by Nick Place
‘Hi Leon,’ I say. ‘We’re playing you? And Ace? Is that fair?’
‘You’ll be fine, Focus. We’re all Heroes here and all friends. We play hard, but not too hard, if you know what I mean. The whole point is to play to the limit of your powers, without hurting anybody.’
I run over to where Cannonball is fidgeting with excitement, waiting for the game to start. ‘Cannonball, what do we do? What are the rules?’
‘There is one rule, Focus. See the goal, way down there?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Get the ball in that goal.’
‘But what are the rules?’
‘That’s it. Get the ball in the net. Well, I guess a second rule is: Don’t kill anybody.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘You bet. Hero Ball is where we can finally let ourselves flex our muscles. If we want to hang in the air for a mark we can! If you want to flit in and out of visibility, go for it. They say it’s excellent practice for real battles.’
‘You two ready?’ asks AutoMan, who has an extra green armband as team captain.
‘I guess. How long does a game last?’
‘Best of five goals. Good luck.’
A Hero in an all-white uniform flies into the air, carrying a whistle. He’s obviously the umpire.
‘Heroes ready?’ he yells. ‘Let’s play.’
He blows his whistle and, true to my memory of him, Freeze Frame strikes a pose and freezes, never to move for the rest of the match.
Everybody else becomes a blur of dazzling colour and movement. Hero Ball is underway.
OFFICIAL SCORECARD
THE FLYING TIGERS V THE DIAMONDS
Game 1:
A fast start for the Diamonds as NightEye plunges the entire field into instant night. Waterfall cascades water onto AutoMan’s windscreen and by the time he fumbles in the dark for his windscreen wipers and then headlights, the ball is already in the back of the net, courtesy of Leon.
DIAMONDS: 1 FLYING TIGERS: 0
Another strong team play by the Diamonds as Legs Raffety charges straight down the middle of the field, with Waterfall creating surf behind him. NightEye tries a darkness plunge again, but AutoMan already has his headlights on, allowing Cannonball to skittle the emu’s legs and NightEye in one move. Ace tosses the ball, on top of a spinning Queen of Hearts, to Leon who is camouflaged in the goal mouth. Goal.
DIAMONDS: 2 FLYING TIGERS: 0
Finally, the Flying Tigers creak into action. Legs Raffety attempts another run, but GlueStik clags him and Legs can barely move in the ooze. Cannonball makes a strong, no-tomorrow flying attack down the left wing, only stopping when Ace hits him square in the jaw with a hard-spinning Joker. AutoMan take the ball and drives straight through Waterfall’s attempted whirlpool. GlueStik is on hand for the pass. Goal!
DIAMONDS: 2 FLYING TIGERS: 1
A thrilling passage of play. AutoMan and Cannonball combine again down the right wing, but Legs Raffety flaps to catch Cannonball in the stomach in midair. He goes down hard and AutoMan throws the ball towards goal where Focus, unsighted for the entire match so far, thinks he is invisible. Unfortunately for him, Waterfall has laid enough water in his path that wet footprints show his every move. Focus is bundled out of the way in the instant he becomes solid enough to catch the pass and Ace shuffles his way back towards
OFFICIAL SCORECARD
THE FLYING TIGERS V THE DIAMONDS
the Diamonds’ goal. AutoMan and Cannonball try to regroup in midfield, but the ball is worked to the Diamonds’ goal. Focus becomes visible, standing on the opposition goal line and ready to repel the attack, only to find Leon is standing, camouflaged, in front of him, to accept the pass and sidestep him for the winner. Diamonds win.
FINAL SCORE:
DIAMONDS: 1
FLYING TIGERS: 0
DIAMONDS: 2
FLYING TIGERS: 0
DIAMONDS: 2
FLYING TIGERS: 1
DIAMONDS: 3
Goals: Leon 3
FLYING TIGERS: 1
Goals: GlueStik
The next day at school, Frederick and I grin at one another and can’t wait for recess so we can talk.
‘You were right, Pop Gun,’ I say. ‘That was a blast. Even if I was hopeless.’
‘You weren’t hopeless. You just hadn’t played before.
You’ll be ten times better in our next match.’
‘Do you think I can be a decent player?’
‘You bet. Surprise is just as important as muscle in Hero Ball. Look at Leon. He’s the same kind of player as you and he scored all three goals for them.’
‘How’s your stomach? Legs Raffety hit you pretty hard.’
‘I’m fine. Everybody knows where to draw the line in terms of strength. He can play pretty well, can’t he . . . I mean, for an emu.’
CHAPTER 7
THE BATTLE OF FITZROY
GARDENS
It’s a new look OK Team that heads into the city centre, looking for bad guys, a couple of weeks later. The others took a while to adapt to Switchy’s elevation out of our ranks. Both Torch and Cannonball were clearly stung that their individual genius hadn’t been noticed by the AFHT.
The auditions for a replacement member were a trial. In a strange way, it’s heartening to know how bad some of the wannabe Heroes are. It reminds us we’ve come a long way since our rookie days.
Elephant Head
REJECTED!
OK Team notes: Yes, this kid has an actual elephant head for a head . . . but no identifiable powers, as far as we could tell. Very unhappy when we told him he hadn’t made the Team. In fact, he started shooting lemons at us out of his trunk. Maybe that is a power after all?
Biblio
REJECTED!
OK Team notes: Almost made it. Cool costume made from book pages and can quote accurately from any book in the world, as requested. Would be a fantastic game show contestant, but not particularly useful in a battle, especially as we have a resident nerd in Logi-Gal, who knows pretty much everything there is to know already.
The Kite
REJECTED!
OK Team notes: She can fly, which is always cool, but only when attached to string and with a stiff breeze. No other powers. Cannonball rejected this one pretty quickly – I think he likes being the only confirmed flyer in our team.
Pancake
Pete REJECTED!
OK Team notes: Can become completely flat. In fact, slid under the door twice to argue his case after we rejected him. Not a bad power, but limited. Could have a career in movies as the ‘after’ scene when people are run over by a steamroller or hit by an anvil?
Simon, The Magician!
REJECTED!
OK Team notes: Was going well until the doves started emerging from his black coat unexpectedly and then a rabbit escaped from his undies. One of the doves is still living in the ceiling beams of our scout hall two days later.
Jungle Jed
REJECTED!
OK Team notes: Claims to be able to talk to animals, but his dog wouldn’t even sit when he asked it. Not helped by the fact Melbourne doesn’t actually have a ‘jungle’. His leopard-skin bathers were pretty silly too. Been watching too many Tarzan movies.
Grrrrrr-pop. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep . . . Bling!
Our newest member, The Gamer, has wild purple spiky hair and wears a green bodysuit with black stripes. He also has bright purple boots, so we’re not likely to lose him in a crowd. He has a vertical stripe on his outfit that has black at the very bottom, then red, then yellow, then bright blue at the top. I have no idea why. He’s Level D, Grade Two, one grade better than us, is our age and seems like a decent kid, but we’re still getting used to how he moves: stopping, starting, occasionally leaping barrels. His power is that he can call on most of the moves and abilities in an average console adventure game, so he’s a mix of a Super hedgehog, a plumber in overalls, and other such characters. He comes with a range of electronic sound effects too, which has
taken some getting used to.
Bling Blip-Blip-Blip! The Gamer runs through a mysterious gold coin that appears in the air in front of us, then leaps vertically to grab a bunch of bananas that are flashing in the sky.
Blooka-blom. He lands again and punches a wooden crate at the side of the alley we’re standing in. More semi-transparent gold coins spill out and vanish as he grabs them. Bleep. Bleep. Blip. Blip.
‘Hey Gamer,’ says Torch. ‘What do you do with all these coins you collect?’
‘I buy stuff,’ he says, pausing pre-leap.
‘What stuff ?’ asks Cannonball.
‘You know . . . shields, masks, bigger swords, underwater boots, code books, lamingtons.’
‘Lamingtons?’
‘Yeah, I like lamingtons.’
Life’s not boring with The Gamer around, even if we have no idea yet if he’s going to be any good in an actual battle.
Today might be the day we find out. I’ve had a quiet word with the AFHT about finding us some suitable bad guys to test out both Logi-Gal and The Gamer, and to see how much the team is going to miss Switchy. A couple of hours ago, I received a message on my herohints.com email, saying a low level band of crooks, Category 2, are planning a crime in the city tonight. Given all of us except for Logi-Gal are Level Ds, we should be fine with Category 2ers (who are only a level or so above, say, teenage vandals), even without our upgraded shape-shifting friend.
‘So who are we about to toast?’ Torch yawns and stretches, apparently bored with such low-level Villainy.
‘I have no idea, but we’ve been asked to scout the Fitzroy Gardens,’ I say. The gardens loom ahead of us; large trees dark against the sky with the hulk of Parliament House behind them.
Cannonball scratches his nose and peers into the gloom. ‘I can see some possums we could catch, I suppose, if nobody else turns up. I’m not sure my agent would be able to do much with it, though. He wants me to take on some bigger names . . . you know, so he can get some heat happening.’
‘Oh boy,’ says The Gamer.
‘Hey!’ says Logi-Gal.
‘What?’ I turn around and she’s rubbing the back of her head.
‘That wasn’t very nice,’ she says, scowling at us.
‘What wasn’t very nice?’ asks Torch.
‘Whacking me in the head.’
‘What are you talking about?’ It’s the Gamer. ‘We were all standing over here.’
‘Yeah, right. Focus, you could have turned invisible.’
‘To smack you across the head? Why would I do that?’
‘Yeah, leave her alone, Focus,’ says Cannonball, hands on hips.
‘Huh?’ I say. ‘I didn’t do anything.’
Logi-Gal is still glaring. ‘All I’m saying is that I just got whacked and – ouch!’
This time we see the tree branch casually sway down and hit Logi-Gal in the head.
Torch lights a flame on his finger. ‘Whoa! Bad guy trees!’
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice movement and just manage to dissolve in time so I’m a cloud when a massive branch swoops through where my head has just been.
‘I’m OK!’ I say.
‘You’re OK!’ say the team members, fanning out and watching the trees very carefully.
‘WE’RE OK!’ we finish together.
And then, looming through the dark, we see a giant figure, taller than Golden Boy and with a huge square head. A black cape flows majestically behind him.
‘Who is it?’ asks The Gamer.
‘Who cares! Let’s fire the cannon!’ Cannonball sets himself and shoots forward through the sky, fists clenched. He swings an arm and we all hear a loud CLONG!!!!! as his punch lands against the Villain’s head.
‘Oh man, I think I’ve broken my hand,’ Cannonball says, landing heavily and holding his fist.
‘Who are you?’ I ask the giant bad guy.
He plants large gloved hands on both hips and says, ‘Mm fffmmm emmm fmmm hummm!’
‘Pardon?’ says Logi-Gal.
‘Omm Hmmm, gmmm jmmm summ bimmm.’
I so wish I could ask Switchy to turn into a lantern or a spotlight so we could see this guy. ‘Torch,’ I say. ‘Can you make like a candle?’
He clicks a finger and flame appears on his index finger. He concentrates and it burns brightly enough for us to see that this bad guy is wearing a large rectangular helmet with a single eye slit. It’s a Ned Kelly helmet.
‘Any ideas?’ I ask the team.
‘The Bushranger,’ says Logi-Gal. ‘Low-level Villain. Category 2, as of April. No known powers beyond throwing rose thorns at Heroes.’
‘Rose thorns! They can be nasty,’ says The Gamer.
A tree branch swings down and smacks him hard across the temple. The vertical bar on his chest moves from shining bright blue to yellow, half way down. I realise it’s an energy indicator.
‘Stop doing that,’ I say to the Bushranger. ‘Are you planning a crime, or are you just going to use trees to belt my Team members around?’
‘HH! Hh! Hh! Hh! Ummm, hffff nhhffmm.’
‘Listen bush-boy. You’re going to have to take the helmet off.’ Logi-Gal has her arms folded and is frowning at the giant in front of her. ‘We can’t understand a word you’re saying.’
‘Kmm hmmn lmnff.’
‘Nope, didn’t get any of that. Logic tells me that you can’t talk clearly through thick metal.’
‘HHMMHH FNNN TMMMH!’
‘Whoever this guy is, he’s not smart,’ Logi-Gal says.
I turn invisible and the Bushranger glances around, to see where I’ve gone. I float over to him and turn solid at the last possible second, landing a good punch to his stomach.
‘OOFFFHHHMMM!’
Then he puts both hands to his helmet and struggles to raise it until his mouth is visible. ‘You punched me? You punched me! I don’t believe it. You’re the first Heroes ever to punch me!’
‘I’m sure we won’t be the last,’ I say, feeling kind of smug, even though violence is immature and you definitely shouldn’t try this at home, even against non-Super-Villains.
‘HOW DARE YOU!’ he roars. ‘You have touched the mighty Bushranger.’
‘How’s that ego coming along?’ I ask, deadpan.
‘You think this is a joke, kid? You have no idea who you are dealing with. You will regret that punch, fuzzy face.’
‘Last I heard, you were Category 2, which doesn’t match your tough talk, helmet head.’ I’m barely even out of focus, I’m so confident this crook’s a harmless crackpot.
‘You dare speak to the Bushranger in such a way! Then so be it. I challenge you to a Knight-Hood Pact!’
‘A what?’ Somewhere in my brain, an alarm is ringing. I’ve read about Knight-Hood Pacts . . . was it on herohints.com? Or the Hero Handbook?
‘Answer me!’ roars the Bushranger, still holding his helmet above his mouth. ‘A Knight-Hood Pact? Yes or no?’
‘Say no,’ says Logi-Gal, sounding urgent. ‘Say no NOW.’
‘A Knight-Hood Pact?’ I say. ‘I don’t think so – it sounds dumb.’
The Bushranger curls his lip and laughs a hollow laugh. ‘I thought as much. Go home, little boy. Stay away from the real Hero world until you’re ready to rumble with the big boys.’ And he drops his helmet back over his face.
‘Focus, don’t do anything stu –’ says Logi-Gal, but I’m not listening.
‘Okay, we have a pact,’ I say.
The Bushranger raises his helmet again. ‘A Knight-Hood Pact?’
‘You bet. Bring it on,’ I say.
‘Excellent!’ he yells.
‘Focus, what did you just agree to?’ asks Torch.
‘I’m not sure, but I don’t like being called a little kid.’
‘Fair enough. Anyway, how bad can it be?’ says Cannonball.
‘You have no idea,’ says Logi-Gal, sighing and shaking her head. ‘But would you listen to me? Ohhhh no.’
I tune her out because we’re
watching the shadows. We strike ready-for-action poses, expecting the trees around us to swing their branches, but instead a small monkey comes scurrying out of the dark.
‘Hey, look, a monkey!’ says Torch. ‘Wow, Category 1 crooks really are at the lower end of the scale these days.’
‘Awww, isn’t he cute? Hiya, little fella,’ says Cannonball.
‘Careful, Team. He’s with the Bushranger,’ I say. ‘And don’t forget those branches.’
A boy’s voice sounds in the dark. We can’t see anyone, but it sounds as though he’s right in front of us.
‘We are Category 1 and Category 2 Villains,’ he says. ‘I am Blink. In front of you is Monkey Two-Point-Oh and you’re about to meet Morphul and Swoop Swoop.’
‘Morphul? What sort of Villain name is Morphul?’ smirks Torch.
‘Swoop Swoop,’ sniggers Cannonball.
The attack comes from the sky. Cannonball doesn’t see it coming and a girl, dressed in yellow, lands on his head, pushing his skater helmet over his eyes. She sits on his shoulders, pounding his helmet, as he staggers around, trying to see.
‘Excellent work, Swoop Swoop,’ yells the Bushranger.
Then a Villain, dressed in black and wearing a ninja mask, appears out of nowhere and whacks me hard across the face. ‘Like I said,’ he says. ‘The name’s Blink.’
I go down with my eyes streaming. The downside of being a Hero is that you occasionally get punched.
The Gamer makes a run at the Bushranger, but suddenly two large oak trees lean down and pound him with their branches. They land enough good shots that his vertical chest stripe is into the red. The Gamer suddenly takes a giant leap backwards, before pulling up some weeds to reveal a semi-transparent battery pack, which he waves an arm through. His energy stripe climbs back into the blues.
But as soon as The Gamer advances, an oak tree belts him again, with one solid branch, and The Gamer is back in the reds, just like that. Cannonball is still cursing, trying to lift Swoop Swoop off his shoulders. She’s whacking his helmet with both hands, which isn’t the most brilliant attack, luckily.