The teenage boy sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, but fished the book out from under the register anyway. I tried to focus on the names in front of me and not the smell of the boy on the other side of the counter. Someone really should explain deodorant to him. Pregnancy had heightened my senses, so the thirty seconds it took to scan through the “Os” seemed to take an eternity.
I found the address I was looking for and jotted it down on a folded map I’d pulled from a kiosk by the door.
“Hey,” the kid protested.
“Don’t worry, I’m buying the map,” I handed him the book. “…just as soon as I get a drink.”
I grabbed myself an orange juice from the cooler then snagged some nachos for good measure. Gabrielle made a face that plainly said she wanted a snack, too, so I handed her my nachos and went to make some more.
By the time I piled our goodies up on the counter, the boy seemed quite perturbed with me. I wasn’t sure what transgression I’d committed, and to be honest I really didn’t care. I was becoming ever-more apathetic and I found that a little unnerving. All this time on the run was turning me back into the creature I had been before my escape.
Outside, we spread our map on the hood of the El Camino and weighted it down with drinks and plastic nacho containers, searching for the street I’d scrawled on the edge of the paper.
“Here it is,” Gabrielle tapped the map, nearly knocking her drink off in the process.
“Good eye,” I commented, trying not to smile as she quickly stabilized the soda. “So we’ll make a left out of here and then a right at that next stoplight. Right?”
“Sure.”
“That’s comforting.”
“You’re the adult here.”
“In theory.”
She smiled at me and collected her snacks before disappearing into the car. I tried unsuccessfully to refold the map twice before giving up and shoving it behind my seat. It took me another couple of minutes to stash my drink and find a place to balance my chips; then there was the whole matter of finding a comfortable way to sit. Gabrielle just shook her head through the whole process, as if she was a little unsure how I managed to function in life being as slow as I was.
By the time my seatbelt clicked into place, I was beginning to wonder the same thing. The bulky beast I had become was not quite as efficient as the spry creature that had lived off roots and fish caught by hand for forty days last spring.
And yet it was the bulky beast that was going to lumber into the lion’s den to rescue a hateful blonde? My plan seemed to have a few more holes than I’d initially acknowledged now that I looked at it in that light.
The big engine roared to life when I cranked the key. Gabrielle and I exchanged a look and set off in search of our street.
A few minutes later, we were counting down addresses on the little houses that passed us by. The houses stopped but the road stretched on. We followed it, figuring there wasn’t much else we could do.
I’d just about decided to find a spot to turn around when a house peeked through the trees ahead. I knew without seeing the numbers, it was the one I’d been looking for.
I parked the El Camino behind a rusty green Pinto, sending a couple of chickens scurrying to get out of my path. As I climbed out and stretched my back, the thick swamp air seemed to wrap its fingers around me. Even in the dead of winter, there was something decidedly different about the air here. I looked at Gabrielle, but my attention was immediately drawn back to the house by the sound of the screen door banging shut.
Chapter Twenty-Three
We stared at each other for a while, rooted to our spot. Maybe it was the shock of seeing the other on the outside that anchored our feet in place. Who knows?
I also couldn’t say which one of us moved first, but we must have because we met somewhere around the broken-down front gate in a tearful embrace. We cried and clung to each other and cried some more. In the back of my mind I registered the sound of Gabrielle letting the tailgate down to have a seat but I couldn’t seem to let go of Mary long enough to introduce the two just yet.
This woman had been my lifeline for a long time. Now, with my new-found world crumbling down around me, it felt really good to be in her presence again.
“I’m so sorry I left you there,” I begged forgiveness.
“Thank you so much for getting me out of there,” she shook her head as if to say no apology was needed. “If you hadn’t left that night, we’d both still be there.”
“I don’t know why I ran; I just did. The Chicas had me, and once I started running from them, I just couldn’t seem to stop…”
“I heard. It was the talk of the place for a really long time.”
“Please tell me they didn’t hurt you after that.”
“The Chicas? No, they gave me a pretty wide berth after you broke Dawn’s nose.”
“But Conrad said things weren’t good for you after I left,” I was confused.
“The C.O.s gave me grief, but that’s because they thought I was in on it with you,” Mary shrugged. “It wasn’t much worse than any other day. I think Conrad just wasn’t prepared for what it would be like in there. Seeing it on Law & Order is one thing. Being there is another.”
“True,” I smiled a little at that, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Look at you… you’re reproducing again!” Mary held me at arms length and took stock of my appearance. “You didn’t waste any time, did you?”
“Speaking of reproducing,” I turned and held a hand out to Gabrielle. “This one was significantly smaller last time you saw her.”
“And it was from a distance at that,” Mary opened her arms to Gabrielle. “It’s good to finally meet you little one.”
The term was amusing coming from Mary, who was barely two inches taller than Gabrielle. To her credit, my daughter hugged my friend and let the comment slide.
“You are two of the strangest convicts I have ever met,” Gabrielle shook her head at both of us.
“Met many convicts in your day?” I challenged.
“Lots. You know Conrad—he’ll leave a kid with just about anyone.”
“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”
Mary ushered us inside and insisted on feeding us even though we were both still full from the nachos we’d wolfed down in the car. Her family surrounded us, eager to meet me and Gabrielle. I supposed I should worry about so many people knowing who and where I was, but I had the distinct impression this crowd wasn’t one to turn me in.
Given our own heritage, neither Gabrielle nor I were what you could call pampered, and we were used to living in close quarters. But even we couldn’t get over how many people seemed to live in this little house. It was like a clown car. Everywhere you looked, there was a red-headed, green-eyed O’Donnell. Occasionally, someone with brown or blond hair would walk by and I’d feel a certain amount of reassurance that the family tree did have at least a fork or two in it.
It was good to see Mary happy and healing. What surprised me was how my throat constricted as she and her family gushed on and on about Charlie. I guess I hadn’t realized just how much I’d tried to tuck any thoughts of him out of mind. But now he was there, at the surface, an image of him dancing in my mind’s eye and a lump the size of a golf ball forming in my throat. The more people talked about him, the more I absentmindedly rubbed my stomach.
And then my stomach bumped me back. I stared at it in disbelief for a second, and then to my complete mortification, I could no longer keep the tears from pouring from my eyes.
Gabrielle stared at me in worried shock. Mary was instantly at my side, rubbing my arms and telling me everything would be okay. Then everyone was talking at once, offering their own reassurances. I felt like a total fool.
“No, it’s okay… I’m sorry. It’s just, the baby moved for the first time. I wish Charlie could have been here...I miss him… I’m okay,” I tried to formulate a coherent sentence that would put their minds at ease. “I ju
st really miss Charlie.”
“You haven’t seen him since this whole mess started, have you?” Mary’s mother, Louise, sympathized.
“I think I’ve lost count of the days.”
“Six weeks and two days,” Gabrielle quickly supplied. The number felt like a splash of cold water. Six weeks? Would this ever end? My shoulders sank and I sniffed. I’d waited ten years, what was six more weeks?
“You know what? We’re being rude. You girls need to get some sleep,” Mary straightened and declared. Suddenly the room was a-flurry with O’Donnells as the living room was turned into a guest room. Gabrielle and I both climbed gratefully into the couch bed. I wanted to talk to Mary. There was much to talk about, much to do. But now was the time for sleep. In the light of a new day, the pain of Charlie’s absence would fade. The bone-weary feeling of being trapped in a never-ending nightmare would ebb. Everything would seem clearer in the morning.
“Mom?” Gabrielle interrupted my self-reassurances.
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“You rub your belly when you miss Charlie. Did you notice that?”
“No, I hadn’t… I guess I do.”
“The baby makes you think of Charlie, doesn’t it?”
“I guess you could say so,” maybe if I weren’t so tired, my brain would have kicked in a little sooner. But I was tired and it wasn’t until I heard her muffled sob that it occurred to me the track her mind had taken.
“You know, I think I will go live with Conrad… when this is over, I mean,” her voice trailed off.
“Oh, baby girl,” I rolled over and pulled her into my arms. “You know what I think when I look at you?”
“What?”
“That God can make a miracle spring from the darkest night. And you are a miracle, Gabrielle Langston. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You make the sun shine for an awful lot of people.”
“But how can you look at me and not think of him?”
“Because hard as I try, I just don’t see him in you. I see me. I see Conrad. I see my mama and daddy. But not him. Trust me, I’ve tried.”
“You’ve tried?”
“I didn’t want it to sneak up on me sometime, you know?”
“I guess that makes sense,” her tone suggested it didn’t really.
“I can’t explain it, baby girl. But in my mind, you belong to the Langstons and no one else. Well, except maybe the Russells,” I smiled against her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The baby in my stomach fluttered like butterfly wings. Gabrielle sighed contentedly in my arms. It occurred to me that life could certainly be worse.
All the same, my dreams were an eerie mixture of fences, alligators, and hazel-green eyes that once were kind but now seemed tired. I followed his voice down endless hallways but the shadows always seemed to take him further and further away. It was useless. I was just running in circles.
“Mom,” Gabrielle nudged my side and I woke with a start. “Mom, wake up. You’re dreaming.”
“I’m up,” I assured her. “Sorry if I woke you up.”
“It’s okay. Do you have bad dreams a lot?”
“Sometimes more than others,” I admitted. The first light of the sun was peeking through the canopy of trees. There was no use going back to sleep now; surely there would be work that needed to be done soon. I rolled over to my back and absentmindedly rubbed my belly. The baby stirred at my touch and a smile played upon my lips. I pictured him here. I could almost feel his fingers glide along my skin, his thumb as it brushed my lips. If I concentrated, I could remember the way his breath could make electricity shoot through my body.
“You know, you could call him,” Gabrielle handed me my phone. “You have the technology.”
“I’m trying to save my minutes.”
“Just call the man.”
“Bossy little thing, aren’t you?” I took the phone, considering her words.
“I take after my mother. Now call him.”
“Yeah, maybe I will,” I sat up to put my shoes on.
“Tell him to say hi to Cara for me.”
I felt bad calling so early; I was probably waking him up. But the relief of hearing his voice made the guilt flee.
“Hey sweetie—everything is okay,” I quickly reassured him. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Oh darlin’ I can’t even tell you how much I miss your face.”
I wanted to cry again at the sound of his voice. “How are you?”
“Lonely. I miss my wife.”
“Your wife misses her husband. A lot.”
“How are you?”
“The baby moved. Well, I’m sure he’s moved before now, but I felt him move.”
“Really?”
“Last night.”
“I wish I could have been there.”
“I know. I mean, you wouldn’t be able to feel it yet, but I wish you’d been there.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” his voice felt like a caress to me. We didn’t talk about legal cases or next moves for once. We just spent the next ten minutes talking for the sake of hearing the other’s voice.
I wasn’t sure if it helped, or served only to stoke the fire. I needed this to be over. My impatience did serve one good purpose; it reminded me I was still alive. It kept me from slipping back into the trance that had gotten me through my years at Dixon.
“Wanna go for a ride?” Mary poked her head into the living room. “Mama home schools my youngest brother. She thought maybe Gabrielle would like to go on their field trip with them today, if that’s okay with you.”
Gabrielle looked hesitantly at me. I nodded encouragingly back. It would be good for her to spend some time with another kid around her age. Besides, I needed to talk to Mary alone.
After breakfast, various adults scattered to work and Louise headed to the Bayou Country Children’s Museum with Gabrielle and Nick. Mary’s grandparents puttered around the house. An AM radio station droned on in the background.
“We’ll be back after lunch,” Mary shouted to no one in particular, then grabbed her keys off a hook by the door and tugged me along after her.
We folded into the green pinto I’d parked behind the day before. When I offered to move my car, she waved me off and just pulled through the grass.
“Sometimes I think I should be mad at you for scaring the life outta me, but I’m just so happy you’re alive I can’t seem to be angry,” Mary shook her head.
“I didn’t plan that night,” I felt a little defensive.
“I know, I know. Still, I was just sick when they said the gator ate you. It was horrible.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I had nightmares that bad things were happening to you because I wasn’t there. I never stopped worrying about you.”
“That was real sweet of you to send your brother to look in on me.”
“Well, it was sweet of him. He did all the work.”
“And Charlie, how did you ever find him? He’s an angel.”
“I tell him he’s my angel all the time,” I agreed. “And I think it was divine providence that sent that man my way. You should meet his daughter; she’s a cherub, too.”
“I think you know what’s happening in my world. Why don’t you fill me in on yours?” Mary parked the car overlooking Bayou Lafourche and turned to face me.
“Wow… where to start…” there was so much swirling through my mind it was hard to put it into an organized sequence. I took a deep breath and did my best to relay the events that had led up to that moment.
When I was done, she looked a little dazed. That expression was shortly replaced by one of determination.
“You might not have any interns at your disposal, Kali…”
“Neena,” I interrupted.
“Fine, Neena… you might not have interns like this Rachel person, but you have a whole slew of O’Donnells ready to serve.”
From the steel in her eye
s, I knew it was useless to argue. Instead, we began to discuss what was next. There was a certain justice in it—we could both feel it in the air as we sat in that rusty old car discussing how we could topple the rich, important men who’d thought nothing of erasing the lives of two insignificant women.
Whatever invisible strings had pulled me here, I was glad for it. For the first time, I didn’t feel like a convict on the run. I was a woman with a mission and a life to reclaim.
Chapter Twenty-Four
After we’d sat in the car long enough to make my rump fall asleep, we went into town to grab a bite at the local diner. Then I ran into Wal-Mart to refill my stock of prenatal vitamins and to buy more minutes for my phone. On the way back to Mary’s house, I put a call in to Rachel to see if she’d found anything out.
“She’s definitely living there, but I can’t tell if he’s treating her well or not,” Rachel informed me first thing. “As for junior’s past, finding victims isn’t hard. Finding ones willing to talk on camera isn’t even tough. Finding the ones willing to testify in court, that’s a whole new ballgame.”
“Maybe if enough talk on camera, that would help shake something loose,” I suggested.
“I’m walking kind of a fine line, there. The more I flash your face on screen, the more likely you are to be found before you’re ready.”
“I appreciate the consideration.”
“I’m not quite as heartless as Conrad makes me out to be.”
“Don’t worry about Conrad. That’s just his way of pulling your pigtails.”
“Excuse me?”
“Never mind. Have you found anything on Daniel?”
“Just the usual gossip fodder. People wonder where his money comes from, what happened to his first wife, what happens to the string of blondes that go through his house… nothing concrete yet. Certainly nothing that would shut him up. He has some seriously powerful friends, too. The guy gives me the creeps, though. I know we’ll find something. We just have to keep looking.”
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