The light in Helen’s room went out. While he waited for a light to come from Letty’s window, he thought of the fear he saw in the child’s eyes when Letty told of her father’s visit. In a way she reminded him of Letty at that age—quiet and cowed. Jacob had told him how they came to have Helen. According to the doctor, Jacob said, Weaver had been mean to his family. Was it just the switch or the strop the child feared or something more terrifying to a little girl? Mike had heard of fathers doing unspeakable things to their children. At the thought of the little girl being used in such a manner, his hands knotted into fists.
The squeak of the screen door was unusually loud in the quiet night. In the darkness, he saw Letty come out onto the back porch. Slowly, he let his chair come down on the two front legs. Was she on her way to the outhouse or—? He swallowed hard, his eyes glued to her shadowy form. When she stepped off the porch and came toward the barn, he felt his knees go weak. She was coming to him. Oh, Lord, he’d better not make too much of it yet. She might he coming to tell him that she wanted him to leave. No, it couldn’t be that. Lately she had been more accepting of his presence.
She came toward him, her skirt swaying gently against her calves. If he opened his arms, would she run to him as she had done when he waited for her beneath the willows? No, of course not, you fool. Stop living in the past, he cautioned himself. It seemed forever before she reached the place where he stood. She stopped several yards away.
“It’s a nice evening.” Damn his heart for beating so fast and making him feel like a callow youth.
“Yes, it is,” she said in a whisper of breath. “Were you going to stay out a while longer?”
“Yes, I don’t go to bed until the—” Dear Lord, what was the matter with his runaway tongue?
“Until what?”
“Until the lights go out in the house,” he confessed in a burst of honesty.
“I’ll have to remember that.” She laughed nervously.
He was bare from the waist up. His head tilted to the side. Letty could feel his eyes on her face. She waited for him to say something. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, could scarcely breathe. She was here, he was here. They were alone. Her thoughts were so muddled that she couldn’t remember what she had come to talk to him about.
“Would you like to walk a little?” His words came out slowly and fell into the quiet pool of silence.
She nodded, then, “Aren’t you cold?”
“No. I’ve been to the creek. Now that’s cold.”
“I don’t know how you can stand getting in that cold water.”
He picked his towel up off the chair and rubbed at the inky black curls that covered his head. As he moved out into the moonlight, she realized his chest was furred with soft black hair.
“I remember—” The words came out before she could bite them back.
“Remember what?” He hung the wet towel on the back of the chair. When she didn’t answer, he repeated, “Remember what?”
“Oh . . . nothing. You’ll laugh.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“I was going to say that I remember when you had only two hairs on your chest and—”
“—And you threatened to pull one of them,” he added softly.
“I did pull one of them.” Light, spontaneous laughter burst from her lips. “Because you said . . . you said—”
“I know what I said.” He held onto the back of the chair to keep his hands from reaching for her. “I said your breasts were like two fried eggs.”
“I remember.”
“You almost cried and I hated myself,” he said softly.
She turned away, walked out of the shadow of the barn and into the moonlight. Panic rose in his throat. Was she going back to the house? Had what he said been too intimate? A few quick steps brought him up beside her.
“Would you rather sit on the porch?”
“No. I’d rather walk, but shouldn’t you put on a shirt?”
“Not unless it makes you uncomfortable—”
She laughed again. “Why should it make me uncomfortable? It’s you who’ll have goose bumps.”
They reached the road and turned toward the Watkins farm before he spoke. “I was afraid that if I went in to get a shirt you’d not be there when I came out.”
She made no comment.
As they walked on, Mike reached for her hand, holding it lightly to give her the chance to withdraw it. When she didn’t, he drew it up into the crook of his arm, holding the back of her hand tightly pressed to his bare side. He wondered if she could feel the wild tattoo of his pulse.
Letty felt the hammering of a pulse, but she didn’t know if it was his or hers. His flesh was warm; the palm that covered her fingers in the crook of his arm was callused.
“I wanted to ask your advice about what to do about Helen,” she said without looking at him.
“You didn’t tell it all at the supper table, did you?”
“No. I don’t want Helen to know what her father said to me before he left. He’s a good-for-nothing reprobate! And he’s determined to take Helen home. I don’t know what to do.”
“Did he insult you?” Mike asked, his voice laced with quiet fury.
“No. He accused me of keeping her here to work and to get the five dollars a month the state pays for her keep. Mike, I spent every cent of that money on clothes for Helen.”
“You don’t need to explain, sweetheart. Goddamn! I wish I’d been there.”
“Doctor Hakes says we must go through legal channels and get custody of Helen. There’s a woman down at the Capitol in charge of things such as this. Wallace said she comes down real hard on parents who mistreat their children. I’d go into town and ask him to write to her, but I’m afraid to leave Helen here and I’m afraid to take her with me.”
“Go talk to the doctor. It’ll be a good excuse for Jacob to stay at the house tomorrow. He’s concerned for the girl too.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Don’t get your hopes up, Letty. It’s hard to get the law to take a child from its natural parent.”
“That’s what Wallace said.”
“Wallace Hakes, the doctor?” Apprehension washed over him at the familiar way she used the doctor’s name.
“Doctor Hakes is a good friend—and has been for a long time.”
“Letty.” He stopped, turned, and looked down into her upturned face. “I may be wrong, but it seems to me that Helen is unusually terrified of her pa. It could be that she’s afraid of something more than a beating.”
“Before he went to jail, he made her do all the housework—washing, cooking—”
“That’s not what I mean.” His hands moved to her shoulders and down over her arms.
“Then what do you mean?”
“Thank God you’ve been sheltered here on the farm. There’s a sordid side of life out there, sweetheart, that you don’t know about. Have you ever heard of . . . incest?”
“That means . . . that means— No!”
“I’m not saying it’s true. But there’s a reason for the blank stare each and every time her pa is mentioned. It’s almost as if she puts herself in a trance so that she doesn’t have to think about something.”
“Oh, Mike! I noticed that too. Tonight she was sucking her thumb.”
“Poor little tyke.”
“What’ll we do?” Letty whispered.
Mike pulled her gently toward him until her forehead rested on his breastbone. “Go to Doctor Hakes and tell him of our suspicion. He can tell if she’s been violated.”
“I don’t know if I could put her through that.” She rolled her head back and forth.
“It may be the only way you can keep her from going back to him.”
“The . . . monster! I could kill him.” The palms against his chest knotted into fists. She leaned back to look into Mike’s face.
“Wait a minute, honey. We’re not sure.”
“I’m almost . . . sure, Mike. Oh, I’m a
lmost sure now that I think about it. I . . . I wondered why she’d never let me button her drawers. And . . . when I tried to measure above her knees to put a band on the new ones I was making, she backed away when I lifted her skirt.”
“Don’t think about it. As long as she’s here with us he can’t get to her. We’ll think of something, do something—”
They stood silently for a moment. Then with her head bowed, she whispered, “I’m glad you’re here.”
“So am I. Dear God, I’ve missed you.” He gently pulled her closer until her breasts were pressed to his naked chest. His arms were around her, her palms lay flat against his sides, then slowly moved around to meet in the small of his back. “Letty, Letty,” he groaned, his words muffled in her hair. “This is where you belong.”
CHAPTER
16
Letty felt as weak as a baby.
Mike held her against his solid naked chest, cuddling her to him, rocking her, stroking her hair, whispering to her.
“I’ve been so lonely. So damn . . . lonely.” His voice broke. “Long ago, sweetheart, you took over my heart, leaving no room for anyone else.”
There was a long moment of silence, dominated by the pounding of their hearts. It didn’t matter to Letty that he was drawing away her strength, because he had enough for both of them. A thin thread of panic ran through her. She was getting in too deeply, too fast. A tiny moan trembled from her throat.
“My love, my love, let me . . . hold you—”
“We . . . should talk—”
“I’ve waited so long. Letty? Let me,” he whispered with his mouth to her cheek.
His breath was warm on her skin. She felt the elusive caress of his tongue. His arms tightened and his lips moved across her cheek hungrily seeking her mouth. They were warm and soft yet firm and insistent. A stubble of beard scraped her chin as his mouth settled over hers.
He didn’t just kiss her; he made love to her mouth, stroking, nibbling, coaxing with light sweet kisses. He backed away slightly to let her take a breath, then he recaptured her mouth again as if it were cool, sweet water and he was a man dying of thirst.
This time the kiss caught her breath and conquered her desire to deny him. They strained together, hearts beating wildly, and kissed as if it were their last moment on earth and their last to be together. His hands roamed from her shoulders to her hips, pressing her to him, seeking closer contact. He trembled and the kiss became deeper. A ribbon of desire unfurled inside Letty. Her body was flooded with the longing that had lapped at her senses for days.
A warm tide of tingling excitement washed over her as she became aware of the rock-hard part of him pressed against her belly. His sex was large, firm, and throbbing; hers ached with need. Her hands found their way up the corded muscles of his back to press him closer. When his tongue flirted with the corner of her mouth, her pleasure was so intense that it robbed her of strength, of sense and the very power of motion, and her mind whirled giddily.
He released her mouth to take a gasping breath. She turned her face away from him and buried it in his bare shoulder, unaware that her hand was stroking his big upper arm.
“We . . . shouldn’t—” she gasped.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’ll stop if you want me to.” His voice was husky, and rawly disturbed, like his deep, quivering breaths.
“I don’t want . . . you to.”
His heart was drumming so hard he could hardly breathe; he was too stunned with happiness to utter another word.
Mike knew he must go slowly or he would frighten her away, and he fought to keep his arms gentle and his lips from ravaging hers. With utmost tenderness and caution he held her, reveling in the softness of her breasts, her belly, and her curving hips.
Letty stirred and gently released herself from his hold. For an instant he feared her sweet surrender was all a dream. She looked up at him, her eyes huge and melting.
“We’re standing in the middle of the road,” she said with a little laugh so soundless that it was no more than an exhalation of breath.
He laughed with pure happiness. “So we are.”
“Your head is wet.” She forked her fingers through the curls dangling on his forehead, then moved her palm over his shoulder and down his arm to his hand, then up again. “You’re cold. You’ve got goose bumps.”
“Right now I could be standing in a block of ice and not feel a thing.” He took both her hands. His eyes feasted on her face. Hungrily, they inspected every detail. “I love you,” he said simply.
Neither of them spoke for what seemed an eternity. The tears that filled her eyes made them gleam like twin stars.
“Thank you.” The words trembled from her quivering lips.
Mike blinked and stared down into her face. “For what?”
“For loving me. Only Grandpa and Patrick—”
“Yes, they love you. But not as I do. I love you as a man loves his mate, the other part of himself. You are my life, my soul. Not for a moment did I forget the vows we made beneath the willows. I thought I’d lose my mind when I heard that you had died.”
“It hurts to know Mama cut me so completely out of her life. I could never turn my back on Patrick . . . no matter what he did.”
“Nor could I. We’ll be married and raise our son together.”
“I don’t know. I’ve got to think—”
“Letty! You love me. Say you do.” His face was tilted down toward her and she could see the anguish in his eyes.
She swallowed drily, feeling the frantic clamor of her throbbing pulse. She started to move away, but his hands on her shoulders stopped her.
“I was so young. You were my whole world . . . back then. Papa threw me out of the house when I was fifteen because I was pregnant. I had Patrick when I was sixteen. Grandma died several weeks before he was born. It’s just been me, Grandpa, and Patrick. I cut you out of my heart, Mike . . . or thought I had. Now you’re back and I can feel my safe world crumbling about me,” she whispered with tears in her voice.
He gathered her to him, urging her with gentle hands. He was trembling. She could feel the tremor in the body pressed to hers.
“Sweetheart, I’ll never do anything to hurt you. Don’t ask me to leave. I can’t. I just . . . can’t—”
“I won’t ask you to leave as long as Grandpa wants you here. And . . . Patrick loves you—”
“And you? You loved me once—” he whispered in her ear.
She was silent. Her face against his neck. Go slowly, he warned his leaping heart. Did he really want to know? Mike felt the tears gathering in a knot in his throat while he waited for her answer.
“I’ll always love you.” He heard her voice quiver and felt the movement of her cheek against his naked flesh as she raised her face.
His relief was so profound that he thought his whole being would dissolve, that his heart would cease its beating. Too moved to form words, he could only kiss her lips, again and again, realizing that only her physical warmth pressed close to his own quivering body could convince him that this was not just a dream.
Then he laughed, intimately, joyously, and lifted her off her feet, and swung her around. The full moon shone on her laughing face.
“Mike . . . Mike, put me down!”
“Say it again. Sweetheart, say it.”
“I love you.” The whispered words came soft and sweet against his lips.
Their lips caught and clung, released and smiled, and caught again. Their kisses spoke not of passion, but of newly rekindled love. He laughed and hugged her tighter.
“And I love you, love you, love you . . .” The words trailed as his lips moved down her smooth cheeks to lips that waited, warm and eager.
Finally, she squirmed and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. Her fingers combed through the mat of hair on his chest; her lips turned into the hollow of his throat.
“I feel like fifteen again,” she confessed huskily.
“Me, too. Oh, God, honey, I’m so sorry for all the los
t years.”
“What’ll we do? How can we make it right?”
“We won’t think about it now. I just want to look at you and hold you,” he whispered and feathered kisses on her forehead.
Standing there in the middle of the road, Mike would have held her all night long. It was Letty who pulled away and started walking back toward the house. He matched his steps to her shorter ones. Her arm encircled his waist, his held her snugly against his side. They stopped often to exchange quick sweet kisses before moving on.
Mike picked a blossom from the lilac bush that grew beside the back porch and tickled her nose with it.
“There’s so much we need to talk about. Patrick? Grandpa? I can’t let Grandpa be made a laughingstock.” Letty was slowly coming out of her daze of happiness and into reality.
“Sweetheart, don’t worry about Jacob. He practically invited me to stay. He wants us to be together but only if it’s what you want. He said if you didn’t want me I’d be high-tailing it out of here ahead of a shotgun.” Mike chuckled. “He’d do it too.”
“He knew right away who you were.”
“I feel like a king just knowing you still love me. We’ll work something out so that you and Patrick will never feel shamed. Dear God! None of it was your fault. If only I had gotten your letter. If only I had come here that spring. There are a million ifs. But we’ve got to look to the future and not back. I love you so much. You’ve given me . . . the world.”
So much tenderness was in the look he gave her and in the timbre of his voice that Letty blinked back the tears and smiled at him. Her fingers stroked his cheeks, feeling the rough drag of his whiskers. She became braver and trailed her fingertips up through his hair and down around his ears. He remained still, his eyes devouring her.
Ribbon in the Sky Page 20