The Lost Dog

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by Michelle De Kretser


  He rediscovered, with gratitude, the room India granted to casual human theatre. It was there, on every street: in garlanded Ganesh affixed to a radiator grille, in a scabby, naked toddler with liquid jewels at his nostrils, in the man who, possessing no legs, propelled himself on a wheeled plank, advancing on Arthur with a terrible smile. It was not that Arthur idealised the place, for he was a kind man and the daily spectacle was often cruel. But he relished the friendly attention paid here to comedy and tragedy alike; a willingness to be entertained, amused, horrified that he recognised as a form of thanksgiving for the faceted world.

  And so, from modest pleasures, Arthur fashioned a happy life. The locally distilled whisky was cheap, the beer cheaper. He ate devilled prawns every Sunday. Once a month he visited a former maharani who had a house with turquoise shutters in the shadow of the cathedral, and five exquisitely skilled girls.

  An Indian who had been with the firm for eighteen months was promoted over Arthur, whose congratulations were sincere. He was as indifferent to distinctions of race as to his own advancement. He drank steadily, sometimes fabulously, but always arrived at his desk sober.

  Contentment, being rare, never fails to attract attention. Arthur Loxley, with his veined cheeks and drunkard’s careful gait, was increasingly in the thoughts of a beautiful woman. Iris de Souza’s father had informed her at the age of six that she was to marry an Englishman, and neither of them had ever lost sight of that goal. Iris’s skin was fair, her face ravishing; many a pretty Eurasian was let down by toothpick legs, but Iris’s calves were shapely. Her mother, a handsome crow, had had the good sense to die young. Her father-but it would take a separate volume to explore the intricate self-loathing of this man, who despised in others the inadequacies that crawled in his own murk. He was an umbrella, tightly furled. Springing open, he might gouge flesh from your fingers. His rages were unpredictable and inconsistent. Iris acquired early the important female attribute of fear.

  Fear, crouched always like an imp under her ribs, leaped out on her thirty-third birthday. She remained in front of the mirror, fingering the treacherous silver thread coiling through her hair. She could still pass for twenty-four but that was hardly the point.

  Next door the Ho baby was crying.

  It was the war, thought Iris, the war had ruined everything, mixed everything up.

  It was the mixing she had loved, at the time. In the WVS she had rolled bandages and mixed with English people. A girl called Babs-a new style of girl, fresh from England -was kind to the Eurasian volunteers. It was rumoured that Babs was a Communist. Iris was able to overlook this-also the way Babs wasted time conversing with tonga drivers, also Babs’s blond moustache-because Babs took a shine to her. There were invitations to tea; the loan of a monograph on shanty-dwellers.

  In April Babs was offered the use, for a week, of a tin-roofed out-bungalow on a tea-garden in the Nilgiris. It stood on the far side of the valley from the manager’s house; his assistants had gone to the war and left their bungalow vacant. Unfortunately Babs had seen fit to invite two Indian sisters as well, the up-to-date kind who had opinions. Even the discovery that the Guptas were connoisseurs of detective fi ction could not redeem them in Iris’s view. With their homespun saris and dog-eared Agatha Christies, they had a disturbingly ambiguous air.

  All was righted by the advent of Captain Lawrence Fitch, Babs’s brother. He brought with him one of his fellow offi cers in the Hussars, a beanpole he addressed as Saunders; but for Iris this second young Englishman remained purely notional. There was only Lawrence: attentive to her every whim, always at hand with a shawl or a fish-paste sandwich, his honey-brown eyes sticky with appreciation. He had a scar just below the hollow at the base of his throat. More than anything in the world Iris wished to press her mouth to it. He gave off a powerful odour of tobacco and leather mingled, mysteriously, with burning sugar.

  Ponies were hired. As he helped Iris mount, Lawrence ’s fingers grazed her thigh.

  There were mornings on the spines of ridges clad with rhododendron; a picnic in splotchy light by a stream. There were cards and charades. One evening, with an extravagant sunset spreading itself between mountains,Ayushi, the younger Gupta girl, who wore a diamond nose stud, was persuaded to tell their fortunes. Smoothing Iris’s palm with a fi rm, fl exible thumb, she offered her a journey over water. The tiny diamond winked like a code.

  Iris was a good dancer. Lawrence enfolded her in his smell and hummed along to ‘Embraceable You’ as he steered her through the French doors onto the verandah. On their last evening he wore his dress uniform of scarlet, dark blue and gold. Iris got her wish; and much more besides.

  It was clear to Iris that she was engaged to Lawrence. Only, nothing was said for the moment. Discretion was her personal sacrifice to the war; she spent twenty months feeling exalted.

  In that time he wrote to her twice; the second time, three scrawled lines stating what he would like to do to her when they next met.

  In the last December of the war, she went into the WVS canteen and was greeted with the news that Babs’s brother was dead. In Babs’s sitting-room, on an ugly blond-wood settee, Iris poured out her own sorrow.

  Babs stared at her. Then said, in a thick voice, ‘How dare you claim a connection.’

  Iris, grappling anguish and mucus, made noises.

  ‘The idea of Larry and…you.’ Babs ground her teeth.‘With your spangles-on-net dresses.’

  Word got out.

  Matthew Ho, the doctor’s son who lived next door to the de Souzas, waited for Iris after mass. She had known him forever. On the way home, he asked her to marry him. Hygiene and his Sunday suit notwithstanding, he went down on one knee on the pavement. A crowd materialised at once to offer advice and encouragement.

  Iris, schooled in obedience, relayed the news to her father. ‘Damn Ching-Chong cheek,’ said Sebastian de Souza. He might have been enraged but chose to be amused instead. After a moment, Iris could see that amusement was what the situation called for. Father and daughter tittered together.

  For weeks, a word was enough to set them off. Chopsticks. Pigtail.

  Every four months, for three years, Matthew took Iris to lunch at The Golden Lotus and renewed his proposal. On these occasions he remained seated. It was not the kind of restaurant to tolerate a spectacle.

  Then he married a distant cousin, a girl who had been in Nanking when the Japs invaded. It was rumoured that unspeakable things had been done to her.

  They did not seem to have caused any lasting damage, thought Iris, plucking the tell-tale hair from her scalp with vicious precision. Matthew Ho’s wife had already presented him with three plump yellow sons. The baby was colicky. Iris would wake at night to his screams.

  In a sea-stopped street, she passed Arthur Loxley. He peered in under the umbrella Iris carried for her complexion, and lifted his hat.

  Change was flexing its claws, snarling the weave of Arthur’s days. The maharani had announced that she was emigrating to Cincinnati. She was paying for the girls to retrain as shorthand-typists. Arthur, feeling a brisk pattering across his stomach, had opened his eyes to find the prettiest one practising her finger exercises while fellating him.

  He would have been a pushover for Iris in any case. She was beautiful and set herself to be charming. His strength of will could be gauged from the quantities of papier-mâché knick-knacks and gaudy rugs he had amassed, the result of bazaar encounters with liquid-eyed Kashmiri merchants.

  Arthur rented a sweltering cell in the house of a govern ment clerk with nine children. It had a concrete verandah overlooking a strip of baked earth, where bold canna lilies, red and fierce yellow, grew in rusty tins. In that narrow place he passed sublime afternoons, dozing with a tumbler at hand and his landlord’s mongrel bitch stretched panting beneath his Bombay fornicator. The younger children made a game of him, daring each other to drink the melted ice in his glass or deposit a spider on the hillock of his belly. Once, as he snored, the smallest girl placed
a blue flower between his parted lips.

  Iris, inspecting the set-up, saw at once that it would not do. There was a swathe of stink from the drains. The dog’s teeth worked furiously at her ticks. The children, intuiting an enemy, gathered at a distance and dug in their noses.

  Thus it was settled that Arthur would join the de Souza household. If he faltered at the prospect of his father-in-law’s countenance over breakfast, he gave no outward sign of alarm. He was still flooded with gratitude that Iris had chosen to make him the gift of herself; a marvel twenty years of marriage would not quite suffice to dim.

  And the house, set on a hill, was wonderful. Like the de Souzas, it had declined over three centuries. First the grounds had shrunk, then the mansion itself had been divided and sold piecemeal and partitioned again. It had suffered concrete outgrowths and bricked-in colonnades. An elderly gentleman lived on a half-landing; a balcony sheltered a family of seven. But the house wore its changes like medals, hung out strings of washing like flags. Flowering creepers fastened it to the earth. In the compound, goats and hens roamed among tall trees and lavish ferns. There was a bed of rangy, perfumed gardenias. The de Souzas’ apartment on the ground floor retained a portico, pillars, ceilings that flaked but were plastered with garlands and painted with cherubim, windows that gave onto the puckered blue sea.

  Arthur Loxley enjoyed this distinction: he was the sole individual to slip past his father-in-law’s guard. The lessons of history notwithstanding, Sebastian de Souza had continued to believe in the supremacy of the English race. But illusions that the fall of Singapore had left intact could not long survive daily proximity to Arthur. Four days after Iris returned from her honeymoon, her father informed her of her mistake. The enumeration of his son-in-law’s inadequacies occupied the following half an hour; and then the rest of Sebastian’s days.

  Yet the marriage was not unhappier than most.

  Money was one problem.

  Another was the lack of a child. Arthur made no reproach; but Iris, who had lied to him about her age, was frightened that barrenness would betray her. There was also the dread that Lawrence, fumbling down there, had passed on something unmentionable.

  She consulted doctors, Western-trained and ayurvedic, two specialists, a soothsayer, a faith healer. A priest exorcised the house. Iris implored Saint Anthony to grant her father the blessing of grandchildren, and sent five rupees to a famous temple in the south.

  Finally, when she had exhausted her stratagems, Iris discovered that she was expecting a baby. She was forty-one years old but the pregnancy was uneventful, the delivery easy. They wrapped the infant in clean cloths and presented him to her. She hadn’t known that the universe weighed fi ve pounds, eleven ounces.

  He was named Thomas Sebastian after his grandfathers. But Iris, preparing a bottle of Cow & Gate infant formula, observed his dark limbs and coarse hair, and beheld her mother the crow.

  The danger of a throwback: one reason why respectable whites avoided Eurasians.

  Prices went on rising. Arthur cut down his expenditure on drink to a fifth of his salary.

  Iris had two barres of different heights installed in her large, rectangular hall and opened a dancing school for children. She felt the shame of it: a married woman obliged to work.

  Her qualifications were four years of ballet at a school run by a Frenchwoman; much was made of this in Iris’s prospectus. However, late in life Madame Pauline Duval had taken to appearing at mass draped only in a creamy lace tablecloth. The memory was still vivid in Mangalore. Iris was obliged to lower her fees. Her Academy of Dance attracted only a few dozen children, not all of them from desirable backgrounds. But it covered the cost of St Stephen’s Junior College, where Tommy was now an Upper Infant.

  Matthew Ho’s wife, a bundle with her hair in a knot, turned up to enrol her twin daughters. Iris was pleased to observe that the doughy little tots were devoid of talent.

  Sebastian de Souza died. A grim, protracted death ensuring maximum havoc for Iris and a succession of slovenly nurses.

  Shortly before the end he had a bowel movement, fouling the air. Trying not to inhale, Iris approached with basin and sponge. Her father opened his sunken eyes and addressed her: ‘Dolt.’

  Later, turning it over in her mind, she thought he might have said, Don’t. It was in any case his last message to her.

  Thirty years earlier, he had sold the apartment. A provision in the settlement granted him life tenancy, rent-free. Sebastian had not considered it necessary to impart these facts to his daughter. A lawyer’s letter gave Iris thirty days to vacate the premises.

  Abdul Mustafa Hussein, the new owner, received her in the tiny, lentil-smelling office attached to his dry-goods store. ‘Kwality Remains When Price Is Forgotten’ announced an ominous plaque above his head. But the man in the white cotton skullcap was not unkind, and when Iris began to cry, he was sincerely moved. She was allowed to remain in her ancestral home at a rent that was only mildly scandalous.

  The Academy taught only the basics, flat shoe and barefoot dancing. But a parent withdrew her daughter, saying that Iris’s marble floor was injurious to a dancer’s feet. Iris protested, reasoned, argued, stormed; in vain.

  There came a Saturday when the only children waiting on the verandah were the Ho twins, their pigtails secured with stiff red bows.

  Old Mr Lal retired, entrusting the export of cashews to his brother’s son. Vijay Lal was twenty-nine and had spent two swinging years in Leeds. He had sideburns, and a secretary he called Mini. Vijay summoned all his workers over the age of thirty and explained what was wrong with India. ‘This is a very backward-thinking country. My uncle, for example, went on employing some people for the simple reason he had always done so. I am intending to change all that.’ Then he gave them a month’s notice.‘For the Age of Aquarius we are needing fresh blood.’ He rose from his chair and clicked his fingers. He might have been ordering up the massacre; instead his voice rose in song. He warbled, in a relentless whine, of times that were a’changing. When at last he had finished there was silence. Gradually it dawned on his audience that he expected applause.

  Iris took it with remarkable aplomb. ‘Now we have to emigrate. What I’ve been telling you for years.’

  At first, Arthur put up a resistance. But history was not on his side.

  Every year there were fewer and fewer of those whose hybrid faces branded them the leftovers of Empire. The Pereira boy had gone, the Redden girls were going; the railway Gilberts, all eight of them, had scraped up the fares for Toronto.

  Tom walked up to the lighthouse. The sea hurled itself at the land; went away, bared its teeth and renewed the attack. Passed for Canada. Passed for England . People he had known all his life had been scrutinised like cashews and declared fi t for export. The past was sliding from under his feet. He glimpsed, for the first time, the flux inherent in human affairs.

  The scene struck him as momentous. He felt he was witnessing it from a great height, fixing it in his mind like a memorable passage in a book: the figure in navy shorts on the headland, the turmoil below.

  On Iris’s settee, Matthew Ho turned a sisal brim in his fi ngers and declined Arthur’s offer of whisky and soda.

  He was one of those who had prospered since Independence. But eight months earlier his mother had died, and now Dr Ho had resigned his registrarship at the government hospital. His wife had a cousin in San Diego, and the Hos would be joining his household later that week. ‘There are the children to think of,’ Matthew said, his thin eyes directed at a vase of plastic roses on a teapoy. Altogether the fellow was a queer fish, as Arthur remarked afterwards. ‘Gives the impression he might come out with something neither of you wants to hear.’

  Two bookend children had accompanied Matthew Ho, as if he required material evidence for his case. Tom, instructed to ‘Go and play’ with his guests, led Opal and Pearl onto the verandah. There he scratched a mosquito bite, limp with envy. At the house of a wealthy school friend, he had seen a Co
ca-Cola bottle. Acquired at a diplomatic sale, the empty bottle was displayed on a cabinet along with other trophies. Tom had coveted it at once: teenage, curvaceous, modern; a glass America. He looked at the twins, whose half-moon upper lips showed no indent, and was compelled to say, ‘I’ll probably get a transistor radio for Christmas.’

  Pearl and Opal inspected him in silence. Then their round little mouths twitched. Side by side on the verandah wall, they kicked their four patent-leather feet and laughed in his face.

  ‘Not America.’

  ‘Not England,’ countered Arthur.

  ‘Not England,’ agreed Iris. ‘Why should we suffer The European Winter?’

  Arthur blinked.

  ‘Audrey,’ she reminded him, with quiet triumph. ‘ Australia.’

  Audrey, Arthur’s youngest sister, was the one who had kept in touch. She was not a trivial correspondent, reserving her flimsy blue aerogrammes for weighty communications: the death of their father, a brother-in-law’s appendectomy, the Coronation, her marriage, the decline of England, the prospects that glittered elsewhere.

  Iris, the least practical of women, possessed the foresight that is a by-product of fear. Against just such a day, she had found the postage for Christmas cards, birthday greetings, a studio photograph of the three of them taken against a cardboard Taj Mahal.

  Passed for Australia.

  At the thought of a New World, Arthur felt great weariness. He was not sure he could be dusted off for it. But there was his son’s face, etched with excitement. He had realised, in the first week of his marriage, that his wife was vain, capable of pettiness and not in love with him. In all that concerned the boy, however, her faculty for selfl essness outstripped his own. She would willingly plough herself into the dust for the sake of the future quivering in their son. Arthur thought of rain falling in a far country; one day, turning to grain.

 

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