by Jess Bentley
I’m just beginning to get lost in the movie when I feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out of my jeans and see it’s Anna, and for a second I panic. She hasn’t been on a date in such a long time, I really don’t want things to go badly for her tonight.
“Anna? Honey? What’s wrong?”
Her voice is reverberating, as if she is in an echo chamber, but she laughs. “Nothing is wrong! I snuck out to go to the bathroom so I could call you.”
I choke on my wine. “Why would you do that?”
“I had to tell you! It’s going really well, Parrish. He’s so sweet. Nothing like I expected. You know how he looks during the day at a job site?”
I picture Sid Warren in his overalls and baseball hat and flannel and shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, he looks like a model tonight. He’s wearing a sweater over a button-down, and he has glasses on that make his eyes just pop. And he has these skinny jeans on that highlight his… everything, Parrish. His everything,” she accentuates “everything” and I burst out laughing.
“Sneak a picture! I want to see!” I say through my laughter.
“I’ll do what I can. But seriously, Pare. He’s so sweet, and kind, and he’s such a gentleman. I just want to rip his clothes off in the middle of the restaurant,” she whispers.
“Oh my God, Anna!”
“What? A girl has needs,” Anna says with a chuckle. “Anyway, I need to get back before he thinks I’m doing something unladylike in here.”
I snicker. “I won’t press for details. Have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Likewise!” Anna says, and hangs up before I can swear at her for giving me shit about Hawk. I set my phone down on the coffee table as Hawk walks back into the living room and plops down in his dad’s easy chair.
“And who was that?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Your sister. She snuck into the bathroom to give me an update on dinner.”
Hawk’s face goes all stern and brotherly. “I hope he’s being a gentleman. If he so much as lays a finger on her…”
“You’ll lay him out in the barn in front of the entire crew?”
Hawk’s shoulders drop. “Do I need to apologize again?” he asks sincerely.
“No. And I think we can put a cap on the apologies for now. Just, in general. Let’s assume I know you’re sorry for everything and move on. So, is Gracie asleep?”
He picks up his glass of wine and takes a long sip. “Sure is. I gave her a shot of whiskey and a hit off of one of dad’s cigars, and she was out like a light.”
I pick up the pillow from the end of the couch and smack him with it. “Jokes about getting my toddler intoxicated are not funny, Hawk.”
“Maybe not to you,” he says with a laugh. “Anyway, she’s asleep. I read her that moon book that Matt loved when he was a kid and she was asleep before I finished it.”
I smile. “That’s actually your copy. If you look at the front page, it’s inscribed to you from your grandmother I think? Matt just stole it.”
Hawk looks down at his lap. “I miss him, Parrish.”
“You’re not the only one.”
Neither of us talks for while; we just stare at the TV and drink our wine until the movie ends and the credits start to roll. Hawk looks down at the dishes and sighs. “Should we start cleaning this up?”
I shrug. “If we don’t, no one else will.”
We start gathering everything up and carry it into the kitchen, then Hawk starts cleaning plates as I put away leftovers. Once I have everything in the fridge, I cross over to the sink to help him dry, but when I reach to take a plate from him, our hands touch, and I feel spark that radiates through my entire body. I can see that he feels it too, because he looks at me with a longing in his eyes that mirrors everything I am feeling in the pit of my stomach. Hawk picks up a dish towel and uses it to brush the soap bubbles from his hands, then he reaches over and gently touches my cheek.
“Hawk, we already talked about this. I can’t…” I want to say, but the words don’t form. And he doesn’t say anything either. He just leans forward, and softly kisses me. I lean back against the sink, using the edge to hold myself up, afraid I am going to just crumple to the floor. His kiss becomes more insistent, and his muscular body presses up against me, sending me into a swirl of dizzying confusion. I can feel the heft of his manhood against my stomach, and despite my better judgment, the only thing I want in this moment is to tear his pants off and let him take me right here on the counter.
Hawk looks down at me, his cheeks flush and his eyes sparkling. “Parrish, I…”
But he doesn’t get a chance to finish. We both hear the front door to the house open, and Sam and Candy’s happy voices as they walk inside. I quickly straighten out my clothes, and Hawk turns to face the sink so his parents can’t see the physical evidence of what we were just doing. They walk into the kitchen, laughing and smiling, Sam’s arms loaded down with bags of leftovers and Candy carrying a half-empty bottle of wine.
“Well! Good evening, kids. Parrish, you’re never up this late,” Candy says with a wink. Sam starts putting the carryout containers in the fridge and then exclaims in excitement.
“Chicken legs and pasta? Between that and our leftovers, Candy here may never have to cook again!”
Hawk and I both laugh awkwardly, and way too loudly, causing Sam and Candy to look at us like we’re insane. Hawk still hasn’t turned around, and Sam surveys him suspiciously.
“Son, is there something of importance in that dishwater? You haven’t said two words to us since we walked through the door.”
I see Hawk look down for a split second, then kind of uncomfortably shift around, then he finally turns with a weird smile. “Sorry, pop. I just really wanted to get those dishes done. So, how was dinner?”
Candy and Sam look at each other, then look at us, before seemingly shrugging off their confusion. “It was incredible. Thank you for the reservation, son. We need to go out, just the two of us, more often. What did you two kids get up to all by yourself?”
I have to remind myself to stay stone-faced. “We just made some dinner, put Gracie to bed, watched a movie. Nothing too exciting. Anna called. She’s having a good time with Sid. And she assured me he’s being a perfect gentleman, so no one has anything to worry about.”
Candy laughs. “She called you from her date? What did she do? Call you from the bathroom?”
“Yes, actually,” I answer with a chuckle. “And on that note, I should probably get to bed. The plumber is coming first thing tomorrow with his team to start figuring out the logistics of the build. So. Goodnight everyone!” I don’t make eye contact; I just run out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room, where I crawl into bed without changing out of my jeans and sweatshirt. Once I’m safely under the quilt, I allow myself the luxury of a giggle.
I hate myself for feeling this way, about Hawk of all people, but there is no question. All of the old butterflies are back, and I have no idea how to fight them anymore.
And I’m not even sure I want to, I muse as my hand drifts between my legs.
Chapter 18
Hawk
I stand back and look at the stable, and I can’t believe how close we are to being done. It’s been two weeks since that night in the kitchen with Parrish, and we’ve been cutting each other a wide berth since then. I think we’re both afraid of what it means to be alone with each other, of what it means that every time we are alone, we can’t seem to keep our hands off one another. With the project nearing completion, and me on the verge of going back to Los Angeles, it’s given a stark sense of reality to all of our interactions, and I can feel her pulling away, putting more and more distance between us every time we speak.
And I don’t really blame her.
I feel like I’m being torn in two every time I look at her now. There is the part of me that is being forced to admit how I feel about her. That I may even really love her, more than I ever
thought I could love anyone. But there is a bigger part of me that can’t handle the idea of loving my brother’s wife, the idea of coming back to Dylan, and the ranch, for good, and wants to run screaming back to LA. I never expected it to be like this, and it’s making every day a fresh kind of hell.
It doesn’t help that Simone has gotten even more clingy the closer we get to the completion date. Every time I turn around, she’s there, asking me an irrelevant question, or taking a picture of me doing something completely benign. I’ve literally walked her over to my father, or Parrish, and even once, Sid and Anna, trying to get her to interview anyone else. But it feels like she’s explicitly trying to convince me of something that will never happen, no matter how hard I try and avoid her.
Even now, as I stand at the edge of the property, watching as the guys lay the concrete for the walkways around the new stable, I can feel her hovering behind me. I try to avoid her for as long as I can, but finally, I can smell her perfume, which means she’s standing right behind me, and I’m forced to turn around.
“Hey, Simone,” I say through a forced smile. She flashes her thousand-watt one back at me, and I can’t help but notice she’s dressing more and more like Parrish. I’m starting to wonder if she’s stealing clothes from her instead of my sister and just forcing them to fit.
“Hey, you,” Simon says with a wink. “Your mother just told me that she’s planning a huge party for the opening of the new stables. Could I interest you in being my date?”
Oh, no. No. No, no, no, no, no. Go away please.
“That’s a kind offer, Simone, but I don’t think I’d make a very good date. I’ll be super busy that night, chatting with possible investors and showing people around. You may want to ask around for someone that will be able to be a little more attentive.”
She pokes me playfully in the chest, and I feel my face start to reflect my annoyance, so I have to stamp it back down.
“Silly boy, I don’t mind if you’re busy. I just want to be the woman on your arm that night when you walk in, looking all handsome in your suit,” she says in a sing-song voice. A cringe starts to creep up.
“It won’t be that kind of party, Simone. You seriously may want to talk to one of the guys in town. I’m sure any of them would be more than happy to escort you.” I look at my watch. “Holy hell, would you look at the time? I need to get in there and check out the… uh… floors! But hey, there is Sid! I’m sure he’d love to give you some more quotes about the progress as of today.”
Before she can answer, I run into the stable and shut the door behind me. Parrish and my father look at me like I’m crazy.
“What’s wrong? Did you see a ghost?” my father asks without really look at me. He and Parrish are distracted by the extremely-expensive sliding stable doors, which they are staring at with matching levels of frustration.
I walk up to them and try to figure out what the problem is. “Nothing is wrong with me. What’s going on here? You both looked… pissed.”
Dad scowls at my choice of words, but Parrish just shakes her head. “They don’t fit. The keep sliding open on their own and I can see daylight through the edges. How the hell did this happen?” She kicks the wall and we all watch in frustration as the stable door slides open, just like she said.
I pull a tape measure out of my back pocket and check to see how much of a gap there is between the wall and the door. Then I measure the tilt of the frame. Everything is off. It’s only a few centimeters, but it’s enough to cause a big problem.
“Is it all of them? Or just this one?” I ask.
“All of them,” Parrish growls.
I sigh and rub my forehead. “Well, it’s not the doors. They are pre-measured by artisan craftsmen. But the only way that I can confirm that the frame of the walls is off is by having them pull out the doors.”
Parrish stalks off in the direction of Sid and his guys with a look on her face that says she is ready to scream. Dad just shakes his head. “You know, before we started this project, I thought she was tough. But running this build has turned her into a stone-cold killer. I pity those boys.”
And within seconds, we hear not Parrish yelling, but Sid furiously apologizing. Parrish’s voice has barely raised above a whisper, but Sid looks like he has seen a ghost, and like he might puke, simultaneously. Before Dad or I can register what is going on, Sid and all of the guys that work for him are outside of the stable, working double-time to pull out the doors so I can take the measurements. I’m actually flinching as I confirm that it’s the frame of the stable that is off, and not the doors. I turn around to tell Parrish, but I can tell that she already knows, because her eyes are flaming.
“How. Do. We. Fix. It?” Each word almost sounds like a treat. I can see Sid pacing nervously behind me.
“It’s fine. Seriously. We can add to and reinforce the frame, then reset the stable doors and reinforce them. In fact, Sid doesn’t even have to do it. I can do it. It’s really basic stuff, so they can keep working on the finishing touches on the rest of the stable, and I can cover this. All they have to do is pull the doors for me so I can work on it.”
Parrish’s face visibly relaxes, but she shoots Sid a scowl for good measure. “Are you sure? You don’t have anything else you need to be doing?”
I shrug. “I mean, you can help me if you want to. I wouldn’t say no.”
Parrish laughs and looks at her phone. “So, I’m a builder now too? Fine, I’ll help. But I only have a few hours before I have to pick up Gracie.”
I nod and call over to Sid. “Okay, fellas. You get moving on finishing the interior stall doors. Dad, you check in with the electrician about the floors and make sure everything is running there. Parrish and I will start fixing the frames. And where the hell is Anna? She could be doing something, couldn’t she?”
Sid clears his throat nervously and looks down at his feet. “I think she’s still asleep. We were out, um, late last night.” Parrish chuckles, and my father and I shoot Sid twin withering glares. I pull my phone out.
“Well, Sid, I guess I will just have to call her and wake her up. Maybe you should get to work, Sid.” My tone is obvious and he runs off. Privately, I’m enjoying having so much power over a guy that was older than me when we were in school and was kind of a jerk. But Parrish pokes me in the side.
“You can give him shit for messing up the build, but don’t hassle him about Anna. They really like each other, and if you scare him off, Anna is going to murder you in your sleep.”
I scowl. “Fine. But I’m not apologizing. Let him be scared for a while.”
Parrish rolls her eyes. “Fine. But you can deal with your sister when she finds out you’ve been hassling him. Now, can we get started on this damn frame?”
It takes all day, especially once Parrish has to leave to get Gracie and I’m left to work on my own, but by the end of the evening, we’re finally able to rehang the exterior stable doors, and this time, they fit. Dad confirmed that the heated floors are working properly, and all of the interior stalls have been finished. All that is left is for the landscapers to come in and finish their work, and they promised they would be done in a day. That means the project is all but finished, which means it’s almost time for me to go home, back to Los Angeles.
And I can’t bring myself to even think about it.
I walk out of the stalls and over to the house, where I can already see my mother through the windows, nervously flitting around the living room. She’s been in a total panic over the party, and now that it’s only a few days away, she’s even more of a wreck. I take a deep breath and walk inside, and hear Anna trying to calm our mother down.
“Ma, the caterer is booked, the party planner has all of the tents ready, and the band is set. I don’t know what you are worried about,” Anna says with a sigh.
“Did we make the right decision with a fish fry? Should we have gone with burgers? Or fried chicken? I just don’t know.”
I saunter into the living room and p
lop down next to Anna. “Fish is fun. Anyone can do burgers or chicken. You want something unusual that people will remember. This is coming from Judy’s though, right? You ordered that amazing chocolate cake, right?”
Mom rolls her eyes. “Have we ever used anyone but Judy’s for our events? And of course I ordered the cake. You’re here. I ordered the cake. Honestly, Hawk.”
Anna groans and flops her head backwards on to the couch. “Mom, take a pill or something. You’re stressing me out.”
I look around and notice that except for mom’s chattering, the house is really quiet. “Where are Parrish and Gracie?”
Anna doesn’t look at me; she just keeps staring at the ceiling. “She took Gracie to buy a dress for the party. I think they’ll be back in time for dinner. Speaking of,” Anna says finally looking up, with a teasing smile on her face.
“What?” I ask, confused.
“Jason told Frank who told Sid who told me that he heard the reporter ask you to take her to the party.”
I squint my eyes and pop the side of my head with my palm, as if shaking something loose. “I don’t understand anything you just said, Anna.”
Anna chortles like a witch. “Simone asked you on a date. To the party specifically. And you tried to foist her off on one of the guys in town. Apparently, she’s been asking around to see if you have a girlfriend that no one knows about. She seems pretty intent on landing you before this whole thing is through.”
I moan and lean forward, dropping my head in my hands as I debate how I ended up in this situation. “You know, I’ve had my share of, I don’t know, whatever you want to call the women I’ve dated. And I’ve never had anyone pursue me like this. I woke up the other morning, and she’d slipped a note under my door.”