by Jamie Hill
"Uh, yeah, hi Geege, it's…dad," he hesitated before he spoke the word, and hated himself for it. No, he hated Natalie for it. This is her fault. "Mom's planning the birthday thing for Matt on Sunday. He's rowing Saturday, so it has to be Sunday…Mom's not too thrilled about it…" I'm rambling. "Anyway, we want to make sure you'll be there." He paused then added, "Gigi, I know you're upset with Mom and me right now, and I hate the way we left things between us, but this is about Matt. If you don't come for his birthday, the boys will know something is up. And the last thing we need is either of the boys finding out about this. This needs to stay between you, me and Mom." It should have stayed between me and Mom, dammit. "Call me back and let me know you're coming, or call Mom if you'd rather. We, uh, love you, Geege. I love you. I hope we'll see you Sunday. Bye." He hung up and rested his head on his desk. I used to be such a together guy. When did I turn into this blubbering idiot?
He knew exactly when. The minute the nurse had placed the tiny squirming infant with the little pink cap in his arms, and said, "There you go, Papa!" That's when.
* * *
On Sunday morning, Natalie was in no mood for a celebration. She hadn't talked to any of her kids all week, unless she counted a couple rounds of answering machine tag with Matthew and then again with David. Personally, she did not count them as conversations, and she was peeved. They could have tried harder to call her back. It wasn't as if she were out of the house that much.
She had no idea if Gigi would show up, or what her daughter's temperament would be like if she did. No idea when Alex would show up, and whether he would stay, or leave again. She began preparing lunch as usual, homemade beef and noodles, Matthew's favorite, but she was irritated and there was no joy in it. She'd baked his favorite German Chocolate cake in the same manner. Just do it, and get it over with.
She hung up a few balloons but her heart wasn't in that, either. When Alex walked through the door she shot him a look that could kill. "It's about time you got here! I'm trying to throw all this crap together by myself and it's turning out horribly! I hate this! I hate feeling like this!" Angry tears swamped her face.
"I hate it, too!" He yelled at her. "Do you think I like feeling this way? It sucks, it totally sucks! And then I see you, and listen to you, and God, Natalie, you're turning into such a shrew!"
"A shrew?" she screeched and stepped into his face. "How dare you come in here—" her rant was cut off by the press of his mouth against hers.
He shoved her up against the wall and kissed her harder still.
"I'm so angry with you," she murmured as she fumbled for his shirt buttons.
"I'm pissed as hell at you." He yanked her sweater over her head and tossed it in the air.
"The bedroom." She fumbled with his belt.
He walked her backward down the hall, unfastening her bra. He caught one nipple between his lips before he looked up and said, "This doesn't change anything."
"I know." She pressed her hand against the back of his head, urging him not to stop, and dragged him into the bedroom. She kicked the door shut, and they fell onto the bed.
Alex opened the bedroom door a short while later and moved down the hall furtively to the family room. He wasn't sure if anyone else was there, but he did know he felt one hell of a lot better than he had when he'd arrived home.
"Looking for this?" David held up his mother's sweater.
"Or this?" Gigi offered up the bra.
Matthew crossed his arms over his chest and gave his father a stern look. "My beef and noodles were burning."
Alex rubbed a hand over his face in embarrassment. He snatched the clothing away from the kids. "Your mother will be out in a minute." He started back to the bedroom.
"Make sure she's dressed!" Matt teased. "I'm traumatized enough as it is!"
"No kidding," Alex heard Dave say. "Who wants to think of their parents doing that?"
"Especially starting in here and ending up in there!" Matt added, and the boys cracked up with laughter.
Dave said, "I guess we can be thankful they went in there. We could have walked in and caught them out here…"
"Shut up!" Alex called down the hallway, and the voices died off into snickers. Two voices. Gigi hadn't joined in the teasing.
He tossed the clothing to Natalie. "We are so busted. Put on your game face, kiddo, because the minute you walk out there you're in for some razzing."
She fastened her bra, adjusted her sweater and smiled at Alex. "Strangely enough, my mood has improved. I think I'll be able to handle it."
He fisted his hand in the back of her hair and pulled her face to him gently for a kiss. "My mood has improved, too. But nothing has changed."
"I know." She traced a finger around his lips. "But if we still have that…" she nodded toward their bed, "then we have everything. We'll figure this out. I know we will."
He kissed her one last time and she opened her mouth to his. He didn't want to let her go. As long as we stay like this, things are fine.
The kiss aroused him again, and as much as he hated to, he pulled away. "Matt said the beef and noodles were burning."
"Damn!" She marched out to the kitchen.
"Hello, Mother." Matt waved a wooden spoon at her. "Forget something?"
"Yeah, to have the locks on the doors changed. I finally got rid of all you ingrates, and you keep showing up again!"
The kitchen erupted into laughter, and Alex sighed. All's right with the world again, for the time being, at least.
* * *
"Somehow, you managed to pull off a wonderful meal, Mother." Matt held out his plate and smiled at her. "Which is surprising, seeing as how your mind wasn't on it."
Natalie tried to give him an irritated look, but he flashed his devilish grin. That, he got from his father. The curly blond hair and dimples, which always made her think of one of Raphael's angels, were a mystery. She had a handsome family, no doubt, but Matthew had a cute factor going for him that none of the others seemed to possess.
"Guess I didn't burn it too badly," she replied snidely as she passed him the bowl.
"Good thing I arrived when I did," Matt corrected her, and served himself.
"If you'd have taken my phone calls, there wouldn't have been any guessing." Natalie looked at him and at his brother. "Both of you. I don't appreciate being blown off, and having to wonder who's showing up when." She glanced at Gigi, but her daughter didn't look up from her plate.
Matt laughed. "You knew I'd show up for my birthday, Mother."
She eyed him. "Your birthday was yesterday."
He winced, and Dave laughed. "She shoots, she scores! For those of you keeping track, the score is now Guilt-inducing mother, two points; Guilty-but happily hung over birthday boy, zero."
She squinted and looked into Matt's eyes. "Are you hung over? You're only twenty, you shouldn't have been drinking."
Matt slapped his brother's chest with the back of his hand. "Thanks, man."
Alex sipped his iced tea. "We knew you'd show up eventually, if for no other reason than to pick up your iPod."
"Alex!" Natalie made a face at him.
He gazed at her innocently. "It was the only thing he asked for, dear. He had to know we were getting it."
"Woo hoo!" Matt hollered. "Thanks, Dad! Thanks, Mom!"
Natalie shot Alex another dirty look and muttered, "You haven't gotten it, yet."
Dave turned to his sister. "You sure are quiet today. New job stressing you out? It must be tough to come up with catchy jingles for Shoe World all day long."
Gigi made a face at him. "For your information, Shoe World is not my account. I get to come up with catchy jingles for Fish & Fowl, the new pet store in the mall."
"A pet store?" Dave laughed uproariously, and Matt joined him.
Natalie sat back and watched the show. Her boys had always ganged up on their older sister, but Gigi never had a problem holding her own. She was a tough cookie. Beautiful, too, almost exotic-looking. Her black hair was da
rker than anyone else's, and she had deep, dark eyes that hinted at something unusual in her background. If Gigi had ever wondered about it, she'd never done it vocally to her parents. They certainly had never talked about it with her, or each other. Gigi was their daughter, regardless.
David was the one who looked most like his father, Natalie always thought. His hair was dark and he wore it like the young men did today, short and spiky. He usually needed a shave, which was also a trademark of twenty-first century man thus far. Other than that, he was Alex. His facial features, his build, his easy smile and sense of humor were one hundred percent his father. Sometimes when she glanced at him quickly, she was reminded of Alex back then, pulling an all-nighter studying for finals, his face scruffy and his smile beautiful. Finals' week had been one of the rare times Alex could have been caught unshaven. The rest of the time he'd been scrupulously neat. Not such a bad thing, it forced me to be neat, too. They balanced each other.
She tuned back in to the conversation and found the boys were still giving Gigi a hard time about her job.
Matt showed no mercy. "Let's see, your ad could have a talking dog, no, done that. How about a gecko? No, already been done. A fish! That's it, a talking fish!"
Natalie looked at him. "Enough already. So, how was your regatta yesterday?"
"It was great! We took first in eight-man and second in the four-man head race."
"Good job," Alex said. "I'll bet Grandpa was going nuts."
Matt grinned. "He totally was. The guys think he's so cool."
Gigi got a funny look on her face and turned to her mother. "Grandpa?"
"Yes." Natalie looked at her. "They went to Wichita and watched Matthew row."
"Excuse me." Gigi threw her napkin on the table and ran from the room.
"Well, gee." Matt watched her go. "She could have come if she wanted to. I didn't think she liked to watch me row that much."
Natalie sighed. "I don't think that's it, honey. Your sister hasn't been feeling the best this week. Maybe you guys can cut her some slack." She looked at Alex and nodded her head toward the door Gigi had run through.
His eyes widened and he shook his head. He nodded toward Natalie.
She shook her head and made a face at him. Finally, after they'd stared at each other for a full minute, she stood up. "I'll just go check on her. Excuse me." She shot Alex one more dirty look before she left the room.
Natalie stood at the bathroom door. "Gigi, open up."
Gigi opened the door and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "Grandma and Grandpa!" she moaned softly. "Only they're really not."
"Of course they are. Don't be ridiculous. Now dry your eyes and get back out there for your brother. We need to have cake and presents."
Gigi grabbed her arm. "Do they know? Grandma and Grandpa…do they know about me?"
Natalie didn't know how to answer. Of course they knew, but they'd been sworn to secrecy. Does Gigi need to know that? Wouldn't that be just one more thing to deal with? She needed to talk to Alex. "Gigi, now is not the time for this discussion. Stay after your brothers are gone, and you can talk with me and Dad some more."
"I'm not sure I want to."
"Tough. Now plaster a smile on your face and come on." Natalie returned to the dining room. "Who's ready for cake?"
They had cake, ice cream and presents. The first chance Natalie got, she dragged Alex into the kitchen. "Gigi's curious if Grandma and Grandpa know."
"Oh, Jesus." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Do we really have to get into all that?"
"I'd rather not. I don't want her asking anybody questions other than you or me." They looked at each other for a moment. Natalie realized they both had the same thought at the same time.
"Then you'd better call your sister and fill her in. You know how close Gigi is to Aunt Dean, and you know how straightforward Nadine is about everything. If Gigi asks her a question, Dean won't lie."
Natalie rubbed her eyes and nodded. She was suddenly very tired.
"You'd better call Dean tonight, after we're gone."
She looked at him. "You're leaving again?"
Alex sighed. "Nat, I told you what happened today didn't change anything."
"I know what you told me," she snapped. "But you've told me a lot of things over the years, you son-of-a-bitch."
* * *
The family spent the afternoon lounging around watching football and fiddling with Matt's new iPod. Alex thought it would normally have been a pretty relaxing day, but today there was an undercurrent of tension running through the room. He was amazed the boys didn't pick up on it. They were as comfortable and relaxed as ever. He made an effort to talk, as did Nat. Only Gigi didn't say much, but she was there, and that was a start.
Jake was in heaven, unsure about whose feet he should be lying next to since all his kids were home again. He made his rounds in the family room, soaking up attention from whomever he could.
"Hey, Mom," Dave called from the sofa. "I thought of a couple CDs to add to my Christmas list."
"Write them down," Natalie replied, leafing through a catalog.
"Better be something she can order online," Matt told his brother.
"Or from a catalog," Dave agreed, grinning.
Gigi looked up from her magazine. "That's right, our mother, the Queen of Ordering In. Anything to keep her from actually having to set foot in a store around Christmas time."
Gigi didn't have trouble chiming in when the teasing was aimed at her mother, Alex thought wryly.
Natalie didn't look up from her catalog. "I've done all right by you guys at Christmas—don't try to tell me I haven't."
"There was that one year we all got t-shirts from that weird catalog." Dave laughed, remembering. "Mine said, 'Who are you and why are you reading my t-shirt?'"
Matt laughed with him. "Mine said, 'Obey gravity, it's the law'. Those were so lame, mom."
Natalie chuckled. "Actually, I liked them. There were so many I wanted to order for myself. 'Life's too short to cook for you people' or "Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.'"
Alex grinned at that one. He'd got a lame t-shirt that year, too. He couldn't even remember what it had said. But Natalie had done all right by the family at Christmas, all things considered. He was proud of her. Whenever there was something that had to be purchased locally, he did it. That was about the extent of the help he provided her.
"Seriously, Mother, my friends think it's totally strange that you do all your shopping online." Gigi gave her mother an irritated look, as if it really mattered somehow.
Natalie continued to flip the pages of her catalog without looking up. "I tell you every year—I don't like crowds."
Gigi frowned. "You didn't seem to mind the crowds when Daddy took you to the Toby Keith concert."
Natalie raised her eyes over her catalog at Alex. Gigi let the word 'Daddy' roll off her tongue without hesitating over it. Alex had noticed it, and he smiled back at his wife.
She gave Gigi an exaggerated wink. "Well, that was Toby Keith."
Alex chuckled, and Matt shook his head. "He's such a traitor. Did you know he stood on the Oklahoma sidelines when K-State played them for the Big 12 Championship?"
Natalie made a shocked face. "No! I just know he puts out really good CDs, and he's got a new one…hint, hint."
"So the three of you can fight over that Christmas idea," Alex told them.
"Really, Mother," Gigi wouldn't let the subject drop. "Did you know some stores are open twenty-four hours, so people can shop all night long? I bet there wouldn't be crowds then."
Dave laughed. "Oh yeah! I bet there would be some real interesting people shopping in the middle of the night, too."
"Oh yeah," Natalie repeated, and looked at her husband. "Remind me to set the alarm for three a.m., so I can get up and go shop."
"Right." He nodded.
Gigi huffed. "I just meant—"
"Enough," Alex spoke up. Natalie was a good s
port, but this was a touchy subject. "Quit giving your mother crap about Christmas shopping or she might turn the whole mess over to me—and then you'll be really sorry."
"Whatever!" Gigi stood up. "I need to go."
Natalie looked at her. "I don't think so."
"Yes, I do." Gigi crossed her arms.
Alex tossed the sports section of the paper on the end table and stood up. "Gillian, I think you can stay a few minutes to talk to your mother and me."
She tried to give him a dirty look but didn't seem to be able to, and dropped back onto her chair.
Dave dragged himself off the sofa and stood up. "I guess that's our cue to take off, little brother. Gather your stuff and I'll drop you back at the dorm." He tugged Gigi's bangs. "And whatever you did, well, see ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!"
"Bite me," Gigi retorted, and then she had to squirm away as Dave and Matt each converged on her neck from either side. "Stop!" she squealed.
"You invited," Dave told her.
"Ve vant to suck your blood!" Matt gave her his best Dracula accent.
"Dad!" she squealed again.
Alex cheerfully stepped in. "Get out of here, you two." He grabbed the boys by the backs of their collars. "Take the rest of that cake, I certainly don't need it," he told Matt. And to Dave he said, "Thanksgiving, a week and a half. Be there or be square."
Natalie gave the boys hugs and kisses, and they left. She stood at the doorway with Alex, watching the kids drive off, and stalling re-entry to the family room. He knew she was dreading it as much as he was.
"Come on." He put his hand on her back. "Let's get this over with."
"I wonder if this is ever going to be over with?" she mused as they returned to Gigi.
"We need to talk," Alex told their daughter.
"But first," Natalie chimed in, "did you get in with that specialist?"
Gigi rolled her eyes. "Oh, hell no. He can't even see me until mid-December."
"At least you have an appointment," Natalie confirmed.