Forgiven
A Twin Rivalry Academy Series
Book 3
Taylor Blaine
Forgiven
The feud between the O’Donnell twins has torn apart a town, a family… my heart.
I have loved both brothers, but I’m attached to only one with a bond too intense to deny. My secret comes out, deepening the void between them. When their feud threatens to destroy me, they have to accept my decision or watch me die to free them.
Is forgiveness too hard? Or is longing and grief enough to fuel a future – alone?
They’ll have to figure it out and before they lose me to hate.
Can I forgive myself for the things I’ve done or will my own happiness fade with guilt?
Chapter 1
Olivia
My eyes grew wide as I realized I was there with the O’Donnell brothers and neither of them wanted to be around the other.
And now, because of what Braddox had just shared, Jaxon didn’t want to be around me.
Jaxon backed away from my side as Braddox left the kitchen, smirking. Jaxon stared at me as if I’d grown another head or… worse, like he didn’t know me. How could he think that? How could he believe Braddox? Except, Braddox hadn’t lied. He’d just told Jaxon what I should have been able to say right off the bat.
But I was tired. I was tired and broken, and more than a little depressed about what had happened in the last twenty-four hours.
Another step moved Jaxon further from me. My chest rose and fell as I tried to catch my breath. The further Jaxon pulled from me, the more out of breath I became. I ignored Braddox as he left. I didn’t care. What I cared about, who I cared about, was leaving me both emotionally and physically – I could feel the abandonment like warmth was leaving the room.
Jaxon turned his dark gaze from me, no longer looking my way. I couldn’t help feeling even more alone. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t help what had happened.
“Jaxon, wait.” I slid from the stool, moving toward him as I stretched my hand out as if to take his fingers in mine. He didn’t turn to face me.
He hung his head, shaking it as he continued facing away from me. His hoodie was rain splattered on the shoulders and the hood. I wanted to reach out and rest my hand on his back, but I didn’t have the courage to force him to acknowledge me like I wanted. When he spoke, his voice sounded broken. “I need to be alone right now, Olivia.”
I caught my breath. “Please, Jaxon, talk to me. I need to talk about this.” I touched his arm and he flinched from me, shaking his head hard.
“No. Not right now. There’s… I need some space.” He pulled from me, walking from the room, leaving a massive void behind him.
I blinked, unsure just what was happening. Was that really my life? Was I really being punished for something I hadn’t really done? Yes, I’d had sex with Braddox, but I’d thought he was Jaxon.
Jaxon wasn’t the only one who’d been hurt. I’d been betrayed in the worst possible way. I couldn’t get my virginity back. I couldn’t get my first time with Jaxon back without the memory of Braddox in my head. I would always wonder if I was really sleeping with Jaxon or with Braddox. That suspicion would always be there.
Not to mention, the betrayal Jaxon felt, now.
I lost Jaxon. Because of the actions Braddox had taken, I’d lost Jaxon – the first guy who’d ever understood me and made me feel like I had any worth.
I stumbled back, striking the counter with my spine. Crying out, I turned, bracing my hand on the counter as I closed my eyes against the physical and emotional pain. No more. I needed to numb the agony, but how?
If Stephanie was up, I could talk to her, I could get the entire situation off my shoulders and get her advice. Maybe. It was worth trying. There shouldn’t be any danger of seeing Mom and Trenton after a little bit. They’d be on their way to their lawyers.
Rather than focus on Jaxon and the painful way Braddox had screwed us over, I decided instead to focus on the way my father had hurt my mom and me. Honestly, no matter what I did, pain was there to greet me. Stephanie would understand. She’d tell me something that would make me laugh, or cry, or get mad. Instead of letting me focus on the numbing shock vibrating through me, Stephanie would force me to feel something.
Climbing the stairs to my room, I moved mechanically. Even though the clouds had moved in outside the windows and there was an overcast lack of light that morning, I couldn’t help feeling like things should be different. I wasn’t supposed to be in the position I was in.
Other people had destroyed my life. My dad had married someone else and then married my mom without a divorce in between the two. I wasn’t legally my father’s daughter. He’d had another family in Colorado while he’d harbored us in Oregon. Then Staci – my half-sister – was in Shores and she’d taken over my school, my ex-boyfriend, and my old house. All of which I lost because of my father’s decision to sell my mother’s family business.
Then I’d lost Jaxon because of the shitty things Braddox had done. I was stuck in this reactionary vortex. I had to get out of it. I had to decide not to be affected by other people’s actions. I had to make decisions for myself.
That would be drove me. Somehow, I had to get a plan into place so Stephanie and I could focus on finding revenge. Because wasn’t that what I needed? At least one of the things I had to do was get back at Braddox. I could forgive him, but hadn’t I forgiven him enough? How many more times was I going to let him hurt me?
The answer was no more. He wasn’t going to hurt me again. He wasn’t going to hurt Jaxon again.
I had to stick up for the two of us since no one else was going to.
Walking past my room, I stopped at the room Stephanie was sleeping in. There’s no way she’d had enough sleep, yet, but I needed to talk to her. Slowly opening the door, I figured I could slowly wake her by shaking her shoulder or something that wasn’t as abrasive as pounding on the door.
But I stopped as light from the hall spilled into the barely lit room. Dark curtains blocked the daylight, feeble as it was. Yet, even with the limited lighting, I could still plainly see Braddox screwing Stephanie on the bed she was supposed to be sleeping on.
Braddox didn’t even have the decency to have his shirt off. His pants were down around his ankles and he’d pulled her to the edge of the bed. His tight ass flexed as he moved back and forth.
Neither of them seemed to notice I was there. At least until Braddox glanced up and saw my reflection in the mirror above the vanity on the other side of the room. He didn’t stop or even pause as he continued pounding into my best-friend.
For a split second, I could imagine Jaxon doing that, screwing someone else and my heart broke. My expression must have showed I was affected somehow because he winked at me as he drove himself harder into her, holding my gaze with his.
Maybe he was raping her. She’d been pretty wasted when I’d put her to bed a few hours before. She wouldn’t be sober enough to even know what was happening. Would she? Was Braddox raping my sleeping and drunk friend? More anger ripped through me and I stepped further into the room, but I stopped when Stephanie moaned.
“Braddox, harder.”
I closed my eyes, breaking the connection with Braddox. She knew. Stephanie knew and she was asking for more. Was it too far out there to think she’d been sleeping with Braddox when I disappeared into the east side of Shores? When I’d lost everything, had I really lost everything – including my friend?
For all intents and purposes, she wasn’t my friend anymore. I wasn’t sure just what she was, but
I was alone. Jaxon didn’t want anything to do with me and now, I didn’t want anything to do with Stephanie.
What… In shock, I turned from the room. I didn’t even want to be in that house anymore.
I had nowhere to go. I ducked into my room and locked the door. In the bathroom, I locked the door again and turned to the bathtub. I could be there. I could soak in the water. I could forget for a little bit that my life had morphed into one of the levels of hell that I’d read about.
I ignored the sounds coming from Stephanie’s room. I ignored everything.
Tearing off my clothes, I turned on the hottest water the faucet would give me. Climbing in, I leaned against the back of the tub, waiting as the water rose higher and higher, leaving my skin red in its wake. I’d rather focus on the discomfort of burning my flesh than the painful sting of betrayal I couldn’t escape.
Why couldn’t anyone be on my side?
Braddox
Stephanie’s text had come at the perfect time. I was pissed and yet also oddly vindicated as I stormed from the kitchen. Her message had buzzed in my pocket as I was trying to figure out a way to burn off the adrenaline flowing through me.
S: I’m horny and drunk and just across the hall from your room. Interested?
Another opportunity to isolate Olivia wasn’t something I would pass up. I’d been working on Stephanie for over a year. Screwing her on the side and convincing her she wasn’t worth anything except for sex. That was the only way I could keep things with her as undemanding as I wanted.
She didn’t have enough affection at home which made it easy to convince her this was how things were supposed to be. There was the girl who was girlfriend material – Olivia in this case – and then there was the girl who was there for physical things – in this instance, Stephanie. Another thing I liked about Stephanie, she let me do whatever I wanted to her. Far cry from the prudish and infuriating actions of Olivia.
Screwing Olivia hadn’t gotten Olivia out of my head in the least. If anything, I just wanted more. Judging by the hatred in her expression in the kitchen, I wasn’t going to be able to get a voluntary blow job from her any time soon.
There in that room, screwing Stephanie at least gave me some release. Having Olivia walk in on us and holding my gaze for those brief moments had been almost more of a high as I screwed Stephanie. I came harder than usual with Stephanie, and I could attribute it to Olivia being there.
Somehow, I had to convince Olivia she was glad it had been me and not Jaxon in that room with her the night before. Somehow, I had to convince her she wasn’t mad at me. We both needed more of the connection we’d had. She just didn’t know it. Yet.
Olivia didn’t bother closing the door as she left. I finished, ignoring if Stephanie even had fun. I threw her legs off me, and slapped her ass when she groaned. “Get up. You can’t stay here now.” I ducked into the bathroom off the suite and cleaned myself up, taking the condom off and throwing it in the garbage. I didn’t need the stress around explaining a stopped-up toilet when the staff plunged out a used rubber. The garbage was taken out and no one went through it. Easy.
Washing my hands, I pulled up my pants and straightened my clothes. I hadn’t slept much the night before, but the time I had had been quality. Olivia’s body had finally dispelled the nightmares I’d been having. She didn’t have to screw me willingly to get rid of the things I was holding onto. Just that one time had helped me sleep. She was foolish, if she thought I wasn’t going to be doing that with her again.
If I had to, I’d tie her to the bed and take what I wanted. I needed Olivia that much.
And that fact only scared me more than I wanted to admit.
Refusing to acknowledge my fear of anything, I let my anger at Jaxon and everything else control me. I stormed from the bathroom, swinging the bedroom door shut. Standing at the side of the bed, I folded my arms and stared down at the indisposed girl on the guest room in our house. “Hey, get up. Didn’t you hear me?”
Stephanie lifted her head, pushing her hair out of her face as she curled her naked body to the side. Blearily she blinked at me. Her bloodshot eyes narrowed as she tried to focus. “What? Olivia said I could stay here. Why are you saying that?”
I huffed, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t care if you stay. It’d be more convenient for me.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder and half-smiled. “Truth is, Olivia walked in and caught us. I don’t think she’s happy with either of us at the moment. She probably won’t want you to stay.” I looked her up and down and sneered. “Would you?”
One thing I’d gotten good at was convincing Stephanie she wasn’t worth much of anything. The months of grooming her had finally paid off when she’d found out she was pregnant and I’d spun it off on Ryan, saying the things she and I had done couldn’t have gotten her pregnant. The things I’d done to her could have gotten a village pregnant, but she didn’t need to know that.
I’d convinced her to screw Ryan because he was an idiot who wanted commitment simply for an easy ass to tap. That was it.
Which wasn’t that why I wanted Stephanie around?
That and I wanted any information about Olivia I might need. Stephanie was loyal. I’d trained her to be what I needed.
Her eyes widened and she sat upright, staring toward the door like Olivia was still there.
She wasn’t. I’d already checked.
Stephanie covered her mouth with her hand and blinked back tears. “No. Wait, Roman, you promised she wouldn’t find out.” She shook her head, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around her drawn up knees. “You swore, damn it.” She lifted shocked eyes my way. “I need to…” She moved to get off the bed.
I reached out, pushing her back and growling. “You’re not going to talk to her until I say it’s okay. I want to make sure she hears the truth from me.”
“I want to talk to her, Braddox. She’s my friend. You’re… nothing really to her. Especially after what you did to her.” Stephanie shook her head and rolled to the other side of the bed, ignoring the fact that I’d just told her to stay there.
I furrowed my brow and moved around the end of the bed as she pulled on her clothes. “I’m serious, Stephanie. You’re not to talk to her.” I cocked my head and rested my hands on my hips as I studied her. “What do you know about last night?”
Stephanie stood, pulling her pants up the rest of the way. Her round, heavy breasts swayed as she moved, but I didn’t look twice. I’d fondled them as much as I wanted and that made them common to me. I didn’t care about her body unless I needed something. I’d just taken it so I didn’t care. Easy.
She pulled on her bra and then her shirt, ignoring my question. I gave her time to figure out if she wanted to be loyal to me or be loyal to Olivia. Once she figured it out, then I’d instruct her on if she was right or not.
After she pulled her clothes on, she turned to me and folded her arms. Obstinance added an angle to her eyebrows I considered disrespectful. “Look, I get what I am to you. That’s fine. I don’t care. I’m not even opposed to it, to be honest. What I am to Olivia, though, is special to me. You helping me protect that friendship was part of our deal.”
“You think you get an opinion, here? You don’t. You belong to me. That’s all you’re good for. Don’t start getting bigger than you actually are.” I stepped toward her, pulling my hand back in a threatening motion.
She normally cowered, agreeing with whatever I said, but this time… She didn’t. She lifted her chin and dared me with her eyes. “Go ahead. You going to hit me? Been there. And I’m going to be honest, Braddox. You hit like a girl after the beating I took from Ryan. He kicked me so much and so hard, I lost my baby. So, you can do whatever you need to do, but I really wanted one last screw with you before I tell you to go to hell.” She looked condescendingly at the bed and then back at me. “I was hoping for one of the orgasms you normally give me, but that was lackluster at best.”
I jerked back as if she’d struck me which wasn’t possi
ble. “What in the hell has gotten into you?” It was like all of my work was flushed down the toilet. Rather than getting mad and beating her back into submission, I decided instead to use the moment as a learning tool. What did I need to do to prevent this from happening the next time I needed her to tow the line?
“Olivia. She was willing to go to jail for me as she stuck a damn fork in Ryan’s thigh. Have you ever done anything like that for anyone in your life?” Stephanie strode across the bedroom floor and opened the door, glancing back at me. “Have you ever done anything for anyone in your life besides what would benefit you?”
“You’re right. Wait. Come back. Let’s talk this out.” I moved toward the door, shaking my head as I got closer to her dubious form. She watched me, suspicion in the depths of her eyes and the angle she held her arms. I held my hands out at my sides. “Look. I agree with you. Olivia deserves so much more than we’ve given her. But I can’t make things right with her with you there poisoning her against me.”
“I didn’t lie and say I was someone else and then screw her brains out. That was you. All you.” Stephanie folded her arms as she watched me, narrowing her eyes as I got closer and closer.
Finally standing in front of her, I reached out and pushed her hair behind her shoulder, ignoring her flinch. “You’re right. You didn’t do it. But what if she’d chosen me from the beginning? You could have pushed her better my direction, right? And now, what? You’re going to go tell her to stay away from me? You’re going to tell her the things we’ve done? She won’t forgive me, Stephanie. If you think she’s going to forgive you, you’re wrong.” I shook my head and pulled her to walk beside me.
She stiffly walked along as if I had her chained and she wasn’t sure how to get out of it. “I just want to talk to her. I deserve that chance.”
“Deserve? You?” I laughed, squeezing her arm as I held my arm around her. “You don’t deserve anything more than what I’ve given you. Maybe less, to be honest.” She certainly deserved the next thing I was going to do.
Forgiven: a bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 3) Page 1