by Marie Sexton
“You did.”
“I thought— Oh!” It was a gasp, a startled sound of wonder, his grip surprisingly strong on Abaddon’s wrist, and Abaddon drew back in alarm.
“What is it?”
Seth’s eyes were wide, and for once, they found Abaddon’s gaze immediately. “I can see!”
Abaddon smiled, thinking how he should have anticipated that. “‘I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight.’”
“And you?” Seth asked, placing his hand against Abaddon’s cheek. “Your eyes are normal. And they’re beautiful. Are you a crooked thing made straight?”
Abaddon took his hand and held it to his chest. “I am a damned man who’s been saved.”
It felt like there was so much more to say, but Zed’s deep voice reached them from somewhere across the grounds. “I don’t care that it’s late! We must leave tonight!”
“Oh no,” Seth groaned. “He wants us gone by dawn again, doesn’t he?”
“You guessed it.”
“I should help.”
“No, you should rest.”
“Please don’t start treating me the way they do, Abaddon, like I’m some kind of liability. I have to do my part.”
Abaddon sighed. “Fair enough. But you should at least change your shirt before you go.” He fingered the blood-soaked collar. “I think this one’s just about had it.”
Seth needed a bit of help getting up, but he was steady enough once he was on his feet. “I can’t believe how happy I am to see the inside of this crappy little trailer.” He blushed a bit as he stripped out of his shirt, as if embarrassed at having Abaddon see him. He took a clean one out of a drawer and ducked into the bathroom to clean up. For a minute, Abaddon heard the water running, but even after it turned off, Seth didn’t emerge. He seemed to be taking forever. The bathroom door was open, so Abaddon peeked inside.
Seth was simply standing shirtless at the mirror, staring at himself.
“Is everything the way you remembered?” Abaddon asked.
Seth closed his eyes. He touched his neck, feeling the smooth, unscarred skin there with shaking fingers. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. “Something’s different, isn’t it? I’m different. I don’t understand what’s happened.”
Abaddon considered Seth’s parentage. His transition from something supernatural to a mere mortal. “There’s a lot you should know.” But the din of the revivalists trying to pack up camp was getting louder, the commotion moving their way. “I’ll explain once we’re on the way, okay?”
Seth nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay.” He pulled the clean T-shirt over his head. Abaddon handed him one of his many scarves.
“It might be easier than explaining how you’re suddenly healed.”
Seth nodded and wrapped it around his neck without checking the mirror. Some habits would take a while to break. He looked more at ease once he was dressed.
“All I’m thinking about is myself.” He stepped closer and put his fingers on Abaddon’s cheek. “How are you?”
Abaddon put his hand over Seth’s and turned his face to kiss Seth’s fingers. “I have no money. No job. No ID. No clothes except the ones I’m wearing. But I am happier than I have ever been.”
“What will you do?” Seth asked. “Will you stay?”
“I will do anything you ask of me.”
Seth’s smile was slow and sweet. “Maybe we can talk about that on the way too.”
“Good idea.”
They made it to the trailer door before Seth turned to face him again.
“This may sound stupid, but…does my soul still belong to God?”
Abaddon laughed. “Without a doubt.” He pulled Seth into his arms and kissed him. “And mine belongs to you.”
* * * * *
It took nearly four hours to pack up camp. Abaddon had a feeling it would have been a bit less if Seth had stayed hidden in his trailer, but everybody could tell he’d miraculously regained his sight, and that slowed things considerably.
Finally, at one o’clock in the morning they were ready to go.
“I’ve driven for you since you were nineteen,” Zed said as he handed Seth the keys to his truck. “But you no longer need my services.”
Seth laughed and handed them to Abaddon. “It might be best if you drive, for now. It’s been a while since I was behind the wheel.”
Besides, he was obviously exhausted. Zed caught a ride in one of the semi trucks, leaving Abaddon alone with Seth in the cab of his pickup. And there, he explained it all—Seth’s parentage, Zed’s true nature, and the fact that Seth was now one hundred percent human.
“So my blindness wasn’t punishment after all?” Seth said, when Abaddon was done. “Not from God, at least. It was just so I wouldn’t leave.”
“And so you wouldn’t see Zed’s true form.”
“I guess that means he’ll go back to Heaven soon.”
Abaddon glanced over at him, but couldn’t read his expression. He had a feeling his spectacular night vision might be the one part of being a devil he missed. “Probably, yes.”
“And you? Will you leave too?”
“Only if you ask me to.”
“And if I asked you to leave, but to take me with you?”
“To see the Grand Canyon?”
“Yes.”
“What about your brother and the revival?”
Seth shrugged. “He’ll be disappointed, but I think he’ll understand. The ministry has always been more his calling than mine.”
“Maybe Zed can send him a vision or something. Mortals always go for those.”
Seth leaned his head against the passenger window. It was a minute before he spoke again. “Will we be okay, Abaddon?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t have a lot, you know. Just this truck, and that trailer we’re towing. I have a violin, a guitar, a couple of keyboards, and about four thousand dollars.”
“I have nothing at all but my devotion to you.”
“It isn’t much to start a life with, is it?”
“It’ll be enough.”
Seth laughed, shaking his head. “I’m suddenly wishing I’d taken you up on that golden fiddle.”
* * * * *
By the time they stopped at six a.m., Seth had been asleep in the passenger seat for three hours, and Abaddon could barely keep his eyes open. Abaddon had a quick conversation with Zed before stumbling into Seth’s trailer. He wanted nothing more than to fall into bed with Seth in his arms.
Seth blushed furiously when Abaddon began stripping to his skivvies. He took his own pajamas into the bathroom to change. He couldn’t seem to meet Abaddon’s eyes when he emerged. He climbed hesitantly into bed, but when Abaddon reached for him, he resisted.
“What’s wrong?”
“Don’t take this wrong, but, uh…no sifting, okay?”
“Sifting?” Abaddon was so tired it took him a moment to make the connection. He chuckled, pulling Seth close, happy just to feel the warmth of his body. “Don’t worry. I’m too tired to sift anyway.”
He slept soundly until just after noon. When he woke, Seth was nowhere to be seen. That troubled him. He had a feeling Seth was avoiding him, although he tried to convince himself he was being foolish. He took advantage of the trailer’s tiny shower. When he emerged, he found a familiar devil in the kitchen, rifling through the trailer’s refrigerator.
“Damien’s dick, I’ve never seen so much yogurt! Don’t they have any potato chips?”
“Baphomet? What are you doing here?”
“Abaddon!” Baphomet slammed the fridge shut and turned to greet him. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to find you, you lousy son of a bitch?”
But he was smiling as he said it and Abaddon found himself laughing, pulling Baphome
t into a hug and pounding him on the back.
“All right, all right. It’s good to see you too. No need to go to pieces on me.”
Abaddon laughed again and let him go. “I hope you’re not here for my soul. I have no intention of making that mistake again.”
“After you found a way out?” Baphomet shook his head. “I’d never do that to a friend. Even a shitty friend who left me stranded alone in Hell.”
“I appreciate that.” But then an even worse thought occurred to him. “And not Seth, either. Tell me you’re not here for Seth.”
“I’m not here for Seth either, I promise. Sugary souls have never been to my taste. I do have a question, though.”
“You want to know how I did it.”
“Well, yeah. Me and every other devil.”
Abaddon told him, and in the end, Baphomet sighed. “So all I have to do is get some fool to fall in love with me and to willingly cede his soul with nothing asked in return, and then I have to decline it?”
“Doesn’t sound so hard, right?”
Baphomet scratched the back of his neck. “I imagine trickery won’t work, either. Knowing the rules of Heaven and Hell, it probably has to be true love.” He met Abaddon’s eyes reluctantly. “You must have found the real thing, my friend.”
Abaddon smiled, thinking of Seth. “I think I did.”
Baphomet groaned. “You always were a disgusting sap. I think I’ll get out of here before you start waxing poetic.”
“I’ll miss seeing you,” Abaddon told him. “It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.”
“Oh, you’ll see me from time to time.” Baphomet clapped Abaddon on the shoulder. “I have every intention of hassling you whenever my schedule permits.”
* * * * *
He found Seth outside, his neck wrapped in a scarf as usual, hanging a load of wet laundry on the line. One line held sheets. The next line held clothes. A few of the items were obviously Seth’s, but several of them looked far too big.
“They’re for you,” Seth said, when he saw Abaddon studying them. “Donated by the Rainbow Revivalists. I figured you’d get tired of wearing the same clothes every day.”
“You figured right.” Abaddon pinched a pair of wet corduroys. He hoped they were more comfortable than they looked. “How exactly did you explain my lack of clothing?”
“I didn’t.”
“You let them guess and then agreed when they said something reasonable?”
Seth grinned at him as he hung the last shirt. “The prevailing theory is that the car you were living out of was stolen, along with everything you own.”
“Makes sense to me.” He took Seth’s hand and pulled him close. Seth came, but kept his eyes on Abaddon’s Adam’s apple, as if he wasn’t used to looking into his eyes yet. Abaddon touched the scarf. “Still hiding your neck?”
Seth shrugged uncomfortably. “Like you said, it’s easier than explaining why I don’t have scars anymore. It’ll only be until we go.”
“Have you talked to your brother about that?”
Seth smiled, looking sinfully mischievous. “Yes. It seems he had some kind of vision last night. Some mysterious angel with a deep, booming voice told him my healing had run its course. He said it’s time for us to part ways, for a while at least. He’s been inspired to give up the revival and take up a growing ministry in Georgia.”
Abaddon laughed. He’d have to thank Zed later. “I told you mortals always go for those angelic visions.”
“I almost feel guilty.” He didn’t look too penitent though. He looked happier than Abaddon had ever seen him. “So are you ready to leave?”
“Whenever you are.”
“I was thinking tomorrow morning.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Now that he was rested, being this close to Seth was driving him crazy. His soul hunger was gone, but he wanted Seth as much as ever. He leaned close, brushing his lips over Seth’s, but Seth pushed him gently away.
Abaddon frowned. Was it only the public display of affection that bothered Seth, or was there something else?
“You know I love you, right?”
Seth nodded, still not meeting Abaddon’s eyes.
“Then what’s wrong? Is this not what you want anymore? I know we haven’t known each other that long. Maybe I’m pushing for something you don’t really want. Maybe it’s too much, too soon.”
Seth shook his head. “No. That’s not it at all. It’s just…” He chewed his lip for a minute, glancing around. Then he took Abaddon’s hand and pulled him behind the damp sheet, granting them a semblance of privacy. “You’ve lived a long time. You’ve probably seen a lot. And now, you’re free to do anything you want.”
“Yes, and the only thing I want is to be with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely positive.”
Seth smiled, still looking unsure of himself, but a bit more confident than before. “The thing is, my trailer is really small.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“And there’s only one bed.”
“I’ve noticed that too.”
Seth’s cheeks were beginning to turn pink, but he finally met Abaddon’s eyes. “I’ve spent twenty-two years living by God’s commands. I don’t intend to stop now. After everything that’s happened, my faith is stronger than ever.”
“I can understand that.”
“And that one night…” Seth let Abaddon pull him close again. He brushed his fingers over the collar of Abaddon’s shirt. “I was dying, Abaddon.”
“I know.”
“But now, I’m not.”
“I know that too.”
Seth blinked at him, waiting. “Don’t you see what I’m saying?”
“No.” Abaddon shook his head, confused. “Is it me? You were willing to settle for me when I was the only option, but now you have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe you want to find somebody better? Somebody closer to your age who shares your beliefs—”
“No! No, you’re not understanding me at all.” Seth bit his lip, and Abaddon feared he was fighting tears. “I don’t need you to share my beliefs, but I need you to respect them.”
“I do.”
“But Abaddon—”
“Is this because I laugh at you when you throw bible quotes at me?”
“No!” Seth smacked him lightly on the chest, half laughing, half crying. “I don’t care about that. But how can we— I can’t—” He gestured helplessly toward the trailer, looking so hopelessly frustrated that Abaddon was tempted to laugh again. “There’s only one bed!”
And suddenly, like somebody had flipped a light switch, Abaddon saw the problem. And the solution. It was so simple, and yet so obvious, it made him laugh out loud.
“What?” Seth asked, trying to pull away. “You’re laughing at me again.”
“No,” Abaddon assured him, holding him tight, refusing to let him get away. He made Seth meet his eyes. “You’re right, there’s only one bed, and I don’t want it to be your bed. I want it to be our bed. I’d drag you in there right now, if I thought you’d let me. But despite what you think, I do respect you. I may not share your beliefs, but I love you for having them.” He wasn’t sure he was explaining it well though. Seth still looked confused. “I can tell you that in all my years in Hell, I never met a single soul who was there just for having sex. But I don’t want anything between us to make you doubt yourself, and there’s only one way to make sure what happens in that one bed doesn’t feel like a sin to you.”
For a moment, Seth held very still, soaking that in. The embarrassment on his face began to look like hope. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course I mean it!”
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you into anything.”
“Are you kidding? I love you so much I can har
dly stand it. ‘But if they have no self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.’” He laughed, debating that. “Although frankly, I don’t see why we can’t do both.”
Seth’s smile had never been brighter. “Get married and burn with passion?”
“Exactly. What do you say?”
“I think I like that idea.”
And this time when Abaddon kissed him, he didn’t pull away.
They sealed the deal that very day, with Thaddeus presiding. And that night, Seth left Abaddon absolutely no doubts about his feelings. They made love with a quiet passion that left them both shaken, kissing away each other’s tears, trembling in each other’s arms.
Abaddon had no idea what Heaven was like, but he couldn’t imagine it was better than what he’d found.
The next morning, they climbed into the truck, Seth driving, and Abaddon in the passenger seat, wearing some of the revivalists’ donated clothing.
It turned out corduroys really were more comfortable than they looked.
“I made us a list,” Seth said, handing Abaddon a lined piece of paper that had been ripped from a spiral-bound notebook. “It’s flexible though. There’s no particular order or anything. We can mix it up. Maybe do some of them more than once.”
Abaddon read it, and all he could do was laugh. He unwound Seth’s scarf and tossed it aside before pulling Seth into a kiss.
He still tasted like cotton candy and honey.
“I think it’s perfect.”
And as they started down the road, he taped the paper to the dashboard.
Grand Canyon
Star Wars
Bryce and Zion
Disneyland
Lots and lots of sifting
About the Author
Marie Sexton’s first novel, Promises, was published in January 2010. Since then, she’s published nearly thirty novels, novellas, and short stories, all featuring men who fall in love with other men. Her works include contemporary romance, science fiction, fantasy, historicals, and a few odd genre mash-ups. Marie is the recipient of multiple Rainbow Awards, as well as the CRW Award of Excellence in 2012. Her books have been translated into six languages.
Marie lives in Colorado. She’s a fan of just about anything that involves muscular young men piling on top of each other. In particular, she loves the Denver Broncos and enjoys going to the games with her husband. Her imaginary friends often tag along. Marie has one daughter, two cats, and one dog, all of whom seem bent on destroying what remains of her sanity. She loves them anyway.