He watched her throat work before she responded, “Thank you.”
Nodding once, he asked, “So, do you think there’s anything else you need tonight?”
* * *
Rachel wanted Kevin. She’d always wanted him, and had even married her ex while wanting the man in front of her. Limping over to stand before him, she saw not only what every other woman on the planet saw, but also the man who’d been her brother’s best friend since they were all kids.
That man tried to make things happen, even if he couldn’t personally do them. He gave money to charities and set up programs he couldn’t run, but his money could give a jumpstart to.
But he was also the man who’d slept with a different woman more nights out of the year than not, every single year since he’d graduated from college. She’d already been the poor little wife in one marriage, she never wanted to feel the betrayal of seeing someone she was committed to having sex with someone else. If she let Kevin make love to her, and it would be making love in her mind, she would never want to let him go. His track record said he was so far from being a one-woman man, it wasn’t even funny.
She couldn’t do that to herself. Shaking her head and grabbing hold of her determination, she said, “I need some kind of brush. I think I might have one in my purse. Could you bring my purse to me, please? And if I don’t have one, do you have one I could use?”
Kevin stared at her long and hard, studying her face, before nodding once and taking off in a flash. He was back in no time with her purse, and thankfully she did have a brush and a ponytail holder.
He didn’t move away after handing over her purse, and she needed to get him out of the room.
“So, thanks for everything. Letting me stay, the clothes, laundry, bandaging my ankle, all that stuff.”
“You sure you don’t need anything else?”
She infused as much lightness into her voice as she could. “Nope, I’m good.” Part of her didn’t want to shoot him down. The other part of her remembered an approximate number of women who hadn’t shot him down.
He slowly moved toward the door, then looked back. “‘Kay. G’night, Rachel. I hope you’re able to sleep well. If you do decide you need something, you only need to give a shout.”
“Got it. Thanks again.”
With that, he was gone, and she was alone.
* * *
Gah. Two hours later and she was still lying in bed, watching the time on the clock change every minute. Sure, she could sleep the afternoon and evening away. Who couldn’t? Tonight, though...tonight her brain could spin at a thousand miles per hour and not let her relax enough to go to sleep.
Her thoughts churned and churned. Did Kevin know about David cheating on her with gobs of his employees and a ton of other women in the Southeast? It didn’t seem like it because he didn’t bring up the subject of her breakup again after dinner. If he did know, had Tim told him? If so, she was going to strangle her brother for sharing her most humiliating secret.
The one question she’d wanted to ask him, especially in a situation where they were telling each other the truth, was if he’d ever slept with one of his employees. Yes, he’d slept with a ton of women, and it wasn’t like he had an entourage of people working for him, but he did have some, and some of them were women.
That part of the betrayal equation was the hardest for her to stomach. She’d seen a counselor during her separation, trying to come to terms and figure out what exactly it was about that scenario that cut her so deeply, but she hadn’t gotten very far before school craziness took over and she stopped showing up for her appointments.
Mixed in with all the other many thoughts were pictures her mind dragged up. Listening to him on the phone setting up scholarships for kids to go to local summer camps. Watching him stay late after games to sign autographs for kids. Kevin at the lake or pool during his rare time off during the summer. Him warming up and stretching before a game. His body moving in those tight uniform pants.
Crap. Now, not only couldn’t she sleep, but she was all hot and bothered, and it was her own damn fault. She’d shot him down. Throwing off the covers, she made it to the bathroom without falling, tripping or stubbing a toe. Splashing water on her face did nothing to cool her thoughts down and keep her mind from going down the road it wasn’t supposed to go down.
Finally abandoning the guest bedroom, she decided to see what was available to eat in the kitchen. She limped on tiptoes down the stairs, trying her hardest not to make any noise in case Kevin was having as much trouble sleeping as she was.
The fridge was fairly well stocked, including cheeses, meats, a few different vegetables and some fruit. But none of that was what she wanted. What she really had a hankering for was some good old-fashioned milk and cookies.
She pulled out the gallon of milk and opened the glass cabinet door. The creak that greeted her hadn’t been there earlier in the day, or else she just hadn’t noticed it. She froze in her tracks, waiting to hear any movement from elsewhere in the house.
When she heard nothing, she continued on her late-night snack foraging adventure. The pantry door was even louder than the glass cabinet door and she almost let out a sigh of frustration. At this rate, she could’ve turned on all the lights and boldly announced her presence rather than sneaking around like a burglar.
After waiting a few moments and still hearing nothing, she brought the pack of cookies to the kitchen island and dug in. Her cookie munching wasn’t exactly quiet, but if the squeaks and groans of the doors hadn’t brought Kevin out of his room, the cookies probably wouldn’t either.
The light flipped on, and the sight that greeted her was Kevin in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt.
She froze in midchew, but Kevin only stared at her.
Fine, he could be that way.
She reached into the cookie container, pulled one out and bit into it heartily. Following the cookies up with the milk was perfection. As she swallowed, Kevin’s gaze homed in on her throat. She took longer between gulps, but his eyes never wandered.
The tension in the air became more and more unbearable. One of them had to break the silence and say something. Anything.
“I, uh, didn’t hear you come out of your room.”
“That’s because I, uh, wasn’t in my room,” he tossed back at her.
“Oh.” She paused, thinking about that answer. “Where were you?”
“On the couch.”
“Why weren’t you sleeping in your room?”
He waited a beat before answering. “I couldn’t sleep in my room, so I came out here to stare at the snow falling, the Christmas decorations and think about my life.”
She hadn’t realized that it’d started snowing again.
“Did you figure anything out?”
He moved from the doorway and slowly made his way to her. What was he up to? As she was ready to ask him, he reached out and picked a crumb off her shirt. Her shirt that was really his shirt and was covering her braless chest. She tore her gaze away from him and looked down. To her horror, she’d gotten cookie crumbs all over the front of her.
Kevin popped the crumb in his mouth and she sucked in a surprised breath, which she held while he picked each crumb from the shirt and popped in his mouth.
Arousal had her clenching her legs together, hoping beyond hope that she didn’t embarrass herself right then.
“Delicious.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but then all thought fled when he picked up her milk glass and placed his mouth in the exact spot she’d had hers, finishing the last few swallows that were left.
In her mind, he was kissing her without actually kissing her, and that just wouldn’t do. Not after all the tossing and turning and thoughts and imaginings. She wanted his mouth on hers. She wanted to know what his lips felt like, tasted like. But what if he rejected her since she’d already basically told him no? What if it’d just been a coincidence that he’d put his mouth there? What if she couldn’t compe
te with all the many women who had come before her?
Aaaaand that right there was the question that stabbed at her the most. Her heart couldn’t handle finding out the truth. Not yet. Maybe someday.
“The cookies are delicious. I’ve never tried that brand before.” Could she have come off sounding any stupider? Good Lord. She’d never tried that brand before?
He stepped even closer to her, which she hadn’t thought was even possible. She didn’t dare look up at his face, instead focusing on his chest. His bare chest. She shouldn’t be focusing there either. She was so screwed. “Yes, the cookies are delicious, but they aren’t what I find most delicious at this moment.”
She cranked her head back to look into his gorgeous face. The face so many women had gotten a chance to touch and kiss. That was what she needed to hold on to here. She didn’t want to be another notch on his bedpost. “They’re not?” Could her voice get any higher in the squeak range?
“No.” With that, he wrapped his arms around her and lowered his head. He pressed soft kisses to the corner of her mouth, then moved to the other corner, before settling on her lips. He continued pressing soft kisses along the length of her lips, his lips soft and undemanding.
A thrill shot through her. Kevin Ganlin was kissing her, and his lips were perfect.
He pulled back slightly. “Open for me, Rachel. Let me in.”
She parted her lips slightly and he took her mouth with his. The kisses that had been so soft were replaced with firm control of her mouth. His tongue slipped inside, and next thing she knew, his tongue glided along hers, twisting and twining, over and over, until they had to break apart for air, his teeth scraping her lip as he pulled away. He placed another soft kiss on her lips, followed by one more before he straightened to his full height.
“You are definitely the delicious one around here.”
She had to make a decision. Did she say screw it and enjoy the rest of the night in his bed, consequences be damned? Or did she stick to her guns with every ounce of willpower she had?
“Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll clean up my plate and glass, then leave you to your thinking while staring at the snow.”
She immediately turned away, not daring to look at him while she went about doing the quick clean up.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you stopping this?”
“I can’t be with a man who goes through women like you do.”
He groaned. “I don’t anymore. That was the past. I’m not like that.”
“I just can’t. I like you too much to ruin our friendship.” And she loved him too much to survive his dumping her once he realized she wasn’t enough for him.
Heading out of the kitchen with her slight limp, she chanced a glance at his face without thinking. His mouth was slightly open in astonishment and he wore a very confused look. She could still change her mind by going straight to his bedroom, because he’d follow, but she wasn’t going to do that. Instead, she headed up the stairs and turned into the guest room.
She’d kick herself for blowing her one and only chance tomorrow morning. Tonight, she prayed for quick sleep to finally overtake her.
Chapter Seven
Not enough sleep, restless tossing and turning, and satisfaction only from his own hand threatened to make Kevin a very grumpy person this morning. Tiredness and hunger warred with politeness. He wanted to stay in bed, but he had a guest and he shouldn’t make her have to find her own breakfast in his house.
Especially not after mauling her last night.
Maybe not mauling. Probably too strong a word.
But he had kissed her and it had been just as amazing as he’d thought it would be. Dreamed it would be. Those dreams he wasn’t supposed to have, because she was completely off-limits to him and yet, he had them anyway.
Rachel was obviously the smarter of the two of them. She’d said no, walked away.
He hauled himself out of bed, did his best to ignore the dark circles under his eyes and got dressed. Her friendship, their relationship, was too important to ruin it over a kiss. They could still be friends. He wouldn’t stop wanting her—no way was that going to happen—but he could do his best to move beyond any awkwardness there might be between them. She was important enough to him that he would give it his all.
Making his way to the kitchen, he ignored the island. Or tried to. Not easy when he wanted a repeat of her soft lips against his.
Food. That’s what he could focus on. Pulling the bacon out from the fridge first, he laid the package on the counter next to the stove then began preparing the slices for frying. With the grease popping and hissing, he missed the telltale sounds of Rachel making her way down the stairs and across the family room to the kitchen. It wasn’t until he heard a shy “Good morning” and he slung grease across the stove controls that he realized he wasn’t alone.
Here was his chance to make sure no awkwardness existed between them. Talk about pressure. He could do this.
“Good morning. I was fixing us some bacon first and then figured I’d cook up some eggs. What kind do you like?” He wasn’t sure whether the light, easygoing tone he was going for came through, so he hoped whatever came out, combined with the words, put her at ease. He didn’t want a shy Rachel hanging around.
A brief hesitation, then, “I usually like fried eggs, but scrambled will be a lot easier to make.” She came closer. “Do you want me to start working on scrambling up a bunch in a bowl?”
“That’d be great. We can use this pan when I’m done with all the bacon.” He reached up and handed her the only mixing bowl he had in the house.
“Too bad we didn’t think to make pancakes first.” She pulled the eggs out of the fridge and began breaking them.
His stomach growled. Pancakes would’ve hit the spot. “I don’t have any pancake mix. I’ve never been able to get them right so I didn’t bother picking any up.”
“Next time, look for the kind that’s already premixed and comes in a bottle. All you have to do is pour it onto the griddle or into the pan, and cook.”
Letting slide the idea that there would be a next time, he focused on turning the bacon over and not letting it burn. “I’m thinking I could probably still burn them or mess them up while turning.”
“Oh, that’s easy. Make smaller pancakes, like the size they make for the kids’ plates at IHOP.”
“Like I’m supposed to know what the kids’ plates at IHOP look like.”
“Doofus. As much as you like pancakes, I know you have to have been recently.” She shook her head while using a fork to beat the eggs.
“Doesn’t mean I paid attention to the kids’ menu.”
“Unbelievable. You’re the least observant man I know.”
He let that statement go. She’d never know just how observant he was.
Ignoring the freckles on the back of her neck, he turned the bacon one last time before prepping a plate and paper towel for holding the strips. There was still enough tension in the air between them, not like the day before when they were in the kitchen making lunches, that he felt the need to continue the conversation.
“Do you make pancakes with that liquid batter stuff or do you make your own?”
“I make my own. Now, I do use pancake mix, but I make up the batter. I don’t buy the premade batter at the store.”
“How do you know the stuff in the bottle is any good?”
“I figure it’s got to be better than a batter someone’s afraid of messing up. If you’ve messed up batter in the past, you’re better off using some that’s already premixed.” She waited for him to remove the last of the bacon strips from the pan before pouring the egg mixture in.
“Looks like the weather system we had yesterday and overnight has moved through.” He’d been reduced to talking about the weather. Great. Brilliant conversationalist he was. But he couldn’t help noticing the sun shining brightly through the windows, because it caught the red and gold hig
hlights in her hair, making them shine as brightly.
“Fix some toast while I’m doing this.” She stirred the eggs around, carefully making sure uncooked egg made it to the bottom of the pan. “After breakfast, we should catch the forecast. See if I can head home soon and get out of your hair.”
He didn’t want her out of his hair. But it wasn’t like she could stay up there with him. Her brother would kick his ass if he even tried something like that. No, their best bet—his best bet—was to get her off the mountain and back home before anyone began missing her.
“What would you like to do until it’s safe for you to head home?”
Shrugging, she scooped some eggs onto plates while he added the bacon and toast. “I can help you put up some more Christmas decorations. I know you won’t get it all done if I don’t help you out.”
That was the truth. He didn’t care about the stupid decorations any longer. It wasn’t like she was going to be back up anytime soon to enjoy them with him, and all they’d do was remind him of her. Her time in his house and her ideas for Christmas.
Nothing was going according to plan and it all just sucked.
He wasn’t quite sure what kind of look he had on his face, but when Rachel looked up at him, a frown line formed between her eyebrows. Remembering his promise to make it as easy as possible for them to remain friends, he cleared his face and thought of his new truck. There, that had to be a much more neutral look than the one he’d had, even if it wasn’t quite pleasant.
“Sounds like a plan. We’ll keep an eye on the forecast, put a game on and finish putting up the decorations.”
The smile that lit up her face was worth it. She loved Christmas and everything about it, including the decorating. She didn’t even have a problem taking down all the decorations, because she liked putting them safely away so they were ready to get out the next year.
His ringing phone interrupted his thoughts. Glancing at the display, he let out an internal groan. He didn’t want to talk to Paige. Not with Rachel gifting him with that smile.
For My Own: A Contemporary Christmas Anthology Page 18