Cherish and Simon- the First Year

by Eva Morian

  Spurred on by the silence with the children at ease, he knew they were in a weird situation. Simon’s heart was shattered in a million pieces and he could imagine that Cherish’s was as well. Like it or not, life moved on and two little lives depended on them. Cherish, as far as he could see, was a beautiful soul and he was deeply grateful to have her there. Even if she was as wet behind the ears as he was. “I’m going to lay her down and unpack, alright?” Simon asked. Jr. didn’t look like he was quite finished yet causing his brow to quirk in mild amusement, “Insatiable little guy, isn’t he?” He questioned.

  Cherish broke out in a half laugh, “He’s got quite the appetite.” She stated switching him over to the other side.

  Standing, he brought Jasmine over to Jr.’s crib and set her down carefully. Her little fists and legs were pulled in as her head lulled to the side. Simon’s head tilted as he smiled down at her, “Bring him down when he’s done. Just be careful on the stairs.” He said leaving the room once again. Nodding, Cherish watched Simon leave before she gave Jr. her undivided attention once more.

  About a half an hour later, Cherish felt Jr.’s mouth fall slack with a line of milk across his bottom lip. This caused her to smile while she pulled him away from her breast. This was far more than what she’d originally expected hours before. Fixing her shirt, she lifted Jr.’s little rump, and patted his back to burp him. She instinctively kissed along the side of his head because she knew infants fed off love and affection. Cherish shut her eyes and rocked from side to side, “Your daddy loves you, your mommy loved you. Shh sweet boy. Sweet, sweet boy.” She whispered.

  Standing, she brought him to the crib and after a few seconds a little burp erupted from his body. Cherish relaxed and settled him down in the crib beside Jasmine. She then lifted her precious girl, kissed against her head, and rubbed along her back to wake her up for the gas to flow. A few, short moments later she too released a healthy burp. Pulling Jasmine away from her shoulder, Cherish kissed her pouted lips and placed her back in the crib beside Jr. Honestly, she didn’t want to overwhelm Simon even though he told her to bring Jr. to him. That and she was on heavy painkillers. She didn’t trust herself to go down the stairs with either children.

  She stared down at the little babies as she ran a hand over her deflated stomach. Glancing from side to side, she felt thirsty. Cherish waddled into the bathroom and stopped. Of course, the bathroom was large and bigger than a small closet which initially caught her off guard. Stepping to the sink, she cupped her hands beneath the faucet and brought water to her mouth for a long drink. She then splashed her face with a sigh. Taking a moment to turn her head, she listened in the bedroom for any sound the babies made. With Simon downstairs in his own privacy, Cherish decided to clean herself up from the bleeding she had to endure. One last look at the babies, she left the door cracked, searched the bathroom for a wash rag and towel, and for once, took care of herself.

  Chapter 2

  What a night.

  Situation after situation developed overnight for this broken, makeshift household that formed less than twenty-four hours before. There wasn’t any time for nightmares, forlorn dreams of Emily, or worries about Todd. Simon tossed and turned on the couch during the night and had traveled upstairs countless times to help with the babies. When one cried, the other woke and had to be rocked back to sleep while Jr. wanted to eat every hour; if Cherish was lucky. The entire night was a hazy blur filled with cries, diapers, groans, and feedings.

  By the time sunshine touched Simon’s face, he was laying horizontally across the end of his bed. He’d told himself earlier that morning he needed a moment to gather the strength to make it to the couch. That was three hours before. He rubbed his eye and groaned while looking around. Cherish was balled up under the blanket. Her natural, curly hair spread in an array over the pillows with one stuffed against her face. All signs showed she was not ready to wake up.

  Sitting up, Simon straightened his shirt before he went and checked on the babies with a droopy blink. They were still asleep and looked like sweet angels side by side. The same couldn’t be said for when they were awake. To Simon, Jr. looked to be content with the company of another and it hurt his heart. Would he be lonely without the love of his mother?

  Habit placed him on auto-pilot. Taking a shower, he scrubbed down and felt like a human by the time he finished. He inhaled a deep breath facing himself in the mirror and began to shave. There wasn’t a hint of emotion to touch his features; a befitting look to accompany the dark circles under his eyes. After brushing his teeth and hair, he entered the room in just a towel. It wasn’t until he reached the closet did he realize the woman in his bed wasn’t the one he was intimate with.

  A gargled whine escaped from the crib. Simon’s feet quickly carried him over and saw Jasmine in a struggle to wake up. Her arms tried to wriggle and break free from the swaddle blanket. Her feet kicked beneath her arms and her face scrunched up. Looking as though she was silently crying, she released a gasped start of a cry.

  Maternal instinct caused Cherish’s eyes to open and her body to sit up. While she gained her bearings, she tilted her head and watched Simon lift her little girl from the crib. She rubbed her shoulder as Simon rested Jasmine on the bed and undid the swaddle. Somehow, in the middle of the night, he’d changed her into a night suit with little blue and gray wolves, “She’s not wet. I’ll go downstairs and get her bottle.” He said in a gruff voice.

  Cherish rubbed her eye with the palm of her hand, “Okay. How is Jr.?” She questioned.

  Half swaddled, Simon lifted Jasmine in his arms and took a quick look into the crib. His son smacked his lips had began to suck and his eyes clenched shut, “It won’t be long before he’s up.” He answered.

  As Simon left the room with Jasmine in tow, Cherish nodded, “Alright.” She yawned. There was an ache in her chest. She pressed a hand to her breast before pushing herself to stand with a groan. Shuffling over to her bag beside the rocking chair, she grabbed a large pad and peered inside. There were only seven left. Sighing, she peeked in on Jr. quickly, and took her turn into the bathroom to clean up once more.

  Jasmine was wailing by the time Simon got to the kitchen. He started her bottle and bounced with light pats on her back. His efforts to appease this little girl wasn’t working. She just wanted food and made it known with her fussing.

  Once Cherish was finished, Jr. softly wailed by the time she returned to the bedroom and lifted him up and out of the crib, “Okay big boy. It’s alright.” She whispered to him softly.

  Before giving him what he wanted, he was lowered on the changing table, and his body was freed from the tight burrito. Jr. cried out once he felt a chilled wipe touch his butt. Cherish reached in the crib, grabbed a pacifier, and popped it in his mouth. A mother’s way to nicely tell a child to shut up. Jr. sucked on the rubber for about a minute before he tossed his head to the side and began to cry again. At least he gave her enough time to finish. Sighing, she picked him up and kissed his little cheeks. The rocking chair was bypassed altogether as she returned to the bed and laid down with him. Jr. took to her breast and, once again, Cherish pushed her own hunger to the side. She’d been hungry for most of the evening and night but, in the middle of the chaos of parenthood, she simply forgot. Her eyes slowly began to close as the sounds of Jr.’s sucks lulled her over exhausted body to sleep.

  Simon was in the middle of feeding Jasmine. He zoned out as he watched the little girl suck down her milk. So, this was the reality of waking up without Emily. There were many different scenarios that had crossed their minds as her stomach grew with their child. The possibility of death never came. After the fact, he almost wished he had prepared for it. Now he paid the price of feeling constantly stunned and dull inside. He bore a great deal of pain which had to be placed on the back burner.

  Making his way into the living room, he sat down, and turned the television on to numb his thoughts. Before long Jasmine drank the last drop and he pulled the bottle fr
om her mouth. He stared down at her beautiful face and felt a bit of light spur deep within his sorrows, “Come on sweetheart.” He whispered to her lifting her over his shoulder and burping her. The sadness that grew inside him dissipated temporarily to get him through. He pressed his face against the side of Jasmine’s and kissed her cheek.

  Sitting with her for a few minutes, he then sighed, stood, and placed her in the crib to sleep. He released a groggy hum as he washed out the bottle and his hands. Once finished, the only sound in the house was the low droning voices on the television. Simon sighed to himself before he returned in the room with Jasmine and laid on the couch in a careless manner.

  Now, he wanted a nap.

  Unfortunately, he’d missed the car pulling up in the driveway and the couple standing at the front door. Suddenly, the doorbell echoed through the house. As Jr. tugged on Cherish’s breast, she was far too tired for the noise to register properly in her mind had trouble coming around to the fact that someone was at the door, with her baby downstairs, and this wasn’t her house. This was the most peace she had in months despite two newborns. Peace she felt guilty about when awake. Cherish felt as though she was taking advantage of a man who was struggling in an excruciating situation. After meeting Emily, that beautiful and vibrant woman had made an imprint on her life. Stirring, she opened her eyes just long enough to see Jr. was fine in his surrogate’s arms. A soft smile graced her features as she rested to with her lips pressed against his head.

  Simon jerked forward from the couch in alarm before his feet sluggishly carried him to the door. Scratching against his chest, he leaned into the peephole and saw his in-laws. A shocked rush of numbness washed over him. He’d completely forgotten they had planned to make the trip after Jr. was born. They were supposed to arrive a few days later. In a blinding flash, all his thoughts of Emily were brought back to the forefront of his mind. Now he had to face her wonderful parents. A couple who lost their daughter because she had a child with him.

  Simon threw an anxious glance in the direction of the stairs to see if Cherish had made an appearance. He didn’t know how he was going to explain her to them. There was a woman in his home and his bed just days after his wife passed. His hands raked through his hair as the bell echoed twice more, “Fuck.” He muttered to himself opening the door. Simon forced a faint smile, but wary depression showed in his eyes and body language.

  The pair pushed their way inside and Emily’s mother, Miriam, was the first one to speak, “Oh Simon, we came straight away. Come here.” She whispered before a crestfallen sigh fell from her heart. She hugged him and squeezed tighter than ever before. She was naturally a good natured and optimistic woman, but her hold expressed just how much pain she was in. Their eyes were bright red, and the circles showed they were just as distraught as him.

  Emily’s father, Jack, pulled Simon in by his arm for a half hug. It would be a lie to say he didn’t feel on the verge of a breakdown from their support and grace. Clearing his throat to get a hold of himself, he dipped his head in a nod and held his arm out, “Come in. If you’d like to see Simon, he’s right over there.” He said backstepping inside.

  The older couple huddled closely to Simon as he shut and locked the door. There was a light of excitement bubbling from them as they waited curiously to see their grandson; the silver lining in a tragedy. Simon led them to the crib where he reached down for his son and quickly retracted. Instead of his chunky boy, his eyes were wide with dread as he saw his restless daughter, with her cap slightly askew. Simon met with Jasmine’s squinted gaze, “Shit…” he thought to himself.

  Without time to explain, Jack went in and picked Jasmine up. He held her close as he leaned into his wife, so they could share the moment with their “grandson” together. Simon held his arms out and pulled away several times. He placed a hand over his mouth and cringed because they were completely smitten with her.

  Miriam pulled Jasmine’s hat off and brushed her dark hair aside. Jack prodded her nose and cheeks. The two of them were delighted with the bundle of joy in their hold, “Miriam, just look at him. He’s a tough little fella, isn’t he? Just like your mother.” Jack said with a grin.

  Miriam swatted the air and gave Jack a playful, narrowed expression, “Look at his eyes, Jack. Just like Emily’s.” She whispered with her hand on her throat.

  Simon held his breath. He felt sick, embarrassed, and as though he’d made them into fools. Rubbing the back of his neck, his anxiety ran on high and his eyes flicked towards the stairs multiple times.

  Cherish’s groggy eyes parted slightly a few minutes after the bell. She wondered to herself who the hell would show up so early in the morning. Little did she know it was almost 11 A.M. She couldn’t comprehend the meaning of time in her sleep deprivation. A soft mewl sounded from beneath her before she gazed down at Jr.’s chubby, handsome face. She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and smiled. Just as she was about to close her eyes to rest more, she heard strange voices on the floor below and was reminded her of the situation. With a sharp gasp, Cherish sat up in bed and Jr. was jarred awake. Quickly, she picked him up and held him tightly to her chest, “Shit…shit.” She whispered to herself in a panic. What was going on? Jasmine, where was Jasmine? Where was HER baby?

  Panting out nervously, Cherish stole across the bedroom with Jr. coiled tightly in her arms. She tiptoed out of the room and the voices became clearer. Jack and Miriam were melting and cooing over her daughter. Gasping out slightly, she pressed her back against the wall before her fingers gripped into her black, curly hair. Her light brown eyes were wide and flicked from side to side. She didn’t know what to do. What could she do? There was a complete and utter mistake of identity right under her nose.

  Hearing Emily’s name being said, Cherish rolled her lips in and leaned her head back against the wall. Oh god, these were Emily’s parents. They would be less than thrilled she was there in the first place. In fact, they’d more than likely hate her for taking advantage of Simon, “Oh god.” She whispered to herself. Jr. coughed a grumpy gargle which caused her to jump. Shushing him, she pat along his back and slipped back into the bedroom.

  Simon rubbed his face over as he watched Emily’s parents dote and love on Jasmine. He didn’t have the heart to tell them she wasn’t Jr. He’d have to clarify how Jasmine arrived, which meant he’d have to explain Cherish. Then what? This was a lot of bad timing all too soon. He tried to distract them all while eyeing Jasmine uneasily, “H-he’s beautiful, isn’t he? W-well would you like to have a drink? Juice, milk, water? We uh…we have water.” He said.

  The pair looked at Simon with a confused expression. As though he spoke gibberish and they couldn’t understand him. They were so absorbed in the thought of their daughter’s child, they weren’t going to leave for a beverage. Then, as if matters couldn’t be worse, Jasmine farted with such ferocity, that her diaper was soiled.

  Simon’s mouth slightly fell open as Miriam lifted her from Jack’s arms, “Oh baby boy! You need to be changed? Grandma is going to take care of that, yes, she will, she will.” She cooed with a laugh. Miriam went in with kisses against Jasmine’s face as she advanced towards the stairs, “His crib is set up in your bedroom, right?” She asked.

  This caused Simon to charge in front of her in a determined manner. He had to put a stop to the madness. Trying to seem as innocent as possible, he cut in front of her, “Actually! We have a changing table down here.” He said with a nod, “Yeah…”

  For the first time, Miriam gave him a questionable look. Slowly, she stepped around him, “It will only be a minute, Simon! You’ve been through so much, son. Sit down please.” She reassured.

  Simon really felt sick to his stomach now. There was a tight ball of stress and tension in his core, “This is the one s-HE is familiar with. Since we’ve been downstairs.” He said with a huff of breath.

  Miriam understood now. Simon hadn’t the nerve to go upstairs yet. She turned to use the one in the guest bedroom beyond the stairs as he
reached out to take Jasmine from her, “Here, I’ll do it.” He said.

  Miriam pulled back and laughed only for Jack to rest a hand on his shoulder; laughing with her, “Don’t be silly, son. Rest a little. We’ll take care of Jr.” He said.

  At this point, Simon could do very little to stop what was about to happen. Wincing, he followed them into the other room, which had been converted into a nap and play center for Jr., when they would be downstairs. There was a long, awkward silence as Simon stood there with his eyes squeezed shut.

  Between the coos and the smiles, they finally got to Jasmine’s bottom half and the moment of truth came. Pulling open her diaper, Miriam and Jack expected to see a few streaks of poop. What they weren’t expecting was the gender of their grandchild was not what they were told. Those were little girl’s privates, not a boy’s. She was also darker in hue around her labia than expected. Stunned. That’s what they were. Completely stunned and flabbergasted. Slowly, they turned their heads to Simon and stared at him for an explanation.

  Cherish didn’t know what was going on beneath her. She had her own problems to deal with. She was hungry, tired, and now Jr. had decided to become one with Jasmine at the same instance. Just as she pulled her breast out for him to eat on, Jr. released a series of gas bubbles and squirts. She quickly pulled him away and lifted the fidgety little boy in the air. Without fail, he once again waited until he had a fresh diaper on his butt and soiled it. Cherish narrowed her eyes at him as his face twisted and his mouth opened; about to wail out.

  Grabbing the pacifier, she pushed it between his little lips quickly, “Oh no little boy, don’t you start. Mo—I am not going to feed you with that mess on your butt. We can’t have you getting a rash. Calm down.” She whispered to him. Cherish’s nerves were on high and shaken. She tried to change Jr. quickly but the thought of her daughter downstairs distracted her.