‘They must hate me. They must really hate me—Sebastian and Noemi. If my parents had never found me, they would never have been in New York. They would never have had the accident. Life would still be good. The business would still be in safe hands.’ He sucked in a shaky breath. ‘It’s my fault. All my fault.’
This feeling had been sitting heavily over him like a dark cloak from the second the accident had happened. It haunted his dreams at night, had sat on his chest like a heavy weight during the funeral, and hindered every step he’d taken in the snow to go and meet his brother and sister.
Guilt was horrid. Guilt was like having something drain the life out of you slowly but surely. At least that’s what it had been like the last few months.
‘Of course it’s not your fault, Leo. How could you have known? How could you ever have predicted that? It was just a horrible, horrible accident. And stop saying that. That’s the second time you’ve said it. It’s not your fault. Stop believing that.’ She shook her head. ‘You said they’d spent most of their lives searching for you. It sounds as if they would never have stopped.’
He tried to take in what she was saying. In his head he knew it probably made sense. But he just couldn’t accept it. Not yet.
‘From what you said about the funeral, it sounds like your parents were very popular.’
Leo nodded his head. ‘Oh, they are—they were. You might have heard of them—the Cattaneos.’
A frown creased Anissa’s brow and a second later he saw the flash of recognition in her eyes. Most people in Europe had heard of the Cattaneos.
‘The jewellery people—your family are the jewellery people?’
He sighed and leaned back in the chair. ‘Yeah. That’s why things are so hard right now. They named me in their will.’
Anissa shook her head. ‘But so they should, you are their son.’
Leo closed his eyes for a second. She made it sound so simple.
He let out a long, slow breath. ‘Apparently, they did this a long time ago. They put a clause in their will to say that I have to assume the controlling stake in the family business for six months. If I don’t accept it, or try and walk away during that time, the business gets dissolved.’
Anissa’s eyes widened. ‘What? No. That’s terrible. It’s an awful position for you to be in.’
He nodded. ‘I know. Imagine how Sebastian and Noemi feel. Mystery brother appears out of nowhere and gets given the ability to ruin the family business completely. Is it any wonder Sebastian is angry? I can’t help but imagine how I’d feel if the company I’d spend my life building got handed over to someone else.’
He leaned his head back against the leather recliner. ‘I have no idea what happens next. I’ve been on my own for so long. But the question I have to ask myself is do I really want a family? My mother and father aren’t there now, and they’re the people I’d really wanted to form a relationship with. So, with Sebastian and Noemi, this hasn’t been the best of starts. I’ve been left in a charge of their family business—how they can trust me, or me them? Let’s face it, they have to be nice to me for the next six months—whether they want to or not.’
Anissa moved and sat on the edge of the chair next to him. After a few seconds she threaded her fingers through his hair. It was an intimate move. The move of someone who cared. ‘Could it be that you’re just feeling overwhelmed by everything? It sounds as though it’s all happened so quickly. You didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to your parents properly.’
He was drawn by her touch. His hand automatically wound its way around her waist and he pulled her towards him, sliding her from the armrest and onto his lap.
She put her hands on either side of his head and pressed her forehead against his. ‘Leo, who have you talked to about all this?’
He breathed slowly. ‘Just my lawyers. I’ve been trying to find a way out without destroying the jewellery business.’
Her eyes fixed on his and she was so close her eyelashes were brushing against his skin. ‘I meant who have you talked to about this for you, Leo. Not for business. Not for legal reasons. Who have you spoken to for you?’
He gave his head the slightest shake. ‘No one.’
It sounded so lonely. It made it sound as if he had such a solitary existence.
Words choked in his throat. ‘I’ve seen how close you are with your parents. I’ve never had anything like that. I don’t even know how I should be with my brother and sister. I phoned Noemi earlier today. But it felt so stilted—not her, me. I just don’t know how to have that kind of conversation. Not yet. Not while all this business stuff is hanging over our heads.’
‘Leo, I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. And this time of year—Christmas—always seems to magnify things.’ Her hands wove back through his hair and she gave him a smile. ‘But I want to tell you one thing. You are good enough, Leo. You’ve always been good enough.’
Her lips brushed against his cheek and his head instinctively turned to capture her lips with his.
Heat flooded through him. There was so much electricity between them—it had been there from the very first time they’d met. But now it was more. It was deeper. The connection stronger. And he liked that. It meant so much. That feeling of finally connecting with someone. To want to feel her skin under his. He wanted to feel the heartbeat in her chest against his.
Whatever he’d done today, however mixed up and guilty he’d felt about everything, it seemed that Anissa had a more forgiving heart than he could have hoped for.
She tugged at his jumper, pulling it over his head as she stayed on his lap, matching his every kiss. Every cell in his body was roaring. It wasn’t just the attraction. It was the empathy and understanding. Her words. Her reassurance. The complete and utter belief in her eyes when she’d looked at him and told him that he was good enough. It had made his heart soar in a way he’d never felt before.
This was new. This was all new to him.
And no matter what happened, whatever decision he made about the family business, something in his heart was telling him that for the first time in his life he’d found something that could be worth holding onto.
And as he picked Anissa up and carried her to his bedroom, he’d never felt surer of anything in his life.
CHAPTER EIGHT
WOW. FOR THE first time in for ever her muscles ached in good ways instead of bad.
Last night she’d come home prepared to be angry at Leo. But one look at the expression on his face as he’d crumpled in front of her had almost been the end of her.
She’d had no idea what he’d been going through. She couldn’t imagine the devastation of losing her parents—or the set of circumstances he’d described to her. Every part of the story had made her heart twist in her chest a little more at what Leo had missed out on. Every word had made her relish the good relationship she had with her parents. How must it feel to have never had that? And when it finally seemed like a possibility—to have it ripped away?
No wonder he was devastated. No wonder he was all over the place.
Now she understood the bravado and business face that Leo tried his best to keep in place. It was his mask. The thing that held him together.
Because he didn’t have anyone else.
He didn’t have anyone to share things with. His new-found relationship with his brother and sister had never had the chance to develop—and, thanks to the contents of the will, possibly never would.
But it was that overall feeling of not being good enough that she could relate to most.
It lit a little fire inside her. He was good enough. Surely his family would see that? Surely everyone could see it?
‘Hey.’
The voice beside her made her start. She rolled over in the bed to face a sleepy-eyed Leo. Darn, he was sexy in the morning.
‘Hey,’ she replied as her
lips automatically turned upwards.
‘What do you want to do today?’ he said huskily.
‘Do I still get to play tourist?’ She was almost holding her breath, wondering what he would say.
‘Absolutely. Tell me where you want to go today and I’ll take you. Tonight I’d really like it if you’d come with me when I have dinner with a business associate.’
‘You would? Do you think he’ll be okay with me being there?’
‘He’ll have to be. Joe is the reason I came back. He’s playing hard ball on a business proposal that I thought we’d wrapped up.’ Leo lifted one of her hands and kissed it. ‘Who wouldn’t want a smart, intelligent lady at their table? He’ll have to understand that I’m entertaining my guest. Anyway, I think he’ll like you. Who wouldn’t?’
She couldn’t help but be flattered. Chalet girl by day...girlfriend by night? She still wasn’t quite sure.
She nodded. ‘Where’s dinner? What do I need to wear?’
He pulled a face and groaned. ‘Did I make a huge mess of things yesterday, giving you a credit card and telling you to buy something?’
She nodded. ‘You might have done. But don’t worry. The ballgown is sorted.’ She’d been offended before when he’d said his PA would find her something, but now she’d much rather sightsee than spend the day shopping. It was time for a compromise. ‘How about you give me the number of your PA and I can tell her what size I am, what colour I prefer and what style of dress I like. I’m pretty easygoing and, as long as it fits and covers me, I’ll wear it. That way neither of us has to go near a clothes store today.’ She leaned a little closer. ‘Anyway, I’m all about the water today. I have something much more fun in mind.’
One of his eyebrows rose. ‘The water?’ He was obviously curious.
She nodded but didn’t give anything away.
Leo leaned over to kiss her. ‘Your wish is my command. Now, let’s go and have some fun.’
It only took her ten minutes to get ready and have the conversation with Leo’s PA. She switched on the coffee machine while Leo was showering and fired up his computer to check her messages.
Her heart gave a little leap as she noticed the email from Hans straight away.
The email was detailed. It gave her a full outline of what her role and responsibilities would be. They had a clear job description for her with a wide remit, complete with salary and expenses—more than she could ever have imagined. She’d be right at the heart of the championship skiing committee.
But not as a competitor.
Part of it made her feel happy. She’d never have thought they would have considered her in a million years. But the other part of her brain was irrationally insulted. They assumed she’d never get back to professional skiing. Surely they knew she was training again?
Almost automatically her hand started rubbing her leg and her other hand reached for her handbag and froze. She was looking for painkillers. The ones she took every day.
The ones she currently didn’t need.
She stopped and pushed herself up from the chair, filling a glass with water while she waited for the coffee. Taking the painkillers had become automatic.
Except for...now.
She did a few gentle stretches. The truth was since she’d got on her feet again she’d never stopped training. She’d thought she just had to learn to live with pain and medicate it.
She’d never actually imagined that if she’d stopped skiing the pain wouldn’t be there any more. How stupid was that?
The machine clicked next to her and she exchanged Leo’s full cup of coffee with her empty one. She inserted a new pod and pressed the button as she tried to process her thoughts. Was she reaching for something she could never achieve? Was she damaging her body for a dream that would never come true?
Tears pricked in her eyes as she looked out over the snow-dusted city. Out there was a world of possibilities. Maybe she needed to consider her options a little more rationally—take the emotion, history and heart out of things—but could she do that?
Leo appeared at the door smiling, rubbing his hair with one towel, another wrapped around his waist.
He fixed on her with those bright blue eyes. ‘Brilliant, I smell coffee.’ His fresh, clean scent drifted around her as he moved beside her and shot her a sexy grin. ‘So, Anissa. Surprise me. What are we doing today?’
* * *
She was definitely infectious. And he liked it. He liked it a lot.
They started by taking the Staten Island Ferry past the Statue of Liberty. But one sighting wasn’t enough and Anissa wanted to do the whole tourist thing. So they took the boat to Liberty Island and climbed the stairs to the pedestal, statue and finally the crown.
‘Isn’t it great?’ she whispered as they looked out over New York Harbor and Manhattan.
‘It is, isn’t it?’ he agreed, wondering why he’d never done this before.
She nudged him. ‘It’s freezing today. Do you think the Hudson will be frozen?’
He thought for a second. ‘Parts of it could be—why?’
She smiled. ‘Because it might make where I want to go next even more special.’
‘And where’s that?’
She kept grinning. ‘Not saying. I want it to be a surprise,’ she said teasingly. ‘I’ve checked the directions and I’ll tell you when we get there.’
* * *
An hour and a half later he frowned as he looked at a sign in front of him. ‘You want to go here? Really?’
‘Are you joking?’ She held up her hands. ‘Of course I want to go here.’ She pointed to the river. ‘Look, a submarine surrounded by frozen ice, how cool is that?’ She gestured to the hangar high above them. ‘In there is a space shuttle. Have you ever seen a space shuttle before? Touched one? I haven’t. And I can’t wait.’ She spun around and pointed directly above. ‘And up there, are the old war planes. Don’t you remember that movie? The one where the guy is the last man left in New York with the zombies and he plays golf from the top of one of the war planes?’
Leo frowned, taking a few seconds to place the film, before it finally clicked in his brain. ‘Of course!’ He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. ‘You’re just a big kid really, aren’t you?’
Her cold nose brushed against his chin. ‘Maybe I am,’ she said quickly. ‘Or maybe I’m just reassessing things. Deciding what’s important.’
The look in her eyes as she said the words tugged at his heart. There it was again. The sign that they were on the same wavelength. She lifted her hands and rested them on his shoulders. She licked her lips. ‘Maybe we both need to have a think about things. Tell me more about your chat with Noemi yesterday.’
He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t help it. ‘It was fine. She was chatty. Asked lots of questions. Mainly around when I’d be back.’
Anissa nodded her head. ‘She wants to get to know you better, Leo. It’s a natural response. And I’m glad.’
He nodded. ‘I guess. It was apparently a dream of Mother and Father’s that they would have all their children together around the table at Christmas.’
Anissa took a few seconds. ‘Does Noemi want to fulfil that dream?’
He nodded. ‘But isn’t it too late? They’re gone.’
She gripped his shoulders firmly. ‘But you’re not gone. Noemi and Sebastian are not gone. This is your family, Leo. The people you should get to know. The people you should get to love.’
She was right. He knew she was right. But it just seemed like such a big leap into the unknown.
She kept talking. ‘Christmas is a really special for families. I always love spending this time of year with my mum and dad.’
‘Are you going home for Christmas?’ Something panged inside him. He wasn’t quite sure how he wanted her to answer this question.
She shook her head. ‘I promised
I’d work. I’m going home a few days before Christmas then coming back on the twenty-third. It will be fine. My mum will make Christmas dinner early and we’ll celebrate then.’ She gave a shrug. ‘I always keep my commitments and someone has to work.’
She’d be there. Inside his heart gave a little leap. If he decided to go back for Christmas, Anissa would be there. Somehow that made things not seem quite so daunting.
She tilted her head to one side. ‘Noemi was the easy one to call, wasn’t she? The person you really need to call is Sebastian.’
He let out a wry laugh. ‘How come you never beat around the bush? How come you just go straight for the jugular?’
She laughed too. ‘Because life is too short. And, anyway, you know your brother was angry about the will. I bet he was hurt. He must have spent his whole life working for that position and now he feels as if it’s been ripped away from him and all his hard work counts for nothing.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘What’s Noemi’s stake in this?’
‘She’s a silent partner. But I’m not sure how happy she is about that.’
Anissa put her hand on his chest. ‘You don’t know what else is going on in their lives—apart from the fact they’ve just lost their parents and found out about a secret brother, there could be other stuff.’ She stood up on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear as she hugged him tight. ‘Take a breath, Leo. Take a chance. Once they get to know you, they’ll think that you’re great.’
His stomach gave a flutter. He’d never, ever had anyone support him as much as Anissa was doing now. And he wanted to reciprocate. He wanted to do the same for her as she was doing for him.
But that could mean asking her questions she didn’t want to be asked. Asking if her she really could make it back to championship skiing. And right now the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Or damage the most valuable relationship he’d started to form.
He kissed her swiftly on the lips and lowered his voice. ‘Okay, tourist, how would you like to see the inside of my submarine?’
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