by Toni Aleo
“They do not! They come for both of us.”
I roll my eyes as I wave her off. “Go.”
“Okay, I’m going to.”
“Good!”
She pumps her arms as if she is getting ready to go for a run and then passes by me, sauntering towards him in a way that only a confident woman could pull off. I watch as his mouth spreads into a huge grin as she leans against the bar and starts to talk to him. I want to eavesdrop but that’s rude, so I go back to work, hating myself for being so inexperienced.
Later that night, Fiona and I work quickly to close everything up so we can go to bed. I’m beat and my feet are killing me, but Fiona doesn’t look the least bit tired. She is smiling, hard, and I know it’s because she spent most the night flirting with Kane.
“He is so perfect,” she gushes as she loads the dishwasher up.
I smile as I listen to her go on and on about how perfect he is. It’s cute. I ask her, “You ignore everyone else that hits on you—have you crushed on him long?”
She nods sheepishly. “Oh yes, and I don’t even know what I’ll do if he asks me out! I’ll probably freak.”
She screams, and I can’t help but scream too. I’ve never had this, the female bonding over a guy. I didn’t have a sibling growing up and not many friends. I was kind of a nerd, with my nose deep in a book. I don’t hate that about myself. I pride myself in my knowledge of the written word, but doing this, gushing with Fiona about Kane, makes me wish that I didn’t wait until I was almost twenty-one to experience this. This is something a teenager does but while most girls gushed over boy bands, I was swooning over Mr. Darcy and Edward Ferrars. Some may call that odd that I was in love with heroes from my favorite romance novels and maybe they have raised my expectations of men but it’s what I did. It’s why I want to be an English teacher, just so I can share these amazing men with the youth today. So they can see that a man with manners is way better than a man with swag.
“He has me acting a fool. It’s insane! I know!”
I smiled at her exclamation as she runs her hands through her hair. “I’m glad; you are beautiful when you smile like that.”
She grins, but then her brows come together as she says, “Can I ask you something?”
I nod. “Absolutely.”
“You said earlier that he is more man than you could handle? What did you mean? It’s been bothering me.”
I shrug, not going to answer, but she reaches out and takes my wrist with her hand. “You can tell me anything, you know that. I wasn’t trying to offend you; I just wanted to give you a chance with the first guy you fancied.”
I shake my head, placing my hand over hers. “Not at all. I’m not offended, and I wouldn’t say I fancy Kane. He’s a good-looking guy but he isn’t for me. Plus, you like him.”
“Okay, but plenty of guys come in here looking a lot like Kane, and you brush them off—why?”
I shrug again, nervous as my heart pounds against my ribs. Looking up into her eyes, I smile sheepishly. “It’s just that I’m not experienced with guys like you. I’ve never really dated or anything. My only kiss was with my neighbor. I’m kind of a weirdo.”
“Sorry? Do you mean you’ve never got off with a fella?”
I pause as I look into her aquamarine eyes. Did I really want to admit that right now? To my surprise, I’m slowly nodding my head and then I say, “Yeah.”
She can only blink as she holds my gaze. “I’m sorry, but I have no clue what to say. You’re gorgeous Amberlyn! What are you waiting for?”
I grin shyly as I shrug my shoulders. “I never had time. Too busy with my mom and school and stuff.”
Her eyes fill with sympathy, before she wraps me up tightly in her arms. I smile against her shoulder as I hug her back. I really love Fiona and I feel my mom knew that I would, hence the reason she sent me here. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I instantly loved my aunt and uncle when I met them but with Fiona, she just gets me, she understands and loves me, even when I admit horribly embarrassing things. She doesn’t make me feel like crap for it. In a way, she gives me hope with her sparkling, bluish green eyes.
“Well, that is going to change. I promise you that!”
I laugh as she pulls away and says, “Maybe Kane has a friend?”
I shrug. “Maybe but I’m not looking for a quick lay. I want a relationship. I want to be wooed.”
“Wooed?” she asked, obviously confused.
“Yeah, like romanced,” I supply.
“Oh! Sure, sure! Kane is good at wooing,” she says with a wink.
“I don’t doubt that. He looks like it.”
“He is and no worries. We will find you a fella that will knock you on your arse with his wooing!”
“I can’t wait.”
“Me neither, I’m excited! For us!” she yells before her eyes get all glassy and dreamy looking. She then starts to spins in place before stopping and holding her hands to her chest, a euphoric look on her beautiful face. In that moment, I want what she is experiencing. I want to know what it feels like to be completely taken by a guy. Even though I was scared at first at the thought of falling in love, now I think it is something I might need to try.
“I talked to that girl from the pub last night.”
I glance up from where I am checking shipping forms. I hate this part of my job. It’s so boring, so tedious. I’d rather be malting than doing this shite. “Oh really?”
A smile pulls at Kane’s lips as he looks down at his own stack of paperwork. He has been working for my da since we were both fifteen. His dad is a malter for the company, and his ma is my ma’s lady maid. That’s why we’ve been so close our whole life; he’s always been there. He usually works in sales, but today he is helping me with shipping since we are a wee bit behind.
“Yeah, she is something, Dec, honestly.”
“Fine, okay, what’s her name again?”
“Fiona Maclaster, her parents own the pub and B&B.”
“Sure, I know who you are talking about. I haven’t met them yet though. Heard good things about them.”
When I look up, Kane sets me with a look and I ask, “What?”
He lets out a breath as his hands come out before him in obvious frustration. “Because you don’t freckin’ leave! You said you’d go out with me. Have you? No.”
“I don’t have time.”
“You have plenty of time. Ya just don’t have the balls to step out of the gates of your home to meet someone. It’s like you’re Rapunzel up in your tower. Jump out, Declan, and get your feet wet.”
I roll my eyes. “You act as if I’m a hermit. That is not the case—not by a long shot.”
“Yes, it is. You stay locked up in this damn castle and don’t do anything that would potentially make ya happy.”
I throw my hands up. “Fuck off, Kane! I do all types of things that make me happy. I read, I write, I ride, I take the boat out—I’m happy.”
Kane looks at me, stone-faced, as he asks, “How do you say that with a straight face? That is the stupidest shite you’ve ever said. You are not happy. You are content and believe me, that’s nowhere near happy. I also like how ya didn’t deny that ya don’t leave the castle. We both know you don’t. Everywhere ya go is on the grounds and if you need something, you have it brought in.”
I let out a breath as I look back down at my paperwork. “I don’t have time for this right now.”
Kane scoffs. “You never do.”
“Leave it alone, Kane,” I warn. I’m not in the mood. My dad has been on me about these shipments, about my part in the company, and then of course, about my mission to find a wife. I don’t need to be lectured by my friend too. So what if I don’t go anywhere or do anything? I am busy. I am trying to own a fucking company here.
“Fine, when you lose it all, it’s on you.”
As if I really needed that reminder.
“You’re right it will be, so leave it be,” I snap before letting out a long breath and running m
y hands down my face. An awkward silence falls between us, and I hate that. He roughly moves through the paper and I do the same, both of us mad but neither of us wanting to admit that the whole argument is stupid. That he is right. He’s always right. I don’t want to come out of what I know. It scares me to go out where people know me and I don’t know them. To try to meet someone and know they probably only want me for one thing. I know it’ll never happen if I don’t try, but a part of me just wants to wait it out, hope she falls into my lap, and that I never had to leave what I know. The unknown scares me.
Looking across the desk at my best friend, I shake my head. I know he is only looking out for me. He’s always been that way. He’s always played the big brother role with me, and I’ve let him because it always helped me out. When we were younger, I was the gimp while he hit his growth spurt early and had a mustache by 1st year of Secondary School. When anyone picked on me on the pitch, Kane was there, ready to kill anyone that had anything to say about me. I tried to be tough like him, but guys could sneeze and it would brush me to the side. Then I hit my growth spurt, but I was still weak. Kane suggested that I work out more to tone up, so I did. Soon, I was as big as he was, and no one messed with us after that.
Back then, I had no cares. I didn’t think that a girl wanted to date me because of my money. They wanted me because I was good looking, buff, and the best on the pitch. That all went to shite after Keeva though. She showed me what some women could be like. I won’t say I loved her, because I don’t think I did. Love is soul deep, like life consuming, and while I loved getting it on with Keeva, I never saw her as a wife. No matter how hard she tried to convince me she could be. Her dad was a politician and good friends with mine. They thought it would be great for our families to unite. I didn’t agree. She was great in bed, but she annoyed the shite out of me.
So I went with the flow, enjoyed her company, ignored her reasons on why we should get married, but when she asked me to buy her things, and then get mad when I said no, I started to pull away. While I didn’t mind it before, dinner here, a beer there, and maybe some knickers for me to tear off, I did mind when she asked me to buy her a car. I said no, of course, because that was just crazy to me. She wasn’t my fiancée or my wife, so why would I? She then accused me of not loving her, which I didn’t, and when I said that, she said some really awful things, one being the only reason she stayed with me for so long was for a new car.
I know, a bitch right?
But losing her and learning from her only made me keep the people that matter close to heart, and it also made my wall when it came to outsiders extra thick. With Kane though, I was pretty much an open book. I could never shut him out, nor would I. I glanced up at him to find him chewing on a pen, his brow together as he typed something into the computer.
“So, she’s good looking?”
He didn’t look up, but I did see his mouth pull up at the side. He was really taken with this girl, and I was actually looking forward to meeting her. “Yeah, she’s a looker, that’s for sure.”
“Maybe I’ll go up to the pub with you, check her out.”
That makes him look up, and I can tell that he doesn’t believe me. I smile as I shrug. “I’m nervous.”
He lets out a breath as he pulls the pen out of his mouth, pointing at me with it. “Don’t be. You act like you’re gonna walk in, and everyone is going to attack you! No one cares if you are out and about.”
“You know that is not true. There are blogs about me, and I’m in the paper if I do anything around here. Kane, people care. Don’t downplay us to make me feel better. I know where I come from.”
He waves me off. “Ah who cares, put a hat on. Let’s go get a few scoops down at the pub and have a bit of craic for a change. Be young and wild! You deserve it; no one can hate you or judge you for that.”
I shake my head. “I’m young but not wild, you know that. It’s easy for you. You don’t have this pressure on you to do what is expected. I do. It’s been that way since I was born.”
“I know and I get it, Dec, I do, but stop living for everyone else. Be one of the lads. Have a bit of fun!”
I laugh at that, and he smiles as he leans towards me. “Do something for you, Declan. Leave all these worries, the things that Keeva did, behind ya and find someone that makes you happy. You can’t hide behind these gates because if you do, you’ll not only lose everything, you’ll regret it too. I don’t want that for my best friend.”
I let out a long breath. “I already do.”
“Then let’s change it. Let’s go out, even if it is only once a week. At least you’re getting out.”
My heart speeds up, banging against my chest as I take in a lungful of air. “Where though? The pub?”
“The pub, a GAA match, go into town, a party, anything. You got to do things off this flippin’ land. I don’t even remember the last time we left together.”
I look away because I can’t remember either. I think it might be when my dad left from distillery to the office. “Yeah, I know.”
“Well, what do you say?” he asks with a wide grin.
I swallow loudly as I drum my fingers against the desk. Looking up at him, I shrug as I say, “I’ll think about it, okay?”
That doesn’t please him, and I can tell. He shakes his head as he leans back in his chair. “No, don’t think, just say yes. To start, let’s go to lunch off the property tomorrow. We can go to the pub and my future girl.”
I scratch my head, my fingers getting tangled in my curls. As much as I want to meet Fiona and try what he suggests, I can’t seem to make myself agree. “Ugh, I don’t know.”
He laughs. “Yes ya do, you don’t want to, but you know ya will. Ah, go on!”
“Fine, fine, yeah, I’ll go, but enough about that. Let’s get this done. I want to go fishing this afternoon and since you’re making me go to the pub, I’m making you go fishing.”
He groans but then he must realize that he won because a grin replaces his sullen look as he says, “Fine, I’ll bring the beer.”
After placing the boat on the water, I get in after pushing it off the bank. My little boat isn’t anything to be impressed with. I made it myself when Kane and I were ten. He isn’t much of a fisherman. He’d rather use the boat to bring ladies out, but me, I like to just be on the water. I may fish, read, or just lie at the bottom and let the sun warm my face. You know, maybe Kane is right, what man likes to do that for fun? Lie in the sun? What am I—a woman? For fuck’s sake.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I look up from where I’m baiting my line. “I think you’re right. I’m turning into a fucking girl.”
Kane laughs. “No, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“I like to lie in this boat, alone, and let the sun warm my face.”
“Jaysus, what color are your lace knickers?”
“Fuck off!” I say, but he just laughs. “I feel like a fucking gobshite.”
“Don’t worry, you are, but everyone still loves you.”
I set him with a look that he just laughs off before throwing my line out and leaning back in the boat. As I wait for a bite, I glance over to find Kane holding his pole between his legs while he plays on his phone. I sort of hope that a fish bites and takes the pole, or maybe even him, into the water. That would be a show for sure. Knowing that he is bored, I ask, “Are you going to ask her out?”
He nods. “Soon enough, have to feel her out. Right now, I’m hot for her, but I don’t want to rush it, ya know?”
That has me chuckling. “When have you ever been worried about rushing it with a girl? You’re usually rushing straight into her bed or yours.”
Kane smiles as he nods. “Yeah, but it’s different with her. She has a smile that stuns me, and a body that makes my mouth water. I want to get to know her.”
I smile as I turn the reel, bringing my empty hook back. I don’t say anything as I re-bait; I’m too lost with my thoughts. Kane isn’t the type of guy to want to ge
t to know anyone. He wants what he wants and goes on, so this Fiona must be something. It also makes me realize how much what he has been saying is true. I have locked myself up from the world, but who can blame me? When I leave the gates, it’s like I’m the freak show of the circus. Everyone stares, and I don’t know why. They do the same to my ma, da, and Lena, but they don’t care. They live as if they aren’t there. For me, it is different. It makes me nervous and makes me feel like every move I make could be the wrong one. I need to let this go though, because my friend could get married and have kids while I lie in my boat, watching the clouds pass by. Alone. And I don’t want that. Not at all.
“Will she be there tomorrow?”
He nods. “She’s always there. Even though, there is a new girl, I think she said her cousin, working there now. She’s a yank and very pretty. I can’t remember her name for the life of me. You’d fancy her though. She’s got those sweet eyes and freckles you like.”
I laugh. “How do you know I fancy sweet eyes and freckles?”
Kane shoots me a grin. “Because I know you.”
It’s true and he’s right, but that smug look on his face doesn’t have me admitting that. I shake my head as I reel in again. There is a fucking fish that is taking my bait and when I catch him, I’m gonna fry the fucker.
“Speak of the devil.”
I glance up. “What?”
“There she is and damn, she’s got one hell of a body!”
“Who?” I say, looking across the lake at where he is pointing. When I see her, my tongue falls out of my mouth. Literally. Putting it back in, I ask, “Fucking hell, who is that?”
An angel is the only thing that comes to mind.
Her hair is reddish brown and long, down the middle of her back. She has big, black sunglasses covering her eyes, and I can tell from where I am that she has lush, plump lips that are glossed and shiny. She is wearing a bikini, dark green that makes her porcelain skin shine. Kane said she had freckles and while I can’t see them on her face, they dust her chest and arms. Her breasts are large, her ass round, and thankfully, I get to admire it as she lays a blanket on the grass before dropping to her knees to lie down on it. I watch as she puts a baseball hat on her head before reaching in her bag to pull out a book that she lays to the side. Her body shines in the sun, probably from the oil she has pulled from her bag and is currently lathering her legs up with. I can’t take my eyes off her. She is magnificent, beautiful, and I wish like hell I knew what color her eyes are.