‘It’s good to see you back,’ Jo said. ‘How are you getting on?’
‘I’ve been to the doc’s this morning, that’s why I’m late,’ he explained. ‘Coming back to work was the right thing to do. I still have my moments but I’m getting there. One day at a time.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. I really am.’
Simon hesitated then said, ‘I heard about David.’ There was another pause, a familiar one to Jo, where the person in front of her tried to decide whether to offer condolences or hope. ‘He came to see me while I was off.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Jo said as she tried not to let her pain show. She didn’t want to be reminded of how kind-hearted and thoughtful her husband could be. She was more than happy for the police to keep an open mind – but if she wanted to continue to function, hers needed to be closed to all possibilities except one.
‘I can’t believe David would leave you in the lurch, not like this,’ Simon added. It was another familiar response that was starting to grate on Jo’s nerves. ‘The way he talked about you and the baby – he was so excited about becoming a dad.’
At first Jo was too stunned to say anything. She had watched David gradually getting used to the idea of impending fatherhood, or so she had thought, but after discovering his note, she had convinced herself that it had been an act, played out occasionally in front of others for her benefit. It was the first time she had heard of David talking about the baby so positively while she hadn’t been there to be hoodwinked. Realizing her mouth was an ‘Oh’ of amazement she swallowed hard and said, ‘Really? What did he say?’
‘Well—’
‘We should be going, Jo,’ interrupted Kelly, who had been more interested in the dropping temperature than the conversation.
‘And I need to get going too, I’ve got a morning’s work to catch up on,’ Simon said. ‘But anytime you want to have a chat, give me a call. It would be nice to feel like I was doing something to repay his kindness, and yours too.’
Jo half expected him to give her a hug goodbye and when they shook hands politely it left her surprisingly disappointed.
‘I still think Mr Harrison is pulling the wool over our eyes. Have you seen how many medical appointments he’s attended since coming back?’ Kelly said once she was in Jo’s car. They were travelling together today so there was no escaping her assistant’s scepticism.
‘And did you also notice how he’s been more than making up his hours over the rest of the week? Simon Harrison is a good man who has been through a very rough time. It happens, Kelly. There but for the grace of God and all that,’ Jo said with more emotion than even she had expected. She couldn’t compare what she was going through with Simon’s post-traumatic stress but she certainly appreciated how little control even the strongest-minded person could have over their own thoughts and emotions.
‘You can’t deny that the sickness rates at this site are way too high,’ Kelly said stubbornly. ‘It might be worth reviewing procedures and retraining the site supervisors.’
‘Maybe.’ Jo was only half listening as she checked her mobile before starting the car. She had switched her phone to silent and had missed a call. ‘I won’t be a minute,’ she said as she dialled a number that was already stored in her directory. Jo’s hands were trembling when Martin Baxter picked up after only two rings.
‘Would you be able to come into the station?’ he asked. ‘I need you to check some CCTV footage for me.’
‘New footage?’
‘Someone accessed David’s bank account from a cash machine yesterday.’
‘David?’ Jo’s hand gripped the phone so tightly that it almost slipped out of her hand, which had suddenly become sweaty.
‘It’s not a great image so I wouldn’t like to say. We need you to take a look.’
‘Where? Where was he?’
‘Liverpool city centre. I don’t want you to build your hopes up and, like I said, the footage isn’t particularly clear so even you may not be able to identify him.’
‘I’m on my way,’ Jo said, cutting the call and turning to Kelly who had been listening intently.
‘They’ve found him?’
‘That’s what I need to find out. Do you mind if we make a detour?’ Jo asked. She had already started up the engine and was putting the car in gear.
Kelly grabbed the steering wheel. ‘Yes I do mind, actually.’ Before Jo could give her an earful, Kelly added, ‘You’re in no fit state to drive anywhere. I’ll do it.’
As Jo clambered out of the car and fought against the wind, she didn’t notice the beads of sweat turning to ice on her brow or that her legs had turned to jelly. She was only aware of the great expanse of open space around her and in particular every window, every fence and every tree large enough to hide a grown man. David was still out there and she could feel his eyes upon her.
15
Jo was sitting at a desk covered in sticky coffee stains so she kept her hands on her lap, her fingers brushing against her bump although she didn’t caress it as she had once done. She stared intently at the CCTV footage that came to life on the computer screen. The camera was pointing down towards the man standing at a cash machine although the image was so poor that he looked as if he were in the middle of a snow storm and he kept his head bowed as he keyed in his pin number.
Leaning in closer, Jo peered at the features she could only just discern. She could see the tip of the man’s nose and his left hand, which could either belong to the assailant who had killed or abducted David and stolen his card, or David himself. She wasn’t sure which alternative she preferred.
‘I’m not expecting you to give a definitive answer – but do you think it’s him?’ Martin asked.
Jo gave a scornful laugh and when she answered, she didn’t take her eyes from the screen that had been paused on the best image the policeman could manage. ‘I can’t honestly say I recognize the tip of his nose, but his hair’s cut like David’s, he moves like David, he uses his left hand like David, oh, and yes, he’s wearing a Nelson’s jacket, just like David.’
‘Can I take that as a yes?’
She remained staring at the frozen image on screen as she said a silent plea. Look up, David, she begged. Please, just look up and remember me, remember the woman you said you would love for ever. Damn well look at me, David! Tell me how to make this right!
‘Yes,’ she said, surprising herself at the rush of relief she felt.
‘I don’t know how to feel about it,’ Jo said as she gripped a couple of pins between her lips. Her brow was creased in concentration as she attached beading to the hem of Lauren’s costume, the furrows deepening as she tried to find an answer to Steph’s question. ‘Ever since he went missing, I’ve kept this mental list of all the things that might have happened and how I would react. I even rated them and the last thing I wanted was for David to have come to harm but …’
‘But then it turns out that the bastard has been living it up while you’ve been going through hell. And now you’re wishing him dead.’
‘Lauren! Language please,’ Steph said.
The wicked stepmother was standing on a footstool while her mum and aunt added the finishing touches to her dress. Other than the persistent tapping on her mobile, the two sisters could be forgiven for forgetting she had even been there.
‘She’s right, though,’ Jo admitted, adding almost casually, ‘if he walked through the door right now, I would kill him.’
‘And on the bright side, at least you can stop feeling guilty about hating him now you know he’s alive and well,’ Steph said.
‘I suppose,’ Jo said, not willing to admit to her sister that her first reaction was one of longing rather than loathing. Yes, she wanted to kill him but, to her shame, she also wanted him to take her in his arms and never let her go again. Recent events couldn’t cancel out the past, or at least not completely. David had been her hero; a hero with faults maybe but not a villain and he was still the man she loved. ‘The police think if he�
��s already low on funds then he might make an appearance soon. They’re not releasing any information about the cash withdrawal, though; they want to keep the public on his side.’
‘Not that the selfish pig deserves any sympathy.’
Steph glared up at her daughter. ‘Lauren, you are not being helpful. I know this is a first for me, but can you get back to messaging your friends and ignore everything else around you?’
There followed an awkward pause while Jo waited for the silent battle of wills between mother and daughter to run its course. It ended when Lauren returned her attention to her phone with a flurry of dramatic sighs and exaggerated movements. When it was safe to speak, Jo said to Steph, ‘He’s managed to go through £3,000 in less than two months and by my reckoning there’s probably no more than £1,000 left in his account now. If I’m lucky, he could be home by Christmas! Not that I’d let him in, you understand,’ she added.
‘At least there’s an end in sight.’
‘I hope so, Steph. I really hope so,’ Jo replied. ‘My own finances aren’t particularly rosy either. Have you seen the price of childcare these days?’
‘I could leave school and look after the baby,’ Lauren offered.
‘Couldn’t Irene help out?’ Steph said, not rising to the bait her daughter had dangled in front of her.
‘Even Sally didn’t think it was a good idea leaving Luke with her when she went back to work.’
‘Be fair, Jo – that was only because David’s dad had just died.’
‘I know,’ Jo conceded, ‘and she does look after Luke now and again, but if I’m being honest I don’t want her involved so much. Since Alan died, she dithers over everything and I’d probably end up looking after her as much as the baby and I’m just not strong enough to do that.’
‘That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? She brought up two sons perfectly well …’ Steph’s voice trailed off. ‘OK, maybe you have a point.’
But Steph was right, it was harsh and Jo and Irene had had a decent enough relationship once her mother-in-law had accepted that Jo was good enough for her son. And there was the real nub of the problem. As it turned out, Jo hadn’t been good enough. ‘It’s more than that,’ she admitted. ‘All Irene wanted was confirmation that David was still alive and she has that. She doesn’t have to deal with the sense of betrayal, the frustrations and the guilt, not to mention the financial mess.’
‘She’s on her own too, Jo,’ Steph reminded her. ‘David is still missing from her life and I should think she’d jump at the chance of looking after the baby if only you’d ask.’
‘And I can’t afford to be proud,’ Jo said, reading her sister’s mind. ‘OK, I get the message. Steve’s coming over at the weekend to paint the nursery and she’ll probably tag along too so I could maybe mention it then.’
‘No maybes, Jo,’ Steph told her firmly. ‘And while it’s good that Steve has magically transformed into a knight in shining armour, don’t go letting him get too comfortable in David’s shoes.’
When Jo laughed, she managed to prick herself with a pin. ‘He has a wife and child, remember?’
‘Ah, but he’s the type who needs reminding of that fact now and again.’
‘Seriously, Steph, don’t worry. I have no intention of falling for the Steve Taylor charm.’
‘I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him,’ Lauren piped up.
Jo looked up at her and sighed. ‘The sad truth is, Lauren, I don’t think I could trust anyone any more.’
Jo had spent years imagining how her baby’s nursery would look. She had planned a jungle theme for a boy with a large mural on one wall that, of course, she would paint herself. For a girl she would put her needlepoint skills to good use and create a magical forest full of toadstools and pixies. But when she and David had gone along to her twenty-week scan and had been asked if they wanted to know the baby’s sex, David had been rendered speechless.
‘Well?’ Jo asked him. She too couldn’t take her eyes from the screen where the sonographer had frozen a perfect profile of their baby. He or she appeared to be sucking its thumb.
Jo bit down on her trembling lip. She had felt sick to the stomach for so long, worrying that she had bullied David into having a baby, but then, when he had felt the baby kick a few days earlier, she had thought she had seen a spark of excitement. Now, as she dragged her eyes away from the screen and looked at the tears welling in his eyes, she knew she had done the right thing.
David had to clear his throat before he spoke. ‘I never imagined little FB would look so much like a baby,’ he managed.
‘Not just any baby, David. Our baby.’
He laughed and rubbed his hand hard across his face, never once taking his eyes from the image. ‘It really is, isn’t it?’
The sonographer, a young woman who had been waiting patiently for one of the prospective parents to answer her question, finally spoke. ‘Did you think your wife had just been overeating these last five months?’
‘And she’s doing OK? They’re both all right?’ David asked.
‘Yes, everything is as it should be.’
There was a sharp gasp as David had a flash of inspiration. ‘Do you think it would be all right for Jo to travel? We’d talked about going on holiday to America next month. Could she still go?’
The soaring relief that had been lifting Jo’s spirits dissolved into the ether. Her stomach lurched as she plummeted back to earth. ‘David, don’t.’
David knew immediately he had said the wrong thing. ‘Sorry, I just thought, you know, one last jaunt before we settle down?’
Jo refused to accept his apology and her husband never managed to resurrect that moment of joy and relief in her ever again. It wasn’t until after she had left the hospital, silent and sullen, that she realized they had forgotten to find out the sex of the baby.
The answer to that particular question would be solved soon enough, but as Jo stood in the slowly emerging nursery she felt that she couldn’t care less.
‘The colour will go lovely with the quilt set your mum made,’ Irene told her, indicating the sunshine-yellow paint that Steve was sweeping in arcs across the magnolia wall.
Jo was standing by the window. ‘I suppose so,’ she said, having long since diverted her attention to the world outside. The road was all but obscured by tall hedges and trees but that didn’t stop her from seeking out any signs of life. She was waiting for David to step out from behind a tree and look up at her. She could visualize him lifting a hand to his lips and blowing her a kiss. She stepped away.
Irene placed a comforting hand on her back. ‘Why don’t we leave Steve to it and go downstairs for a nice cup of tea.’
‘Yeah, don’t go worrying about me, I can manage,’ complained Steve but his words had fallen on deaf ears as Irene pulled Jo away.
Jo wished she could push David from her mind but it wasn’t going to be easy now Irene had her on her own. As Jo wondered how on earth she was going to navigate the conversation through the emotional minefield that had become her life, her mother-in-law decided to jump in with both feet.
‘I know how difficult this must be for you,’ she began once she had switched on the kettle.
‘And difficult for you too,’ offered Jo.
‘Yes, I won’t argue with that. It’s a horrible time for all of us, but you’re the one expecting a baby and trying to keep a roof over your head singlehandedly. Sally mentioned that you’re only planning on taking a few months’ maternity leave now.’
‘I can’t afford to be off any longer, Irene.’
‘And childcare isn’t cheap.’
‘Extortionate.’
The tentative smile on Jo’s face was enough encouragement for Irene to get to the point they were both politely sidestepping. ‘I could take care of the baby,’ she said.
‘Wouldn’t it be too much for you?’
‘By that do you mean am I capable of looking after a newborn?’ Irene asked, then answered her own question. ‘Sally
frets every time she leaves Luke with me and I will admit he can run rings around me, but he also gives me a new lease of life. Jo, I’ve spent my life looking after my family only to have them disappear before my eyes. You’d actually be doing me a favour by letting me help you.’
Jo wanted to say yes, but she had been avoiding Irene for a reason and that reason couldn’t be ignored for the sake of civility. They needed to clear the air after Jo’s outburst following the public appeal and the confession she had made. ‘But I don’t deserve your help, do I? I brought this on myself, you know that, Irene. I chose to become pregnant when I knew all along that David wasn’t ready for that kind of burden.’
‘You didn’t get pregnant by yourself, Jo,’ Irene answered firmly. ‘And while my son might be shirking his responsibilities, I’m not.’
Still Jo fought against the generosity she didn’t think she deserved. ‘We’re living in such uncertain times, Irene. Who knows what will happen in the coming months? I wouldn’t want to rely on you if …’
‘Come what may, the baby comes first. You know that, and I know that.’
Jo didn’t know that at all, but she needed someone around who did. ‘I do need you,’ she said, her voice cracking with emotion. ‘I can’t do this on my own.’
‘And you don’t have to. I promise you, Jo, I won’t let you down.’
Seeing the tears welling in her daughter-in-law’s eyes, Irene turned away abruptly and put her hands flat against the counter to support herself. She took a couple of deep breaths and spoke quickly as if she might lose her nerve if she hesitated. ‘I don’t understand why he’s doing this! He’s fit and well enough to go to a cash machine but he can’t manage to come home? In God’s name, why? Because you disagreed about when to start a family? That boy was born to be a father, we could both see that! So what if he was worried about not being good enough? So what if he was afraid?’ she said shaking her head. ‘It’s no defence and I won’t even try to justify his actions, Jo, however much I want to. I’d expect Steve to pull a stunt like this but not my David. He always took his responsibilities seriously.’
The Missing Husband Page 15