All My Love, Detrick

by Kagan, Roberta

  Chapter 141

  Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp

  Near Celle, Germany

  When the doors to the train rattled open and the sunlight flooded in, Jacob was momentarily blinded. He heard the harsh voices of the guards yelling, “Beeilen, Schweine!” (hurry up, pigs), as the crowd rushed through the door. The force of their pushing swept him along with them. Once outside, Jacob searched for the rabbi, but the guards would not tolerate his hesitation, and one of them hit him on the back with a club, telling him to move along. A pain shot through Jacob’s shoulder where the blow had landed as he followed the line, which had begun to enter the barbed-wire enclosure. Once inside, the prisoners' hair was shaved, and then they were ushered over to another line where they waited to enter a hot-air delousing machine. Standing in the broiling sun for hours, waiting, Jacob felt dizzy and drained. He continued to scan the large masses of people in search of the rabbi, but to no avail.

  After the delousing, the captives, herded at gun point, received their uniforms and entered the already overcrowded barracks. The odors on the train had been horrific, but they could not compare to the stench that pervaded these rooms. Emaciated men slept on the floors without blankets, their skin stretched across their skeletons so tightly that it looked as if the bones would soon pop right through. Anywhere Jacob looked, he saw people coughing or vomiting. In the background, he heard the guard instructing those who’d newly arrived to find an open space. Again, Jacob tried to locate the rabbi, but did not see him. Finding a small area between a teenage boy and a man appearing somewhere around forty, Jacob sat down.

  “The man who used to sleep here died last night. We think he had cholera.” The middle-aged man scratched his head.

  “Thanks, I’m glad you let me know the good news.” Jacob observed the crusty sore, dripping blood where the man had scratched it. Then he realized that the man’s entire skull was covered in red, angry bumps, some covered over with scabs.

  On the other side of him the boy lay quietly. A pang of sadness shot through Jacob as he smiled at the youngster.

  “Hello, my name is Jacob.”

  “I’m Benjamin, but my friends call me Benny. You know, like Benny Goodman.”

  “Ahhh, the American musician.”

  “Yes, right.” Benny perked up. “You know American music?”

  “A little bit, but not as much as I would have liked to. It became illegal to listen to it and I didn’t want any trouble.” Jacob laughed. “I guess I could have listened…it seems I have trouble anyway.”

  “I guess we both do.” The boy pointed to the yellow star on his arm. “If you’re a Jew in Europe you have trouble.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “Poland. I was in Auschwitz for the last three years, but as the Allies are getting closer, the Nazis are moving us into camps in Germany. I don’t think it will be too long before the end of all of this. The Germans know they’re losing the war. I just hope I’m strong enough to make it to the end.”

  “You’re young. You’ll make it.”

  “I hope so. There’s no food here, and no water. It’s filthy with lice, and everyone seems to be suffering from one illness or another. From what I understand, this camp was designed to be a sick camp. The Nazis were sending all of the diseased prisoners here. Now there are sick and healthy, all together. So the healthy….get sick.”

  “Well, you won’t get sick.” Jacob smiled. “You’ll be all right.” He patted the boy’s arm.

  After a time, the middle aged man introduced himself, “I guess since we are going to be neighbors, I should tell you my name. I am Leon, from Hungary.”

  “Good to make your acquaintance, Leon. I am Jacob, from Berlin.”

  “German Jews…they think they are something special…ehhh. Always putting on airs, you Germans, like you are some kind of a higher class of Jew. Well…here you are dying with the rest of us.”

  Chapter 142

  Ravensbrook Concentration Camp

  90km North of Berlin

  “Being pretty is dangerous here. If you are chosen to go to the brothel and the other girls find out about it, they will beat you to death.” Simza, the young gypsy girl, gazed at Leah. “See that one over there?” Simza indicated a large heavyset woman prisoner with a massive bulbous nose and thining dark hair. Her small blue-green reptilian eyes darted around the room looking for a victim. “That’s Dagmar. She’s the ringleader, and she is meaner than a hungry badger. Be careful to stay out of her way.”

  Simza ran her fingers through her long, curly black hair, her dark eyes studying the new girl who had been placed in the bunk beside hers.

  “Why would anyone be jealous of someone being forced into a brothel? It sounds like the worst thing that could happen.”

  “Yes, I agree with you. But, you see, the girls who are sent to the brothels are fed better food and treated much better than we are. A girl like Dagmar has no chance of being chosen; she is lucky they haven’t done away with her yet. I think the only reason they even keep her around is because she dominates the others and keeps them all under control. Sometimes I think she works directly with the guards.”

  “You’re very pretty. Do you ever fear that you’ll be selected?”

  “Yes, of course… My biggest worry is that I will be sterilized. There is forced sterilization here, especially if you’re sent to work as a prostitute. They don’t want anyone to get pregnant. If that should happen, the girl is immediately forced to abort. One of my friends was married and already with child when she came here. She tried to keep it secret, but she started to grow a big belly. When the Nazi guards found out what was happening, they took her to the doctor, who performed a quick abortion. She died. Most who are treated here at the hospital, for anything, wind up dying. Try not to irritate the female guards; if you do they usually send you for use in the medical experiments. Those are terrible. See that woman over on the other side of the room? They did an experimental surgery on her leg, and now she can’t walk without limping anymore. She tries to hide it, but I have seen where they cut her, and it’s red and swollen. Getting worse every day. Soon, she will die.”

  Leah took a deep breath. She’d planned to tell Detrick, when he returned from Munich, that she carried his baby in her womb. Now, thoughts rushed at her with terrifying speed, as she asked herself how she might protect that precious life from all the evil around her that could snuff it out.

  Chapter 143

  Berlin

  Half way through the stack of files on Konrad's desk, Detrick found one folder for Leah and another for Jacob. It surprised him that Konrad had separated them. But, as he read further, he realized why. Plans to send Leah with the first transport going to the brothel at Gusen were clearly indicated; therefore Konrad had sent her to Ravensbrook, the all-women’s camp. It was from Ravensbrook that the females for sexual slavery were selected. Unable to breathe, Detrick continued thumbing quickly through the papers to discover that Jacob had been sent to Bergen-Belsen.

  With trembling hands, Detrick reached into Konrad’s drawer where he knew the letterhead paper would be kept. Then, placing the flashlight next to the typewriter, he pecked out two letters, forged Konrad’s signature and sealed them with his seal. Detrick’s knees buckled, and his chest tightened. Forcing himself to breathe, he grabbed the car keys, only to have them fall from his hand. Picking them up, he grasped them tightly, his knuckles white with the force, and he raced out to the car.

  The stillness of night lay upon Berlin, causing Detrick to cringe as the sound of the car motor broke through the calm. Quickly removing his shirt, he replaced it with the jacket to his uniform. Then, with as much self control as he could muster, Detrick strained himself to refrain from speeding as he set out on his way to Ravensbrook. First though, he must stop back at the Mueller’s house and find clothes for Jacob and Leah.

  Chapter 144

  Thoughts and terrors flew at him like runaway aircraft, crashing into each other in the midnight sky. All
of the "what-if’s" imaginable fought their way into his consciousness. How long had Leah been at Ravensbrook? Had they hurt her? Was she still alive? If she were dead, nothing mattered anymore; he would just as soon die, too. Detrick swallowed hard, pushing his feelings back. If he allowed fear to take over his mind, he would never be able to play the part he must in order to do what he could to save her life.

  Chapter 145

  Ravensbrook Concentration Camp

  “Heil Hitler,” the guard addressed Detrick as he entered.

  “Heil Hitler. I am Grupensfuehrer Detrick Haswell. I’ve been sent here to retrieve a Jewess for Obersfuehrer Konrad Klausen in Berlin.”

  “Do you have documentation?”

  “I do.” Detrick handed him the sealed letter on Konrad’s letterhead.

  The man tore the envelope and read. “You have come so late at night?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry. I was supposed to arrive earlier, but I got tied up. I must deliver the Jewess by tomorrow morning. As you can see by the letter, she is an expert pianist. My superior is hosting a special luncheon, and he wishes for her to entertain. My guess is I will be returning her to you tomorrow evening, following the festivities.” Sweat trickled down the collar of Detrick’s uniform, but he continued to meet the man’s eyes without wavering.

  “There is no one here of authority to grant permission for this. Perhaps you should return in the morning.”

  “Impossible. He wants her to practice through the night. There are to be no mishaps at the gathering tomorrow. You have the letter…that should suffice for your superior. Just explain the situation, and I will have returned her by nightfall. Besides, between you and me…what is one more Jewess?” Detrick laid a few reichsmarks on the table in front of the guard. “My job is at stake here. I need to be sure not to disappoint Obersfuehrer Klausen.”

  The guard laughed and nodded in understanding as he stuffed the currency into his breast pocket. “Wait here. I’ll have someone go and bring her back.”

  The white-faced circular clock on the wall ticked loudly. With each movement of the hands of the timepiece, Detrick felt his heart flutter. Above him he saw a picture of Adolph Hitler and wondered how one man had started such a snowball of horror. Either the guard would return with Leah, or Detrick would be arrested, and soon he would find out. If he were arrested, Detrick worried that he would never know what had become of Leah. He ran a nervous hand through his golden hair.

  Chapter 146

  Simez was attempting to teach Leah to make dolls when the male guard entered the barracks.

  “Shh…stay quiet… These guards come in here at night, when everyone is gone, and force themselves on us.”

  Leah and Simez curled quietly into their beds hoping they’d not been seen or heard.

  A gruff male voice called out, “Leah Abdenstern. Is Leah Abdenstern here?”

  Leah’s heart beat wildly.

  “Shhhh…don’t answer,” Simez whispered.

  “Abdenstern!” the guard called again, this time louder and more demanding.

  “She’s over there.” Dagmar stood, bearing a resemblance to a hippopotamus as she indicated Leah’s bunk.

  The hard clank of the guards' boot heels hitting the cement floor terrified Leah, and her eyes filled with tears.

  “This one.” By one arm, he lifted Leah entirely in the air.

  “Yes,” Dagmar answered.

  “Gut.”

  Dragging Leah from the room, he pulled her through the mud outside, and all the way into the main office.

  A door slammed, unnerving him, and Detrick jumped.

  “Grupensfuehrer Haswell, is this the one?” He roughly pushed Leah forward, and she tripped. Detrick’s heart broke as he saw her fall to the ground. It was all he could do not to pick her up and take her into his arms, not to knock this man into the next world. But he knew if he were to save her life, he must continue with this masquerade.

  “Yes, I believe it is, from the photographs I’ve seen. Thank you. I will have her back here before nightfall tomorrow. You need not even mention it to your superior. By the time he notices she is gone, I will have brought her back.”

  “That’s a good idea.” The guard winked at Detrick as he massaged his breast pocket where he’d placed the bribe.

  Detrick took Leah’s arm and feigned authority. “Let’s go. Quickly.”

  Leah could barely contain her joy at seeing him. When they got into the car she wanted to kiss him, but he told her to sit in the back in case anyone looked out the window. Then he drove off.

  “Sweetheart. Are you alright?” The tightening in his chest finally began to give way.

  “No, I wasn’t, but yes, now I am. Now that you’re here.”

  “My God, Leah. I was so afraid. I was so afraid they’d hurt you or worse.”

  “Detrick, I want to kiss you. I want to hold you.”

  “Soon, darling, soon. There is a pile of clothes on the floor, under the seat. Change from that uniform. Then, when you are in regular clothes, I am nothing more than a Nazi officer out for an evening with my girl. It will look less suspicious if we are stopped. And once we get to the Swiss border, I will tell them that I am taking you with me on special business concerning fine art. The Nazis are hiding stolen art in Switzerland. The border patrol is aware of it, and they know not to ask questions.” He handed her a bag filled with bread and cheese. “Eat this, you must be starving.”

  “Papa is in trouble, Detrick.”

  “I know. I have it all under control love. Do you trust me?”

  “More than anything or anyone in the entire world.”

  Chapter 147

  Leah fell asleep in exhaustion with the motion of the car as they sped towards the Swiss-German border. She awaked just as the guard gave them the right to enter Switzerland. Although it took a mere second to cross, the intensity both she and Detrick felt made them both think their lungs would burst as they held their breath. Then it happened. They were free of Nazi rule. They’d entered Switzerland.

  Detrick drove through the little border town and found a small hotel, and paid for the entire month. Then he took Leah up a winding staircase to a small room on the second floor. Although the cost had proved substantially higher, he had insisted upon a private bath within the room rather than use the communal one at the end of the hall. Once inside, he began to run the water, filling the tub.

  “I thought you might like a warm bath.”

  Grateful, Leah did not say a word; she just nodded. She shed her clothes and stepped in. Detrick knelt beside the tub and soaped up a washcloth, gently running it across her body. Bathing her as if she were a baby, he took the soap and shampooed her hair, rinsing it carefully to avoid her eyes.

  “I’ve never had anyone give me a bath before.” She smiled.

  “I wanted to make you comfortable.”

  “I know. You always do so much for me, Detrick.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  He lifted her into his arms and covered her with a towel. Then he carried her to the bed. Tenderly, he kissed her.

  “When I got to the house and saw you were gone, I thought I would die.”

  She could not answer. Tears streamed down her face.

  “I found you, my darling, my love. I give thanks to God that you are alive.” He kissed her again and again, the passion of their feelings bringing them together as one.

  After they’d finished, he held her close to him for a long time. Their hearts beat in unison, their breath synchronized, as they lay wrapped in each other’s arms upon the little bed. Outside a light rain fell, the drops dribbling down the window pane.

  “I’m pregnant, Detrick.”

  He moved his body down to where his eyes could meet hers, so full of emotion he could not speak. Instead, he kissed her and held her face with his hands. A single tear fell from his eye into her drying hair.

  “Leah,” he whispered, hoarse with emotion. “Leah. My God, I am so happy.” />
  Chapter 148

  Berlin

  “Heil Hitler.”

  “To the Fuehrer.”

  “To the Fuehrer.”

  “To the Reich.”

  “To the Reich. May it last 1000 years.”

  The toasts continued through the night. Konrad drank far more than usual, and the alcohol had begun to take effect. By four in the morning, he knew it would be necessary to request a driver to take him home.

  Chapter 149

  Jacob searched tirelessly for Rabbi Stern and the Mueller family, but found only Ebner Mueller.