"By the saints, Gavin, I know Murdoch can be ill-mannered and rough when he is drunk, but Kirkholm has been a second home to him all these years. Surely, he will come to his senses and apologize for his actions so he does not lose the only family he knows."
Gavin spun around, grabbed Logan by his shirt, then let him go and backed away, his chest heaving with anger.
"No! I will accept no apology from him. He is never to set foot on MacPherson land again!"
"But–"
"Do not think to challenge me on this as you have done in the past."
"When have I ever challenged you? Hell, you tell me aught I should do from dawn to dusk. I am no bairn to be ordered about."
"Your body may be full grown, but your actions speak otherwise. When I am away from Kirkholm, I rely on you to stay there to protect your sister and help govern the castle, not run off with your friends to hunt whenever you choose."
"Bloody hell, I only did it once and Megan was well protected inside the keep."
"And what of the many hours you spent outside the castle walls where none could find you, had there been need?" Gavin sighed and laid his hand on his brother's shoulder. "I know you crave adventure, but I must be able to depend on you. Duty comes first."
Logan nodded curtly. "Aye, duty always comes first." He glared at Gavin for a moment, then turned and stomped away.
Dawn was breaking as Gavin saddled his horse. When he finished, he joined the men around the cook fire.
Logan handed him a bowl of porridge and then sat beside him with a bowl of his own. "I have been thinking on what you said. 'Tis true I would seek adventure, but never at the cost of Meggie's safety or the welfare of our clan. I have decided to remain here a few days more to learn aught that I can before I return to Kirkholm."
Gavin looked at his brother proudly. "I am pleased you wish to do so. You may be laird one day and aught you have learned will stand you in good stead."
The sun had burned off the morning mist by the time they finished eating and two herdsmen had saddled their horses to return to Kirkholm.
Logan walked with Gavin to his mount. "Tell Meggie to have all the lasses save an extra dance for me. I shall be more than ready to celebrate when I return."
Gavin reached out and clasped Logan's forearm. "I'll tell her, but see that you are not late or I will have to dance with all the lasses myself." He grinned. "Duty can have its advantages."
Logan grinned as well. "Aye, I see that. Do not count on dancing overmuch, brother, for I vow to be dancing long after you stop to rest your aged bones."
"Ha," Gavin laughed. "We shall see who cries peace before feast night is through." He clapped Logan on the back, mounted Tairneanach, and nodded to the two herdsmen beside him. "Let us be off, lads."
Chapter Fifteen
Ailis looked across the room at the huge barrel of new ale. It had been nearly a fortnight since Gavin had told her he wanted naught to do with her and left her to face Paddy alone in the brewhouse. The first sennight had been pure torment as she tried to convince the old man of the worth of her father's brewing methods.
Insisting she must dampen the barley grain several times and allow it to malt had been near more than the man could take. But after she'd shown him how the malted barley once dried, cracked and added to a mash of dry oats, gave a fuller and stronger yield to the wort, he had seemed to see the merit of her ways. From then on, she had been free to work as she chose.
Ailis called across the room to Paddy. "Is the fire hot enough yet? I need to have it as hot as can be to boil the wort again."
He walked over and nodded with a slight frown. "Aye, lass, but I told ye I dinna see the need of such. We boiled it afore we put it in yon barrel. It is fair ready to drink now."
"Aye, Paddy, perhaps you are right. Pour us up a wee dram and we will see."
He patted her shoulder, walked over and drew off two mugs from the huge barrel of new ale. He returned and handed one to her, then stood there for several moments simply rolling his mug about, looking at its contents. After that, he smelled it, looked over at the large barrel and then sniffed the drink again.
Ailis held her mug and waited anxiously. Would that she could hurry him up! She held her breath as she watched him finally raise his mug to his mouth and taste it.
"By the saints, lass, 'tis delicious! I wouldna have kenned yer ways could make such a difference." He hugged her and then quickly stepped back, his wrinkled face glowing pink.
Ailis swallowed against the lump in her throat and smiled fondly at him. "I am glad you are pleased, Paddy. What say you we rest for a bit and enjoy our labors?" She nodded to a bench across the room and then followed him over to it. But just as he sat, she tripped and spilled her drink.
"Och, be careful, lass. Ye dinna want to be spillin' that." He smiled up at her. "'Tis too fine a drink to lose in the dirt. Here, give me yer mug and I will get ye more." He set his mug down on the bench and started to get up, his knees creaking as he moved.
Ailis shook her head. "Nay, rest. I will get it." She headed to a far corner of the room where the smaller barrels were kept.
"Lass, ye are goin' in the wrong direction. Ye ken we only brewed enough to fill the one big barrel."
She smiled back at him but continued in the same direction. After she had filled her mug from a smaller barrel, she returned and handed it to Paddy.
"Nay, lass, 'tis yours. I have some left."
"I know. But will you taste this just the same?" She held her breath as he did as she asked.
"Bless my soul lass, what is it ye have done? The first is delicious, but this… this is fit fer the king himself!" Ailis sniffed to hold back her tears, then gave up as they rolled down her cheeks. She leaned over and kissed Paddy on the cheek. "Thank you. You could not have said anything to please me more. My da used to say the same to me."
"Fie, lass, dinna be waterin' down such fine ale with yer tears." He patted the bench. "Come sit beside me. We will share this while ye tell me what ye did."
Ailis sat and described how she'd snuck into the brewhouse two nights earlier, drawn off enough new ale for a small barrel, then boiled and skimmed it and added honey before she filled the barrel.
For several wonderful minutes, she basked in Paddy's glowing comments. It was as if she had family again.
"Weel, enough restin'," Paddy said. "We have work to be doin', aye?" He rose from the bench then held out his wrinkled hand to help Ailis up as well. "Go pull us off a wee nip more of yer special brew while I stoke the fire. We have a huge batch of ale to be boilin' today." He winked at her and added, "What a grand drink 'twill be fer the feast! Did ye ken clansmen from all around will be comin' to celebrate with us?" He chuckled as he turned and walked off. "Wait till Laird Munro tastes it! I wager even he canna claim better."
Ailis stood frozen. Other clans were coming to the feast? Sweet Mary, perhaps she would find the one responsible for her family's murder and she would finally be able to avenge them. Then, if she still lived, she would try to put their deaths behind her and start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere far from here.
She glanced at Paddy as he chuckled to himself and added more peat to the fire. The brief happiness she'd known a moment earlier quickly died. By leaving, she would once again be leaving behind people who had become family to her. But there was naught she could do about it. Even if she survived paying her blood debt, Gavin had made it clear he wanted nothing more to do with her. Taking a deep breath for courage, she turned and walked toward the small barrel.
#
Ailis rubbed her sore back as she lifted another small barrel into a cart to be taken to the great hall. She was tired. What with working everyday in the brewhouse and the keep for near a fortnight to help prepare for the feast, and then sleeping poorly, 'twas a wonder she had any strength at all.
At first, she had been relieved to hear Gavin had left Kirkholm to look over the clan herds. She needed time to sort her feelings before she faced him again. But the l
onger he stayed away, the more concerned she became. If he had gone simply to be rid of her for a time and was injured, 'twould be her fault. Though he had made it clear he wanted naught more to do with her, she wished him no ill.
Fie, who are you trying to fool? You are in love with the man whether you admit it or not. She sighed, wishing she could ignore her thoughts but knowing her heart would not let her.
Thinking on it had been enough to worry her, but then another chilling thought had come to her robbing her of many nights' sleep. Sweet Mother Mary, could she have become pregnant from her one moment of weakness? Jenny had confided to her that she had lain with her lover many times. Ailis glanced down at her flat stomach. Her monthly courses should have begun by now.
Wearily, she glanced inside the brewhouse and then back at the cart. Thank the saints, that was the last of the barrels of new ale to be sent to the keep. Nodding to the cart driver, she said, "That is all of it. Please take it to the kitchen as you did the rest. I will be in the solar if anyone has need of me."
Ailis wiped her hands on her dress and climbed the stairs to the second floor feeling almost as tired as the night she'd arrived at Kirkholm. By the saints, she was glad the brewing was done. Paddy had been so pleased with her special ale that he'd insisted they brew another large batch for the feast. They'd worked continuously for days to make sure it would be ready in time.
After entering the empty solar, she sank gratefully into a cushioned chair in and picked up a piece of sewing. Stitching would help calm her frayed nerves and give her time to rest.
An hour later, she looked at her work. In truth, she'd sewn very little but felt more at ease than she had in days. The worry and stress she'd gone through over the last month surely could have delayed her courses. Gavin would return safely and her courses would begin soon. All would be aright.
Late in the afternoon, Megan burst into the solar. "There you are! I have been searching the keep for you."
Startled by Megan's sudden appearance, Ailis dropped her sewing on the floor. She quickly retrieved it, set it on her chair and hurried over to her friend. "Is aught amiss? What is wrong?"
Megan hugged her and twirled her about in a circle. "Nay," she laughed. "Naught is wrong. In truth, everything is wonderful."
Ailis pulled the excited young woman over to a bench by the fireplace and motioned for her to sit beside her. "Tell me what has you so excited."
"He did it. Calum finally asked me to wed him!"
"Oh, Meggie, I am so happy for you!" Ailis hugged her tightly. "'Tis wondrous news. When is it to be?"
Megan's face sobered for a moment. "Well, we must post the banns and prepare for the wedding. Gavin will give us a large section of land to build upon, but we do not wish to wait for aught to be built. We will wed next Quarter Day, on Candlemas!" The bright smile returned to her face and she asked, "Will you help me prepare for the wedding?" She gently gripped Ailis' hands. "You are as a sister to me and there is nay other I would rather have."
Sorrow filled Ailis' heart at the thought. Candlemas was many fortnights away. She would be gone by then. How could she tell Meggie that she would not be there on her wedding day? Merciful heaven, she could not tell her now.
Taking a deep breath, Ailis forced back the guilt she felt. There would be time before she left to say her goodbyes. She nodded and pasted a smile on her lips. "Aye, Meggie."
#
Gavin dismounted in the bailey and handed his reins to a stable boy. "See that Tairneanach gets extra oats, lad. 'Tis been a long journey."
Even with the companionship of two of the herdsmen, the four days' ride back to Kirkholm had been tiresome. All he wanted now was a mug of ale and a long quiet rest before a warm fire.
As soon as he entered the great hall, Gavin saw that the clan had been busy preparing for the feast. Nelli and the others had outdone themselves.
Calum walked up and handed him a large mug of ale. "'Tis glad I am to see ye back, hale and hearty. With the feast set to begin soon, I didna wish to be traipsin' over the hills lookin' for ye. Especially this year."
Gavin took a long drink and said, "What makes this feast any different from any other?"
"Well, if ye had stayed about instead of runnin' off to check the herds, ye would have been here to know. But as ye must agree to the banns bein' read, I willna fault ye for leavin'." Calum's smile turned to a wide grin and he held up his mug in a mock salute. "Your sister has agreed to wed me!"
"Congratulations!" Gavin raised his mug and clunked it against Calum's. "'Tis about time!"
#
As she was soon to be betrothed, Megan sat between Gavin and Calum at the head table. Ailis had tried to join other clan members at another table, but Megan would not hear of it. "Do not be silly, Ailis. Come sit in Logan's seat beside Gavin. Logan will not be here for yet another day or two."
Ailis darted a frantic glance around the great hall. Surely she could think of some reason not to sit there. "Meggie, I fear I am needed elsewhere. The ale still must be seen to in the kitchen and–"
Megan's laughter bubbled over. "You have worked all you are going to today. I insist you join us at the table." Tugging on her arm, Megan led Ailis over to the dais. When Gavin did not acknowledge them, Megan leaned over and said, "Fie, brother, where is your chivalry? Attend to Ailis' chair for her."
Ailis watched his jaw clench as he stood and pulled her chair out for her. She sat and immediately looked down at the table, unwilling to meet his gaze. Merciful saints, she would have to share Gavin's trencher with him. How would she make it through the meal knowing the way he felt about her?
For a moment, her heart thrilled as she saw him reach silently toward her hand. Was he going to be pleasant after all?
Then her heart broke as she watched him pick up the eating dirk and move it beyond her reach. So, they were back to distrust again. And this time, there would be no hope of anything else. Ailis forced back a sob. Her hand trembled as she reached for her wine and took a sip to try to calm her emotions. For Megan's sake, she would be courteous. But never again would she sit beside Gavin. Her heart could take no more pain.
Throughout the hall, the evening meal took on a festive mood despite the undercurrent of strain between Gavin and her and the fact that Logan had not yet returned.
Ailis attempted to eat something and answer Megan's happy chatter but 'twas difficult to do. Sitting so close to Gavin and sensing his disgust was tearing her apart.
She glanced at him as he laughed at something Calum said. He had looked that way the day she brought his lunch to him in the field. The day they had… Nay, she could not think of that. The pain that memory caused was nearly more than she could bear.
She looked away quickly, praying no one paid her any heed. If the others were to learn of what she had done, her shame and grief would truly be more than she could endure.
Suddenly, Gavin stood and called for everyone's attention. "Friends, this eve I have the joyful duty to announce that Calum has asked for the hand of my sister, Megan, and I have given my consent. We will officially celebrate their betrothal at our feast but tonight let us toast to their happiness."
Turning to face them, he raised his goblet and said, "Calum and Megan, God's health and happiness to you. May you know a lifetime of love and contentment together." As he finished, everyone in the hall stood and called out their good wishes to the betrothed couple and drank to the toast.
Gavin glanced coldly at Ailis as he sat down. Her heart fell to her feet at the bitterness in his eyes. 'Twas as if his passionate words earlier had ne'er been said. Nay, 'twas worse than that. Now he looked upon her with dislike. Or worse. She longed to leave the hall, to go far from his cold gaze, but she must stay for Megan's sake.
After the happy announcement, additional platters of food were brought out from the kitchen and the eating and drinking continued for another hour.
Finally, when Ailis' nerves were stretched as taut as a bowstring, several people began to make their wa
y from the hall to seek their beds. She hurriedly bid good night to Calum and Megan and left. She gripped her skirts tightly in her hands as she climbed the stairs to the chamber she shared with Megan. Surely the quiet darkness there, far from Gavin's censorious gaze, would calm her anxiety and give her peace.
After she entered the room, she changed to her night shift and lay down on the bed without benefit of a candle. She wanted naught to keep her from sleeping. For only then did she hope to forget her desolation over Gavin's rejection.
For quite some time, she tossed and turned as she listened to the sounds of revelers in the great hall. Later, when it became quiet, she merely stared at the cold stone walls of the chamber, and though she tried desperately not to think on it, her mind filled with bittersweet memories of the day she'd given herself to Gavin.
Never before had she viewed a man's body exposed to her as his had been. But in truth, even had she knowledge of scores of men to judge him by, 'twas nay doubt he would be the most handsome and braw man among them. His deep green eyes had drawn her to him from the beginning. And when he smiled at her in his special way, her bones near turned to water, leaving her dizzy, unable to pull her gaze from his handsome face.
She had enjoyed lying beside him on the journey from Craigmuir with the feel of his broad chest, thickly muscled arms and long legs snuggled against her. But, by heaven, she had never guessed at the pleasure to be had in seeing him naked. God forgive her, the sight had thrilled her, entranced her.
When he had bent over her so that her eyes had been drawn from his beautiful face, downward over his expansive chest to his tight, flat stomach with its arrow of dark hair descending to his immense manhood, she had nay been able to pull her astonished gaze from it. Seeing it thrusting toward her, she had been filled with momentary trepidation. He had been so large she had been fearful of the pain she knew would come.
The Talisman (Heart of the Highlander Series Book 2) Page 23