by Coralee June
I considered the options before me. I knew that the Black Family would allow me the opportunity to choose what I wanted. For my entire life, I’d wanted Josiah to pick me. To show the world that I wasn’t someone he hid in the shadows of his home, but someone he was willing to go to hell and back for.
But, now that I had his full attention, it felt wrong. Bravely, I stood up and looked around the room. I locked eyes with each of them, gathering whatever strength I could. Lastly, my eyes landed on Huxley. He nodded a bit, and I took that as encouragement to say what I needed to say.
“I would hate for it to be an unfair trade. Until better arrangements can be made, I suggest that Jules travel back with you. This could be an opportunity for you both to reconsider the engagement and for us to find an equal opportunity to revise the contract. The resources in the Dormas providence are quite impressive, and I’m sure we can come to some agreement.” I borrowed the arrogance that Mistress Stonewell used daily and forced myself to sound reasonable during my speech. I expected Josiah to scowl, but instead, I was rewarded with a small smile. Maybe the old Josiah was still somewhere in there. “I see,” was all he said.
“Well, I guess Jules and I will need to pack for our trip. We will put a hold on all trade until a more suitable agreement can be made.” I looked over at Jules, and her mouth was hanging open in pure shock and rage. “But . . . but Cyler, surely I can stay?” she pleaded. “I’m sorry, Jules, you know how politics can be,” Jacob said with a smirk. He was practically bouncing with enthusiasm, and, apparently, happy with our little meeting.
Everyone made their way to the entryway. I watched as the Black family built a wall between Josiah, Jules, and I preventing them from speaking to me. Once outside, I pushed through to give Josiah one last hug. Regardless of my decision, I still cared for him in ways I didn’t quite understand. We had a toxic love, but there was love between us, nevertheless.
I heard Cyler practically growl when I pushed through their wall of bodies. I called after Josiah, and when he turned around, I cautiously put my arms out to hug him, not caring about my status or what anyone thought. He crushed my body to him, and I relished the warmth and familiarity of it. I knew deep in my soul that this wasn’t the end. I’d see Josiah again. “This isn’t over,” he whispered to me.
No, no it wasn’t.
Chapter 21
Josiah and his men left within the hour. The Black brothers wasted absolutely no time at all in getting rid of them. Something nagged at the back of my mind that this was too easy, but I assumed it was my natural disposition to be the skeptic.
Jacob spent the rest of the morning trying to cheer me up. He helped me bake the cake for the Solstice Festival, and occasionally the others would visit us in the kitchen to check on me. I was treated like a porcelain doll, and part of me was annoyed by it, but the other part, thankful. As always, Maverick was most perceptive to my heartbreak, and instead of trying to cheer me up, he corralled everyone out of the kitchen so that I could work alone and in silence. I had almost completed a four-tiered cake and was putting the finishing touches on it when Huxley and Patrick entered the kitchen.
Maverick didn’t immediately kick them out, so I wondered what they needed. Huxley plopped down at the kitchen table with a frown, but Patrick bounced up to me with a broad, flirtatious, grin.
“We got you something, beautiful.” His voice rang. I politely smiled, but the emotion didn’t fully reach my heart. Huxley pulled up a brown sack and threw it over at me carelessly, causing both Maverick and Patrick to frown at him. “Here. I don’t know if it’ll fit you, but you needed something nice for the festival,” he said with a shrug.
I opened the bag to find a long, olive-green dress made of thin material. It was strapless, and the top was cut in a heart-shape with the fabric gathered in ruffled bunches. The rest draped delicately down in a straight line. It was beautiful. Stunning. Way too nice for me.
“Oh, I can’t possibly–” I began. “Hush!” Patrick interrupted. “Don’t go back to being the martyr. You needed something nice, and we got it for you. Huxley even picked you out a nice necklace to match,” he said in a teasing tone.
I dug further into the bag and found a necklace draped loosely at the bottom. It was three cords of thick pearls braided together into a beautiful necklace. “Thank you” I whispered.
After thanking them again, Maverick ushered the twins out of the kitchen so that I could continue to be alone. The silence was comforting and allowed me to think about the decision I made and the repercussions that would follow. It was so strange to think how someone that was once my entire life had now become a stranger, someone that I could no longer be with. As the day ended, I convinced myself that this wasn’t a matter of me choosing my new family over Josiah. Ultimately, it came down to the freedom and friendliness of the Dormas providence. It was the opportunity to bake, to paint. To spend my free time how I please.
I decided that I loved myself more than I loved Josiah. I decided that I wasn’t willing to give up on the opportunity for happiness to have a lifetime of being with him. The fact that I got to spend time with my new family was merely a bonus. While I cleaned, Maverick got up from working on the computer and helped me wipe down the counters and dry the counters.
“Feeling better?” he asked. I nodded in response. “Thanks for knowing what I needed,” I said. “You're like me,” He began, “You like to process things alone. My brothers have good intentions, but they don’t understand.” Maverick grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked up at him and then leaned in for a hug, resting my head against his chest and listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. I felt his lips touch the top of my head, and I moved away before the affection led towards something more than brotherly.
The next day, I put the finishing touches on my cake and Patrick, and Kemper brought it to the bakery to be stored in their vast freezer before tonight. I felt proud of it and hoped that everyone would enjoy all the work I put into the large dessert.
Becca came over in the early afternoon to start getting ready. I didn’t feel like pampering would take that long, but I assumed her intentions were more focused on getting an eye-full of my roommates than on helping me get ready.
She gushed jealously at my dress, so I let her sift through the many dresses Jules left behind in her closet. I realized that many of the other women wouldn’t have nice dresses to wear, either, so I sent a trunk full of them to Kemper to be distributed at the Walker Dorms. I wanted everyone to feel beautiful.
She meticulously painted her face with the precision of a marksman. I watched her with careful trepidation. She was stunning without the stuff, but it added a sense of glamour to her appearance.
She put a fragrant oil in my hair to smooth my many curls and applied a light-black salve to my lashes to make them appear thicker. We both put a radish paste on our lips to give them a red hue. Hours had passed when she was finally done, and when I finally looked in the mirror, I was pleasantly surprised to see the girl staring back at me.
My green dress fit my figure perfectly. It clung to my curves and kissed the floor elegantly. I liked how it flowed when I moved. My ordinarily wild hair still maintained its shape but seemed tamer. My face looked the same, but my expression held hope that wasn’t there before. I felt beautiful. Worthy.
Becca picked a seductive, red dress that showed off her toned back and complimented her bright-blonde hair. I knew that the men in this town would be drooling over her. We didn’t speak much, mostly because we found early on that we didn’t have much in common, but the silence was comfortable and noncompetitive. Becca was a pleasant companion.
Everyone left early to set up for the festival, leaving me alone in the house. I contemplated not attending, last minute, since I wasn’t feeling in the mood to party. I still had this unsettling sensation that things were about to come to a head with Josiah.
Becca left long before I did, as she was eager to drink and dance with the handsome men that worked in the m
ines. She liked that men easily outnumbered women, and she felt desired. I stayed behind, counting the minutes until I knew that I had to make an appearance otherwise someone would come and drag me to the party.
While walking down the street lit by torches and candles, men and women around me talked loudly and flirted with one another. A few children ran up and down the road, chasing each other with sticks and bugs. It was a pleasant atmosphere, and I enjoyed the waves of happy energy that rolled off of everyone.
I eventually made it to the General Store where I checked on the cake to make sure it was ready to be enjoyed later. After spending more time than necessary touching up the icing here and there, I walked back outside where I bumped into a man that was walking backward while joking with his friends. He turned around and immediately started apologizing.
“Ah, lass, I’m sorry I hit ya” he exclaimed! “But, I can’t say I’m sad to have the opportunity to introduce myself; I’m Kindle.” He bowed respectfully, and I stretched out my hand in a polite greeting. He grasped it with sweaty palms and kissed it lightly, causing me to blush. “It is no problem at all, sir,” I coughed out.
A loud cough from behind me made Kindle's eyes widen, and he dropped my hand immediately while stepping backward away from me. I turned around to see what had him worried and was surprised to see Huxley towering over me and leering angrily at Kindle. “We’ve been looking all over for you,” he said to me. “Sorry, I wanted to check on the cake” I replied, but he gave me a look that said he knew that I was stalling from being at the festivities. “Come on; we’re all by the bonfire.” Huxley then turned around without waiting for me, and I followed him sheepishly. He pushed his way through the crowd while I apologized to those that stumbled in his wake. He was once again angry, and it was because of something I did.
“Did I do something to anger you again?” I yelled over the loud, folk music. A small band was playing outside, close to the bonfire, which made it hard to have a conversation. Huxley didn’t answer and continued walking. A man that was dancing pushed into me, causing me to fall. A light scream escaped my lips and Huxley whirled around to see what the cause of my distress was. The gentleman that created my fall immediately held his hand out to help me up and was profusely apologizing when Huxley slammed a flat palm into the center of his chest, pushing him backward and down on the sandy road.
“Watch the fuck where you’re going,” he growled. I stared openly at Huxley while he bent over and picked me up, in the process he pushed himself closer to me, causing my heart to race. “He didn’t mean to,” I squeaked. I felt Huxley tremble against me, and I tried to move away, but his arms locked around my middle, forcing me to stay put. “Just . . .,” he sighed while leaning in closer to my ear. “Just dance with me,” he demanded.
He began moving against me, not giving me the chance to say no or escape. It wasn’t like the formal dance I shared with Kemper or even the heart-thudding sensual one I had with Cyler. This dance was a hard struggle between two bodies fighting their attraction to one another. It was both a tense dance between strangers and a passionate collision between lovers. It was intense. It was terrifying. I rested my head against his chest while our hips moved together against the beat. Couples around us were also pushing against one another sensually in a way that made the entire dance downright exotic. A light tap on the shoulder immediately made me go rigid and distance myself from Huxley. Our eyes connected before I turned to see who was trying to get my attention, and he peered at me with heated eyes.
I turned to see Patrick smiling at both of us with a mischievous grin. “I think it’s my turn, brother,” he said. Huxley then dropped his hands from my waist like I was made of fire and immediately put distance between us. I was the plague, and he was a victim of all my destruction. Shame filled me, but before I could allow it to consume my thoughts, Patrick pulled me into a tight hug. “You look delicious, Ash” he murmured. Like Jacob, Patrick was playfully flirtatious, but tonight it took on a more intentional tone.
We danced to a few upbeat songs, and he showed me a few steps that the other members of the providence knew. As the night continued, many other villagers got increasingly drunk, which meant that the dancing got more suggestive and sloppy.
Soon, I followed Patrick to where the rest of the brothers were, and I sat in Jacob’s lap. They all each took turns to compliment my dress, and I felt increasingly fussed over. Being the center of their attention was addicting and intimidating.
It was difficult to talk over the loud music, but words weren’t necessary when I made eye contact with each of them. Maverick looked at me like I was a deep ocean that he wanted to swim in. He was a lighthouse in this crazy world, one that guided me and understood my path.
Kemper was tentative in his gaze. He looked at me like a man studying a painting, or a beautiful landscape. Like he wanted to commit every portion of it to memory.
Jacob’s smile reached his eyes and kissed my face with a kind and genuine appreciation. Like he couldn’t believe I was there.
Cyler’s gaze stripped me bare and left all the darkest parts of me open to him. He looked at me like he saw me for exactly who I was, and he stilled like every dark part.
Patrick absorbed every inch of my skin. He stole glances like a thief, and his heated looks made my stomach flutter. He
drank in my appearance. I was a river rushing wildly between us, and his eyes steadily flowed up and down my body.
Lastly, Huxley avoided looking at me. I stared openly, and even the others shook their heads at my apparent desperation. I needed to know that he saw me for who I was. For who I wanted to be for his family. But, not once, did his beautiful eyes graze mine. Despite knowing the affections I had for the others, I still felt empty by him.
After a few more songs, I decided that it was time for cake. If I waited any longer, the townsfolk would all be passed out from drunkenness. I volunteered Kemper and Jacob to assist me in bringing the cake out, so the three of us made our way over to the freezer at the General Store at the end of the street. It was much quieter there, as all the activity had moved to around the music and bonfire, but the three of us chatted with one another.
They had both had a little to drink, so their cheeks were pink and their eyes playful. We joked as we made our way in the store, mostly laughing at Cyler’s dancing with Maverick. Once inside, we made our way to the freezer, but an electrical clicking sound caused me to freeze. I whirled around to see both men collapsed on the ground and seizing in pain. I bent over, trying to figure out the source of their discomfort but a giant, hairy arm snaked around my middle and picked me up. The stranger forcibly began dragging me through the back door and away from the store. At first, I was too scared to react, but my survival instinct kicked in, and I began thrashing aimlessly, desperate to get free of this stranger. He slammed me against the freezer door and hit my face with his fist.
Soon, I was thrown into a transport and the door sealed shut behind me. A loud click indicated that the doors were locked, which meant I was trapped. I looked around frantically and kicked the seats until a familiar voice shocked me out of my terror.
“Calm down; they’re listening to everything you say.” I turned around to see a solemn Josiah observing me with a frown. “What-whats going on?” I asked. “As much as I hate to admit it, you were safer here. You were safer with them,” He said while thrusting a shaky hand through his hair. He sounded defeated, and it made me whimper,” The transport jolted as if something hit it, forcing me to fly out of my seat. “Where is Jules?” I asked.
“She’s currently moving her belongings back into the Black household, I’m sure,” he answered with a dismissive wave. “This is so much bigger than you can ever imagine. So much bigger than us,” Josiah said in a whisper while looking around the transport.
“What are you talking about?” I whispered.
“I understand, now, your need for a better life, Ash. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you get that. I tried
to keep you far away, but Cyler’s interest in you is problematic. They’re making me bring you back to Galla. They’re hoping to use you as a bargaining chip.”
“Who is making you, Josiah,” I asked in a whisper.
“Ah, you’ve always been my smart, little Walker; I just hope you don’t hate me when you learn the truth.” he ruffled my wild hair as though he were talking to a small child. “Here, have a drink. You must be parched after wrestling my guard out there.” His voice returned to a normal level and he gave me one of his Politician smiles. I tentatively took the cup from Josiah’s outstretched hand and took a sip. The water had a bitter taste.
“We are headed to the Capital and should be there in a few hours. Rest while you can, Ash.” He leaned in closer to me. I felt his bottom lip graze my earlobe and I sucked in a labored breath. “I leaked word to Cyler and his men of your disappearance. They’ll be on their way soon. I’ll save you from this Ash. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he whispered.
“Save me from what?” I asked. My voice was becoming hoarse and heavy.
“I’m going to save you from me.” Josiah said as darkness overtook me, and I fell into a deep, deep sleep.
Chapter 22
I woke in Josiah’s lap. The interior of the transport felt unfamiliar, and my mouth flooded with a metallic taste that made me nauseous. I felt disconnected from my surroundings and unsure of where I was.
“Oh good, you’re awake.” he murmured while petting me softly. Weeks ago, I would have reveled in the idea of waking up in Josiah’s arm, but everything felt wrong, just so, so wrong. “What did you do to me?” I asked while sitting up and stretching. His eyes followed my movements hungrily, and I pushed myself as far away from him as I could and smashed my body against the door of the transport.