by B. B. Hamel
I let out a long breath. I knew he had issues with Gina, but I didn’t think she was actively against him. It felt like a chasm opened and swallowed me, and I was tumbling down, down, down, deeper and deeper into a hole, with no end in sight. I wondered if there was anyone in leadership that cared about Piers, and how he could possibly survive this if there weren’t.
“Thanks for telling me,” I said.
“No problem. I didn’t like the way she talked. And I got the sense that Baker didn’t either. It’s just that…” He paused for a second and tugged at his scrubs absently. “Dr. Hood is very good. Maybe the best in the city. Maybe the best in the country, who knows, but he’s very good. I want to learn from him one day, but I can’t do that if he gets thrown out of here.”
I smiled slightly. “I’m glad you’re not being entirely altruistic.”
He rocked his head side to side, like it was no big deal. “It’s the truth. Gina talked about Dr. Hood like he was some kind of bratty nuisance, but he’s more than that. He’s a damn good doctor. I just… I didn’t like it.”
“I appreciate you telling me. You know I have to tell him, right?”
“I know. I think you need to.” He stood up and looked down at me. “Just keep my name out of it.”
“I promise.”
He nodded once, then walked away, disappearing back inside.
I looked at my salad and put it down where he’d been sitting a second ago. Suddenly my appetite was gone, replaced with a smoldering anger, and an even more intense uncertainty.
I believed in Piers. I knew he had a bad reputation, but not because he was a bad doctor. He refused to play the game, refused to be a political entity. In his mind, the only thing that mattered was the job, and everyone else was only an ancillary issue.
He didn’t understand that it was all one and the same. He couldn’t be a doctor without dealing with the administration—he couldn’t be an employee without having a boss. It was the way of things, for better or worse.
I stood, threw out the rest of my food, and started toward the elevators. I wasn’t thinking as I hit the button for the third floor, and it was only when I stood in the hall outside of Gina’s office that I realized what I wanted to do.
It was stupid and impulsive, and I was supposed to meet with Piers in a few minutes anyway, but I knocked. I heard her voice from inside, and I cracked the door slightly, stepping onto the threshold.
Her office was different from Piers’s. She had more color, more personal items: photographs of her family, a toy rabbit that must’ve been from her kids, a mug from the Virgin Islands. Piers’s office was austere and orderly, and while Gina’s was well organized, it felt more like a home.
“Lori,” she said, smiling a little. She looked tired. Bags hung under her eyes, and her normally sharp, straight dark hair was frizzy and fried. “What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Hood.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I started to second-guess myself. Maybe I should’ve turned and walked away right then and there. It probably would have been better for me—there was no reason to throw myself into the middle of this. I had it bad enough with Piers himself and our little deal, but this was going above and beyond anything I promised him.
Gina smiled a little and gestured at the chair against the wall on the left. I didn’t take it, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “I know Dr. Hood can be a little difficult—”
“That’s not it,” I said. “He’s been really good, actually.”
She arched a disbelieving eyebrow. “Has he?”
“I’ve stood in on every procedure he’s done, and we spend a lot of time before and after prepping for it. He’s taking the whole training thing seriously, although he didn’t really at first.”
“I’m surprised,” she said, leaning back. “I won’t lie to you, I thought you wouldn’t last a week with him, but here you are.”
“I heard something today.” I chewed on my lip, not sure how to say this. Gina was Piers’s boss, and by extension, she was mine as well—but then again, I had Rees to fall back on if something bad happened. I’d be fine if this didn’t go well, he could get me some other residency, maybe it wouldn’t be quite as good, but whatever, I’d survive it. Piers wouldn’t though, not if his own boss was dead set on destroying him.
“It’s okay,” she said. “You can tell me. Did Dr. Hood say something?”
“No, no, it’s not him, actually, it’s you.”
That surprised her. Her eyes went wide. “Me? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Someone overheard you talking about Dr. Hood. Talking about wanting to get rid of him because he’s such a pain. But I wanted to come here and tell you he’s like that with the administration and the staff, and with you I guess, but he’s been a great teacher, and he’s incredible with the patients. If you went with him on rounds, you’d see.”
Gina stared at me, disbelieving, before shaking her head. “What are you talking about?”
I stammered something, not sure what to say. “A person… overheard you… I mean, he didn’t mean to, it’s just…”
She sighed and rubbed at her temples. “I’m sorry, Lori. I don’t know what you think you heard, but believe me, you’ve got it wrong.”
“You don’t want Dr. Hood to go then?”
She hesitated, glancing toward the window that gave her a great view of the building across the street. “I’ll admit, working with Dr. Hood is very difficult,” she said. “But he’s a gifted surgeon. Maybe the best I’ve ever seen.”
“Believe me, he’s better than you think. I’ve stood in on his procedures this whole time, and it’s astonishing.”
“I’ll admit that I didn’t think he’d train you at all. I figured you’d be a mess by the end of this and we’d have to get you up to speed ourselves.”
“He’s been really good.”
She sucked on her teeth. “Fact is, Dr. Hood is a liability. I know you don’t think so, and I understand he’s been teaching you, but believe me, Lori. I’ve known a lot of doctors in my career, and more than a few have been like Dr. Hood. It’s never a good situation.”
“It’s wrong, you know.” I took a single step closer. “You wanting to kick him out like this, it’s wrong. You’re his boss. You should be on his side, not plotting behind his back.”
“Maybe if he tried to be diplomatic—”
“He doesn’t need to be diplomatic,” I said, getting frustrated, and letting it show. “He’s too good to be diplomatic. This whole thing with the Tippett family is a set-up, it’s bad politics, and it’s not going to benefit the hospital at all. It’s not going to benefit you.”
“Enough,” Gina said, her tone firm. I clamped my jaw shut and forced the words to stop spilling out. I took a deep breath, steadying myself, as Gina gave me a look, appraising look. “I understand you’ve become attached to him, but you can’t come in here and talk to me like this. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“Good. The matter of what’s going to happen to Dr. Hood is none of your concern. If he leaves the hospital, we’ll reassign you to another attending. If he doesn’t, then your life won’t change. Either way, it doesn’t matter, and you’re only hurting yourself by pressing the case. Do you understand?”
“I understand.” My hands curled into fists.
“You should take the day off,” she said.
“But I have a procedure—”
“I’ll tell Dr. Hood you won’t be coming.” She gave me a look and tugged at her wedding ring. “Think about our conversation. Think about how it might look, barging into your boss’s office like this, and getting involved in something that is far above your head.”
I wanted to snap back at her, but I had no power in this situation. I overextended myself and I knew it. I didn’t know what I thought would come from this, if I thought I’d somehow change her mind, but of course it only made
her double down, and got myself in trouble in the process.
I turned and left without saying anything. I figured I’d already dug my hole—no reason to make it worse. I stalked down the hall, mentally berating myself, and feeling like a fool.
Piers was going to be pissed. He wouldn’t have wanted me to do that. If anything, I just made his position even more tenuous, all because I got emotional and angry, and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
I went home, feeling like a moron, and hoped the damage would be minimal.
18
Piers
I left the hospital after a long day, my knees aching, my head a dull throb, and glanced over my shoulder as I merged into a group of pedestrians heading toward Broad Street. I spotted him right away: same baseball cap, same bland clothes, following me at a distance. He nodded a bit in acknowledgment, and I nodded back.
No reason to be impolite.
I got out my phone and made a call. She answered on the second ring. “Piers,” she said.
“Why did you get sent home?”
Lori sounded flustered. “I did a stupid thing. I’m really sorry. Gina didn’t tell you about it?”
“She told me you had to leave, but didn’t give details, and I didn’t bother pushing for them. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. But really, Piers, I did something dumb.”
“Are you at your apartment?”
“Yes, but—”
“Stay there. I’ll be over soon.”
I hung up before she could argue. I had a feeling I knew what happened, and I didn’t want to do this over the phone if I was right. Before I went to her place though, I needed to do something drastic.
I turned left and started running. Ahead, there was an alley that cut between two buildings. I dove down it, sprinting as hard as I could. I reached the end, turned again, then ducked into a small, rundown Chinese food restaurant. It was a place I’d been a hundred times before, tucked away in the intersection of two alleyways, the sort of spot that most people didn’t even know existed. It was a greasy place, yellow glowing sign with stock shots of rice and vegetables hanging above the counter, and the young girl with straight dark hair gave me a bored frown as I leaned against the front window, looking out at the street.
There he was. Theodore came tearing down the street after me, huffing and puffing, and didn’t even glance at the door. I watched him disappear before winking to the girl.
“Thanks,” I said.
She rolled her eyes as I left.
The walk to Lori’s place was easy after that. I kept looking over my shoulder, and doubled back once to make sure I wasn’t being followed, but it seemed like my trick worked. I doubt I could pull it off a second time—Theodore would be waiting for it.
Lori lived in a simple brick front row home on a quiet block near Rittenhouse. I rang her bell and she let me in. Her place was small, barely a living room, a bedroom, and a tiny kitchen. It was immaculately decorated though, with her degrees hung on the wall, some black and white photography, lots of old books. The place smelled like a thrift store and leather, which I actually sort of loved. She wore yoga pants and a big sweatshirt, and clearly hadn’t expected me to actually show up.
“Want a glass of wine?” she asked as I looked around.
“That’d be good.”
She went into the kitchen and came back a moment later. I took my glass and sipped it before meeting her eyes. She looked uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure why—because she was afraid of me being in her personal space, or if she was worried about what she did to get sent home.
“Let’s talk,” I said.
She walked past me and sat down on the couch, curling her legs beneath her. I stayed standing. The light from the street shifted with each car, making the houseplants glow.
“It was stupid,” she said. “I shouldn’t have done it.”
“What happened?”
She told me the story, starting with one of her fellow residents, she wouldn’t say which one, and ending with her visit to Gina. “I was impulsive and dumb, and now things are going to be harder for you.” She groaned and leaned her head back against the couch.
“Maybe,” I said and let out a long sigh before sitting down next to her. I left some space between us, but I was tempted to put my hand on her leg. “But maybe not.”
She frowned at me and shook her head. “You didn’t see the way she reacted.”
“You did tell her that I’ve been training you, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“And you spoke up in my defense?”
“Of course.”
“Then I think that’ll mean something. Even if not right away.”
She laughed a little. “Come on, you can’t be this optimistic. I just told you that your own boss wants you gone.”
“I knew that already,” I admitted, leaning back into the couch. “Gina thinks I’m after her job.”
She gave me an odd look. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think you needed to know.”
“Come on, Piers. You’re like in the middle of a political battle for your life and it sort of seems like I’m your only ally.”
“I’ve got other allies, but I understand your point.”
She shifted closer to me, leaning across the divide. She sipped her drink and put a hand near mine, but not quite touching. Her skin looked smooth and gorgeous, and I realized that I’d never seen her outside of a professional context before—at least, not in clothes other than scrubs. She looked normal, beautiful actually, even in loungewear. Some of her hair fell down onto her shoulders from the messy bun that sagged along her slender neck, and I was tempted to reach out and touch her chin, her cheek, her full, slightly parted lips.
I thought of kissing her, and realized coming to her place might’ve been a mistake.
But she let me in, knowing full well what it might mean.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, and I wondered if she meant with the hospital, or with her.
I hadn’t decided in either case.
“Keep going on,” I said. “There’s not much else I can do. Gina wants me out, and that’s not changing. All I can do is try to prove my worth.”
“You’ve done that already.” She tilted her head. “Maybe it’s time for a change.”
“I don’t change easily.”
“I know.” She smiled a little, like she was thinking of some private joke. “You can try though.”
“I’ve changed already,” I said, and I inched a little closer, my hand moving to cover hers. She didn’t pull away, only kept looking at me. “Training you is a big deal. Hell, even taking you on at all.”
“Not like you had a choice.”
“I always have a choice, even if it’s not a good one.”
“I still think I made things worse.”
“You didn’t.” I reached out and touched her cheek, grazing against her skin, just barely. She turned her chin toward me, leaning into that touch, and I moved closer, my legs touching hers. She leaned back against the couch and stared at me as I put my other hand on her thigh, fingers dimpling her flesh, and felt my heart thump in my chest, over and over again, wondering if I was doing the wrong thing, if maybe this would set me back weeks, or months, or years—or if I could ever come back.
And I found that I didn’t care.
I kissed her, slowly at first, biting her lower lip, her tongue and taste flooding into me. I thought of all the time I’d spent alone in operating rooms, practicing my talents, working on my skill, and I wondered how much of that had been wasted, how much of it mattered—since here, right here, kissing Lori, I felt more alive than I ever felt performing surgery, even when it went perfectly, even when I saved someone.
I couldn’t help myself. The last thing either of us needed was an affair on top of everything else, but I’d been wanting this for so long, since the moment I saw her in my office and thought, goddamn, what an attractive doctor—I knew she’d be a problem.
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A good problem, a delicious problem.
I pulled her into my lap. She came willingly. I took off her top, kissing her neck, let her bra slip down onto the floor. I palmed her breasts and tongued her pink nipples as she moved her hips up and down, writhing against my stiff cock.
“Tell me something,” I whispered in her ear as I gripped her tight, firm ass. “When you first met me, did you think you’d end up here?”
“No,” she said.
“I did. The first time I saw you, I thought I was going to get you in bed.”
“You’re a bit arrogant.” She bit my lower lip. “Why’d you think that?”
“Because for the first time in a long time, I wanted someone.”
She tilted her head. “You haven’t been on dates?”
“I haven’t done much more than work.” I teased her nipples again then turned her, rolling her onto her back, pinning her onto the couch. “I haven’t had time. I haven’t cared.”
Slowly, I peeled down her yoga pants, until she was in nothing more than a pair of black panties, her breasts spilling out to the sides, her pink nipples stuff. I felt my pulse in my cock and didn’t know how long I could take this as I ran my fingers down her slit, slipping aside the thin cotton, finding her soaking wet, dripping already.
“Why me then?” she asked, half moaning as I teased her, rolling along her clit, then back down to press inside. Her back arched and it was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “At first, I thought you were attractive.”
“You don’t anymore?”
I grinned and kissed her, pressed my fingers deeper, and bit her lip. “I most certainly do.”