Cherish and Simon- the First Year

by Eva Morian

  Simon looked from side to side before his gaze lowered at the silky, purple and black panties in the large section. Grabbing them, he lifted them, analyzed, and handed them to her, “This one is just right. I…think. Maybe. I’ll need more in this size.” He stated.

  The woman blinked at Simon for a moment before she took the hint. Taking the underwear, she helped him choose out the others while he kept his hands behind his back like a respectable gentleman. He browsed around with her and decided on red and black lace, plain black, pink, vibrant lime green, and white lace. Those were particularly nice. Simon paid for them soon after, left the store, and entered a Super Target not far from where he was.

  He took a cart and strolled through the aisles only to pause at the end of the feminine hygiene aisle. For fifteen minutes, he tried to find the best ones that would give Cherish all she’d need. He remembered what the baby books said about the blood that came after a woman gave birth. Shaking his head, he pulled out his phone and googled which product had a more satisfactory rating. Finally deciding on a popular brand with wings, whatever those were, he went down another aisle with the creams. They took longer than the pads. He was so clueless, he stopped a new mother and asked if she would help him. He held up two different brands, “Which worked best for you? Would they make a difference for a woman of color?” He asked honestly.

  The woman laughed at Simon’s dumb question before she took one from his hand and placed it back on the shelf, “This one made me break out. The one you have now might be five dollars extra, but I haven’t had any problems. I don’t think race has anything to do with it. She will be just fine.” She stated with a smile. The woman tucked her blond hair behind her ears as her little girl stared at him with bright blue eyes, “Did you have a boy or a girl?” she asked.

  Not expecting that question, Simon looked up and to the side, “Both. Yeah, a boy and a girl, they’re really cute.” He answered.

  The woman laughed a bit, “Oh wow, twins! How wonderful.” She replied.

  He blanked for a moment, “Yeah.” He whispered distractedly. This woman reminded him of how he imagined Emily would be as a mother. His heart sank rapidly as he gave her a weakened smile, “Thank you for your help.” He then locked eyes with her baby and gave a small wave, “Goodbye you.” He whispered. With his spirits low, Simon gathered rest of the items on the list. While he stood in line, he rubbed a hand across his face. The pain in his heart didn’t let up. He just wanted to get this done and over with, so he could go home, lay down, and relax.

  If he could, that was.

  Bacon wrapped chicken, macaroni, and baked vegetables were warmed in the oven. By the time she finished the food, Cherish cleaned the kitchen before plopping on the sofa. Of course, five seconds later, Jr. began to twist and groan where he rested. His mouth turned downwards, and the first cry broke through the silence. When one started, the other followed. Before long, they were both crying in unison.

  Her eyes fell open and she frantically glanced from side to side. A moment passed. As she remembered where she was, she stood once more and went to make Jasmine’s bottle. While it was warming, she checked their diapers and changed Jr. much to his distaste. Soon, Jasmine was swaddled and propped on a pillow. Cherish held her bottle in one hand and had Jr. on her breast in the other. Blowing out, she leaned her head back for a moment in silence. Once again, she found herself staring down at their precious faces. The little folds of fresh skin beneath their eyes and around their cheeks were flushed. Both made hungry suckling sounds. While they filled themselves to contentment Cherish sat there exhausted. She felt like shit, but she was truly in love.

  For a moment she’d forgotten about the last nine months and lost herself in thought. She felt as though she had two beautiful children in her life. She lived in a pretend world where everything was perfect. Her husband would come through that door any minute with his arms full of gifts and they’d be a team. But that was a fantasy Cherish could never have. She was simply a homeless teenage mother who, out of the kindness of his heart, lived temporarily with a recent widower and his newborn son. The problem was, she loved this boy like her own, but was afraid to say so.

  Eventually, Simon made his way home. He parked in the driveway, shut the car off, and sat there in silence for a few minutes. Shutting his eyes, he slumped in the seat and placed both hands over his face. His heart was hardly hanging on, but he reminded himself he had two babies and a woman, just meters away, who needed him. So, once again, his grief and problems were pushed to the side and he dragged himself from the car.

  Closing the door with a slight click, he locked the door behind him and was hit with a glorious smell. Cherish had nodded off to the minute sounds from the babies. It felt like a second later that footsteps were heard. Her head snapped up in a rush. She glanced down at Jasmine and saw her little lips wrapped around the bottle before she looked at Jr. who had the same peaceful expression on his face as he ate away.

  Peering around, Simon found them sitting on the sofa with Jasmine in the pillows and Jr. in his new favorite place. Somehow, this all brought a blanket of comfort to him. His shoulders relaxed as he advanced further into the room and placed the bags on the coffee table, “I hope it’s what you needed.” He said going straight for Jasmine. With the bottle, he cradled her in his arms and tucked her into his chest.

  Cherish gave him a soft and weary smile, “Thank you. I hope you enjoyed yourself. “She answered. She glanced at the bags and read over the labels. Wal-Mart, Target, and Victoria’s Secret. Wait, what? He went WHERE? Eyeing the bag for a moment, she paused, and stared at the way he rocked Jasmine. Todd really was an idiot. Feeling a bit dejected, she nodded and pointed to Jr., “I’ll look at them when I finish with him. Thank you again.” She said.

  Simon noticed Cherish hardly had the energy to move. Just when he thought he was worse for wear, she had a much harder time. Within a few moments, Jasmine pushed the bottle out of her mouth. She was full and well but Jr. was far from finished, “I’ll let you finish feeding him.” He said.

  Setting Jasmine back in the crib, he went to the oven and shut it off. Opening the oven, he pulled on oven mitts and the first thing he took out was the chicken. Next were the vegetables and finally the gooey, macaroni and cheese. His stomach started to speak as he eyed what she made in hungry wonder, “Incredible.” He whispered unable to ask for more.

  Cherish brushed her hand against the back of Jr.’s head. He would suckle and stop. This little boy was drunk on milk and barely held on to consciousness. Leaning her head back, she dozed off again. The light, sporadic clatter of plates and dishes caught her attention. Simon made each of them a hearty serving of food and iced lemonade. He abandoned the dining table rule and brought her plate right to the small stand beside her, “Here you are. This food smells so, so, so, good.”

  Cherish lifted her head with wide eyes as Jr.’s head was tilted back with a ring of milk around the inside of his lips. The sight put a subtle smile on Simon’s lips. She blinked a few times to wake herself up, “O-oh…uh thank you, sorry.” She whispered with a sigh. She held Jr. close to her body, leaned over, and stood up before nestling him in the crib beside Jasmine. Clearing her throat, she slowly made her way back to the sofa, fixed her breasts, and sat down beside Simon.

  Simon crossed one leg over the other at the ankle as he sat and began to eat. Shutting his eyes, he groaned out once he got a bit of each flavor. He savored what was in his mouth while he flicked those eyes open to slightly shake his head, “Who taught you?” He asked.

  Grabbing her plate, she blew over it, “Oh Emeril. He taught me a lot of things…BAM!” She said. Obviously, her joke when right over his head. Replaying a moment in her mind, Cherish then squeezed her eyes shut, “That was lame, sorry. Anyway, when I was pregnant, Todd would always leave me behind at the hotel. So, I sat around and watched a lot of cooking shows on his phone.” She answered. Picking up a portion of the macaroni, she scooped it into her mouth and nodded as though she
’d impressed herself. It wasn’t perfect but much better than expected, “This is the first time I’ve actually been able to make a meal.” She said with a light chuckle. Pausing, Cherish thought it over before continuing, “Ever. I hope you like it.” She said.

  “Oh, come on. You’re kidding. It’s delicious.” He replied.

  Finishing a bite of food, she glanced over in his direction, and sighed, “Thank you.” After a few seconds, she blew out, “I hope Miss Emily’s parents return. It’d be a shame if they didn’t.” She said in a saddened tone.

  Simon couldn’t blame her for being worried with the position she was in, but his stomach sank once she brought it up. He wasn’t sure how he would get them to completely understand. They weren’t okay in the wake of their daughter’s death. None of them were. Just a week ago Emily was on the phone with them, folding clothes, and gushing to her mother about how many contractions she felt. Now, those were just a memory time would eventually erase. Would it heal as well?

  Simon blinked a few times before looking to Cherish’s light brown eyes. He wanted to comfort her. With a weak smile, he placed his fork down, “They will. I’m sure of it. Don’t worry. They love Jr. and I. I’m sure they want to know what happened. They’re good people, like I said. I think it’s best to just be honest with them from now on. They deserve that.” He answered.

  Stopping, Cherish wet her lips before she gave him a small nod. She could see the sadness in Simon’s features and figured they should move past the subject. He appreciated the silence that followed before he hummed, “I do have one more question for you. Who is Emeril?” He asked curiously.

  Cherish took another bite before she stared at him in disbelief. She lowered the plate back to the side table and waved her hand, “You don’t know who Emeril Lagasse is?! Oh wow! He is so entertaining!” She stated in shock shaking her head, “Do you have a cell phone?” She asked.

  Simon stood from the sofa, “Yeah. Emeril…Lagasse.” He said to himself before he handed her the control for the television. As she blinked curiously at the remote, he cleared his throat and pointed to the television, “Sorry, I have a smart TV. So, if you want to show me something on YouTube, it’s easiest to do it here.” He said.

  Cherish grinned as she turned the television on, “I love his show. Hold on, I can do it.” She said blinking and constantly flipping her head from the remote to the screen. It took her a minute to pull the application up and once again was amazed. There were so many options that she didn’t know existed. Where the hell was she going to start?

  Simon tried to follow along and put a face to a name. He forgot about their concerns in the animated way she began to speak. This was the first time she ever elevated her voice. The part, that was the best though, was how long it took her to finally him, “Got it!” She said pressing the button minutes later.

  There he was. The man she watched every night when Todd would leave. He was a shorter fellow, from Louisiana, with a signature expression that would engage his audience. Cherish’s eyes lit up as she grabbed her plate and tuned in.

  Immediately, Simon liked him. He tucked his feet and legs under him and continued to eat. His glasses reflected the flashes on the screen, and he wore a wide grin. His laughs blended with hers as they watched Emeril’s antics. He traded gazes with Cherish every so often and felt normal. Even if just for a few minutes, he enjoyed the time. This was comfortable and the better of the two nights they’d spent together.

  Once the second video was over, Cherish was half asleep but couldn’t help but open her eyes fully at Simon’s chuckles. Laughter, even though temporary from the inevitable mourning, was still good. Most people weren’t so lucky to laugh at such a time when stress was high. Simon stood up and brought their dirtied dishes to the sink. Yawning widely, he returned and turned off the TV, “Okay, I think it’s time to get some sleep before these guys wake up.” He said.

  Cherish rubbed her face and sat at the edge of the sofa. She rubbed her knees with a nod, “Alright.” She answered looking to the crib.

  Simon held his hands out and took a firm hold of her arms before he pulled her to her feet, “Don’t worry about getting them, I will.” He stated.

  Giving him a nod, Cherish grabbed the bags from the table and allowed Simon to help her to the bedroom, “Thank you for that.” She said pulling away. She needed a quick shower and a clean up before bed.

  That left Simon to lock up the house before they’d say goodnight. He made sure she would be fine before he went downstairs and transferred both children to the crib in the master. He went around the house and made sure all doors were locked before setting the alarm. Simon dragged his feet up the stairs with a yawn as he made his way into the bedroom. Shutting the door, he took off his shirt and socks and retreated into the walk-in closet for his pajamas. Back to the bed, he left the bedside lamp on and crawled into his side with an exhausted sigh.

  Returning to the bedroom, Cherish didn’t think as she climbed into the bed beside him and got comfortable. They were both on opposite edges but found that with two children it was better to sleep in the same room. It was amazing how a shower, new underwear, and proper pads could make a woman feel.

  Simon caught a tired glance at her, “Did I get the right things? Do you like them?” His deep, groggy voice asked.

  Cherish draped her arms over her stomach and turned her head to him. By the time she answered, he was already asleep, “Yes. Thank you very much, Simon. The underwear fits let’s get some sleep.” She said anyway.

  As soon as she shut the light off, Jasmine began to shift in the crib. Her turn with a full diaper had come. Sighing, the light clicked back on, “After they fall back asleep.” Cherish whispered. The only thing that came from Simon was a light snore. Smiling at him weakly, she then pushed herself out of bed, “I’ve got her.” She whispered to herself. Leaving him to sleep, she tended to her daughter.

  Tomorrow would be another day full of surprises.

  Chapter 3

  Having another fun-filled night with the babies, Cherish slept like a rock whenever she had the chance. Simon tried to take care of Jasmine and Jr. but after his son fought the bottle, he gave in and woke her. That’s where Jr. stayed attached for the remainder of the night. Which left Simon by himself to care for Jasmine when she’d begin to whimper in the crib. With a pat against his back from Cherish, he dragged himself out of bed and tended to her.

  By the time morning rolled around, the alarm blared on Simon’s cell phone. Jolting, he sighed to himself and hung his head in a daze. He was incredibly tired even though he had a few scattered hours of sleep. Shutting the alarm off, he laid there in dazed confusion. He’d dreamt of Emily and for the first time in six days, he smiled without worries. Rolling over, he felt Emily’s weight and warmth in the sheets beside him. His arms found their way around her waist as he nestled his face into her shoulder and drew her close to him. For a moment, he felt whole again. Her death had been a nightmare he’d finally woken from.

  With Jr. in her arm and Simon’s around her, Cherish felt completely and utterly at ease. Once again in the dark she’d lost herself in the fantasy of being in a perfect home, with the perfect husband, and perfect children to love.

  The moment his lips stole a kiss against her shoulder, Simon paused. Emily didn’t smell the same. She was fuller in his arms, her hair was full of puffy curls against his cheek, and her ass was big enough to press into his morning problem. Blinking, it all came back to him in a sickened twist and he quickly scooted away, “I’m sorry.” He apologized under his breath.

  The fantasy melted away when Simon’s voice met with her ears and not Todd’s. He had become just as disillusioned in his thoughts as she was. Fumbling for his glasses on the night stand, he wiped the sand from his eyes before he placed them on and stared down at her, “I’ll get the kids ready.” He whispered.

  Cherish silently opened her eyes and stared at the window while his weight shifted the bed. She heard him whisper gently to Jasmine
and tended to her while she glanced down at the sleepy little boy. With a sad smile, she leaned over and kissed his head. Sitting up in bed, Cherish pushed hair away from her face, “Okay.” She answered.

  Moving Jr. to sleep in the center of the bed, she stood and sighed. She grabbed the small bag with her belongings and picked up the last outfit. One of three that she had yet to wear. Underwear and a pad came next before she shuffled into the bathroom, “I’m going to shower and try to look like a human.” She muttered half asleep. With Jasmine in Simon’s arms, Cherish paused and kissed her head, “Good morning my love. Excuse me.” She whispered in passing.

  Simon watched after Cherish for a moment before he peered down at his baby girl. Those eyes he died for peered at him without focus and he pushed against her cheek with his knuckle. He looked to the bed and saw Jr. bundled in his swaddle blissfully. Simon ran his fingers through his straight, black locks and rested Jasmine beside him. Jr.’s face scrunched up and his head tilted slightly towards her. Simon tucked his eyebrows together while his son’s face twisted and turned while pointed in Jasmine’s direction. He pushed him a bit closer to her and the boy calmed down with a heavy sigh of sleep. Simon smirked to himself and rubbed his lips, “You are insufferable boy.” He muttered with a shake of his head.

  Dressing in the closet while Cherish showered, Simon busied himself with the baby bags and clicked Jr. into his seat. He held onto Jasmine and rocked with her with his eyes on the time. Simon stood in the kitchen and felt distressed. He cared about Cherish and her well-being, but the first doctors visit, he thought Emily would be the one with him. This placed strain on his emotions and weighed heavily on him in his lonely thoughts.

  Cherish was slow moving. From the lack of sleep, the pain medication she was on, plus the fact that she was a walking, bleeding, feeding sack, it took her longer than she wanted to get dressed. Sighing out, she pressed a hand to a breast and shut her eyes for a prolonged moment. Of course, it was cut short when she heard a tell-tale little fusspot about to give the only man she knew a ride for his money, “Coming.” She whispered hoarsely.