by Mandy Baxter
“You have the ledger.”
She did have the ledger. But was it enough for her to be forgiven? Turning over the ledger would certainly help, but it wouldn’t end there. “Joel doesn’t just go to jail and that’s the end of it, though. There has to be a trial.” She inhaled a deep breath and the dry, cool air caused her lungs to ache. “I’ll have to testify.”
Nick’s eyes darkened and his expression became grim. “Yeah. You will.”
She’d thought her life had been lonely and full of fear before? It was only going to get worse from here. Livy knew what happened to people like her. Joel would try to have her killed before the trial. And to remain safe, she’d have to go back into hiding.
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Nick,” Livy whispered. “I’m not sure I have it in me.”
Another new identity? Another city? Another life? She couldn’t do it again. Couldn’t isolate herself. Hell, she didn’t know if she could live another hour, let alone a day, without the man standing beside her bed. “Do you want to know what the worst part of all of this is, Nick?”
He gave her a questioning look.
Livy swallowed against the emotion that rose in her throat. Damn it, she didn’t want to cry because she needed to get this out. “I hated it when I had to come clean with being Kari because that’s not who I wanted to be. I don’t ever want to be her again. Livy is so much better.”
Nick studied her with his deep, expressive eyes. His hand twitched as though he’d thought to reach out for her but changed his mind. “Why is Livy better?” he asked, low.
She took a deep breath and a fresh round of icy chills danced over her skin, but whether from the hypothermia or her own fear, she didn’t know. “Because Livy had you.”
* * *
It had taken an hour for Nick to stop shaking after Livy passed out in the snow. Another hour of worry while they warmed her up and stabilized her heart rate. His stomach felt as though it had no lining left and exhaustion pulled at his limbs. After making sure the local sheriff’s deputies knew exactly what sort of criminals they were taking to the county jail, Nick had met Morgan at the tiny city airport and filled him in on what had happened so he could bump up the timetable and get a few more deputy marshals to McCall to transfer Meecum and the surviving members of his crew ASAP. He’d filled him in on the situation with Livy and hoped that he’d done enough to convince his colleague that she shouldn’t be taken into custody. Then, Nick had waited. Waited beside Livy’s bed, his heart shredded in his chest, as he faced the realization that he was so fucking in love with her that he didn’t think he could live another second without her.
So much for keeping this investigation professional.
He might be new to the job, but Nick wasn’t without connections. He’d do whatever in the hell was within his power to help her. Livy was a victim. Period. He’d plead her case to anyone who would listen until they were all convinced as well.
“You’ve been through a lot.” Nick felt like a broken record. The words he wanted to say stuck at the back of his throat and refused to come out. “But I promise you it’s all going to be uphill from here.”
Livy wouldn’t meet his gaze. She’d told him she loved him before she passed out. Reaffirmed it in so many words just now. She’d bared herself to him and Nick was beating around the bush like a pussy. Livy was the strongest person he’d ever met and she deserved more than what his chickenshit ass was giving her right now.
“I don’t care what name you want to go by,” Nick said. “I didn’t fall in love with a name. I fell in love with you.”
As Livy brought her face up to look at him, her bright hazel eyes shone with emotion. “You love me?”
“I am so in love with you.” Nick bent over her and stroked his fingers gently over her temple. “I love every single thing about you.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know what matters. I know that you’re funny, sexy . . . loyal. I know that you make great spaghetti and love winter. You’re kind. Caring. You tie me into knots and make my heart beat so fast I feel like it’s going to burst out of my chest. There isn’t a minute of the day that I’m not thinking about how beautiful you are, how smart. How determined. And you can swing a shovel like a boss.”
“The credit goes to Frank Junior,” Livy said with a wry smile. “He’s a legit crime fighter.”
Nick laughed. She was one of a kind and he wasn’t ever going to let her go. “I love you, Livy. I love you so much it hurts.”
“Love isn’t supposed to hurt,” she whispered.
“It hurts in a good way,” Nick replied. “In a way that makes me feel alive.”
“For years I’ve told myself that alone was better than dead,” Livy said. “That the pain of loneliness was worth protecting myself.”
“Do you still believe that?”
She reached up and cupped Nick’s cheek with her right palm. Her thumb brushed over his skin. Her touch held on to the chill and a wave of worry rolled over him. If anything ever happened to her, it would kill him. He’d spend the rest of his life making sure that no one ever hurt her, ever let her down again.
“I stopped believing that the day you pushed my car out of a snowdrift,” she replied. “I love you, Nick.”
“You love me?” Hearing those words from her again only made Nick want to hear them more. A daily—no hourly—affirmation that he couldn’t get enough of. “I thought maybe when you said it earlier, it was the hypothermia talking.”
“No way. I knew exactly what I was talking about. You’re the best man I’ve even known, Nick.”
His chest ached with an excess of emotion. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he loved her so much it hurt.
“What now?” Livy’s tone once again became serious. She clutched the blankets around her as a slight shiver possessed her.
Hell if he knew. Nick was as uncertain of the future as Livy. Metcalf wasn’t going to let him off with a slap on the wrist, plus there was the added complication of being involved with a witness in an open investigation. Those weren’t even the worst of Nick’s worries, however. There would be a possibility that Livy would be placed in WITSEC.
“Now, we worry about you getting back to one hundred percent. After that, you’ll tell your story.” Anxiety pinched Livy’s expression and Nick added, “I’ll be there with you. Every step of the way.”
“You can’t stay here with me.” Livy’s voice cracked with emotion. “You have to go back to your life, Nick. I can’t be the reason you’re held back—or worse.”
“I’ve got a week left of my mandatory vacation,” Nick remarked. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“What happens when the week is over?” Livy murmured. “We can’t go back to living the lie no matter how much we both want to.”
Nick wasn’t interested in living a lie. “Do you have any other deep, dark secrets you’re keeping?”
Livy frowned. “No.”
“Then I don’t see a problem here.”
“How about the fact that you could lose your job?” Livy asked. “I don’t know a lot about the Marshals Service, but I’m willing to bet that taking a suspect—or a witness—to bed isn’t rewarded with a pat on the back and an ‘atta-boy!’”
Nick knew what she was trying to do and he wouldn’t let her. “You’re not pushing me away. I don’t care what you say. I want you. I’m not scared.”
“You want Livy,” she whispered.
“I want Livy, Kari, or whatever the hell else you want to call yourself.” Nick braced his arm on the opposite railing and met her look for look. “And you want me, too.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” she said. “You said it yourself, I’ll have to spill my guts to cops and marshals for days. After that, I’ll have to testify in Joel’s trial. I know what you guys are famous for: witness protection. I’ll be back in hiding the second I’m done telling my story. I won’t make you wait around for me whi
le I’m hiding out. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
“There are ways around that.” She could talk until she was blue in the face, it didn’t matter.
“I want to live near a ski area,” she said. “Not a small hill like Stevens Pass. I want world-class. I wouldn’t expect you to give up the job and life you’ve made for yourself because I’m selfish and stubborn.”
“The last thing you are is selfish,” Nick remarked. “But you might be the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. I don’t give a single shit where I live. As for my job, this might shock you, but there are offices in districts all over the country. I can work anywhere and still do what I want to do. You want to work near a world-class ski resort? Say the word. I’ll pack up my shit and move. Because nothing”—he leaned in until their lips nearly touched—“nothing means more to me than you. Arresting Meecum was supposed to be the big feather in my cap. A win that would enable me to write my own ticket. And do you know what I felt when I cuffed him? Nothing but rage that he’d hurt you. I didn’t care about the win. All I care about is you.”
“I want Frank Junior to live with us,” she whispered. “Can you handle sharing me with him?”
God, he loved her quirkiness. Nick smiled. “I’m a man who’s secure in his masculinity. Frank Junior doesn’t threaten me. Besides, I owe him one.”
Livy’s smile grew from sheepish to blindingly brilliant.
She’d been through so much and not only tonight. Nick realized that she was afraid to trust. Afraid to let go. She’d been hurt over and again. She pushed Nick away because she was used to being left. Aside from her mother, she’d always been alone. “I’m not leaving you, Livy,” he said. “I told you I wouldn’t let you down and I meant it. I’m not going anywhere.” Nick would make sure that she didn’t have to go through anything else alone. He’d be there for her no matter what. Whatever happened after tonight, they’d deal with it together.
“I love you, Livy.” Nick couldn’t say it enough. Would never get tired of telling her.
Her eyes pooled with tears and joy lit her face. “I love you, too.”
He kissed her gently. When he pulled away Livy’s expression shone with mischief and a smile tugged at her lips.
“What?”
“You do realize that I’m going to have to teach you to ski, right? By the time I’m through with you, you’ll be shredding pow with the pros.”
Nick quirked a brow. His own silly smile couldn’t be quelled. Goddamn. He loved her so much. “Pow? Is that like going ham?”
Livy’s lighthearted laughter was the sweetest music to his ears. “No,” she said. “But you’ll catch on.”
“You’ll have to go easy on me,” he replied. “I know I told you I skied when I was a kid but the truth is, I quit after the first run because I was tired of falling.”
“That’s because you never had me as a teacher,” Livy said with pride. “We’ll start with pizza wedges and French fries, and go from there.”
“I don’t understand a word you’re saying, but I can take whatever you throw at me.”
Livy’s expression became serious. “Are you sure, Nick? Are you sure you’re ready for this? For me?”
She’d been alone for so long. Had lived her life with so little love. Nick would spend every day of the rest of his life making sure she knew how much he cared. How much he loved her. He put his mouth to hers, a gentle kiss that ended far too quickly. When he pulled away, Nick smiled.
“Try me.”
Love the U.S. Marshals? Keep an eye out for
LOCKED AND LOADED,
the latest in Mandy Baxter’s series,
available in Fall, 2016
from Zebra Books.
Credit: Kimberly Minter Photography
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mandy Baxter lives in rural Idaho. She’s a part-time pet wrangler, a full-time sun worshipper, and only goes out into the cold when coerced. She loves black clothes, pink appliances, and thinks junk food should be a recognized food group. In the summer, she can be found sitting by the lake, enjoying the view from her dock. She also writes urban fantasy under Amanda Bonilla. For more about Mandy, visit www.mandy-baxter.com.
ONE NIGHT MORE
Savvy, hard-riding, rule-breaking—
they’ll go anywhere and do anything
it takes to protect and serve.
But this U. S. marshal has just met his match—
and playing for keeps is one sizzling game....
Getting saved from disaster by a handsome
stranger—Harper Allen has no problem with that.
But when he leaves without a word or a clue to his
real identity, the newbie reporter writes it off
as the best one-night stand she’ll ever have.
Until a year later, when Harper comes face-to-face
with the man assigned to hide her
from a senator’s killer....
Galen Kelly hasn’t forgotten a single sensual
minute of his night with Harper . . .
or that she betrayed him. With the FBI also on
their trail, he’s got to pretend he’s never met her
or risk both their lives. But as danger closes in,
Galen may not be able to protect himself
from taking the biggest risk of all....
ONE KISS MORE
Rough, tough, and by the book,
he’s most criminals’ worst nightmare.
Until the girl of his dreams
is caught on the other side . . .
Emma Ruiz knows her father is innocent.
But that doesn’t help her convince the law—
not even smoking hot U.S. Marshal Landon
McCabe. When McCabe bangs on her door
demanding information about how her
cancer-stricken father escaped from
federal prison, she’ll have to distract him
somehow—it may as well be with a stolen kiss.
Landon gets why Emma isn’t saying all she knows.
What he doesn’t understand is why he’s putting
his reputation, his case, and his badge on the line
for a gorgeous person of interest. Much as he’d
love to, he can’t let Emma play him. The stakes
are higher than either of them can guess.
The only way to survive is to trust their instincts.
But their instincts want more than one kiss....
ONE TOUCH MORE
Strong, relentless, and lethal,
he plays every angle to trap the worst criminals.
But for the one woman he can’t resist,
he’ll break all the rules....
For hotel manager Tabitha Martin, bad boys
usually spell disaster. And her new guest
promises just that, with his formidable build,
tattooed biceps, and quiet take-no-mess attitude.
Tabitha is already putting everything on the line
to escape her vicious drug-dealing ex’s control
for good—but a single sizzling moment in
“Damien Evans’s” arms has her wanting
all the trouble he can give....
He’s been undercover too long and likes living
dangerously too much. U.S. Marshal Parker Evans
figures maybe that’s why he doesn’t immediately
put Tabitha in custody. Sure, she’s his one chance
to finally take down a major drug ring. But every
minute he protects this mostly innocent blonde
leaves his heart all too vulnerable. And the cost
of desire could be a deadly endgame. . . .
ZEBRA BOOKS are published by
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Copyright © 2016 by Amanda Bonilla
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ISBN-13: 978-1-4201-4105-4
ISBN-10: 1-4201-4105-8
ISBN: 978-1-4201-4105-4