by Jennie Adams
He hasn’t avoided you at all, Latitia. You’ve seen loads of him.
Lally frowned. That was right, she had seen loads of him, so why did she almost feel as though she was missing him?
‘Jodie’s fine,’ Mum said.
Lally bit her lip. ‘Good. I’m glad.’ She was. And, if the answer to her other question was that she wanted Cam all over her with gentle feelings, and maybe the need to kiss her again, then she needed to stop longing for things that were completely out of the question. She was better off without them, because she really wasn’t ready to face that kind of emotional gymnastics again.
You don’t deserve ever to have a meaningful fulfilling relationship. Not after all the harm you’ve caused in the past.
The thought sent a shaft of pain through Lally’s chest. ‘What were we talking about?’
‘You were telling us about your hunky new employer,’ Auntie declared, and a grin split her weathered brown face.
‘My boss has insomnia,’ Lally said primly, and in a depressing tone focused on stopping Auntie’s speculations. ‘I woke three times last night, and every time I could see a strip of light beneath his office door and knew he was in there, working.’
Lally had been restless; she’d been restless ever since the night he’d kissed her, to be honest. ‘I wanted to know about bush foods and remedies for Cam in case there might be something that would help him sleep better.’
Her voice softened when she said his name; it went completely to mush just like that. And, because that was such a give away, Lally felt a blush build beneath her skin. She needed to put Auntie and Mum off the scent, not encourage more speculation.
‘Fresh food is a good start, of course.’ Auntie spoke as she examined Lally’s face.
‘For Cam, yes.’ Mum chipped in with her opinion, and a gleam in her eyes that definitely seemed to hold a hint of satisfaction.
Could the family have conspired to get Lally out into the world, as she’d wondered, with a view to her meeting a man, maybe?
Lally glanced at her watch and found a sudden need to become highly time-efficient. ‘I should get on with my shopping while we finish this talk.’ Lally strode to the nearest fruit stall and lifted a ripe pawpaw. If this also happened to mean that she wasn’t quite so obviously the centre of their speculation, well, that was purely happenstance.
Mum and Auntie quickly caught up with her, and Lally decided, if they were talking, she might as well spit out something else that she’d avoided once already this morning. It was bothering her. She was better off dealing with it so it could stop doing so.
Lally turned. ‘This job is the first one I’ve had where I wasn’t working for family. I want to do well at this, but I also need to know I’ll be coming back to the family the minute my work is done for Cameron Travers. Someone will need me, won’t they?’
‘Oh, well, I’m sure they will, but haven’t you found spreading your wings to be fun? It sounds as though it has been.’ Mum went on, ‘You say your employer bought you a dress and a handbag, and you helped him with research on the roof of a hotel at midnight?’
Well, not at midnight, but Lally supposed that was near enough. And, yes, it had been exciting. It just had also become somewhat complicated by the end of the night. ‘Yes, we did some research for his current book.’ Lally paid for the pawpaw and set it gently into the bottom of her shopping basket. ‘But, truly, the only reason I brought up his name this morning is because I want to try to help him sleep better. He looks so exhausted.’ She turned to her aunt. ‘Do you have any ideas?’
Auntie’s wrinkled face creased into even deeper lines. ‘There are bush foods and remedies; it depends on why he’s that way in the first place. Has he seen a doctor?’
‘I asked him about that the other day. He’s visited doctors and sleep specialists, done all the sleep studies. I think he’s tried everything he’s been told to try and come to the end of the line with no real solutions.’ Lally hesitated. ‘It’s not that he’s not alert, because he always is—he’s sharp as a whip—it’s just that…’
‘He’s sharp while he’s pushing himself, can’t relax, only sleeps until the edge is off his exhaustion, then he wakes and it’s on again for another day for him.’ Auntie nodded.
She transferred her hold from Mum’s arm to Lally’s and they made their way through the remaining market-stalls. Lally worked through her shopping list while Auntie talked.
‘You remember the tribal elder I took you to visit when you were a girl?’ Auntie named the elder. ‘He has a store. He and his wife know just about all there is to know about this kind of thing. It might be worth giving them a call.’
Lally did remember, and wished she’d thought of this earlier. ‘Thanks. That’s exactly what I need.’
They completed the shopping. ‘Thanks for meeting me this morning. I should get back to work.’
Mum laid her hand on Lally’s arm. ‘If you’re interested in your boss…’
Yes, there was definitely a gleam in Mum’s eyes that said ‘the plan is working.’ Auntie’s too.
Lally’s mouth formed words before she could stop them. ‘You all ganged together to say there was no work so I’d get out more, didn’t you?’
She wanted to be angry, to say ‘how could you?’
But Mum gave a sheepish nod and came right out and admitted it. ‘We wanted you to have some fun, Lally. Maybe this boss…’
‘He kissed me and I kissed him back, but it was a bad idea on both our parts and neither of us wants it.’ Lally drew a breath. Apparently her mother still possessed the ability to get her to confess, even when it should have been Mum doing the confessing. ‘I just care about his insomnia issues. It’s in my nature to care. I’ve always cared about the family.’
Lally gave Mum a stern stare. ‘Even when they’ve tossed me out on some made-up pretext without so much as a by your leave.’
‘The family cares about you, Lally.’ Mum sighed. ‘Please don’t be angry. Maybe we shouldn’t have done that, but it’s only for two months. We wanted to help, to see you enjoy yourself, maybe just make some nice friends.’
‘Or meet a man friend?’ Lally shook her head. ‘I wish you hadn’t. You don’t understand.’ But she wasn’t mad, and she gave Mum a hug to make that clear. ‘It’s too late to change anything now, but I’d appreciate it if you all didn’t do this again.’
‘We interfered too much. I’m sorry, Lally.’ Mum looked guilt-ridden.
Lally let it go. ‘It’s okay.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘In a family the size of ours, interfering happens. I know that.’ Lally couldn’t explain why she didn’t want a man in her life again. She bit her lip.
Auntie had wandered a little distance while Lally and Mum talked. She returned now and glanced at her watch. ‘Are you ready to go, Susan?’
‘Indeed I am.’ Mum gave Lally another hug.
Auntie gave Lally a hug.
Lally hugged both of them back, and then there were more quick words and waves. There was no need to say anything to Auntie about the rest of it.
They disappeared, and Lally walked towards the exit of the market. It was only a few blocks back to her boss’s development; maybe the walk would help her to clear her mind. At least she knew what her family had been up to now. They’d better all start contacting her again, or she would have something to say about that!
Lally glanced into her basket, checked the contents one last time and realised she’d forgotten the baby-spinach leaves she’d wanted to use in a warm chicken salad for lunch. She turned around and strode back into the heart of the market again.
‘Lally, wait up, I’ll carry the basket for you.’ It was Cam’s voice, morning-roughened and deep.
He’d called from behind her; Lally turned her head and looked over her shoulder and there he was, his gaze fixed on her as he strode forward through the crowd.
Her heart did a ridiculous lift. The world seemed suddenly brighter simply because she’d caught a glance of his face, a glimpse of a smile a
nd softened expression directed her way.
Oh, Lally, can’t you do better than that at resisting how he makes you feel? Do you want to end up out of your depth again? He’s already made it clear he isn’t interested.
Lally just couldn’t trust again. The risks were too big. So she had to focus on the ways she could be a good employee to him.
As he joined her, Lally examined his face for signs of weariness—she found them. ‘You couldn’t sleep again this morning?’
‘No, and I’m sorry if I disturbed you last night.’ He scrubbed a hand over his jaw; it bore a day’s beard-growth. That combined with a pair of jeans, black T-shirt, and shades pushed up on his head, looked just a little disreputable. Appealingly so.
Not noticing, Lally!
She said quickly, ‘You didn’t disturb me. I was already awake. I’m just sorry you haven’t been managing to sleep more.’
‘That’s how it is.’ He took her arm and raised his eyebrows. ‘Where are you headed? When I first spotted you, I thought you’d finished and were ready to go home.’
He’d walked here just to meet her, to carry the basket for her; Lally handed it over and Cam held it easily in one hand.
She drew a breath. ‘I forgot to get baby spinach. I want it for our lunch.’ Healthy foods, healthy ingredients; she would try to help Cam eat well and sleep better. She had to try. ‘Have you had a check-up lately for your insomnia? There might be new treatments. I meant to ask that when we discussed this the other day.’
‘I have check-ups a couple of times a year.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘So far, permanently fixing it for me hasn’t worked out. I know it’s not something people can put up with.’
Now, what did he mean by that?
‘Let’s get the spinach. Over there?’ He waited while she made her purchase, and then walked with her back to the exit. They walked through and started back home along the sub urban streets.
Lally had to stop thinking of it as home. It wasn’t even particularly home-like; the project was going to be full of rental apartments, for goodness’ sake, and Cam wouldn’t even be staying here once the work was done. Just because she’d become used to thinking of all sorts of places among her family as home didn’t mean she could add Cam’s property-development project to that list.
Lally didn’t know what he’d meant about people not putting up with his insomnia, but was the answer all that relevant? She could try to help him, that was all.
‘I met my mother and aunt here this morning and asked Auntie about folklore. Changes in diet and some bush remedies may help—they won’t harm you, and I’d like to try.’
‘You’re welcome to do that.’ It was clear he meant it. ‘It’s thoughtful of you.’
Lally’s heart did an odd little stutter. ‘I’m happy to do that.’ Don’t let yourself be too happy with him, Lally. It’s dangerous.
But she turned her face up to the sun and felt happiness get her anyway. ‘I think it’s going to be quite hot later today.’
‘Yes, help yourself to a swim in the pool if you want to. It’s safe to swim in now.’ He led her around a child’s tricycle that had been left abandoned on the footpath. ‘I swam in it myself this morning before I came out to find you. The water’s the perfect temperature, thanks to the pool’s heating.’
‘I brought a swimsuit; I might take a dip some time. We could—I mean I…’ Lally cut herself off quickly before she could say more. What she definitely must not do was let her mind wander to swimming in that pool with her employer.
At midnight, when it was quiet and silent and they had complete privacy to bathe by moon light, or at least by city light. Either way would be quite romantic.
Which ruled the idea out entirely!
As for her happiness, that stemmed from no longer feeling uneasy about her work future, or her family.
Yes. It was all about that.
Cameron watched the changes of expression cross Lally’s face, watched interest and attraction to him war with good sense.
Lally had met with her mother and aunt at least in some part for his sake. Cam couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something to try to care for him. He couldn’t remember that ever happening. His mother hadn’t exactly been the type, and he’d gone out on his own the first chance he’d got anyway.
Nowadays his mother just gave in to her wandering gene completely and went wherever the mood took her without ever making even a half-hearted effort to convince herself to try to settle anywhere.
Most of the time he wouldn’t have been able to track her down if he’d wanted to. The thing was he pretty much didn’t want to any more.
Whatever missing gene his mother lacked when it came to family had passed squarely down to Cam. He’d got over trying to connect with her.
Yet he would have liked to meet some of Lally’s family.
‘I’m sorry I missed meeting your mother and aunt.’ Cam tucked her hand more securely against his side. ‘And thank you for wanting to help with my sleep issues. Having you around to do some of the day-to-day things is a help all by itself, whether I’m sleeping more as a result or not.’
He turned his head to smile down into her upturned face. Had he gone about with blinkers on until now to stop himself from truly noticing loveliness? Because Lally was lovely in ways he hadn’t seen before in anyone else. Beautiful, oh yes, she was that—but her beauty came from inside her as well as from her looks. He’d wanted—no, needed—to dress her in that vibrant outfit last week to pay homage to that beauty, to see it shine, and let all the world see it shine.
The night might have started out as an attempt at trying to rattle his muse loose, and Cam was grateful that that had indeed happened and he’d made good progress with his book since then. But he’d taken pleasure in Lally from the outset that evening. He forced himself to admit this.
Lally had shone. Her eyes had glowed, and she’d chosen the sexiest pair of high heels and worn them as though she’d been made to wear such things. Cam had wanted to sweep her up and kiss her senseless.
He’d done exactly that, and come out of it feeling as if he’d been the one swept off his feet at the top of that building. He hadn’t been able to get their kiss out of his mind since. For the first time in his life, Cam was faced with a particular dilemma that he hadn’t faced before: he wanted something that he knew he couldn’t have, and he couldn’t seem to get past the depth of that wanting. He wanted that closeness with Lally again, wanted to be able to take it forward, but he wasn’t capable of successfully doing that, and he knew it.
‘Auntie knows a lot of bush lore, remedies from our people that might help you.’ Lally’s eyes had softened and mellowed into warm, sherry pools.
Cam noted that, noted the sting of deeper colour across her cheekbones, and felt the skin of his face tighten in response. Did she know he could see her awareness, her interest, even as she did all she could to fight it? She was trying to stick to the topic of helping him somehow, and even that was way too sweet of her. But her expression also gave away other feelings.
Cam shouldn’t want to see that…
Lally’s gaze locked with Cam’s and for a long moment she didn’t breathe. Her body distilled into consciousness of Cam even as they walked the final stretch of footpath and began to hear the sounds of construction, men calling to each other, hammers, drills and pieces of timber being lifted and dropped.
Her gaze shifted to a point just below Cam’s chin. ‘I won’t try any quack remedies on you, in case you’re worried. Auntie would never recommend anything dangerous, or suggest I consult with anyone who would. I know I can trust her judgement with that.’
‘What does your aunt do for a living? Or is she retirement age?’ Cam asked the question to force his thoughts away from wanting to take her into his arms, but he realised he was truly interested. In fact, he admitted he had been intrigued and interested in Lally’s history from the day they’d met. He’d put that down to the curiosity of his writer’s mind, but
he had to admit this felt more personal. He wanted to know Lally, know her deeply, understand what made her tick.
Cam had needed to figure out the female character for his book. Lally had helped him with that.
But the need to know Lally, to understand her, that was something that still burned in Cam.
‘My aunt is an artist and a potter.’ A hint of pride crept into Lally’s voice. ‘Her pottery and clay sculptures are truly unique and very beautiful. She’s fifty-five but I don’t think she has any plans to stop working on her art any time soon.’
‘Your family seems to have a lot of talent between them.’ Cam’s words held admiration.
‘I think so. I’m very proud of them.’ Lally waited while Cam walked them through the courtyard area and into his apartment.
And then she did what she needed to do, and had to keep doing until it became her habit, her ‘this is how it is and will go on being’ self.
‘Thank you for carrying the produce for me. If you have anything new for my duties list, please jot it down and leave it on the kitchen bench for me. I’m going to start some laundry and then I’ll be back to prepare breakfast. I’m sure you’ll be very busy, so I’ll make sure I keep out of your way.’
Without looking at Cam’s face, Lally removed herself to the laundry and buried her thoughts in the process of sorting the fluffies from the non-fluffies.
That was what housekeepers did—and her work was all Lally should focus on doing!
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I WISH I could figure out what’s missing from the courtyard area.’ Cam had just come from a phone call that Lally had asked him to take and had walked into the kitchen to return the mobile phone to her.
The call had been about an issue happening at his Sydney firm, and he’d resolved it easily enough. When he rejoined Lally in the kitchen, his gaze had shifted to the courtyard, and he’d again been struck by the thought that something was missing out there. ‘I’ve already discussed with the site boss making the courtyard a feature area in the complex. He’s advised against it. He feels that smaller, separate outdoor-areas would be the way to go. But people might want to be able to mingle.’