Despite being happy, Cathy was agitated. Abe said it was bound to be nerves about what was happening in New York. Nobody had heard anything since. Abe suggested that was a good thing, but Cathy wasn’t so sure. She grew snappy and tired. Every night when Abe was asleep, she tossed and turned, unable to relax. She really wanted some of her medicine but she had run out. She didn’t want to ask Abe to get her some as she sensed from things he had said, he wouldn’t. A couple of times he had upset her and she snapped at him. He had gone to work leaving her feeling guilty as she knew it was her and not him that was in the wrong. She tired to be nicer in the evenings when he got home but somehow she got worse rather than better.
She decided it was because everyone was looking after her and treating her like a child. She was an adult now, a married woman. She wanted to show everyone she could be independent, so decided to ride into town. Ben helped her with the horse.
“She’s Miss Mary’s horse, Mrs. O’Malley. She is nice and gentle.”
“Thank you, Ben, and please call me Cathy.”
“Sure thing, Miss Cathy.”
She smiled as he added the Miss to her name although for all intents and purposes she was his aunt. Her sister’s adoption of Ben was another sign of Mary’s care and consideration for others.
She sat straighter. She had to put aside her worries and concentrate on just riding into town. She was a married woman now and it was time everyone believed she wasn’t a fragile little girl.
She enjoyed the ride. The signs of nature opening up in anticipation of summer were all around her—baby birds chirping in their nests, their mamas flying around them protectively. The sun shone and although it wasn’t very warm, it wasn’t cold, either. She didn’t break out in a sweat while riding. As she came into town, she nodded to people who greeted her but she didn’t see anyone she knew to say hello to. Dismounting, she tied the horse to the rail outside the store.
“Cathy, what are you doing in town? Is Mary with you?”
Despite Katie’s smile, her comment annoyed her. Why would Mary be with her. She wasn’t her keeper.
“No, just me.”
“Oh. Do you have time for tea?”
“No, thank you, Katie. I came to buy some candy for Abe. He has a real sweet tooth. I need to learn how to make cookies and things but in the meantime, store bought candy will suffice.”
“Yes, he does. Most men do, in fairness. I know my Daniel finds it hard to resist. Here you go, then. Is there anything else?”
She should really think about some new clothes but she didn’t know how to make dresses. She decided to wait a while as she couldn’t buy them from the rack. She didn’t know how much money she had.
“Mary said she is coming to your quilting party on Thursday. Could I tag along? I’ve never quilted but I am quite good at embroidery.”
“Sure you can come, Cathy. You will get to meet the other ladies in town. Not all of us are good with needles. Just ask Sorcha.”
“I haven’t seen her yet. I remember her from the orphanage. The nuns were always telling her off for her sewing.”
“She hasn’t changed much. She will be here on Thursday.”
Katie had to serve another customer, so Cathy left. She was walking down the street toward the doctor’s office when she bumped into Mrs. Shaw and Mrs. Kelley. Mary had warned her to stay away from Ma Kelley, as she called her. Cathy didn’t know why. Paul Kelley, Laura’s husband, was very nice and this woman was his mother.
“Good morning, ladies.”
“Morning, Mrs. O’Malley. Fine morning isn’t it?”
“Yes, Mrs. Shaw.”
“Were you on the way to see Doc Erin?”
Taken aback by the woman’s nosiness, she just nodded.
“We understand you had problems. It is difficult to lose both parents in the unfortunate circumstances. Easy to see how one could find relief in a bottle.”
She stood motionless, almost afraid to breathe. How did these ladies know so much about her? Who had told them?
“Still, it must be a relief to be married now. Although Mr. O’Malley is probably not what your dear parents envisaged for you. Is that why you fell out with them? Were you always a bit wild?”
Before she could answer, Ma Kelley turned to Mrs. Shaw. “Of course we saw that with all those orphan girls who came here as mail order brides. They really lowered the whole tone of our lovely little town. When I think of what my Paul…”
“Paul and Laura seem very happy together, Mrs. Kelley. Now, excuse me. I must be on my way.”
She sped off before the ladies could stop her. Picking up her skirts allowed her to walk faster, but in reality she wanted to run. She pushed open the door of the doctor’s office, hoping Erin would be there but she wasn’t. Mrs. Grey was on duty.
“Good morning, Cathy. How are you today? You seem a bit overwrought?”
“Fine, thank you, or at least I would be if Mrs. Shaw and Mrs. Kelley didn’t seem to know all my business. Can you please tell Erin I need to speak to her?”
Mrs. Grey raised her eyebrows at Cathy’s tone but Cathy simply looked away.
“Cathy, sit down and I will make you some tea. You can then tell me what our neighborhood gossips had to say. You can’t pay them any attention. Those two ladies take pleasure in making others miserable.”
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. She didn’t know whether to scream or cry. As she sat there, her eyes were drawn to the room Erin kept her medications in. She looked around her. Mrs. Grey would be a while making the tea. She had hurt her ankle the previous week and was rather slow on her legs. She should really have offered to make the tea rather than let the older woman do it but she hadn’t been thinking straight.
Standing up she walked over to the door expecting it was locked but it wasn’t. She pushed it open. She knew where the key for the cabinet was. She had spent enough time in the clinic. Taking the key and keeping one ear out for Mrs. Grey, she opened the cabinet and took a brown bottle from it. She locked it again and was sitting back at the outside table when Mrs. Grey returned.
“Sorry for taking so long, dear. I reckon I should listen to Doc and rest my leg. It is cramping more than normal today.”
“I am sorry, Mrs. Grey. I should have made the tea. I was just so angry at what those ladies said.”
“Honestly, my dear, you shouldn’t worry about them. They are two of the loneliest people in town. Poor Paul Kelley doesn’t spend a minute more than he has to with his ma. The things that awful woman said about Laura don’t bear repeating. She rarely sees her grandchildren, either. Now, how are things going for your out at the ranch.”
“Fine, thank you.” She lied. How could she tell this woman who seemed to master everything she tried how much of a failure she was? She couldn’t boil water, never mind cook anything.
She drank her tea as quickly as she dared, the brown bottle feeling huge against her leg. Taking the tea cups up to the little kitchen, she washed them and then took her leave of Mrs. Grey.
She was eager to get home. She had to walk back to where her horse was tethered and to do that, she had to pass by Mrs. Shaw again. She was talking to a different lady this time, a younger woman. She walked past without a second look, not caring if she seemed rude. She didn’t want to speak to that woman again.
“Ma Kelley was telling me all about her earlier. She is a disgrace. Adopted, she was, and how did she repay her parents? By murdering them. How she has the nerve to walk down our streets. Of course, it’s only because she is protected by Davy Sullivan. His money has obviously greased a lot of hands.”
With tears in her eyes, she mounted her horse and almost knocked over the deputy sheriff in the process.
“Miss Cathy, you cannot listen to people. Empty vessels make most noise.”
She didn’t respond but looked back at Mrs. Shaw, who was now staring openly at her.
“Good day, Deputy,” she mumbled before nudging the horse into a fast trot. She needed to get home.
“Are you all right, Miss Cathy? You look upset?”
“I am fine, thank you, Ben. Would you mind seeing to the horse? I have a headache.”
“Of course, Miss Cathy. You look right pale. Do you want me to fetch Ma?”
“No!” she answered sharply causing a look of hurt in his eyes. “Sorry, Ben. I didn’t mean to snap. My head is fit to burst.”
“Don’t you worry none about me. You go lie down. You will feel better later.”
“Thank you, Ben. You are such a lovely young man. No wonder Mary is so proud of you.”
She walked back to her house, praying she wouldn’t see anyone. Abe wasn’t home. He’d ridden out early that morning with Cookie and wasn’t expected back until later.
She took as much of the medicine as she dared. She hoped it would be enough to send her to sleep. She never wanted to wake up again.
Chapter 25
He worked alongside Cookie all day, but his mind was restless. He should speak to Mary about Cathy. Or maybe Doc Erin. There was something wrong with his wife and he wasn’t sure what it was. She wasn’t happy, of that he was certain, but it seemed to be more than just missing her parents. She was snappy and agitated. He sometimes found her staring into space despite the fact whatever she had tried to cook was overflowing or burning. It was like she wasn’t living in reality. Was she mad? She had told him that is what the Archibald guy from New York had told her.
Yet when she was in a more normal frame of mind, she was funny and really interesting to speak to.
“You wool-gathering again, Abe?”
“Sorry, Cookie.”
Cookie put down his tools and took out his water bottle. “What’s the matter, son? Your head is not on right today. Hasn’t been for a few days.”
“I…oh, it’s nothing.”
“Come on, spit it out. Ain’t nothing. You can’t hit a nail straight. What’s going on.”
“It’s Cathy. She seems different.”
“Different how? You two are only getting to know each other. That’s going to take time, son.”
“Yes, I know but…”
“It ain’t going to be like it was with Sally. You two grew up together in the same place. You knew everything there was to know.”
“This isn’t about where we grew up, Cookie. It’s something else. Something she said.”
“Come on, lad. Talk to me. I ain’t going to tell nobody. Your missus won’t know you talked to me.”
“I think she might be mad.”
Cookies mouth dropped open.
“I don’t mean it mean, like, but she said her cousin said she was. And she sure acts funny at times. Like she scratches her skin a lot to the point it bleeds. And she has shaking fits. And then she…”
“Your missus ever been given drugs?”
“They gave her something when her pa and ma died. Why?”
“Sounds to me like she was given laudanum when her folks died and now she is missing it. Happened to lots of men after the war. Some never gave up their cravings. Others did, but it took time.
“Cravings?”
“Yeah, bit like your pa. He probably didn’t always drink like he did near the end.
“Not till he lost his arm. But then he was always hot-tempered, so it wasn’t just the drink.”
“Yeah but he got a taste for it and kept drinking. Same with that laudanum stuff. I should know. I was a drinker. Lost me my family.”
He stared at Cookie, not knowing what to say. He’d never seen him with a drink in his hand but hadn’t questioned it.
“Why don’t you go home and see your missus. Try talking to her a little. She’s been through a lot in her short life.”
“I guess.” He didn’t want to have to deal with addiction again. It had been bad enough with his pa. But Cathy was his wife now, his responsibility.
“Abe, if anyone can help that young lady, you can. You got a big heart. She is a nice girl, too. She just needs a chance.”
He nodded in response to Cookies advice, although what he wanted to do was scream. He had enough issues of his own without taking on someone else’s. Why had he called in to see Mick and Cookie? He should have kept on riding. Now he had someone else depending on him. What if she left him, too?
He walked slowly back to the house he shared with his wife, Diamond walking along beside him, nudging his shoulder as if she wanted to try to comfort him. Lord, he was going mad. What was he doing getting ideas about a horse?
He put Diamond in the barn meeting Ben on the way.
“Your missus seemed to have a rough time in town today.”
“Cathy was in town? Why? With who?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask but she seemed upset.”
“Can you take care of Diamond for me ,Ben? I will go check on her.”
“Sure. I wanted to call Ma but Cathy nearly bit my head off. Figured it was better to leave her alone.”
Abe didn’t respond. Cathy had bit his head off more than once, so he could understand the boy’s reluctance.
He pushed the door of the house open, calling her name but there was no response. Nothing was cooking and the house was quiet. He pushed open the bedroom door. There was a funny smell in the room, not one he recognized. It was bitter, though. He hoped it wasn’t a perfume she liked. He moved closer to the bed. She was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful. He was stupid to be thinking anything else, she was just tired. Then he spotted the bottle.
Chapter 26
“Cathy. Oh, dear God, no. Not again. Cathy?” He pulled her into his arms, shaking her but her head just lolled to the side. He lay her back down and, putting his head to her chest, he could make out a faint heart beat. She was alive. But she had to wake up. Picking her up, he took her outside to the horse trough. It was all he could think of. He dunked her in it fully clothed while yelling for Ben to go for his ma.
Cathy didn’t react to the water at first so he dunked her again. Then she woke up spluttering and coughing. He gave her a drink, forcing her to drink more of it than she wanted, as he hoped she vomited again and again. That had to be a good thing, to get the poison from her system. All the time he was yelling her name. “Cathy, don’t you dare leave me. Do you hear me?”
Screaming loudly, Mary came running closely followed by a number of other people. He ignored them and kept dunking Cathy’s head and making her vomit.
“What on earth. Stop it, stop hurting her,” Mary screamed.
“I ain’t hurting her. She hurt herself. We need Doc Erin. Send someone quick.”
“You take her. It will be faster,” Mary responded.
“I got your horse ready,” Ben said.
“No. Stop.” At Cookie’s shout, everyone stopped. Cookie walked over to him and spoke quietly.
“Get her back into your house now, lad. Strip her out of those wet clothes and get her to bed.”
“Mary heat up some water –enough for a number of baths.” Cookie didn’t check if anyone was listening but kept giving orders. “Ben, mount up and go for Doc Erin. Tell her it’s an emergency. The rest of you go home and if you are the praying type start praying. Even if you aren’t, start praying.”
Abe lifted his unconscious wife in his arms and took her back to the house. He was about to put her on the bed when Cookie stopped him.
“No good putting her on the bed, you will only wet the sheets. You got to strip her and get her into the bed before she catches a chill.”
“Cookie, she took that stuff. I don’t know how much. But how could she?”
“She wasn’t thinking straight, lad. I guess she just wanted to sleep. That’s all. Don’t let your mind think anything else.”
He couldn’t move, but stood there with her lying against his chest. Her pulse seemed weaker.
“Come on, lad. Get her undressed. I will make coffee and heat u
p this place. Move, Abe. Now.”
Abe started to undress her. Cathy would be mortified, but who else could do it? She was his wife, if in name only. She was even thinner than he had first imagined. She looked so small in the bed, so fragile. He stripped off his wet clothes and changed into something dry. He then put her into a nightdress, feeling she would prefer to have her modesty.
He held her close, trying to warm her up with his body. Had he done the right thing in making her come around and vomit? Doc Deane used to say it was a good think for a drunk to vomit as it took some of the poisons away, but did that work for this stuff, too. How had she got it? Who would be stupid enough to give a woman of her age a full bottle?
Cookie knocked at the door. “Try to wake her up, lad. We will give her some coffee. Easy, though. You don’t want to burn her.”
“Did I do the right thing?”
“In waking her? Yes, absolutely. She has to fight this now. But maybe with you at her side, she’ll see she has friends.”
“Cookie, you’ve seen this before, haven’t you?”
“Yes, son. Too many times to count. The effects of the war lasted longer than the fighting.”
“Did everyone recover?”
Cookie didn’t answer. His silence spoke volumes.
Chapter 27
She was so cold. Shivering so much her teeth rattled. Her head ached and she was desperate for more of the medicine. It would help her—it always did. She opened her eyes, shutting them tight again as the light hurt them. What was he doing here? He should be at work. She squinted at him.
“Cathy, wake up. Please open your eyes.”
She opened them, although not fully as it hurt too much. He was worried about her. She could tell from the tone of his voice, but why? She was happy. Or at least she would be when she got the medicine. It would take her headache away and she could sleep. Hours of dreamless sleep with no nightmares.
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