by Dave Bowman
Liz nodded in agreement. She left Jessa to finish up the drying racks, then returned to the gardens to finish staking down the plastic sheets. She still hadn't gotten used to wearing the gun on her person. Would she be able to use it proficiently if need be? She decided to get some more shooting practice as soon as possible.
She thought of how she had lived alone in Albuquerque. She had been afraid in her apartment sometimes, but living surrounded by neighbors, having 911 at the other end of her cell phone, and knowing that police officers were never too far away had given her some comfort. Maybe it had been a false sense of comfort, but she sure felt safer before the world fell apart.
The noise in the woods she had heard earlier was probably just an animal, but she couldn't shake the fear that it was something -- someone -- else.
20
Shortly after sunset, Nick and Charlie returned. They carried nothing but the gear they had left with.
As they trudged up the hill to the lodge where they saw the light of the oil lamp in the window, they were both quiet. Defeated. They had sought out all the good spots Nick knew, all the places he had usually seen deer feeding on previous hunts. They had waited and waited, but they saw nothing.
They tried out Charlie's ideas. Charlie didn't know the precise area they were in, but he was familiar with the terrain of the region and the habits of the deer that lived in it. They tried everything they could, and still they returned empty-handed.
As they neared the lodge, the men passed by the smokehouse Jessa had built. It was impressive, and it made them all the more disappointed to not have any meat to dry on it.
Nick was relieved to come home to find the ladies safe. He had been worried about leaving them alone on the property. But they had to hunt. They needed food.
The women were happy to see them, and they tried to hide their disappointment over another night of canned soup.
"Do you think the virus affected the wild animal population?" Liz asked.
"I don't know," Nick said as he ladled some chicken noodle soup into his bowl. "It wouldn't make sense, because the domestic animals didn't seem to be affected."
"Yeah, the dogs in Santa Fe were running through the streets in packs. Starting to go wild. If the virus affects animals, it's not as hard on them as it is on humans," Jessa said.
Charlie was less worried. "We just had an unlucky day. It happens to the best of them. Especially on open land like this. It's not high fence hunting."
"I don't know," Nick said. "It worries me we didn't see anything. Usually this land has good hunting. Especially this time of year."
"I bet if we got out there tomorrow, we'd bag a 12-point buck," Charlie said optimistically, slapping Nick on the back.
"Yeah, and we'll have a smokehouse to dry the leftovers," Jessa said, smiling.
"How 'bout that smokehouse?" Charlie grinned. "That's some nice work, Jessa."
"Really nice," Nick added, smiling. "Can't wait to try it out. And the prep work for the garden beds looks great, Liz."
"Thanks," she said. "I don't really know what I'm doing, but hopefully it'll kill off those weeds and we can break the soil up with a shovel. Or a spade." She smiled at Jessa.
"Soon you'll all get to try my chile-rubbed venison," Charlie said. "With potatoes on the side."
Nick smiled, but his heart was heavy. If only they had seen something out there.
After dinner, Nick excused himself and sat alone on the porch. The stars had always been bright at the lodge, but now that there was no light pollution from the distant towns and cities, the night sky was spectacular.
He was a little surprised when Mia went outside to join him, since the girl had been so shy since she arrived. She chose to sit in the small chair, which he had gotten two years ago for his son. He was glad the chair was being used, even though it pained him terribly to think of Owen. He missed his family and felt lost without them. The grief was still fresh and raw, despite the circumstances he found himself in that required him to constantly come up with new solutions.
"Did you ever see a sky like that before?" he asked her, pointing up at the expanse of stars above them.
She shook her head. "No, I couldn't see stars like that from my house. I only saw this in books."
"There's nothing like the real thing, is there?" he asked.
She shook her head again in agreement, and he could see her smile in the dim light. "I like it."
"It's starting to cool down at night," he told her after they were quiet for a while. "You got enough warm clothes?"
"Yeah, Liz got me some."
"A winter coat? Sweaters, warm socks and boots, and a coat for the snow?"
"Yep."
"Hat and scarf?"
"Uh huh."
They were quiet again for a few moments, looking up at the stars.
"We don't have enough food," Mia said quietly.
He didn't reply. He had known it, felt it, already. He had almost been waiting for the child to say it.
"I've been tracking how much we eat everyday. It's not enough to last through the winter. It definitely won't hold out until the spring garden comes in. Even if we cut our calories to the minimum level."
He nodded, still looking up at the stars.
"We'll have to get more. A lot more," Mia said calmly.
His mind flashed to the can of soup he had looked at the other day. It had 200 measly calories and wasn't very filling. The big stacks of cans and other packages in the pantry looked like a lot of food, but they were deceptive when each one provided such little nutrition. It was a nagging worry he had tried to postpone thinking about. There were so many other concerns to sort out first, so many things to take care of. But the child was right – something had to be done about it.
"Thanks for letting me know."
“There's something else.”
He looked at her and saw an expression of worry move across her face.
“Did you have any pets?” she asked.
He shook his head. “My wife was allergic to everything. Why?”
Her forehead crinkled and she drew in breath.
“My dog caught the virus back home. He died.”
Their eyes met in the near darkness for a moment, then she looked away. Nick looked back at the sky and into the endless stars.
“Maybe that doesn't mean anything, but maybe it's important...” she trailed off.
“So animals aren't immune to it,” Nick said, nodding slowly. “It may have affected the game out here.”
She nodded, glancing toward the forest across the meadow, which was lit faintly by the stars.
They fell into a comfortable silence again, each knowing what the stakes were and what needed to be done. They understood each other.
Mia leaned back in her chair, seemingly relieved. She knew Nick would get them more food.
After a while, Mia went back inside. Nick stayed on the porch.
He thought about how different everything had seemed before – back when there were convenience stores and online shopping and ATM machines. People like him had lived in the land of plenty, and there were always so many distractions. Even though he had anticipated the system collapsing, he still hadn't been prepared.
He hadn't gotten enough food. That was obvious. He had wanted to make the trip to the lodge for the previous few months before the virus. He'd wanted to stock up the food shelves and load up on other supplies. But there had always been something that came up, something that got in the way. There had always been some reason to postpone it. Work deadlines, birthday parties, unexpected home repairs, vacations to the beach that Kaitlyn begged him to agree to – and that he had enjoyed despite himself.
Besides, he had always reasoned, after another few months of working and hoarding money, he and his family would have been able to move out to the lodge permanently. They had planned to start the gardens, hunt, and can and preserve food to feed them for years.
But they hadn't had the right mindset. They had never expec
ted the end to come so soon. It was always going to be some event in the future. Never now.
He had failed at preparing, and worst of all, he had failed at saving his family. Now, he had brought four people to his lodge. Perhaps it had been a mistake. He knew he had made too many mistakes; he had been over-confident. But he had to try to make it – and to keep these new people alive as well. He had to keep fighting.
He would have liked to give in to Liz and let more people join the group. He wanted to help people. Nick hated the idea of turning sick or hungry folks away.
Also, a larger community would mean more people to help defend the lodge and their supplies. He knew that only four adults were far from enough to defend their home, but it would have to do for now.
There simply wasn't enough food for more people. And unless he did something fast, there wouldn't be enough food for the five of them.
21
Charlie was inside washing dishes, laughing with the ladies, and it almost felt like old times to him. Growing up with three sisters and no brothers, he'd always been used to the ups and downs of living with females. The world may have ended, but at least there was still high-pitched laughter around him, and it felt a little like home.
Still, though, he missed his family, and he thought of them all the time. He had always lived with his family, even at 25 years old, because there had never been any reason to leave. His family had been his whole world.
His dad had gotten sick first. He'd come home from a long-distance truck run and picked the virus up before anyone else in town. That was in the early days of the illness, before anyone had known it would kill almost everyone who caught it. His dad was a demanding patient, and Charlie and the girls were busy taking care of him.
Mary Anne fell sick next, then their mom. Around the time Lulu turned gray, the people on the news were saying no one was recovering. Lulu was his oldest sister and best friend. At that point, the world just started crashing down.
Dad and Mary Anne died the day that his baby sister Vicki came down with it. Charlie had been beside himself. When he had time to think, he told himself it was a nightmare he'd wake up from. It felt so unreal that it seemed possible he was living in a horrible dream.
Those few days were a blur. He had tried to keep them all comfortable. He ran back and forth from room to room, bringing soup and juice and changing sheets. Then the grave digging started. One after another, he'd buried all five of his family members.
Then he had waited to die.
But the gray skin and fever had never claimed him. Even tonight, as he felt the cool water running over his hands as he washed dishes beside Liz, he could hardly believe it.
He had survived.
He wasn't always sure he had wanted to survive, but at this moment, in his new home, it was kind of nice.
He liked the people he found himself living with, and he counted himself lucky to have been adopted into the little group. It didn't hurt that Liz and Jessa were easy on the eyes, he noted as he stole a glance at the two young women.
Growing up in Jemez Springs, the pool of girls had been pretty small. He saw lots of tourists passing through who stopped at the restaurant he worked at, but he rarely got to know any of them. Now he was living and working with two pretty girls, even if they did intimidate him a little. His strategy had always been to try to make the girls he knew at school and at work laugh. Sometimes it had worked, and sometimes it hadn't.
In any case, dating wasn't really a priority for anyone these days. Everybody was interested in surviving. But surviving alongside Liz and Jessa made it a little more interesting.
Nick came back inside as they were finishing up the dishes.
"I'm making a trip tomorrow," he said to the four of them. "We're running low on food, and we need to stock up. It can't wait, because then we run the risk of all the food disappearing from the stores. I'm going to head out at sunrise."
"I'm going with you," Jessa said without hesitation.
"You stay here, Jessa," Charlie said. "I'll go with him."
"It's too dangerous," Nick said, shaking his head. "I'll go alone. I need you all here to guard the place anyway."
"There's no way you're going to go off by yourself," Jessa said. "Besides, we can get more supplies with two sets of hands to carry them."
"Come on, Nick, you'll need a lookout at least while you raid the stores. There's way too many crazy people out there," Charlie said. "And by now, I bet most of them have found guns."
Nick was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I guess it'd be good to have someone else go along. But Jessa, you stay here. Charlie will go with me."
"I can handle it. I've already had to defend myself. The other day I shot a man," Jessa said bluntly, then drew in a breath sharply. "I had to kill him – I had no choice. It was in Santa Fe. Self defense. I'm not afraid to do it again if I need to. I've got your back, Nick."
Charlie and Nick stared at her. They had underestimated Jessa, and they wouldn't do it again.
"I'm going tomorrow," she said.
A small smile crept over Nick's face. "All right, Jessa, it doesn't look like I have much say in the matter."
She smiled. "Sorry Charlie," she said to him.
"No problem, Jessa. Just don't pull that gun on me like you did back in Jemez Springs," he said, laughing.
"You pulled a gun on him?" Liz asked, her mouth ajar.
"I had to," Jessa said. "I thought he was a zombie coming back to life when he started moving in his car."
"Yeah, I learned my lesson pretty quick. Don't mess with Jessa," Charlie said. "It's all right. I'll stay here and hold down the fort. But you two be careful out there."
"We will. And I'm going to need you, Liz, and Mia to stay alert and keep your weapons on you at all times while we're gone. Stay outside where you can see anyone, but keep close to home."
They understood.
"It should be pretty calm around here," Charlie said. "No sign of other humans in a couple of days."
"Yeah, we didn't hear any gunfire today," Liz said. "Maybe the people we heard shooting the other day have moved on."
"Let's hope so," Nick said. "We need to work on home security, though. While we're gone tomorrow I'd like you two to start working on some booby traps. I've got some wire that I want you to tie between trees at some strategic places. I've got some alarms in the tool shed I got just for this purpose and I'll attach them when I get back.”
He sat down with them and drew a map of the property, indicating where they should tie the wire.
"Jessa, we'll head out of here at sunrise. Make sure that pistol of yours is loaded and ready to go. And bring extra ammo."
"All right," she said. "I'm turning in now. Goodnight, everybody."
They all went to bed early. Charlie had some trouble falling asleep, and he tossed and turned through the night. He didn't know what Nick and Jessa would find out there, but he hoped they'd come back safe and well stocked for the group's survival.
He still felt that he should be the one going off with Nick tomorrow, but Jessa had seemed hell bent on doing it, so he had given in to her. He didn't understand why she was so determined to go off and scavenge for food, but he figured maybe she was getting cabin fever. And after all, he had gotten to leave and hunt that day, so he could hang tight at home for a day.
The next morning, they walked out to Nick's truck. They were taking some gas with them in case they needed it, but they hoped to siphon along the way. The truck was empty and ready to be loaded down with precious supplies.
They drove out through the narrow track, then pulled out onto the gravel road that would take them to a small town. Charlie had ridden with them to the end of the track, but there he got out and moved the limbs out of the way. Once they left, he would once again pull the branches back in place to disguise the entrance to the property.
"Good luck out there," he said. "And try to bring back some dried chiles if you can."
"It's at the top of the list, Charlie," Jessa s
aid, waving and laughing from the passenger seat, and they drove off just as the first rays of morning light were illuminating the forest.
22
September 9
"There's a tiny little town about forty minutes from here,” Nick said as they rolled down the bumpy gravel road, leaving behind a trail of dust. “Los Gatos. Not much more than a general store and a bar. We can check people's houses for food, too, as long as they're empty. I'm hoping there's something left on the shelves of that town."
"We didn't pass it coming up from Jemez Springs?" Jessa asked.
"Nah, it's off this road a ways, about five miles north on another gravel road. It's really in the middle of nowhere."
"So what's our strategy?"
"Be as quiet and fast as we can. The whole world has gone silent, so everyone can hear a truck from a long distance, but there's no need to call extra attention to ourselves. We'll head straight for that general store, scope it out, then go in. I've got two big duffel bags that I'll fill up, take to the truck, and dump out. I'll repeat that until we've gotten everything I can. Your job is to keep your gun out and ready, and alert me if you see anything."
"Got it," Jessa said. Then, after a pause, "Do you feel a little guilty taking stuff like this?"
"Yeah, a little. My mother never taught me to be a thief, and I never was before this whole thing. But things are different now. We can't just roll over and die."
"True. And dead people can't really own anything, anyway. It's not like we're going to be stealing from other survivors' homes."
Nick nodded, then he was quiet the rest of the way. They turned down the second gravel road that would lead to Los Gatos, and they both braced themselves for whatever they would find. They hoped it would be nothing more than a dusty, deserted town with a store full of non-perishable food. But the both tensed as they approached the town.
They passed a sign that said "Los Gatos – 5 miles" but someone had painted over the words: "Turn back."