’t stop myself now. There isn’t much room here, we’re basically pressed up against one another, every inch of us touching, and we’re staring in to one another’s eyes.
All the feelings that I have experienced before have intensified, they are almost overwhelming now, and I can tell by the way that her practically bare chest is rising and falling so fast that she feels it too. I don’t know if this is something that has been going on for a long time or if it’s brand new, but right now, it’s consumed me. It’s all of me. As a little experiment, I lean my head forwards, just to see what she will do, and she automatically rises to her tip toes to meet me. She definitely wants to kiss me too. That’s enough to turn any rationality right off.
Without allowing any more thoughts into my brain, I crash my lips to Rachel’s and I claim her. I take her for my own and as she kisses me back with as much furious passion as I’m feeling. Fireworks explode all the way through me, every fiber inside of me screams for her. This kiss only highlights just how wrong things are, just how right things could be if I allowed them, what love and lust is supposed to feel like.
My hands curl around her waist, I pull her closer to me, knowing that I’ll never be able to stop…
Chapter 9 – Rachel
This is officially the best kiss that I have ever had in my life. I can’t believe that I have Angelo Smith’s lips upon mine, that’s the first shock, but the fact that it feels so good is the second. I have obviously fantasized about this a million times, and it’s always been amazing, but this is something else. I feel him deep within me, all of me is being swallowed up whole by him. I absolutely love it. Of course, there is a part of me knowing this is all wrong and not wanting to be any part of a cheating incident… but I can’t stop myself.
I mean, he did say that things were dead in the water with them, didn’t he? This could be okay…
Oh God, it feels too good for me to stop anyway. I can’t help it. He’s too amazing for words. I took my hands around his neck and deepen the kiss, massaging his tongue with my own, wondering where this could lead…
“No.” All of a sudden, Angelo calls out in shock and pulls away from me. “No, we can’t do this…”
He started this, that’s the main issue. He pulled me in to this alley way and started things going. But it seems now from the horror in his eyes that he’s regretting everything. His eyes keep darting everywhere, he’s staring at everything but me, the atmosphere couldn’t be more different if it tried. It’s cold now and bitter feeling.
“What do you mean?” I ask him quietly, my eyes falling sadly to the ground. “You want to leave?”
“I have to leave. I need to.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “I need to get back. To go home. To…” I know that he wants to finish that sentence by mentioning Mandy, which makes my heart sink low. How can he be thinking about her when he’s with me? Clearly, he doesn’t share my obsession. “Sorry, Rachel.”
“Wait, don’t…” I grab on to his arm, but he pulls away from me almost like he can’t touch me anymore. “Don’t go.” I don’t know why I want him to stay, but I do. If he goes now, I’ll lose him forever. “Wait, I…”
“I’m sorry. Rachel. I don’t mean to be a dick, I just…” He shakes his head, sadness radiating through him.
I watch in horror as he runs away, leaving me alone. As he goes, he takes a piece of me with him. My heart burns. It aches painfully, I can barely remain standing. I know now that I like him more than anything. Kissing Angelo hasn’t gotten him out of my system, it’s shoved him further in there. It’s ignited the flame for me and dulled it for him. He didn’t want me; he has shown that more than ever before. He’s run back to her, to the woman who hurts him every single day, who is about to make the family explode. I can’t compete with Mandy ever.
What do I do now? Angelo has long gone. He isn’t coming back. I need to accept that. The best thing that I can do is accept this as a drunken mistake and take my ass to bed. I’m sure Angelo will do whatever he can to block this from his mind. He won’t ever want to speak to me again. Maybe, it will be better for him to want to block me out. If he stays away from me, then it will help me to get over him.
I fold my arms protectively across my chest and I step inside. My apartment has a hollow feeling to it. An empty cold sensation that chills me to the bone. I shiver wildly, needing to get my sorry ass to bed already. As I walk towards my bedroom, my fingers brush against my tip and I get the same tingling sensation racing through me as I did when he kissed me. The same excitement building in my chest, the thought that something might happen. But it’s silly to feel that way. Of course, nothing is going to happen. He’s probably having sex with Mandy right now. Taking all of the chemistry that I feel with him and exploding with someone else.
“Argh!” I yell out as I tear my dress off, frustration crushing me as I undress. “Fucking hell!”
I grab a night dress and throw it over my body before I climb between the sheets. I want to grab my phone, to scroll through the Internet mindlessly before I
go to sleep like I normally do, but I’m so scared of seeing something about Angelo and Mandy that I can’t. I can’t face the idea that all is happy now. That I meant nothing. That kiss to me was monumental, one of the best minutes of my entire life, something that I will never forget, nor will I be able to recreate it with someone else… there is no one for me but him. How the fuck can I move on now?
“You are an idiot,” I tell myself with a shaking head. “Why did you make it so much worse? Why didn’t you just say no? You knew that it was going to be a bad idea. You knew it would only end badly. You aren’t dumb.”
But as soon as he pulled me in to that alley way, I was putty in his hands. I wasn’t going to be able to resist kissing him no matter what happened. That was my one chance with him, and I knew that I couldn’t turn him down. I mean, my feelings for him are absolutely everything. I won’t ever like anyone as much as I do him.
“No new life for you,” I mutter knowingly. “You’re stuck in love with this guy.”
Knowing how wonderful our chemistry is just awful, knowing how good it would be to bring him inside and spend the night with him… well, it’s just overwhelming.
Without me even meaning for it to happen, my hand slides down my body towards the throbbing that Angelo left behind. If he isn’t going to satisfy me in real life, then he can do so in my imagination. At least that will be better than lying here and moping. Instead, I slip my eyes closed and imagine him with me, like he could have been, kissing me hard as we crash through the front door to my home. Our clothes peel off, shedding here there and everywhere, allowing me to really experience every inch of the electrical sensation that he has buzzing in me. All the way through me, every inch of my skin covered in goose bumps just for him.
“It’s you,” he tells me in between kisses. “It’s always been you. It couldn’t be anyone else.”
My head tilts back as my fingers become his, dipping in to the wetness in my panties and brushing along my soaking wet slit. I trace patterns over my clit, picking up the speed as I can imagine he would. He might seem under the thumb and brow beaten at the moment with Mandy, but I would allow him to be free, to control me, to love me however he wanted to. I want to know just what he has to offer me.
“Oh my God,” I rasp desperately as I feel the sensation of his mouth all over my throat, his fingers plunging deep in to me, the weight of his body on top of me. “Angelo, this is how it’s supposed to be.”
In my mind, he whispers endless words of love as he plunges deeper and deeper, his thrusting fingers hitting all the right spots as he does. He knows my body better than I know it myself and that feels wonderful. The chemistry that I’ve been feeling all night long between us intensifies ten-folds.
In between the images of us getting hot and heavy, sweaty and heady with lust, I get flashes of us laughing and joking together at the bar as well. The chat just flowed so easily between us since we haven’t had much communication before. It was as if we were old friends, proper friends, and I loved it. That’s what makes me like him even more. Knowing that we get along so well on top of everything else.
“Rachel, I want you,” he gasps into my ear. “I want to be inside of you.”
I arch my back, more than happy to give myself over to him, and he complies willingly. It might only be in my mind but I swear the sensation is different as I think about his steel rod sliding deep in to me. I let out a little scream followed by a whimper as he takes me. Softly at first, but slowly getting harder as the passion grips him. I see is face change, his expression contorts as the pleasure grips him, and of course that coaxes the orgasm from me as well. The pleasure builds as I flick my fingers faster and faster. A thick tension fills my whole body along with a fizzing heat as I drive myself further and further along, my heart hammering against my chest as I do.
This is how the night should have ended, I think desperately as it hit the edge, just before I fall. Me and him are supposed to be together. Tonight, has only proved that to me. Me and Angelo are fate.
Then I crumble and I really fall apart. I writhe desperately among the cool bed sheets as the pleasure tears my body in half. Everything that tonight has been building up to rockets through me and I yell out his name through the pleasure. Angelo’s name is the only thing on my tongue, and I can’t stop myself from screaming it out. His name is a part of him that belongs to me right now. I own it, and I don’t ever want to lose it. Since I can’t have him, that’s all I have plus the intense memory of his lips against mine.
I almost weep through the post orgasmic bliss. It isn’t the best feeling in the world. Because I’m alone, because the night didn’t turn out as I wanted it to. I just don’t know where I go from here, how I can ever claim happiness again. How can I survive the knowledge that he just doesn’t belong to me? I can’t wait forever.
My cell phone beeps, and I pathetically jump on it like it’s going to be Angelo, which of course it isn’t. He isn’t going to message me when he’s in the arms of his girlfriend, is he? Not a chance.
Sheri: Did you get home okay? Oh my God, Luke is amazing. I can’t wait to tell you all about him x
Despite myself, I do smile. It is nice to see my friend getting someone good in her life. I just hope and pray that he doesn’t turn out to be an asshole like the rest of them. I don’t want her heart shattered too.
Rachel: I’m home. Glad you got back okay. We’ll see each other soon so you can tell all xx
Sheri: He has a really nice single friend as well, so the double date is on. Luke showed me a picture and he’s hot. I think you will like him a lot. Best way for you to get over you know who xx
I honestly don’t think she saw me talking to Angelo, she was so wrapped up in Luke, and that’s the way I prefer it. I don’t need to make her angry at me for letting myself be vulnerable around him. I’m already annoyed at myself. I have thrown myself right in to torture tonight, so it can’t be a surprise that I got spat back out again.
Rachel: Sounds good. Looking forward to the double date already x
Chapter 10 – Angelo
Rachel has a really intense look in her eyes as she breaks apart from the kiss. She can’t move her head too far away from me because we’re in the tiny little dark alleyway I decided to pull her down in the heat of the moment, but that’s good. I want the heat of her body next to mine, I want to really feel her. I keep my hand possessively on her hips so she can’t go anywhere. It hasn’t been like this before, not even in the early days with Mandy, and there has to be a reason for that. I can’t let Rachel go anywhere until I know for sure.
“I want you,” she tells me seriously. “Right here, right now. I have wanted you for a very long time.”
With that, she slowly slides down my body, keeping her beautiful warm brown eyes fixed on mine the entire time. My heart thunders, my pulse racing and pounding through my body as she moves to her knees between my legs, almost in a slow-motion manner. I just can’t believe how wild this rock chick is. She’s utterly crazy and I fucking love it. This is exactly what I need, someone to remind me how fun I can be.
“Oh shit.” I nearly fall apart as she unbuckles my trousers, her eager fingers wanting to touch me. My cock lies stiff as a board against the material, needing to be touched, yearning to be pulled free. “Fuck, Rachel.”
She takes me between her soft fingers, stroking me gently, feeling me, trying to work out what I like. My fingers automatically knot up in her hair so I can keep her close to me while she strokes me. Her hand feels so good, it’s a surprise that I’m not falling apart already, exploding all over her arms and chest. I can barely hold it all in, but I’m just about managing it because I want to know what else this woman has to offer me.
“I’m going to taste you,” she breathes out, her hot breath tickling my length. “Do you mind?”
I can’t answer Rachel, she’s too much, so I just groan out in a mix of agony and ecstasy. This is enough for the stunning, sexy red head though, and he head comes towards me. At
one point, I think I hear voices of other people walking alongside the alley way but that doesn’t bother me. I have this beautiful woman at my fingertips. One who it seems is really good for me. There is no chance I’m going to let her go.
“Oh fuck.” Her lips press against my cock first, as if she’s just testing the waters, but the kiss is enough to send my head spinning wildly. Especially as she grazing the tip, my most sensitive area. “Fuck, Rachel.”
“You like that?” she murmurs, now vibrating along me. Everything she does drives me wild.
“I do. I do. I want more,” I moan. “I need more. I need everything from you.”
She parts those gorgeous plump lips of hers and wraps her tight little mouth around me. I fit perfectly in there, almost as if she was made for me. I can’t stop myself from imagining her up on stage looking sexy as hell as she bangs away on those drums while she bobs her head up and down me, taking all of me in.
“You’re too much,” I rasp, shuddering as the pleasure shoots through me. “You’re too good for me.”
Rachel is. She isn’t like Mandy, there is a real purity to her. But there’s also a devilish side of her as well. The rock and roll princess who threatens to corrupt me and tear my whole life apart. I don’t know which side of her I like best, but I do know that I want to bury myself deep inside of her right here in this alley way.
“Stand up,” I command in a booming voice. “I need to fuck you already, Rachel Weston.”
With a cheeky smile playing on her lips, she rises to her feet and turns away from me. With her front pressed up against the wall next to her, she peers over her shoulder at me and pokes out her sexy round ass. I’m left breathless, unable to even think straight as I run my hands underneath her skirt and I pull her panties down.
“Fuck me,” she growls as my hands get closer. “I want to feel your cock inside of me.”
Well, that is an offer that I definitely can’t refuse, so I grab her hips roughly and slide myself inside of her. Rachel’s wet heat surrounds me, pulling me in deeper, and I already know that I won’t be able to last long. Her body is too beautiful, too incredible, plus I already have the memory of her mouth around my cock…