At Any Cost

by Mandy Baxter

  Not even the cops had a lead on her. And Joel had enough of them on his payroll to know. Four fucking years he’d been looking over his shoulder, dodging the feds. Worried that his goddamned ledger would end up in the wrong hands. His business associates wouldn’t appreciate their names coming across a federal agent’s desk. He didn’t give a shit about the heat that was on him. No, what Joel feared was being taken out by the Russians or the Cartel because that stupid bitch decided to give in to her conscience.

  “How well do you know Bill?” he asked Z-Dog.

  “Pretty well. He rode with the Satan’s Minions charter from out by Crescent City before he went nomad. Joined the Lords after that I’m pretty sure. I think he’s trustworthy.”

  “You think?” Joel leveled his gaze.

  “He’s solid,” Z-Dog amended.

  They were on good terms with the Minions and the Lords of Mayhem. Both had run shipments of guns into Arizona and Montana for him a few years back. Joel didn’t trust nomads, though. Too fickle. When a man put a patch on his jacket, he should keep his ass loyal and grounded. “Shorty, get ahold of Rich with the Minions and see if you can get any info on this nomad.”

  Shorty nodded. “And if he checks out?”

  Joel wanted that ledger and he wouldn’t stop until he got it back. “You and the prospect will go on a road trip.”

  “Idaho?” Shorty sneered. “Don’t they have snow and shit up there this time of year?”

  Joel grabbed Shorty by the jacket and hauled him out of his chair. He gave him a rough shake and stood nose to nose with the club’s VP. “I don’t care if they’ve got a fucking zombie apocalypse up there. I want my ledger and I want that bitch dead. You understand me?”

  Shorty’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t utter a word. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

  Joel let go of his jacket with a forceful shove. “Good.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Nick couldn’t muster even an ounce of guilt over asking Livy out again. The second he laid eyes on her any decent, moral, or even marginally responsible decision-making skills he might have possessed evaporated. He had a little under three weeks left of his month of mandatory leave and Nick knew that with Morgan’s help, he could have a solid lead on Meecum’s whereabouts before his time was up. Every second with Livy counted because it could be his last. The thought soured his stomach and caused a hollow ache to open up in his chest.

  When she found out why he’d come here, she’d hate him. If Morgan found something out that would implicate Livy in a crime, forcing Nick to make an arrest, he would surely hate himself. He’d never harbored any soft emotions for anyone who chose to break the law. You do the crime, you do the time. Period. But ever since he’d met her, Nick had begun to wonder if his black-and-white outlook on the law was fair. If Livy had done something illegal, it could have been under duress.

  Wishful thinking. Whatever her involvement with Joel Meecum and the Black Death MC, Nick knew it was a pipe dream to assume it had been innocent.

  But God, he wanted her to be innocent.

  Before he could get out of his truck, Livy was headed down the stairs. She pulled open the passenger-side door and climbed in with the aid of the oh-shit bar just above the window. Though she’d tried to cover her wince of pain, Nick hadn’t missed it. She must have crashed pretty hard for her knee to still be hurting.

  “I didn’t realize your knee was as banged up as it is. We don’t have to go out.”

  Her brows knit and she gave him a tight-lipped smile as though trying to gauge his sincerity. “I’m fine. I’ve had worse injuries.”

  Nick buckled up and pulled out of Livy’s driveway. “Like what?”

  “I broke my arm during a race when I was thirteen. Pulled a hammy when I was fifteen. I’ve twisted knees, ankles, hyperextended my elbow. Bruises, bumps, concussions. When you go ham, you get hurt.”

  Laughter erupted in Nick’s chest. “Go ham?”

  “Yeah. Go crazy, go all-out. Balls to the wall. If you want to win, you find your flow state and tell fear to fuck off.”

  Yard sales, going ham . . . flow state? It was like Livy spoke a foreign language. He couldn’t wait to hear what she cooked up next. “You go ham a lot?”

  Livy shrugged. “I did. It’s why I won most of my races. It’s also why I crashed a lot.”

  “I’ve seen some pretty epic crashes on TV. It looks like it hurts to wreck.”

  “Oh yeah.” Livy gave a quiet laugh. “When you’re tucked and barreling at super GS gates going sixty-five or seventy miles an hour and catch an edge, the landing hurts like a bitch. Especially when the course is iced.”

  “Iced?” Jesus, that didn’t sound good.

  “If the snow’s too soft, they’ll spray the course with water to ice it down. It helps to keep it from breaking down after so many runs and it makes the snow faster, too.”

  “You’re certifiably crazy. You know that, right?”

  Livy laughed. “I think anyone has to be a little crazy to strap a couple of thin composite planks to your feet and point yourself downhill on a four-thousand-foot vertical drop.”

  Downhill skiers were, in fact, crazy. Nick didn’t care about anyone else, though. Just the woman sitting beside him. “You’ve got that right. But you should be careful up there. I don’t want to see anything else on your body broken or hurt.”

  They ended up at a place called The Sushi Bar for dinner. Livy had bought a few of the rolls they sold to the grocery store and she admitted to wanting to try out the restaurant for a while now. By the time they were done eating, Nick was convinced they’d eaten almost everything the place had to offer. The Sushi Bar actually rivaled the sushi places in Seattle and that was saying something. They ate, drank too much sake, talked about nothing and everything. Nick didn’t press Livy for any more personal details. Deep down, he didn’t want to. Livy made him want to douse all of his convictions with gasoline and light a match. That part of him that needed to know the truth—was desperate to discover what her history was with Meecum—dulled in the brilliance of her presence. He’d never met a woman like Livy. And the way she made him feel scared the shit out of him.

  She rested her arms on the table. He reached out to catch her right wrist in his hand and turned her wrist upward. He resisted the urge to brush his thumb over the black ink of the tattoo and, instead, brought his questioning gaze to hers.

  “Tree of life,” she said with a nervous laugh. “My coaches used to have me meditate the day before a big race. You envision the tree growing, the branches going back into the ground to become the roots of the tree as it grows again and again into infinity. I got the tattoo as a reminder to stay calm even when things feel like they’re out of control.”

  Nick’s brow furrowed. God, he wanted to put his mouth to that mark. Kiss the ink on her skin. “I love it,” he replied. “I think we all need a reminder to stay calm every once in a while.”

  She cleared her throat and straightened in her chair. From the corner of his eye, Nick caught the pleasant flush of color on Livy’s cheeks before she turned to look out the window. His gut curled into a ball and he let out a slow breath. Jesus, what are you doing, man? He was digging himself a damned big hole, that’s what.

  “I’m so full I don’t think I can move out of my seat,” Livy said with a laugh. “You seriously have to quit feeding me.”

  Nick took in the sight of her, so at ease, her cheeks painted with a blush and her smile wide and shining like the sun. Pleasure and contentment radiated from her and pride swelled in Nick’s chest that he’d been the one to make her feel that way.

  “I can’t,” Nick remarked. “Not until we’ve eaten at every restaurant in town.”

  Livy’s brow arched. “Every restaurant? You sure about that?”

  “Every single one,” Nick said solemnly.

  “You might wish you hadn’t laid down that gauntlet.”

  Nick didn’t give a shit about where he ate or what he did. What he really wanted was an ex
cuse to spend as much time with Livy as possible. “I’m not leaving town until I see more than just the view from my kitchen.”

  “There’s not much to see,” Livy said with a wry grin. “I bet we can cover it all in about a week.”

  That might be all the time Nick had left. He pushed the maudlin thought—and the worry that clawed at him—to the back of his mind. There wasn’t any use in overthinking the situation until he heard back from Morgan and it was hard telling if the small bit of information he’d managed to get from Livy would do them any good. Christ, part of him actually hoped that Morgan would come up empty-handed.

  “Where to next?” Nick could have taken her home, prayed she’d invite him inside again. He didn’t want to take the chance that she’d come to her senses and send him on his way after last night’s epic fail, though. He’d keep her out until sunrise if he had to.

  “There’s not much to do but hit up the bars,” Livy said with a nervous laugh. Nick recognized a bit of the familiar anxiety begin to creep up on her again. Livy’s shoulders inched up toward her ears and her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ve never been to any of them.”

  “Never?” He tried to sound surprised but by now he knew Livy had a done a good job of staying off the radar. He wanted to tell her that she had nothing to worry about. That he’d protect her from whatever she was afraid of. But he knew that it was impossible to do so. Especially when he might well be one of the things she was hiding from.

  Livy looked away as though embarrassed. “I’m sort of a homebody.”

  “Do you want to go home?” Nick didn’t want to pressure her or cause her any more anxiety. Even if he didn’t want the night to end.

  “No.” She spoke so softly he had to strain to hear the word. “I don’t want to go home.”

  Her vulnerability nearly laid him low. God, he hoped Morgan got skunked in his research of Livy, because Nick knew in his heart that there was no way in hell she was anything but innocent.

  * * *

  What in the hell are you thinking, Livy?

  Every moment spent with Nick made her more and more reckless. She’d been out more in the short time since meeting him than she had in all of the four years that she’d lived here. Joel had eyes everywhere. Cops, FBI. Criminal connections that spanned the globe. Nowhere was safe from curious eyes and ears. She wouldn’t be surprised if there was a price on her head. Scratch that. She was positive there was hefty price on her head. And yet, she was out enjoying McCall’s meager nightlife as though she didn’t have a care in the world.

  Nick made her want to reclaim and enjoy the life she’d put on a shelf when she’d left California, though. He made her want to laugh and let her guard down. He made her want to feel. And she was too far gone to his seductive charm to think clearly. She’d stopped making good decisions the moment his lips claimed hers the night before.

  Livy was simply too far gone to care.

  It seemed ridiculous to drive a couple of blocks from the restaurant to the bar, but with the snow coming down so heavy—big, white flakes that left little to no visibility—neither of them was in the mood to walk. Livy had always been a winter girl. She liked the cold, loved to wear sweaters and layers. Thick-soled, heavily insulated boots were so much better than a pair of flip-flops or heels. But as she got out of the truck and headed for The Canoe bar, she wished her outfit wasn’t quite so utilitarian. Especially when she saw how some of the other women were dressed once they went inside.

  Livy nearly turned around and walked back out the door. She’d never been overly concerned about her appearance but being with Nick had sparked some ridiculous girly urge to do her hair, put on a fuck-ton of makeup, and pour herself into a sexy outfit that was too uncomfortable for her to really enjoy herself in.

  She stopped abruptly and Nick bumped into her back. Rather than pull away, he stood rooted to his spot on the floor. His hands came to rest on her hips and he leaned over her right ear. His breath caressed the outer shell and Livy shuddered. “Come on,” he murmured. “It’ll be okay. Let me buy you a drink.”

  Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea. Instinct tugged at the back of Livy’s mind and she let out a forceful gust of breath. How could she turn around and leave when Nick’s voice was so confident in her ear? So reassuring. And God, his hands on her hips felt good. She tilted her head up to speak over the din of music. “Okay.” His crisp, masculine scent hit her and a rush of heat filtered through Livy’s body. She wanted to lick him. Just run her tongue from his throat to the lobe of his ear. A groan of pure sexual frustration worked itself up her throat and she swallowed it down. She hadn’t been with a man since she’d moved to McCall. Talk about a dry spell. Her night of foreplay with Nick was the closest she’d gotten to anything that even resembled sex. If she didn’t find a little satisfaction soon, she might spontaneously combust. He’d shown up in her life out of nowhere and reminded Livy of everything she’d been missing out on. Moving on would be even harder because of him, and still, she couldn’t bring herself to put any distance between them.

  She refused to think about future heartache now. She didn’t want to waste another minute of time with Nick.

  They found a table at the back of the bar. Livy shucked her coat and hung it on the chair behind her and once again wished she was wearing something more attractive than a too-big sweater and her clunky boots. Nick’s gaze warmed as it roamed over her. A tingle of sensation spread from the center of Livy’s chest outward and settled at the tips of her nipples as she called to mind the way it had felt to have his mouth on her.

  As they waited for a server, Livy took a quick look around and acquainted herself with the exits. It sucked balls that she felt the need to have an escape route ready to roll in the event a gang of nasty-looking bikers strode through the door. Would Joel be so stupid, though? He’d probably be stealthier than that. He’d send someone who looked like a Sunday school teacher or a harmless-looking old man. Which was why Livy lived like a hermit. She couldn’t trust anyone or anything. She trusted Nick, though, didn’t she? Which seemed ridiculous since he was the most dangerous man she’d met in a long time.

  The intensity that boiled just below the surface of his skin drove her crazy. It excited her, ignited her desires, set her on freaking fire. She couldn’t help but want him. He drew her to him in a way she was helpless to fight. Her want of him scared her and yet, Livy knew that she wouldn’t be satisfied until they’d finished what they’d started last night.

  “Have I mentioned how much I love that sweater?” Nick situated his chair so they sat close to each other and he put his mouth to her ear as he spoke. Pleasant chills raced along Livy’s flesh. Every touch, every word was electric.

  A smile curved Livy’s lips and she angled her mouth so that it rested against his cheek. “You do?”

  “Oh yeah. I’d like to see you wearing just this sweater, with nothing underneath.”

  A hot wave of desire crashed over her. Livy started as Nick reached beneath her sweater and laid his palm to her bare torso. His touch crept upward toward her breast. His thumb brushed almost innocently over her nipple and Livy sucked in a breath.

  “I’ve been thinking about these all day,” he murmured.

  Livy let out a nervous laugh. “My nipples?”

  “Tiny, pink, delicious nipples,” Nick amended.

  His words effectively cranked the heat up by fifty degrees. Livy began to sweat and her clit throbbed. If Nick kept it up, he’d have her worked into a lather long before they made it back to her place.

  “Delicious?” She egged him on in the hopes he’d continue to caress her ears with his dark, sensual voice. She couldn’t get enough of it.

  “I could suck on them for hours.”

  Livy’s lower abdomen clenched. “Is that all?”

  “Suck, lick, bite. Would you like it if I nibbled and bit them?”

  She wasn’t embarrassed to admit it. “Yes.”

  “Hard or soft?”

  A few more wo
rds from him and she’d be boneless. “Both.”

  “What else do you want me to do to you, Livy?”

  His thumb brushed across her nipple again. This time, though, the contact wasn’t so innocent as he followed up with a pinch through the fabric of her bra. Livy let out a low moan and she was grateful for the loud music and hum of the crowd.

  “I thought that taking you out tonight would help me keep a respectable distance,” Nick growled close to her ear. “But I can’t seem to keep my fucking hands off of you no matter how I try.”

  Thank God for small favors. “I’m not complaining.”

  “You haven’t told me what you want me to do to you.” With every flick of his thumb over her nipple Livy became more aroused. She knew her underwear was already soaked and she couldn’t slow her breathing to save her life. “I want to hear it.”

  “I want you to kiss me,” Livy said. She bolstered her courage. She could be as forward as Nick could. “I want you to lick and suck my nipples, my clit. I want your mouth on my pussy so bad I can’t stand it. I want you bite me, to put your hands on me.” She took a deep breath. “I want you to fuck me.”

  Their server returned with their drinks and Livy tried to pull away. Nick wouldn’t let her, though, and he kept his palm cupped over her breast. Score a point for baggy clothes. The bulk of her sweater allowed him to fondle her in the middle of a crowded bar without anyone realizing it. It was brazen and unapologetic. And fucking hot.

  A cheerful woman with a bright smile and edgy, short red hair set the bottle of IPA in front of Nick and he reached out and took a pull from the bottle while he stroked Livy’s breast under her sweater. His gaze burned and his jaw squared. Livy had never wanted to be home in her bed more in her entire life. Only this time she didn’t want to be there alone. She wanted Nick right there with her.