“How?”
I drew in a shuddered breath.
“Because I finally woke up.” It was the simple truth. “All this time I let my own demons and fears control me, and I listened as they screamed at me to push you away. But tonight the blinders came off, and those demons? They’re gone.” Teasing his bottom lip with my finger, I kissed his cheek once more. “Now it’s time we banish yours.”
Talk to me, I silently begged. Please…
His hands tightened on my hips. “I was four.”
I ran my shaking hands down his chest, stroking him slowly. “What happened when you were four?”
His shoulders tensed beneath me. “It was the first time I saw my old man hurt my mom.”
Four? Jesus!
“It was late, and I’d climbed out of bed to get a glass of water from the kitchen. I was halfway down the stairs when he stumbled through the front door, drunk off his worthless ass.”
I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.
“My mom met him in the foyer and started raising hell because he reeked of another woman’s perfume. She didn’t give a shit that he was sloshed or that he’d just driven that way, putting other people’s lives at risk.”
A light bulb in my head went off. “That’s why you took Mackenzie’s father’s keys tonight wasn’t it?”
He nodded. “Yeah, it was. If a grown man or woman wants to get so drunk they can’t walk that’s their business. But when they endanger other people’s lives, like my father did time after time, then I’ve got a problem with it.”
Made sense.
Being a firefighter slash EMT meant he’d been called out to more than one drunk driving collision. As a first responder, I couldn’t imagine the things he’d seen.
Not wanting him to get derailed, I slid my palms back over his shoulders, massaging the knotted muscles that lay beneath his flesh. “What did he do when she confronted him?”
“He punched her.”
I’d known it was coming, but that didn’t stop Ty’s answer from hurting any less.
I may not have had a lot of hate in my heart, but I prayed that men who abused women and children burned in the deepest recesses of hell for eternity.
“What happened next?” I asked, urging him on.
When his fingers dug into my hips, I barely withheld a wince. “Heidi…” His chest rose and fell, swelling, and then deflating. “I can’t…”
“Yes you can,” I reassured him. There wasn’t any going back now. If he needed me to push him, then that’s what I would do. “Like you always tell me, use your voice and say the words.”
He nodded, his hands tightening further. “He didn’t punch her again, but he backhanded her so hard that she stumbled backward, losing her footing. She slammed into the wall before falling.”
Jaw clenched, he shook his head.
“When her head hit the floor, the sound echoed through the house. I was terrified, but I started down the stairs anyway. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d beat the hell out of me for it, but I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was reaching her because even though she was neglectful, I still loved her.”
Oh God…
“I made it to the last step before he dropped to his knees and climbed on top of her.”
I froze.
“When he flipped her skirt up and unbuckled his belt, I quit moving. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I knew that she didn’t want it because she kept screaming and begging him to stop. But he didn’t stop. Through her tears, through her screams, through everything, he didn’t stop.”
I couldn’t choke down the sob that tore from my chest.
His bastard of a father had raped his wife…
And that was after beating her.
I could not stomach it.
“That’s not all,” he said before burying his head in the side of my neck. My tears fell rapidly when I felt his trickle down my shoulder and chest. “He knew, Heidi.”
My hands shook against him.
“I was hidden in the shadows, but that son of a bitch knew I was there.”
Dread rolled around in my chest, pinging off my heart and lungs. “How do you know?”
He lifted his head, and his tear-filled eyes met mine. “Because that sick son of a bitch looked up at me and smiled!” His words came out as a roar, and the vein in his temple throbbed. “With his dirty cock shoved in my Mom’s unwilling body, he fucking smiled at me!”
That’s when I broke.
Working at the shelter, I’d encountered countless victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. But three familiar faces flashed through my mind, one after the other, as I thought of Ty’s mom and what had been done to her.
Shelby.
Clara.
Ashley.
Face after face.
Horror story after horror story.
“Ty,” I said, my voice shaking. “What happened to your mom? I know she—”
“She got tired of him beating her ass every day and bolted. He’d apparently been doing it since before I was born, and she couldn’t handle it anymore. The only time he didn’t hurt her was when she was pregnant. At least that’s what she told me.” He turned his head, staring at the far wall. “I tracked her down a few years ago. I wanted to see her, and I hoped…”
His face twisted in agony.
“She didn’t want anything to do with me. She’d gotten remarried and had three more sons. When I told her I just wanted to talk, she said she had a real family now, and she didn’t want to be reminded of the one she left behind. Even threatened to call the cops if I ever showed up on her property again.”
I grew angrier, my fury and heartbreak mixing like fire and gasoline.
Ty’s mother hadn’t deserved the abuse she’d been handed, no woman did, but Ty and Chase didn’t deserve to be abandoned and left in the hands of a monster either.
She should have protected them…
“I’m sorry,” I cried, running my hands up his chest. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
He blew out a breath and slipped his face back into the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. Arms wrapped around me tightly, he held onto me for dear life. Almost as if he was scared I’d try to slip away.
“After she left, shit got worse. She wasn’t there for him to abuse anymore, so he started beating on me. It wasn’t anything new. That sorry sack of shit had been bouncing my head off the wall since I was a toddler, but when she abandoned us, I became his favorite target.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
It was a stupid question to ask because there was never an easy answer. The five years I’d spent working with survivors had taught me that.
There was always the fear of repercussion…
Along with the fear of not being believed.
“Who the fuck would’ve believed me?” Ty answered, mirroring my thoughts. “My father is a cop, Heidi. The school, social services, and whoever else would’ve thrown any accusation I made straight into the trash. Then he would’ve killed me for speaking up, and I couldn’t let that happen. Even as a kid, I wasn’t afraid to die, but I was scared shitless of leaving Chase alone.”
“Ty, look at me.” Pulling his face from my neck, he did as I asked. “You love Chase.”
It was a statement, not a question.
“With every bit of my fucked-up heart. That little shithead has owned me since the moment our mom brought him home from the hospital, placed him in my arms, and handed me his diaper bag.”
I made a choking sound. I’d known that Ty had been Chase’s primary caretaker, but I hadn’t known for how long.
“You took care of an infant?”
He shrugged. “Didn’t have any other choice. If he was going to survive in that house, he needed me to take care of him, to protect him… to love him.”
“You did good,” I said, my heart swelling with pride. “Chase turned out good.” Unable to resist the chance to tease him, I kept talking. “He’s sort of dens
e in the head and a bit of a smartass, but he’s good.”
My attempt at humor fell flat.
“Being a smartass is a lot better than being broken,” he mumbled, his jaw ticking. “I took my old man’s belt more times than I can count to keep Chase whole.”
“He beat you with a belt?”
“One look at my back is proof of that.”
Wait. What?
The world around me slowed.
“Your back?”
Another nod. Then, “You haven’t seen it?”
I shook my head. “No.”
How have I not seen his back?
“I mean, I saw you take off your shirt at Brantley and Clara’s to play football that day, but you were at the other end of the yard. And then in my sister’s kitchen, you gave me your shirt, but I didn’t watch you leave because I was in a fog thanks to that dang kiss you planted on me seconds before.”
Climbing off his lap, I stood.
“Stand up,” I urged, wrapping my arms around my belly. “Let me see.”
There was no hesitation as he stood and reached behind him, grasping a handful of his shirt in his hand.
Before he could pull it off, I grabbed the hem and held it tight. “Wait.” My hands shook as I inched forward. “Let me do it for you.”
I didn’t wait for permission before sliding the material up his torso and over his head. Clutching the warm shirt tight, I took a step back. “Okay,” I said, preparing myself for what I was about to see. “Turn around.”
He turned, giving me his back.
With that one movement, what remained of my heart shattered.
Eighteen
Heidi
I stared at the raised scars that marred Ty’s entire back, from the bottom of his shoulders to the top of his butt. One after the other, they stood out against his tanned skin, the scar tissue a testament to the torture he’d experienced and the abuse he’d survived.
My entire body shook as I traced a finger over them, wishing I could erase each one, along with the pain that had come upon receiving them.
“Ty…” I placed my palm against the middle of his back. “These are from the buckle”—my chin wobbled, and my voice cracked—“not the leather.”
His shoulders hunched, the shame he felt obvious. “It was always the goddamn buckle.”
“H-how?” I shook my head, disbelief washing through me. “How could he do t-this?”
“Because he’s a fucking monster.”
“No,” I cried. “He’s the damn devil.” I meant every word. “How d-did you…” My wavering voice trailed off as I took a deep breath, one tumultuous thought after another spiraling around in my head. “How did you even survive? I don’t…” I gulped another breath down in an attempt to ease the tightness in my chest.
“I don’t know.”
His unsure response only made the heart-wrenching pain blooming in my chest become more virulent. “You didn’t deserve t-this.”
Sliding my hand to his side, I leaned forward and dusted my lips against one scar, followed by another.
Ty tensed, his body drawn taut.
Calling on every ounce of courage I possessed, I stood tall. “You survived hell, Ty…” Another kiss. “I think it’s high time you experienced a little bit of heaven.”
He turned, meeting my stare.
Confusion flitted across his face.
My arms slid around his back. “You once told me that you wouldn’t stop chasing me until you had my heart in your hands and my body in your bed.” I paused. “I’m about to give you both.”
I didn’t give him a chance to react before planting my hands on his bare chest and shoving him backward. He stumbled, then fell onto his bed; the frame creaked under his heavy weight. “Heidi, what the fuck—”
Before he could finish the question he was about to ask, I latched onto every bit of the self-confidence I’d fought so hard to gain, and grabbed the hem of my shirt, ripping it over my head in one smooth move. I dropped it to the ground beside my feet before popping open the button adorning my shorts.
My eyes never wavered from his.
Tugging the zipper down, I pushed the frayed denim down my smooth legs before kicking them to the other side of the room, uncaring where they landed.
My skin burned as Ty raked his hungry gaze over my body.
Biting my lower lip, I reached behind me and unlatched my bra with a quick flick of my wrist.
The lacy material slipped down my arms and floated to the floor, revealing my naked breasts to Ty’s hungry eyes for the first time.
Running on a combination of need and desire, I moved to the bed and knelt between his spread legs.
I offered him no explanation as I untied his boots and pulled them from his feet, followed by his socks.
My mouth began to water as I ran my palms up his muscled thighs and unbuckled his leather belt, then unfastened the silver button holding his well-worn jeans closed.
After lowering his zipper, I stood and climbed onto the bed above him, hovering my body over his.
He said nothing as I cupped his face and dipped mine, taking his mouth in a kiss that caused my toes to curl and my heart to soar.
Nipping his bottom lip, I slid my hands into his hair and tugged on the strands.
He groaned into my mouth, and I swallowed down the sound, preparing myself to devour everything he had to give.
I’d pushed him away for far too long.
For over a year he’d needed me, but I’d been too busy fighting his advances at every turn to notice.
Now, no longer blinded by my fear, that was coming to an end.
I was done running from him…
Done running from us.
Pulling my mouth from his, I slipped my hands from his hair, wrapped my fingers around his wrists and lifted his hands to my waiting breasts. “Touch me,” I said, my body abuzz with anticipation. “Please.”
“Heidi,” he said, stopping an inch from my quivering flesh. “Baby, if I touch you there…”
“… you’ll lose control,” I finished for him.
He jerked his chin down in a shaky nod. “I won’t ever touch you without consent, but if you aren’t ready to have my mouth between your legs and my cock deep inside your pussy, then you need to get off me.”
He glanced down at my breasts, want written all over his features. A wicked smile tipped my lips in response.
The heat filling Ty’s eyes made me feel powerful and strong; two things I wasn’t accustomed to feeling.
I’d spent the majority of my life hiding behind a plate of armor I’d constructed from every tease and taunt that had been slung my way since I was a kid.
Hiding made me feel weak.
But I was far from it.
That truth became clear as day when I looked down at one of the strongest men I’d ever known and realized that I had the ability to bring him to his knees.
I was strong, I was mighty, and I was about to give Ty Jacobs the one thing he wanted more than his next breath…
Me.
Releasing his wrists, I rolled onto the mattress next to him, hooked my fingers into the sides of my panties and pushed them down my legs, just like I’d done my shorts.
Taking them into my hand, I tossed them onto the floor and climbed back atop him.
Hands resting on my thighs, I sat straight, uncaring that my body was bare and on full display.
If it were any other man beneath me, my naked butt resting on his thighs, I would have been scared out of my cotton pickin’ mind.
With Ty, there wasn’t an ounce of fear strumming through my veins.
I may have been wading into unfamiliar waters, ones I’d never navigated before, but I had zero reason to be afraid.
This was Ty.
My Ty.
Reaching up, I released my hair from the band securing it in place and shook out my inky locks, loving the way each strand tickled my sensitive flesh.
“Fuck me,” Ty mumbled, his hands going
to my hips. “Are you trying to kill me?”
I shook my head, whipping my hair all around me, and showing off. “No.” My palms rested against his chiseled abs. Scoring his skin with my nails, I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. “But I just might if you keep making me wait.”
His hands ghosted up my sides, his touch whisper light. Dropping my head back, I closed my eyes and spread my thighs before lowering my center onto his opened jeans.
I moaned, feeling his hardness beneath me.
“Ty,” I whimpered, shifting my hips forward, then backward. “Touch me.”
Though soft-spoken, the demand was clear in my voice.
His big hands cupped my breasts, and I gasped, snapping my head up. Meeting his eyes, I ground down on him and leaned forward, forcing his rough palms to scrape across my pebbled nipples.
The sensation was completely foreign to me.
After only one small touch, I was ready to beg for more.
Once he was inside of me, I’d be ruined.
Of that, I was sure.
A gasp slipped past my lips when Ty leaned up without warning and took one of my nipples into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth.
Liquid heat pooled between my legs and my thighs spread wider as I shifted my hips, trying to line myself up with his thick cock.
We’d only just begun to touch, but my body screamed for release as the tension inside me spooled tighter with each pull of his lips and flick of his tongue.
“Ty,” I moaned again, his name a plea on my lips. “Please, I can’t…”
My words trailed off when he moved his mouth over to my neglected breast, and his steady hands drifted down my body before sliding around to cup my bottom.
I squirmed as beads of sweat formed along my skin, evidence of the inferno that blazed inside me, lighting my skin on fire.
“Tell me I can have you, Heidi,” he said, releasing my nipple with a pop. “That I can have all of you.”
My heart swelled while tears filled my eyes.
Moments before he’d spoken about not touching me without my consent, and after learning what he’d witnessed as a child, I understood why he needed me to say the words aloud.
Every Wrong You Right: A Redeeming Love Novel (Book 6) Page 13