by Brenda Ford
“Hmmm.” Dad taps his chin thoughtfully. “You know, I might go and wake the boy up. See if he wants to come and live with me. I might not have a fixed address at the moment, but I’m sure he would rather be with his fun dad than his stuck up prick of a sister. No bed time, no homework, no rules…”
“Seth is smarter than you. He knows what’s good for him. He won’t go anywhere.”
“Are you confident about that? Because I don’t think you can be. You must be a bit worried.”
I shake my head and try to ignore his stupidity. I’m not about to get in to an argument with this man because it won’t go anywhere. Plus, I guess a small part of me is a little bit worried that he might be right. Seth is young and impressionable enough to get swept away by all of this. He could go with Dad.
“Dad, if you want any money, then you should fight for it in court…”
“Oh, come off it,” he groans. “You know that I can’t afford to go to court. Plus, there are all legal complications. You could just give me the money now and forget about all of it.”
“Legal complications such as the fact that Mom didn’t leave you anything?”
“Fucking bitch.” Dad goes to punch the wall again but manages to stop himself just in time. “You really are a piece of work, aren’t you? You don’t need all that money. I do. Like I said I have nowhere to live.”
“You are an adult. Get a job. Fix your own life up. Do what other people do to live.”
“But I need something to get me started. Just fucking help me out, will you?”
My heart pounds as I try to work out how I’m going to get out of this without Dad doing something dreadful to me. It seems clear now that he isn’t going to leave of his own accord, so I need to kick him out. I would love to do it myself, but I’m pretty sure that I don’t have the strength. Not if he decides to fight back, which I know he will.
My cell phone. I suddenly spot it over the other side of the room, and I remember my plan from earlier to get in touch with Auntie Amelia. I should have done that already, what a damn fool!
“Okay, so how much do you want?” I ask in a hollow voice as I try to discretely walk across the room. I don’t want him to figure out what I’m up to because he won’t ever let it happen. “I will see what I can do.”
“So, you’re just suddenly coming around now?” he barks back suspiciously. “Is that a joke?”
“You want the money, don’t you? And I don’t want to have you here anymore, so why not?”
“Ah, I see. So, you are going to pay me off, so you never have to see me again? Something like that? Well, I don’t see why not. I mean, it isn’t exactly that I like you kids anyway. You are a bitch, and Seth is annoying. I would be better off without you. Especially if I get the money. So, give me fifty thousand.”
“Fifty thousand?” I shoot back in a strangled voice. “That’s quite a lot. Do you really need that much?”
“To be out of your life forever? I sure do. It costs a lot to live my life.”
Urgh yeah, I’m sure it does cost a lot to pour booze down your throat all the time. But now isn’t the time for arguing, so I simply nod like I’m considering it. I dip my head down and bend my knees ever so slightly as I grab hold of my cell phone. It’s heavy and scary between my fingers. I honestly don’t know if I will be able to contact Auntie Amelia without falling apart. This is too much for me, so before I turn, I hit nine one one instead. This is a crime, he has vandalized my home and threatened me, so the cops can help.
I hold my phone close to my side, waiting for the perfect moment to lift it to my ear because I won’t have much time, and I turn slowly back. It’s better to keep my eyes on Dad so I know what he’s doing. He’s looking at me like I have lost my mind, like he has no trust in me whatsoever, which is fair. I am about to betray him in every way possible. I force a smile on my face and try to return the conversation to money.
“So, I will get my check book…”
“Who the fuck are you calling?” he yells, proving that I’m not as discrete as I thought.
“Er, no one,” I try, but it makes no difference. He stomps towards me with fire in his gaze and he grabs my shoulders. He shakes me so hard that my body begins aching, my head throbs, and my phone falls to the ground with a clatter. Then he shoves me and knocks me down too, showing me just how capable he is of destroying me.
Chapter 35 - Oliver
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
The sound of my cell phone ringing all the way through to Ellie’s voice mail again, my stomach sinks. This is getting ridiculous now. I know that she might be ignoring me, but I’ve been calling her all night and morning and she still hasn’t picked up. Nor has she responded to any of my messages to just let me know that she’s okay. It has me worried for her. I keep thinking that she might be sick or something.
“Hi, Ellie, it’s me again…” I say pointlessly in to her voice mail. “Just trying to check in to see that you’re alright. But again, you aren’t answering. I’m on the way to the coffee shop anyway, so if you’re at work… well I will see you in a moment. Sorry for all the calls. I’m just panicking, that’s all.”
I hang up rapidly, wishing that I just hadn’t said anything because she’s going to be sick of all the messages in a moment, then I stand outside the café, praying that she’s inside. Even if she tells me to get hell away from her and to never speak to her again, at least I will know that she’s okay.
There is a giant queue, there always is. Probably because of the incredible coffee and the even better service, but I by pass it today. People make comments about me cutting the queue, but it’s easy for me to block them out. I don’t care, it isn’t like I’m here to sample the delicious beverages or anything like that.
“Hey,” I hiss at the girl behind the counter, recognizing her as the one that Ellie was talking to before.
“Sorry, Sir, there is a big queue which I’m afraid you will have to wait in. We’re short staffed…”
“Why because Ellie isn’t here?” I demand, panicked. “Is she supposed to be here, and she hasn’t turned up?”
She stops focusing on the coffee and she gives me a look. “Oh, I know you. You’re Ellie’s… friend. No, she isn’t here today, which is a real bitch because we’re busier than ever, and she hasn’t even called in or anything. Nor is she answering my damn calls. I kinda thought that she might be in bed with you.”
“Fuck.” I drag my fingers through my hair. “Fuck, that isn’t good, is it?”
My pulse pounds violently, I shake like crazy, I can feel the horror brushing over my skin, causing goose bumps to pop everywhere. My gut is now telling me that this is the right time to freak the fuck out.
“You think she’s sick?” the girl asks. “It isn’t like her to just not bother coming in.”
“I’m going to find out,” I shoot back determinedly. “I’ll go to her home and check in on her.”
“Let her know that Maria is pissed,” she calls after me as I run out. “I want to know what’s going on.”
I’m sure the whole queue is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind, but I don’t care. I have a pit of terror in my stomach, storm clouds swirling violently around. Something isn’t right here; this feels more serious than it should be. Ellie isn’t acting anything like herself at all which is awful. I really hope that it isn’t my fault.
My feet pound hard against the concrete sending shots of pain all the way up to my knees, but I ignore them. The need to see Ellie is overwhelming. It’s just lucky that I know where she lives. If I didn’t… well, I would probably do something incredibly stupid like call the cops or something, really become a psycho.
If she’s really ill, then she’s going to think that I’m crazy for acting like such a fool. I might even put her off me completely, but even that isn’t enough to hold me back. I just need to see her. To touch her.
I bang on her door hard a few times, getting louder by the moment. I’m sure all of her neighbors
must be able to hear me, but she isn’t answering. Not even telling me to shut the hell up. She would, I’m sure of it, but there’s nothing. Does she even still live here? Has she moved again and not told me? Is she going to do that every time we have sex? Run away and shut me down so I can’t get in at all?
“Ellie?” I call through the door. “Ellie, are you in there? It’s Oliver, I just want to talk. Sorry about all the calls before, I know that was a bit much. I am just worried, that’s all. I want to know that you are okay.” Still, I get nothing. I rest my forehead up against the door and continue to pray that she’s inside. “Even if you don’t want to see me again, I totally understand, just please let me know that you’re all good… please?”
I don’t hear any voices much to my disappointment, but I can sense movement. At first, I think that I must be imagining things, or that it could be a sound from elsewhere, but I soon realize that it definitely isn’t. She is in there and purposely ignoring me. I have a horrible feeling that this isn’t as straight forward as her just not wanting to talk to me. There is something darker bubbling under the surface and I need to know what...
“Okay fine,” I call again. “You don’t want to speak to me? That’s fine. I’ll go. Just know that I’ll be back. I don’t know when, but I will come back and speak to you then. But now I’m going…”
I walk away, hoping that she might open the door and peek through to see me going, but she doesn’t. I continue to leave even though I don’t really have any intention of going anywhere, but I need to make a plan. I can’t just stand outside the door all day, waiting for someone to finally open it.
“Shit,” I mutter as I finally get back outside. “What am I going to do?”
There is only really one person that I can speak to about this, who should care as much as I do, but she hates my guts right now and she’s going to absolutely destroy me for this. She told me to keep away from Ellie, so speaking to her about that very person is going to be very problematic. But I have no choice…
I call her number, my heart racing as I do, and I prepare myself for her to hate me.
“Hello?” Rosie barks, already unimpressed. “What do you want, Oliver?”
“Rosie, I have a real issue.” The terror is immediately evident in my voice. “I need your help.”
“You need my help? What after you fucked me over about a million times? After you made me fall for you and then you broke me? After we argued a hundred times about our feelings?”
“I thought that we were going to be friends,” I half whisper. “Didn’t we agree on that?”
After a beat of silence, she replies. “Okay, fine. We’re going to be friends. How exactly will that work?”
“Well, I’m at Ellie’s house right now…” I start, but of course she quickly jumps in.
“Ellie’s?” she screams so loudly; I’m forced to drag the phone away from my ear. “You are at Ellie’s house, after I told you that I didn’t want you anywhere near her? And now you’re calling to rub it in?”
“No, it isn’t like that. Please, just listen to me, Rosie.” I beg. “Please, this is urgent. You don’t understand.”
“Fuck you, Oliver,” she yells. “Just fuck you. Go to hell, okay? I hate you, I don’t want to talk to you.”
“No please, wait! Don’t hang up,” I yell. “I’m worried. Something really bad is going on.” I wait for a moment and while she doesn’t say anything it doesn’t seem like Rosie has hung up the phone either. I have managed to catch her attention for long enough to keep her on the line so I need to make my next words really clear. “I’m worried about Ellie and Seth. She isn’t answering her calls; she isn’t going in to work…”
“He hasn’t gone to school today,” she whispers back. “Mom told me. I thought that he was sick.”
“Well, they are at the house, I can hear them. But they aren’t answering the door. They might be really sick.”
“Shit. That’s not good.” Thank God it seems like family is over shadowing all the pettiness from the past. “I’m going to call Mom now and we will meet you there. Figure out what’s happening.”
This might not be any kind of truce, but I’m so glad that she’s agreeing with me. “Thank you, Rosie.”
“Hold tight, Oliver. It won’t be long, and we will figure this all out.”
As I hang up the phone, a little bit of relief floods me. I haven’t seen Ellie just yet, but at least I won’t be by myself any longer. They will be here soon, and we can sort all of this out… I hope.
“Oliver, oh my God, you’re here.” Rosie hugs me, which surprises me. Her arms squeeze me tight and she leans her head against my chest, gaining some comfort from me. “What’s going on? Have you seen anything?”
She’s winded me, it takes me a couple of seconds to get my breath back and find the words. It’s been such a quick time between me calling them and them arriving, it’s unexpected.
“I’ve just been waiting down here for you guys to turn up.” I smile at Amelia over her head. “Shall we go?”
“Yes. Come on.” Rosie pulls on my hand. “Let’s go and help Ellie and Seth.”
We run up the stairs together and all three of us begin hammering on the door. I half expected Amelia to have a spare key or something to make it a little easier, but she doesn’t. I guess Ellie hasn’t had enough time to plan things like spare keys. After this situation, she’s going to have to. This can’t happen again.
“Ellie!” Rosie yells. “Ellie, I’m sorry that I have been such a damn bitch. I didn’t mean to be an asshole about you and Oliver. I should have listened to you and talked to you. I was wrong. Please just open up.”
She doesn’t meet my eyes as she says this, so I don’t know if this is just because she wants Ellie to come out or if she really means it, but right now that isn’t the top of my priorities.
“Ellie… Seth…” Amelia joins in. “I’m here too. Can you please open the door so I can talk to you? I’m very worried and the school is as well. I just want to be able to tell them what’s happening. Nothing is going to happen. Not with me here. I promise. This will just be a civilized conversation.”
I hold on to every scrap of hope that she will just open the door already, but it doesn’t happen. The door remains as firmly fucking locked as it did before. I sigh harshly, hating every moment of this. It’s agonizing. I need this nightmare to end. I might have to break the door down to sort everything out.
“What shall we do?” I murmur to Amelia. “How are we going to get in there? We need to.”
“I don’t know, but I’m freaked out, Oliver. We need to do something.”
I glance at Rosie, and we share a knowing look. We’ve known each other long enough to understand what we mean, and it seems like Rosie agrees with me. This is going to take some drastic action to save Ellie and Seth in there. No one knows what’s happening, but we need to find out soon enough. We need to.
Chapter 36 - Ellie
I can hear them, all of them together. They have come to help me and Seth and there isn’t a damn thing that I can do. If I scream then me and Seth will both be in danger, which I can’t let happen. The night has been long and awful. My father has pushed me around on more than one occasion, not even stopping when I caved and burst in to tears. In fact, he really seemed to get some kind of kick from that. He’s a sick man.
The drugs don’t help. He’s been snorting that white powder all night long and at one point he smoked something in a pipe as well which sent him over the edge. He was unbearable for a long time. I actually hoped that one of the neighbors would call the cops because of the noise, but no one did.
Seth was actually excited when he first leapt up from his bed to find his dad still here. He thought this was a sign that we were going to be a real family for a while… but then Dad grabbed a knife from the kitchen and waved it in his face. That’s the moment he realized that his father was a pig. I couldn’t bear it, seeing his face fall and his dreams crushed, but I just can’t get the m
an out of my house. I don’t think he’d go even if I gave him money now. It seems to have gone way beyond that. He’s lost his freaking mind.
I glance towards the door once more, wishing that I could run for it and unlock it, to let my family in, but I feel Dad’s eyes upon me, piercing through me, warning me that we will both die if I do anything stupid.
Luckily, Seth gets it too. He has his lips clamped tightly together, I don’t even know if he’s breathing, never mind making any noise. It isn’t going to happen, thank goodness. I just wish that he hadn’t woke up and that he was still safe in bed. Or at Auntie Amelia’s that would be much better.
A wave of sadness washes over me as I think about my life at Auntie Amelia’s. It wasn’t always perfect, that’s for sure, but I felt safe there. I came to this apartment thinking that I was an adult and could handle anything, but now I feel like a small child who can’t deal with life. Who needs her mommy.
Oh, Mom, I think sadly. How has this happened? What is with this guy? Why him, huh?
But I will never be able to ask her. Not about any of it. The things that my dad have accused her of, the fact that she was ever with him, the fact that he’s here now… all of it. It’s a shame, but something that I will just have to come to terms with. I can’t get answers, so I just need to escape. Get away from him. This toxic ass.
“Shut the fuck up,” Dad whispers, moving over to Seth. The knife goes around his neck and he presses the blade against my brother’s skin, making me whimper. I try to shoot across the room to him, but Dad presses it harder. The threat is real. He intends to kill Set first if anything goes wrong.
“Sorry,” I mouth to a terrified Seth who is now sobbing like crazy. “I’m so sorry.”
“Ellie, we are truly worried about you,” Auntie Amelia calls through the door, making my heart bleed. “I’m scared for you and Seth. I want to come in and talk to you. Oliver and Rosie can wait out here…”