*Players can only choose each event ONCE during the whole game.
Roulette: Out of sight, the previous player takes 2 unopened beers and shakes only one vigorously. The player who initiated the event must choose one can to open OR make the competing player choose one to open. Whoever doesn't get sprayed when opening up their beer, wins. Both cans MUST be opened simultaneously.
Basketball: Play offense and defense! Designate a trash can or basket as the hoop. Competing players each get 3 smashed beer cans, bottle caps, crumpled newspaper, or anything that can be used as a ball. From a designated distance, the first player to get a ball in the hoop wins. There are no turns, so shoot and run. If you miss all 3 shots, chug some beer and THEN collect your balls and keep shooting. You may play defense and deflect the other players shots.
Bowling: Set up beer cans like bowling pins on a table. Slide a smashed can or whatever else to knock down as many cans as possible. Knock down the most and win!
Curling: At a distance, place a bottle on a table. Each player receives 3 smashed cans or caps. They take turns sliding one can/cap at a time. Knock your pieces closer to the bottle, or their pieces away! Closest to the bottle wins.
Interpretive dance: Using a roll of toilet paper, improv a 10-second routine. As determined by previous player, best routine wins!
Bottle, Label, Opener: Much like rock, paper, scissors, but more beer friendly.
Bottle beats Label (Bottle: Shape your hand like you're holding a bottle)
Label covers Opener (Label: Your hand is flat like paper)
Opener beats Bottle (Opener: Closed fist, but make a hook with your pointer finger)
Hockey: Using two chairs or other items, set up goal posts. One player defends versus another trying to sweep a smashed can into the designated goal space. Only one shot means its sudden death!
Skeet shooting: Both players set up 3 empty beer cans on a table or surface in any manner they feel is strategic. Players must try to knock off the other player's cans using 3 bottle caps or smashed cans as projectiles. Keep throwing and retrieving your projectiles until someone wins. However, before retrieving your projectiles, you MUST chug some beer. First to knock off all 3 cans, wins.
Archery: One player puts an empty can on their head. The other player has 3 opportunities to throw a bottle cap and knock it off. If they hit the other player in the face during any throw, they must chug beer.
Dance-off: Both players dance simultaneously to any song for 10 seconds. Previous player determines winner.
Snack eating contest: Anything goes. (i.e. Which player can eat 20 small pretzels or 20 cheez-its faster?)
Duel: Each player gets 3 smashed cans, caps, tampons, or whatever. Standing back to back, they each take 10 paces forward, turn around and throw their cans. First player to make a fatal hit to the chest wins.
Drunky, drunky hippo: All non-competing players stand in a circle. Inside the circle, the 2 competing players kneel down on all fours. The circle of players throw caps, smashed cans and other objects into the circle. Competing players grab as much as they can until all items are gathered. Competing player with the most items wins!
Shot put: Do a shot and then shotgun a beer. Fastest wins!
Spin the Bottle: Whoever can spin a bottle, with at least one full 360 degree rotation, and the bottle is facing themselves, wins! If the bottle stops and points towards the competing player, chug some beer and then continue spinning.
Caps in Hand: This is the gambling mans' game. Each of the competing players gets 2 caps, coins or anything small they can hide in a closed fist. Hide any number of these items, from 0 to 2, in a closed fist. Holding out closed fists, each player takes a guess as to how many items the other player has PLUS how many they have. Each player's guess will be between 0 and 4, and can NOT be the same guess. Player who initiated the event guesses first. If both players guess incorrectly, play again until someone wins.
Beer wars: Competing players go back and forth naming beer brands as fast as possible until one player cannot name another brand, hesitates too long or somehow screws up. Loser chugs some beer.
Flip can: Just like flip cup, but with an empty can.
WORLD EVENTS:
Set a timer or keep tabs on rounds because a World Event occurs every 24 minutes OR 12 turns OR after each round of turns ends. EVERYONE competes and plays. Put all of the following events in a hat, most previous player draws one out:
Cold War: Same as Roulette. Only the most previous Roulette/Cold War player to lose is exempt and gets to shake up a beer. Otherwise, previous player chooses beer to shake, while person who drew the World Event mixes up all beers.
Hiding WMDs: Hide your remaining beer…by chugging it! Everyone together.
Outsourcing: Check your shirt tags, if it was made outside the US, turn it inside out!
World Unity: Everyone stands in a circle. Try to complete a sentence starting with the first player. Each player says a word to form a complete sentence. Think fast because the player who can't keep the sentence going chugs beer!
Impeached: Stand in a circle and all at once put a hand to your forehead. Signal a number with your fingers. If your number does NOT match any other players, chug some beer.
Coup: Stand in a circle and all at once put a hand to your forehead. Signal a number with your fingers. If your number matches any other players, chug some beer with that player.
Tsunami**: If you drew this, scream out "Tsunami!" and find high ground. Everyone must get off the floor and on to any surface or furniture. Last person to get off the ground chugs beer!
Global Warming**: If you drew this, scream out "Global Warming!" and hit the ground. Everyone must get on the floor, belly down. Last person to get down chugs beer!
**After a Global Warming world event or Tsunami world event has been played, it can be played anytime by anyone just before their turn. Choosing to scream either world event just before your turn will initiate its play and also forfeit your turn!
HANDICAPS:
China: You do not have to turn your clothing inside out during the Outsourcing World Event.
Russia: When playing Roulette, you can choose to have 3 total beers, with 2 of them shaken vigorously!
Italy: Instead of beer, you can choose to make your competitor drink wine in any event.
Switzerland: You can't win or lose any events, or the game for that matter, you're neutral.
Australia: You are always safe in the event of a Tsunami or Global Warming.
France: When playing an Archery event, use 6 bottle caps for throwing.
Canada: When playing a Hockey event, take a second shot if you miss the first time.
India: You do not have to make a beer run if the supply runs low!
USA: During Basketball event, your competitor can only use one hand and you get an extra ball.
Belgium: During Beer Wars event, your competitor can ONLY list import breweries.
Iceland: When playing a Curling event, you get an extra can/cap to slide.
Iraq: During a WMDs World Event, hand out a single shot to anyone you want.
Holland: Just get really stoned and watch everyone else play.
Mexico: Play any event whenever it is your turn, regardless if it has been play that round or you have chosen it before.
Thanks for playing!
About the jerk who wrote this game:
Justin Langer was born in 1980 and for the most part, was raised on comic books and science fiction while growing up in Las Vegas. He moved to sunny Florida for college just after graduating high school. He has had a variety of professions and considers his material to be influenced mostly by experiences relative to living in the state known for its unforgiving humidity and retired population. Most, if not all, of his writings will be in a screenplay format because he doesn't really consider himself a descriptive or detailed storyteller. He just wants to get the words on the page before he forgets them.
Thank you for reading this work and supporting
an independent, creative thinker. Please feel free to send Justin an email with any thoughts or comments about his work at [email protected]. See below for additional works available by Justin Langer.
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Drunk Olympics Page 2