He looked at her, his face that of someone lost in a snowstorm, unable to see their way. “And I’m telling you I’m too broken to ever be with someone as perfect as you.”
That floored her, and she sat back with a thump as he got off the bed. But then she lunged forward and caught him around the waist. “No, you’re not going to just tell me all of that and walk out on me,” she said. “You can’t!”
He ran his hand through his hair. “There isn’t much more to say. This isn’t how I wanted things to go, but I knew I would have to leave it up to fate. Now you know as much as I do, but even as I say it out loud, I don’t know how I can be with you. How I even considered it.”
“You considered it because it was right,” she said, fighting back angry tears. “Because you love me.”
He blinked down at her, and his expression softened. “I do love you,” he said. “With every part of this monstrous heart in me. I love you enough to give you up.” Then he put his hand on the doorknob and opened it, giving her just one more sad glance.
“I won’t leave until you’re safe,” he said. “But after that, you should find someone on your own.”
And then he was out the door.
And she didn’t have the energy to chase him.
Chapter 14
Hercules didn’t go down for dinner that night. Instead, he snuck into Hera’s room to place the cameras they’d talked about that morning.
Just because they’d fought, and he was feeling raw and scraped open, didn’t mean he wasn’t going to put his all into protecting her.
He’d already gotten her permission to install the cameras, but he didn’t want to see her when he did it—thus, the sneaking during dinner.
When he checked the cameras from his cell phone and saw they were working, he headed back up to his room.
One of the workers came back to ask about dinner, and he accepted something basic but didn’t find himself hungry enough to finish it.
He locked his door, leaned back on his bed with a plate on his lap, and flicked on the TV, hoping to find something to distract him.
He was unsuccessfully trying to veg out when the phone rang right next to him, Bronson’s number on the screen.
He sighed. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now, but he didn’t really have any excuse to ignore his boss after everything he’d done for him.
“Hey, boss,” he said dully into the phone.
The line crackled, and then Bronson spoke back, sounding confused. “Boss? We’re friends, Herc. What’s up?”
“I don’t know. You’re the one who called me,” Herc said tersely.
More silence. Hercules tuned into the TV, not really caring what was happening on the line.
“What’s going on, Herc? I know you. At least I thought I did. I’ve never seen you pout like this.”
“I’m not pouting,” he snapped.
Bronson let out a deep laugh. “Yes, you are. Something happen with Hera? How’s the mission going? I was just calling to check in and make sure you two are okay.”
“Did you know we were involved?” Hercules asked dully.
“You and Hera?” Bronson asked, sounding amused. “No, though now that you mention it, I think I heard a rumor or two over the years. Just more to add to the Hercules mystique.”
“Mystique?” Hercules asked skeptically.
“Yeah, you know. Your past. Your incredible record on missions—rescuing troops and always hitting your target and getting out. You served on multiple squads, and squads talk.”
Hercules shrugged. None of that success mattered if the person he was wasn’t good enough to be with Hera.
“Hercules, it’s not good to keep things in. Tell me what’s going on with Hera.”
“Things just got screwed up,” he said. “We used to date. I guess when she hired me, she was hoping for another chance.”
“Jackpot,” Bronson said. “You and Hera are perfect for each other. Well, I guess the names aren’t. Then again, I don’t think your squad mates knew the two of you were going at it when they gave you those names.”
“No,” Hercules said. “They gave us those names before we’d even met each other. But it doesn’t matter now. I’ve ruined everything. Or maybe there was never anything to ruin. I can’t be with her.”
“Why ever not?” Bronson asked. “I don’t get where you’re going with this.”
“You wouldn’t,” Hercules said. “You’re normal. You had a normal family.”
Bronson scoffed at that. “You’re not the only one with secrets, buddy,” he said. “My family was awful, most of them. In fact, they tried to kidnap me. They put my mate in danger. And don’t even ask about my childhood.”
Hercules was quiet at that. He’d never expected pleasant, sunny Bronson to have gone through something like that.
“I’ve never wanted to pry,” Bronson said. “But since you’ve come to work here, I’ve sometimes seen some things in common with you.”
“What do you mean?” Hercules asked.
“I just mean sometimes it’s those of us trying to look the most normal who are the most screwed up.”
Hercules scratched his head. “That makes a weird kind of sense.”
“I’m here to listen anytime you need me,” Bronson said. “‘Cause trust me, man. You have to tell someone. One thing I’ve learned through sharing things with my mate is that secrets kill when they’re left in the dark. Gotta get ghosts out of the darkness if you want to kill them.”
“But what if they kill you when they come out of the darkness?”
“They can’t,” Bronson said simply. “Because then you have people on your side to fight them. And you can see them plainly, so you can take proper aim. If you just keep them back, push them down, pretend they don’t exist, then they can launch one-sided attacks on you all the time.”
Hercules sighed, not knowing what to say to that.
“At the same time, you can’t just dig into that deep stuff alone. You need help. A therapist probably. But then, it’s also important for the people you love to know what’s going on so they know how to help you.”
“That’s what Hera said,” Herc replied. “But I don’t see how she can help. She’s just going to see me as a monster.”
“You, a monster?” Bronson said in disbelief. “No. I know you. I’ve seen your actions. I don’t know what happened to you to make you believe that, but you’re the least monstrous person I know, unless you mean your monster ability to rescue those in trouble and protect those you love. I would say that aspect of you is definitely monstrous in a way. Monstrously good.”
Hercules had never thought about it that way. Did that unidentified thing in him somehow make him stronger? Was that why he’d been so good in almost any position he was given, from sniping, to leading, to extraction?
But did that matter at all with the woman he loved in danger?
“But didn’t you ever worry…? I mean, with your history, did you ever fear it would affect your mate?”
“You mean like would you ever hurt Hera?” Bronson asked.
“I nearly did today,” Herc said in a low voice, feeling the pain almost unbearably as he admitted it out loud for the first time.
“But did you?” Bronson asked. “Was she hurt?”
Hercules shook his head and then realized Bronson couldn’t see. “No. She was strong enough to save both of us.”
“Then that’s just what you need. Someone you can save who can be there for you in those moments where you need saving too.”
“I don’t want to be saved,” Herc said grumpily. “I just want to do all the saving.”
Bronson laughed again. “I get that. But sorry, we have to share some of the glory with our wonderful mates, too.”
“It’s not that. It’s just that I want everything to be easy for her. I want her to live life on soft pillows, with everything she wants and needs.”
“But it sounds like she wants you, right?” Bronson’s tone held a g
rin. “I mean, that’s pretty ingenious that she hired you and brought you out there just to win you over. Hilarious actually.”
Hercules didn’t know what to think about it. “I love her, Bronson. I just want what’s best for her.”
“I know, dude. I know. But you have to think what that entails if you aren’t there. Maybe wait until you don’t feel like crap about yourself and think it over.”
Herc knew Bronson had good advice, but there was still a lot of debris from the day scattered around, making it hard to think or feel clearly.
He heard footsteps walking around downstairs and knew dinner was over. He put Bronson on speaker and pulled one of the cameras in Hera’s room up on his screen so he could watch it while talking to Bronson.
“So is there even a threat there?” Bronson asked.
“I don’t know,” Hercules said. “A couple pervs. Nothing I couldn’t deal with. Nothing she couldn’t deal with, to be frank.” He set the phone on his leg and leaned back, trying to relax and think clearly. “How are things going back at the office?”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hera enter her room and shut the door behind her. As she started to get ready for bed, he turned away, not wanting to violate her privacy. Even if he ached to be beside her. If they hadn’t fought, they could be together right now. But then again, the darkness would still be there inside him. Waiting.
“You there?” Bronson asked. “Things are going well here. Limes is back and being his Limesy self.”
Hercules laughed at that. “How is Mark coming along?”
“Well,” Bronson said, a little quieter. “It’s weird having him around. Sometime I’ll have to tell you more about my family. When you’re back, if you feel like talking.”
Hercules felt a tight knot inside him but forced it to relax. He should tell Bronson. Perhaps he could trust him. As much as he hated the idea of talking about it, maybe that was the answer after all.
He rubbed his hands over his forehead. Maybe it wasn’t.
He heard something on the camera and turned toward it. Hera was getting situated in bed, had just turned off the light. He sighed as a warm tenderness shot through him.
He hated he’d have to take the camera down at some point and wouldn’t be able to see her whenever he wanted. How would he know she was safe?
How would he ever leave her?
He put his hands in his hair and pulled, trying to make sense of everything.
“Hey, you okay over there?” Bronson said. “I’m here as long as you need me.”
“I’m fine,” Hercules said.
“You guys just bedding down for the night?” Bronson asked.
“Yeah,” Hercules said. “Hera just turned in. I have a camera on her room, since someone was snooping in it before.”
“So she does need you,” Bronson said.
“Yeah, I guess,” Hercules replied. “Perhaps.”
“You know who it is?”
“I have my suspicions.” Hercules looked at the camera again, and he jumped as he saw movement at the door. Hera was quietly snoring, already asleep after a long, hard day. She didn’t even stir as the door slowly opened and someone slipped in.
His heart jumped and his breath caught in his throat. He stood, ready to run down there.
But then he thought maybe it was just her dad. Coming to talk to her.
Then he saw the figure pick up the large, solid desk in her room and move it in front of the door.
Shit.
“Bronson, I gotta go,” he said quickly, running for his door.
“Herc, wait—”
But Hercules didn’t hear him. He’d already thrown the phone down on the bed and tore the door off his room, running out of it.
Chapter 15
Hercules let out a roar as he rounded the end of the top hallway and planted a hand on the bannister. He leapt over it with a growl and landed hard on the marble below, cracking it with a thud that resounded through the house.
He ran to Hera’s room, not caring about anything around him. He went to the door, tried the handle. Locked.
“Hera!” he yelled, grabbing the handle and yanking on it. It came off in his hands.
He looked down at it, aghast. He’d never thought about it, but Bronson was right. He was strong. Oddly strong.
He kicked the door and felt the heavy weight of it, combined with the weight of the desk.
Strong? All the better to protect his mate with. He backed up and ran at the door, kicking it and hearing splintering through the frame. And then a muffled scream beyond that.
Curse the fine engineering that made the door and frame so durable, or he’d have been in there with one hit.
He heard footsteps running up to him. Someone grabbed his arm and tried to yank him back. He roared and knocked them back into the wall.
“How dare you!” a male voice roared. It was Hera’s dad, Rob. “Are you insane? Breaking up my house? Harassing my daughter?”
Hercules ignored him. Instead, he backed up and geared himself up for one more charge at the door.
“Don’t you dare!” Rob yelled, but it was too late.
Hercules had already hurled all of his weight into the door, and with one loud roar, it finally gave. When it fell in, in a cloud of dust and splinters, he saw the desk had been knocked out of the way and the door was in pieces.
Then he saw something worse. Hera on the bed, struggling with someone on top of her who had his hand over her mouth.
She was a bear shifter, but so was anyone here, so even though she was tough, fighting had never been her strong suit.
But even if it were a bear shifter, Hercules had no doubt he could beat them. Because he was something more than a bear shifter, and he would embrace that if it helped him save his mate.
He lunged toward the bed and grabbed the man on his mate, flinging him into the wall and throwing himself over Hera to protect her.
She looked up at him, shocked, and then relief flooded her. “Hercules.”
But they didn’t have time to celebrate before someone grabbed Hercules around the waist and he was pulled off with an oof. He turned and planted his fist into the man pulling at him.
It was Bentley, who staggered back, holding his nose. Adam was starting to stand, back where he’d been thrown against the wall. Hercules positioned himself at the end of the bed, between the men and Hera.
“Just what the hell is going on here?” Rob asked, walking in.
Adam looked over at him, an evil glare in his eyes, and then threw something his direction.
“Move!” Hercules shouted as Dean came out of nowhere to knock Rob out of the doorway. The dagger Adam had thrown clattered onto the ground.
“Are you insane?” Hera asked, sitting up in the bed, pulling her blankets around her. “What the hell are you doing? We’ve known you for ages.”
Bentley gave her a dark look, as if he were ashamed of his actions but resolved to them. “Right, and while your company has done well, ours has floundered. You knew my family and Adam’s had a merger, right? But it still didn’t save us.”
“Dean, you protect May and Rob,” Hercules said, putting up a hand.
“As if I need to be protected,” Rob grumbled. But he stayed back with his wife. “Go help him with those two idiots. They’re full-blooded bear shifters.”
Dean just looked at Hercules calmly. “He can take them.”
Hercules cocked his head at that, confused. Then he got into a fighting stance, ready for their next move. “Get out of my mate’s bedroom.”
“Oh, your mate now, is it?” Bentley asked, putting his hands on his hips. “I thought you were just a bodyguard.”
Hercules shrugged. “The title changes. The meaning is the same. But all you need to know is I’m one scary fucker, and I’ll kill anyone who threatens her.”
Bentley flinched for a second but then seemed to be gathering himself for a fight. “I need to mate her,” he said. “I need her company.”
“A
s if anyone would allow that after you forced me,” Hera spat. “You put it near me and I’ll bite it off.”
Bentley raised an eyebrow, but Adam smirked. “We can take him together,” he said, his lip bleeding from where Hercules had thrown him. He spaced himself out from Bentley so they were coming around Hercules.
All Hercules wanted to do was protect Hera, and it was going to be complicated with two of them.
He decided to take Adam first, lunging at him and grabbing him by the neck.
He heard a roar and saw Bentley transforming into his bear and charging at him just as he threw Adam into the wall again. He put up a hand to block himself but then saw a smaller grizzly launching from Hera’s direction to knock Bentley to the side.
The two bears tussled, Hera clearly on the losing side due to her size. The bear inside him sizzled with pride at the courage of his mate, and then he felt the animal rip out of him, changing him in a second into an oversized golden bear. He roared at Adam, who was transforming and trying to come toward him, and slashed the other bear across the neck.
Adam reared back, and Hercules rushed to his mate on the other side of the large bedroom, being pinned by Bentley’s giant Kodiak.
He roared and knocked the other male off her. Then he took the other bear by the claws and lunged with him toward the large double window, breaking the glass and sending them both rolling out.
Adam followed, and Hercules felt the other bear sink his teeth into the back of his neck as he wrestled with Bentley. Despite the two-on-one situation, he was completely calm. This was what he was made for.
His mate was safe inside, and he’d take care of these two miscreants now.
He swiped at Adam, knocking him off his back, and then kicked off of Bentley and went flying into Adam, forcing him to the ground. He then rammed his head into the other bear’s without a second thought, knocking him out.
Hercules didn’t take any pride in killing.
He turned back to see Bentley getting up to help his friend and roared and charged him, almost a grim smile on his face as he collided with the other male and sent them both rolling down the hill at the side of the mansion. They landed next to a sidewalk and some trees, so Hercules grabbed Bentley by the scruff and tossed him backward into a thick tree trunk, where he bounced off with a thud.
Bear-ly Human (Bear Claw Security Book 4) Page 11