“I’ll be right there,” Kitty called back.
Kitty quickly concluded her correspondence. But before helping Seletha, Kitty slowly walked outside to put the letter at the mailbox. Afterwards, she strode to the kitchen, smelling the sour cream pound cake Seletha had just taken for the oven.
“You’re moving mighty slow,” Seletha said.
Seletha’s light green dress appeared soothing against her caramel colored skin. Her build was slim and angular, but her eyes soft and kind. As always, she was smiling. Kitty still couldn’t understand how Esther could have produced such a daughter.
From the freckles on her cheeks to her curly red hair, everything about Seletha smiled. “You up to walking with Ash today? She asked. “Or you think you two should just read and talk for a while after lunch?”
“Oh, I can walk, Miss Seletha.”
“Well, don’t you be pushing yourself,” Seletha admonished kindly.
****
Just as she’d finished setting the table for lunch, Kitty gazed outside through the large picture window in the dining room and saw the mailman. Seletha went out to meet him, then carried in a large stack of correspondence. After flipping through it, Seletha handed Kitty a letter. “I think everything’s ready for company, so go on read this before Ash gets here.”
Kitty thanked Seletha, and then hurried to her bedroom after seeing that the letter was from Betty Jean. She closed the door and settled onto her bed. The mattress springs squeaked loudly, as though in pain, but Kitty ignored the sound and eagerly ripped open the letter.
Dear Catherine,
Hope you and the baby are well. I’m pleased to tell you that Thomas gets more excited about being a father everyday! But don’t be offended. He did say that he hopes the baby doesn’t look too much like white, or too much like Ash. I don’t care what he or she looks like—I just can’t wait to love it! You be sure to keep eating right and get lots rest!
Here’s the latest news from school. Believe it or not, Russell has finally started dating someone! She’s a freshman student who seems very nice. Her name is Thelma and she’s from Arkansas.
Kitty paused from the letter for a moment. How wonderful for Russell, she thought. He’d been devastated when she broke up with him months earlier. Now Kitty hoped he’d be happy since he’d found someone new. Kitty picked up reading where she left off.
But Catherine, as nice as Thelma is, Russell isn’t completely over you! He’s always asking about you, and wants to know if you’ve started dating anyone. Seems like he’s still carrying a torch for you!
Kitty rolled her eyes. She hoped this wasn’t true. If only he could see me now, she thought, he’d drop that torch and run away as fast as he could. Kitty put down the letter. As she hoisted herself from the bed, the springs seemed to heave a sigh of relief.
Kitty studied her reflection in the full-length mirror behind her bedroom door. Though she’d only gained thirty pounds, she felt like she’d packed on at least a hundred. She turned her protruding belly to the side.
She wondered if her waist would ever be twenty-two inches again. She was too young to start looking like poor Aunt Izolla. Would she look like she’d just had a baby once she returned home? Kitty doubted she’d snap back to 115 pounds right after the delivery. Although she’d gone away pregnant and not showing, would the truth remain hidden forever? Probably not, Kitty sighed. Joy Hope was a small town and people talked.
Kitty rubbed her lower back with one hand, then picked up the letter with the other.
Maybe Thelma can help keep Russell’s mind off of you. I’ll let you know how their romance progresses. Catherine, I know you’re worried about arriving home around the same time as the baby. But please don’t worry any more. Mama and I have a story to explain the situation. We won’t actually say anything until the baby shows up. And when it does, we’ll tell everyone that it belongs to an unmarried relative in another state. If anybody asks, Mama insists that the “relative” be from Daddy’s side of the family. Thomas and I will say that we’ve volunteered to raise the baby as soon as we get married. But prior to the wedding, Mama will keep him. She’s already arranged to miss the last month of teaching so she’ll be available. I hope this puts your mind at ease. I miss you. School’s not the same without you being here. I’ve got to run or else I’ll be late for class!
Love,
Betty Jean
Kitty folded the letter and placed it on her nightstand. They could make up all the stories they wanted, she thought, but it wouldn’t take too long to put two and two together. Kitty exhaled deeply as she thought about her predicament.
While in 86, she’d had lots of time to reflect on her future. Though she didn’t really want to end her relationship with Ash, she felt she had no choice. What kind of future would she have with him? What kind of future would she have at all? She had aspirations of being more than just a white man’s kept woman. Ash could claim they were married all he wanted. But they weren’t—not in anyone else’s eyes, and especially not in the eyes of the law.
Kitty had thought about applying to a new college. The school year was almost over. In September she’d start fresh somewhere else, preferably in a different state. Today she’d force herself to tell Ash they couldn’t go on. But she’d told herself that last week, and the week before that. Why, she wondered, did she have to love him so much?
Kitty glanced at her wristwatch. It was almost 12:00. Ash would be arriving soon. The hardwood floor creaked as she walked to the black walnut dresser. She looked in the large rectangular mirror and touched up her hair and makeup. Her maternity dress was a long ivory colored muslin with short sleeves. She didn’t want Ash to see her swollen ankles. The swelling had started a few days ago, and now her ankles resembled an old woman’s.
“Catherine.” Miss Seletha knocked at her door.
It moaned softly as Kitty opened it. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Ash is here.” She smiled.
“I’ll be right there, Miss Seletha. Thank you.” When Seletha walked away, Kitty closed the door slightly and looked in the full-length mirror one more time. Ash told her that being pregnant gave her a radiant glow. Unfortunately, Kitty felt like she’d ballooned significantly since last week, and with dark circles under her eyes, she looked tired. She shrugged her shoulders. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice.
****
Ash sat in the parlor, amazed by Miss Esther’s nimble fingers. Her knitting needles never stopped moving. Baby blankets, afghans, scarves? Ash had no idea what she knitted, but she was always knitting something.
She looked just like a white person, Ash thought, with her fair skin, gray eyes and the silver hair she wore swirled in a bun on top of her head.
With her little round face, little round spectacles, and little round cheeks, she reminded Ash of a chipmunk queen. Because of arthritis, she rarely moved from the large paisley print wingback that resembled a throne. The disease had only ravaged her legs. They were stiff and swollen, and to Ash, her puffy feet appeared as though uncomfortably stuffed into her tightly laced black shoes. Esther wasn’t tall, but her miniscule stature appeared powerful against the backdrop of the imposing chair.
Upon Jeremiah Ashton’s death, each of his children had inherited 200 acres, including Esther, the child born to his slave mistress. Esther had married an industrious farmer, but after his death, over twenty years earlier, she’d sold off most of the land.
Devastated after her only grandchild’s death from damage done by a back alley abortion, Esther was inspired to create an asylum for unwed girls. Instead of selling her last twenty acres, she kept them. Her spacious house could accommodate up to six girls, and here they could live in seclusion, while pregnant without being branded as outcasts.
“So, Ash,” Esther looked at him over his spectacles, “your parents still don’t know you’ve been coming up here each weekend since Catherine arrived, do they?”
“No, ma’am. Not unless you told them.” Ash smiled, as he leaned bac
k into the soft beige upholstery of the large round back sofa.
Seletha rocked slowly in a red velvet rocking chair that creaked peacefully as it moved. “Mama, why do you have to give Ash such a hard time?”
After becoming a widow several years earlier, Seletha had settled back in 86 to live with her mother and help with the ministry. Although Esther believed her mission in life was to instill the fear of God in these girls, so they’d never repeat the same mistake, Seletha provided them with the sympathy and understanding they needed.
Esther ignored her daughter. “Do your parents know anything about those--grandiose plans of yours? Or the fortune you spent on,” she looked toward his shirt pocket, “what you just showed us?”
“No ma’am. They don’t know about any of it. But--I’ll tell them when the time is right.”
“There won’t ever be a right time for that, young man,” Esther said.
“Now, Miss Esther, I disagree,” Ash began, but before he could go on, Kitty walked into the room.
“Hello, Ash.” She smiled. As he stood up she said, “You look especially handsome today.” Usually, Ash wore casual clothes for his visits, but today he’d worn a brown poplin suit with a red and gold tie.
Ash smiled as Kitty approached him. “Thank you, Kitty.” He then said politely, “It’s good to see you.” They shook hands. “And you look especially beautiful as always.”
Kitty beamed. “Thank you, Ash. And it’s good to see you too.” They continued shaking hands as they gazed longingly into each other’s eyes.
“You can let go of her hand now,” Miss Esther barked.
****
Kitty’s back ached while she and Ash, with Miss Seletha chaperoning a short distance behind, walked from green rolling hills into lushly wooded acreage dotted with wild persimmon. A light shower had fallen earlier and now the heavy air around them smelled woodsy and wet. They walked by a peaceful, smooth flowing stream. The water tumbled gently over the smooth rocks beneath its narrow path.
Kitty enjoyed walking around Miss Esther’s land, especially with Ash, but today the walk was difficult. Along with dull back pain, she trudged along on legs that felt like flour sacks were tied to them, and the queasy feeling in her stomach only made things worse.
Ash had left his jacket at the house. After about ten minutes of walking, he’d rolled up his shirtsleeves. Even in the shade the air was hot and muggy. They liked walking for at least thirty minutes, but today, after twenty, Kitty was exhausted.
Ash looked at her concerned, as they approached a stand of cherry trees. “Do you need to stop?”
“No.” She smiled, as she reached toward a slender tree trunk and held on for a moment. “But I could use your hand to pull me along.” When Ash moved closer to take her hand, she stopped him. “I better make sure Miss Seletha will allow that.”
Kitty turned toward Miss Seletha, about 20 yards behind, and asked permission.
“Well…” Seletha hesitated. “I suppose that’ll be alright. But I’ll be watching.”
Kitty glanced at Ash muttering under her breath, “I’m already pregnant. Not like you can do any further damage by holding my hand.”
****
Once back at her mother’s place, Seletha sat in a white rocking chair on the large wrap-around porch. She called this the lookout position. From here, she had a perfect view of Catherine and Ash as they spent time together in the front yard. Her mother’s house sat secluded high atop a hill surrounded by oak trees and long leaf pines.
Seletha gazed into the bright blue sky as a barrage of peaceful white clouds rolled by, then settled back comfortably in her chair to observe her charges. They’d read for a while, and then peek toward her to make sure she wouldn’t see them steal a kiss. Seletha knew what they were up to, and it was harmless, at least with a “sleeping” chaperone nearby. Since they really were in love, she’d pretend to sleep, for just a few minutes, to give them a little of time alone as a gift.
Seletha smiled. Ash, with his smart self, had figured out what she was doing, but Catherine still hadn’t caught on.
****
Standing on the front lawn, Kitty watched as Ash spread out an old patchwork quilt made by Esther’s mother. After they sat down, Kitty carefully arranged her dress to hide her ankles. Then with their backs to Seletha, Kitty read aloud from Gone with the Wind.
When she’d finished chapter 37, Ash said, “Frank’s not man enough to handle Scarlett, and it’s not like a baby’s gonna change her! She’s nothing but a bi—” he caught himself and smiled, “female dog.”
Kitty laughed, while Ash glimpsed over his shoulder. “Is she asleep yet?” Kitty asked.
“Yeah,” he said. After Kitty placed a marker in the book and set it aside on a patch of pink and white stripes, Ash held her in a snug embrace and kissed her.
Although long, slow and deep, the kiss was much too brief, and when Ash pulled his lips from hers, Kitty tugged him back for more.
“Come on, Kitty,” he laughed, “we can’t! Seletha’ll wake up any second. Besides, you know I can only take so much. It’s torture enough—not being able to—be with you—like I want.”
“I’m sorry, Ash.” Kitty removed her hands from him and then sat looking straight ahead. The wind gently wrestled the leaves of the large oak trees around them.
She couldn’t put off what she had to say for another week. They couldn’t go on. When would she tell him, if she didn’t do it now? After the baby was born? No. She had to say something today. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them to keep postponing it.
“What are you thinking about?”
Kitty’s heart pounded as her gaze turned to Ash. He was smiling. She sighed, thinking how she loved everything about him. There was no denying how handsome he was, and intelligent. His mischievous smile and the devilment in his eyes still excited her, and because of his charm, she even found his arrogance appealing.
But things couldn’t go on between them. Her eyes welled as she continued to look at him.
Ash’s smile disappeared at the sight of her tears. He grabbed her hand. “Kitty, what’s wrong?”
“Ash,” she said softly, “I—I shouldn’t really be kissing you at all.”
“Why not? I thought you liked kissing me.” He winked.
“I do—maybe—too much.” Glancing down at her large belly, Kitty thought of the irony of this remark.
Ash must’ve thought the same thing. Placing a hand on her stomach he said, “I can—uh—see what you mean.”
“Ash,” she met his eyes, “by making light of things—you’re not making what I have to say any easier.”
“I’m sorry, Kitty. Just tell me what’s going on.” She could hear the worry in his voice. “Just say it.”
“You—you shouldn’t be coming here at all. And after I tell you what I have to say,” tears began rolling down her cheeks, “I’m prepared for us—never to see each other again.”
Ash squeezed her hand. “Kitty, what in the blue blazes are you talking about?”
“I’ve decided that—we should end things.”
Ash was quiet for a few seconds. Not removing his eyes from hers, he said, “End things?”
“I want to go to a different school next year. I want to start clean someplace else—with you—and the baby behind me. Ash—I love you—but I can’t be your—what you want me to be. I want to be more than that—and I think I deserve more than that.”
Ash looked away from her for a moment, but never let go of her hand. “Kitty,” he gazed into her eyes, “you’re right. I think you deserve more than that, too. But--can I--convince you to change your mind?”
She looked at him skeptically. “I doubt it. At least I—I think I doubt it.” Why had she said that? Kitty thought. He’d probably try to snare her with a bunch of crafty words and lawyer talk. Then she’d fall prey to his charm, and be right back to where she started. “No—you can’t change my mind,” she said firmly. “You’ll just offer me more of the same and—
”
“Hold on a minute.” Ash smiled, as he released her hand and then reached into the back pocket of his trousers. “Look at this.” He handed her a letter.
She unfolded it and began reading. “This says—that you’ve been accepted to the law school—at Cambridge University—in England?”
“Yeah. It does, doesn’t it?” He hesitated. “And I want you to come with me.”
“What?”
“Look, Kitty, after the baby’s born, I thought we could--go up North--and get married. I’d rather die than become a Yankee, but I’ll move to Europe for you. Ever since you left Joy Hope to come here—I’ve realized that I don’t want to live without you. I miss you too much—and I miss—loving you too much. I want you to be happy more than anything, and I finally realized that what I wanted to offer you wouldn’t ever really make you happy. So, Kitty, will you legally marry me?”
He pulled a ring from his shirt pocket. “The setting’s platinum, more precious than gold, and it’s a whole carat, clear as water.”
At first, Kitty said nothing. She only stared, not believing what was happening. He lifted her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. “Oh, Ash!” She grabbed him tightly around the neck and cried, “Yes, yes, yes!”
“Are you willing to keep the baby now?”
“Yes,” she said through tears and laughter. “Ash, I was beginning not to want to give him up at all. Now I know why.” She slowly released him from her embrace and looked at his clothes. “So did you dress up to propose?”
“I didn’t want to ask you to marry me without being properly attired.” He smiled. “Now, Kitty, once we’re settled over there, you can look at colleges, too. We can get a nanny for the baby.”
“I can put off finishing school for a while.” She held out her hand and admired the large diamond. “I want to be with the baby instead. And besides, I’d rather have a cook.”
Ash smiled. “Done!”
“Oh, Ash, I’ve never been happier! But where’s all the money coming from for us to pick up and move?”
The Governor’s Sons Page 11