A Wife for Mr. Darcy

by Mary Lydon Simonsen

  “Oh, God,” Darcy groaned. “Well, there you have it. Unless something totally unforeseen takes place, you will shortly be wishing me joy,” and he handed his cousin an empty glass.

  After a somber dinner at Brook’s, the two returned to the townhouse. For fear of being overheard, nothing had been said at the club, but over a glass of port, Richard asked his cousin the one question that had remained unanswered. Was Miss Elizabeth in love with him?

  “I don’t know,” and after puzzling over it in his mind, he repeated that he did not know if she felt as he did. “You know how it is during the season. You start a flirtation, and it begins a progression. If all goes well, it will end up at the altar. I never had that with Elizabeth. Oh, there was a flirtation, but without the prospect of marriage looming in the background, it was very different. We actually had real conversations because of the lack of tension.

  “Elizabeth is intelligent, charming, and perceptive. It is a pleasure to be in her company and not to be subjected to the mundane conversation that is the diet of the London salons. Richard, I cannot live on puffed-up pastries. I need meat on my plate,” and looking at his cousin, he concluded, “Elizabeth challenges me. She is my equal in all things but rank.”

  “Will, I can see you are troubled, but from all you have said, I do not think you have injured Miss Elizabeth. She sounds as if she is a sensible woman who recognizes that her position is inferior to yours, making marriage unlikely.”

  “I hope you are right, Richard, because it would be a dark day for me if I believed she thought I had been trifling with her affections.”

  But after his cousin had retired, Darcy went over everything that had happened between Elizabeth and him. He wondered if, in his need to be near Elizabeth, he had hurt her, and if that were the case, he would hurt her no more.

  While Lizzy was packing for her holiday to Derbyshire, Jane was sitting on the bed reading a letter from Lydia.

  “Well, it seems that there is no limit to the number of dances and concerts she attends, and she goes to the shops every day and plays cards two or three times a week. She is still a flirt and boasts of it. Last week, she wrote of an Ensign Gray, and this week, she is singing the praises of Lieutenant Tenyson.”

  “At least she is moving up in rank. If Lydia manages to attract the attention of a captain, Mama will have Uncle Philips drawing up a marriage contract for her.”

  Jane knew her sister was in jest. Both sisters had strongly objected to her being allowed to go to Brighton with Mrs. Forster, who was only nineteen herself, but both had been overruled by their father.

  “As long as it is not Lieutenant Wickham,” Lizzy added. “While I was at Mrs. Proctor’s card party, he sought me out once again for the purpose of maligning Mr. Darcy. This time his story involved the sister, Miss Darcy. He claimed to have provided endless hours of entertainment for her. I gave him no encouragement, and when I said that I thought it unfair to talk about someone who was not there to defend himself, he walked away.”

  “I saw that,” Jane said. “He was clearly unhappy with you.”

  “Well, he is gone, and hopefully, we will hear no more about him. Besides, I want to think about rocks and mountains and gardens and tree-lined paths, not Mr. Wickham.”

  It gladdened Jane’s heart to see how happy Lizzy was in preparing for her journey, especially now that she had been assured by Miss Darcy that her brother would remain in London. After first being opposed to going to Pemberley, Lizzy was now eager to visit the manor house and bask in all the delights the landed gentry took in their stride.

  “Miss Darcy has mentioned there is a dappled gray in Pemberley’s stables that will do very well for me, and that she will turn me into a first-rate horsewoman. She is being overly optimistic there, but I am agreeable to the idea of becoming an equestrian,” Lizzy said, laughing. “She has also arranged for a picnic in the Peak District, and if we choose, she said that one of her grooms will take us to some of the caves that are actually on the Darcy property. And the gardens! If they are anywhere near as beautiful as her description, then I shall truly be in heaven. It has been two years since we visited Woburn Abbey.”

  Lizzy came and sat next to her sister. “It has been five days since Mr. Darcy left to go up to town, and in that time, I have recovered my senses, and I have taken stock of my prospects. Mr. Peterson was very attentive to me at Aunt Susan’s in August, and when a man mentions the size of his fortune, it shows some interest on his part. I wish I had given him more encouragement, but I am confident that if he had become engaged, Aunt Susan would have written to us as she dearly loves sharing neighborhood gossip.”

  Looking out the window, Lizzy saw that Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley had arrived for dinner. Both sisters hurried down the stairs, one to greet her beloved Charles and the other to make welcome a new friend.

  Shortly after dinner, Mrs. Bennet gave out a cry announcing the Gardiners’ arrival. Being of an amiable temperament, she loved having guests, but this time her excitement was due in large part to the mode of transportation rather than the people being transported. The Gardiners had arrived in the Darcy carriage.

  Every Bennet, Miss Darcy, and Mr. Bingley went out to greet the Gardiners. Once the carriage came to a complete stop, a footman jumped off the back of the carriage and assisted a smiling Mrs. Gardiner as she exited from the luxurious conveyance. Mercer spoke with Miss Darcy, assuring her that the maid had sent the requested items and handed her a letter from her brother.

  “I am sure he will begin his missive by telling me how confident he is in my abilities, and then proceed to give me a dozen more instructions as to how to entertain our guests.” Mercer smiled and nodded. His master was a man who paid attention to the details, which was why he found his courtship of Miss Montford so puzzling. It was higgledy-piggledy, a word Mercer had never before thought to apply to Mr. Darcy, but he suspected that the reason for his unsettled behavior was now admiring his carriage.

  Pointing at the shiny black coach with the Darcy coat of arms emblazoned on its side, a giggling Mrs. Bennet asked Mercer if she could get in, and an unembarrassed Mr. Bennet climbed in after his wife. After every Bennet enjoyed the comfort of the carriage and after every servant had taken a peek inside, all returned to the parlor for a short visit, as Georgiana needed to return to Netherfield.

  But before she departed, Georgiana wanted to warn the Bennets about the Crenshaw children. After listening to tales of syrup on chairs in the servants’ hall, puddles filled in with pine needles to hide the water beneath, pine cones in pillows, et cetera, Mrs. Bennet said, “Surely, Miss Darcy, you are having a little fun with us. After all, they are only children.”

  “They may be children, but they think and act like adults—very, very mischievous adults. If you see them near a stream or collecting acorns, be on your guard.”

  Jane glanced at Mr. Bingley. Surely, Charles would expect civil behavior from any guest, but most particularly from the children of his sister.

  “Where is the father?” Mrs. Bennet asked.

  “Safely in London at Lincoln’s Inn. Apparently, Mr. Crenshaw visited Pompeii as a youth and was disturbed that so many people died. He blamed it on a lack of preparation, so he has brought up his children in a way that they might survive an epic disaster.”

  “But we do not have volcanoes in England. A heavy snow and a rather nasty flood are all that we have ever had in Meryton. I am afraid they will be disappointed,” Mrs. Bennet said in a concerned voice.

  Georgiana knowingly shook her head. “I will leave you to judge for yourselves, but as my brother often says, ‘Forewarned is forearmed.’ I hope you will have no need of this information, but you might want to tell your neighbors.”

  When it became known about the village that Jane Bennet was engaged to the handsome, not to mention very rich, Mr. Bingley, the news was greeted with smiles from the ladies and huzzahs from the men because Jane, along with her sister Lizzy, was among the neighborhood favorites. No one could describ
e Jane without mentioning the words “kind” and “sweet,” but under that gentle exterior was a determination that would have surprised many.

  There were many times in Jane’s nearly twenty-three years when Mrs. Bennet’s nerves or heart flutters had caused her to take to her bed, which usually resulted in Mr. Bennet retreating to the safety of his study, leaving the care of the younger children to Jane and Lizzy. Although the sisters shared responsibilities, it was decided that it would be best if Mary, Kitty, and Lydia looked to one person as the ultimate authority, and they had agreed that it should be Jane by virtue of her seniority. While Lizzy liaised with Papa, Jane would see to their mother and sometimes assume her duties. Her first meeting with the cook regarding the evening meals had been when she was thirteen.

  In preparation for the arrival of Charles’s sister, Diana, and her six children, Jane decided to have a talk with Mr. Bingley. She wanted to know exactly how much of what had been said about the Crenshaw children was true and how much exaggeration. When Jane asked for an accounting of any misdeeds they had actually committed, Charles had answered, “Just those done to me or to anyone?”

  What followed was a litany of horrors perpetuated on family members as well as the general population by the Crenshaw brood. In a tone Charles had never heard from Jane, she asked for an explanation as to why such behavior was tolerated.

  “I feel sorry for Diana because she is married to an eccentric,” Bingley answered defensively. “First, Crenshaw thought he needed to prepare his family to survive a natural disaster. When none occurred, he instructed them as to what they should do in the event of a French invasion: rearguard actions, foraging, sabotage, and so on. The problem is, he considers himself to be a theorist, and as such, leaves it to Diana to execute his ideas. Unfortunately, she is always with child and has very little energy, and so the children run wild. I am the only one who will have them for a visit.”

  But then Bingley broke out into a smile. “I have taken the precaution of warning the staff and have given them permission to respond in kind,” Charles said, “and I have doubled their monthly salary for the length of Diana’s visit as compensation. Besides, I expect that my sister and her children will return to their home in about three weeks’ time.”

  “Mr. Bingley, that is all well and good, but in three weeks, they can cause a lot of aggravation and possibly damage to an estate you are leasing. I think we should come up with our own plan and not wait upon them to act.”

  When the Darcy carriage arrived at Longbourn, Lizzy could hardly believe that she was going to spend her holiday at Pemberley with its extensive gardens and views of the Peak, and she had to fight the urge to giggle at her good fortune. Once seated, she found that the Gardiners and she were to share the carriage with Miss Darcy’s little corkscrew-tailed pug.

  “I hope you do not mind,” Georgiana said. “Because I have been so busy of late, my little darling has been woefully neglected,” and she kissed his nose.

  Although the Bennets had four dogs, they were expected to earn their keep about the farm in return for much love and lots of meat. In town, many of the wives of the merchants kept lap dogs, mostly as an accessory, but some loved their dogs more than their husbands.

  “What is his name?”

  “His real name is Peeps, but Will complained that was such a silly…” and then she stopped. “It was decided that we should rename him Pepper.”

  For a few minutes, Lizzy’s heart sank. Miss Darcy had stopped in midsentence because she knew that she cared for her brother. Although embarrassing, she decided that she would not allow it to ruin her holiday. So Lizzy asked a number of general questions about Mr. Darcy, so that Georgiana would feel she could talk freely about him.

  It was a pleasant ride with Mr. Gardiner sleeping and snoring for most of the journey, and his wife nodding on and off throughout. For Georgiana and Lizzy, it was a time to share stories of dresses, dance partners, and sore feet. Lizzy also learned some of Georgiana’s personal history, including the death of her mother ten years earlier following a miscarriage.

  “One of the reasons I so love to go to Pemberley is because Mama’s presence is everywhere, and there is nothing sad about it. I shall show you her portraits. She was very beautiful.”

  She then mentioned that her father had died suddenly while Will had been on the Continent on the Grand Tour, and he had to return home immediately to assume the many duties and responsibilities of being the master of Pemberley as well as the guardianship of his thirteen-year-old sister.

  “Will can be impatient, but you could not find a better brother or cousin or friend. As Mr. Bingley once said, ‘When choosing up sides, everyone wants Darcy.’ I think that says a lot about a person.”

  Following an overnight stay with the Hulston family, friends of the Darcys in Derby, the carriage continued on to Pemberley, and when the coach turned into the drive to the estate, Lizzy experienced what her mother referred to as “the flutters.”

  As the carriage emerged from the woods and into the light, before her, glowing in the afternoon sun, was Pemberley, the ancestral home of the Darcys. Tears came to her eyes, and if asked, she would have been unable to say if they were tears of joy or sorrow.

  Charles was positively bursting with pride as Jane laid out her plan to retake the high ground in the war with the Crenshaw children. A day earlier, his bride-to-be had arrived at Netherfield just in time to say good-bye to Caroline and Louisa. It was their intention to be halfway to London before their sister’s children arrived. Caroline’s parting advice to Jane was not to sit down without looking, and Louisa leaned out the window to remind Charles to lock his door when he retired for the night. And with that, they made good their escape.

  Part of the problem was apparent as soon as Jane was introduced to Mrs. Crenshaw. She was expecting, possibly six months along, and with half the day still ahead of her, she was already exhausted, and the children were prepared to take advantage of their mother’s fatigue. Unfortunately, for the youngsters, the servants had planned their own welcome. Instead of being free to run amok, they were marched out the back door by the three sons of Mrs. Smart, Netherfield’s cook, and into the park where Mr. Bingley’s grooms were waiting for them.

  But they could be contained only for so long, and during dinner in the breakfast room and away from the china, the four oldest Crenshaws came in and immediately began eating off their mother’s plate and out of the fruit bowls in a foraging expedition. When they came to Jane’s plate, she placed a napkin over it and informed them that what they were doing was not foraging but plundering, the latter being an act of war, and she had no intention of yielding. After an attempt by their leader, Gaius, to stare Jane down had failed, the little savages returned to the park.

  By the time Jane had arrived back at Longbourn, she already had a plan in mind. The crusade for the reformation of the Crenshaws began when their Uncle Charles herded Gaius, Lucius, Athena, and Darius into his carriage, leaving only toddler Minerva and baby Julian behind, for a trip to Longbourn.

  After being escorted into the Bennet dining room by the two burly sons of Mr. and Mrs. Hill, the children found that each of them had been assigned a footman who had taken up his position immediately behind the chairs of the four children.

  The battle was on when Gaius refused to use utensils. His plate was immediately removed by Adam Hill, and when he attempted to leave the table without being excused, John Jr. picked him up and put him back in his seat. When he tried again, Mr. Hill, who was standing guard at the door, pulled out a tether, and the defiant one sat down quietly and asked for his plate back.

  “Not today, dear,” Mrs. Bennet said. “Only children who have minded their manners will have their dinner.”

  Lucius, who usually followed Gaius in all things, decided to cooperate because he was hungry. Breakfast had been a bowl of “take it or leave it” porridge, which he despised. “I want food,” and he picked up his fork and knife to show that he would follow orders.

>   “Please. You must say please, Master Lucius,” Mrs. Bennet told the more compliant twin.

  “Soldiers don’t say please,” he answered in a voice revealing just how insecure he was feeling.

  “Are you an officer or an enlisted man?” Mr. Bennet asked.

  “An officer.”

  “Any officer in His Majesty’s Army would be regarded as a gentleman, and as such, would know the proper manners to use when dining.”

  “Well, then, I am an enlisted man,” he said, even less sure than when he had been an officer.

  “Enlisted men follow orders,” and after staring him in the eye, he continued, “or they are flogged.”

  A wide-eyed Lucius politely asked for a plate, and an intimidated Athena and Darius followed his lead.

  There was so much to accomplish in so little time, but victory was declared when all four children asked to be excused from the table, and it had not been necessary to tether any of them to their chairs.

  “You must follow through at Netherfield, Charles, or today will have been for naught,” Jane said as she bid him good-bye.

  “I shall see to it. I promise,” and added, “By God, Jane, you are going to make an excellent mother. Our children will be models for every child in the neighborhood.”

  Jane guessed correctly that Gaius would organize a response in order to demonstrate his authority, and when the farmers and others traveling the road between Meryton and Watford reported especially aggressive squirrels pummeling them with acorns, the Crenshaw children were ordered out to the park to pick up the thousands of acorns that had fallen from centuries-old oaks, and when they finally waved the white flag and agreed to stop their pranks, Jane rewarded them with cake and punch.