Karena relayed this information to Betsy the following morning while they were busy folding the laundry.
"There's no physiotherapy in Northome, is there?" Betsy asked thoughtfully, and Karena shook her head. "We'd just love to have him stay here with us," Betsy continued, "he could come home to you on weekends, but I know you'd be awfully lonely without him. And you do have a job to think of. What will you do?"
Karena smoothed Nicole's minuscule pajamas lovingly and stacked them systematically with the others. She'd spent a long, sleepless night wondering that very thing, and the conclusion she'd arrived at was nothing short of terrifying.
"I was offered another job last summer, although I'm not sure they'd still want me," she blurted out, her voice trembling a bit as she explained about the school for logging arts at Brainerd. "Also, I think I could sell my cabin and the property at the lake. The money from the sale would be enough to help me get reestablished." She swallowed hard. Betsy was a businesswoman, and Karena wanted and needed her opinion.
"That's a lot of changes all at once. D'you think you'd be happy moving down there, Karena?" She gave Karena an astute look. "Would my brother have anything to do with all this?"
"He doesn't know anything about it yet," Karena confessed. "But it would be a lot better for us if I lived closer to St. Paul," she admitted. "I've realized for a while now that I should move closer to things. For Danny's sake, but I think it might also be the best thing for me. Maybe now is the right time."
Betsy had stopped folding. "Logan would sure be happy, having you near the college. Brainerd's not far from St. Paul. I know several women there I'm sure you'd like."
A short while ago, that suggestion would have terrified Karena. Now, she smiled hesitantly. "I'm not so hot at being social, but I'll give it a try. I used to think I didn't need people in my life," she mused. "Lately, I've learned I'm not as independent as I thought. But it's so hard to let yourself need people."
Betsy reached out and hugged her hard.
"It's scary, all right. You leave yourself wide open. But that's what life's all about, learning to give and take, to live with other people and get along with them. And most of all, liking yourself while you're doing it."
"I'm sure a late starter," Karena remarked ruefully. Then she found herself impulsively telling Betsy the story of her miserable teenage years. She finished with the tale of what had happened at Logan's friends' party, how she'd simply run away from it all.
Betsy actually thought that part of it was funny.
"I've wanted to do that so often at dull parties, just disappear out the kitchen door," she affirmed. "As for your cousins years ago, they were probably jealous because you're so pretty."
Karena started to demur, but Betsy said matter-of-factly, "Of course you are, I always notice naturally lovely women because I was dreadfully plain as a girl. Heavens, I went through years of misery before I learned how to dress, what makeup to wear. I had no confidence in myself at all for years and years. Instead of retreating like you did, I studied all the time. I became a regular egghead, hiding behind my superior knowledge and ignoring the rest of me."
"You? But now you're..." Karena was flabbergasted. Betsy was so confident, so happy and serene, so... perfect, Karena never dreamed there'd been a moment's awkwardness in her life.
"Is that why you overlooked the dumb way I acted when we first met?" Karena asked. "You totally intimidated me that day."
Betsy looked surprised, then she laughed.
"What I remember is how slim and gorgeous you were in those shorts. I'd just had Nicole, and I was feeling fat. And I remember thinking that I'd never seen Logan look at anyone the way he looked at you. I was delighted to see my bachelor brother falling head over heels in love." She picked up a flowered sheet and Karena took the opposite end. "Now, should we drive to Brainerd tomorrow and see about this job of yours?"
It took more courage than Karena thought she possessed to march into the offices in Brainerd and ask about the job, but she did it the following afternoon. Of course, Betsy was prodding her every step of the way. Shoving, actually.
The person she spoke with was both friendly and helpful. "The school for logging arts is just getting started in January, so enrollment is still small, which means you won't have many classes at first. But we also need instructors for log scaling. Why not consider taking an instructor's training program? With your background, I'm sure you'd do well."
Karena opened her mouth to say she'd never be able to go back to school at her age, she couldn't possibly think of meeting all those people, school had been a nightmare.
Think positive, Betsy had ordered.
Danny and Logan could help her with her homework.
"Where do I register?" Karena asked faintly.
Through her friends, Betsy heard of a small house to rent on the outskirts of town. It would be empty right after Christmas, and they drove to look at it.
The town of Brainerd was about the size of Bemidji, flat and sandy, with lots of trees and parks. It was situated on the Mississippi River, and Karena stared at the wide expanse of water, remembering the summer day when she and Logan had waded the tiny stream at Itasca that marked this great river's humble beginnings. Her life was widening out, just the way the river had between there and here.
"That's the house over there," Betsy indicated after a few moments. There were other houses nearby, but the attractive cottage was set on half an acre with lots of trees in the yard.
"The high school's just a few blocks from here, and I saw a community center not far away," Betsy commented.
There were also power poles and telephone wires very much in evidence, as well as a TV antenna on the roof. Danny was going to like it here fine, Karena knew.
On the drive back to Bemidji, Karena's show of bravado crumpled totally.
"I can't do this, Betsy," she wailed. "I don't know what ever made me think I could. I'm a high school dropout, I can't teach anybody anything. I've lived like a hermit all these years, I don't even know what people wear to school at my age."
"Any woman with a behind shaped like yours would be a fool not to wear jeans. And of course you can teach, you're a natural born teacher, look how you got Alex started logrolling, it's the first thing he's ever done better than his sister. You taught Danny so well he wins prizes at it, don't forget. Plus, you got Lizzie interested in drawing. And yesterday you showed me how to make that special Swedish coffee cake that Cliff liked so much. What do you mean, you can't teach?"
"It's too late anyway," Karena groaned. "I've already said I'd do it, and paid the money for the instructor's course."
"That's right," Betsy said smugly. "No refunds. Now, should we drive straight over to the hospital when we get back and tell your son his mother has a new career?"
Danny greeted them with the wan smile he'd developed, and when Karena told him of her plans, he accepted them with the same lack of enthusiasm he showed everything these days. He'd been quiet and withdrawn ever since his rescue, and Karena grew more concerned about him every day. He just wasn't the same old noisy exuberant Danny, and she and Betsy both worried that his depression would keep him from getting well as fast as he might. Even having a television at his disposal all day didn't cheer him up the way it ought to have done.
"Has he said any more about Mort?" Betsy asked when she was leaving an hour later. Karena usually stayed and had supper with Danny. She walked with Betsy as far as the coffee machines in the lobby.
"Nothing since he broke down that first day with Logan and me," Karena confessed worriedly. "I've tried to get him to talk about it, but he won't."
"Cliff tried when he was in to see him yesterday, but Danny didn't say anything to him, either. Maybe he'll open up to Logan. Damn that brother of mine, I wish he'd phone or something and let us know what time to expect him on the weekend."
Karena wished he would, too, but she didn't say so to Betsy. She didn't tell Betsy, either, that she'd called Logan's apartment in St. Paul
repeatedly from the phones here in the hospital lobby, starting the morning after the rescue, with no success.
She longed to talk to him, to share the decisions she'd arrived at, to tell about Danny and ask his advice. Most of all, though, she just wanted to tell him she loved him.
Had she told him of her love during those terrible days of waiting back at her cabin? She couldn't remember. She remembered his strong arms around her, and how he'd reassured her. But what had she given back?
It seemed urgent that she talk now with Logan. She'd even broken down and phoned the college yesterday, but the laconic woman on the switchboard simply said that Professor Baxter hadn't been at work all week, and could she take a message?
"Is—is anything wrong with him, I mean, he's not sick, or—he didn't have an accident or—or something?" Karena asked fearfully.
The voice on the other end of the line grew a little warmer, and terribly coy. "Now, dear, I'm sure it's nothing like that. Professor Baxter phoned himself and said he wouldn't be in this week, but he'd be back for sure next. These bachelors, they're so unpredictable. Why don't you try again next Monday, dear?"
Feeling squelched and foolish and angry, Karena hung up.
Where could he be? The last thing he'd said was that he had to get back to work, she was sure of that. Uncertainty filled her. They'd spent a long time apart, over a month. The name Bernice Zimmer kept popping into her head. Maybe... she forced the doubts away fiercely.
Logan had said he'd come to see her this weekend. This weekend was tomorrow. She'd just have to wait another day.
She'd also tried to phone her father, but there was no answer at Otis's house in Northome either. Undoubtedly he was out at the cabin, taking care of the place for her.
She'd gained a new closeness with her father while Danny was lost. But now she felt irritated with Otis, too, because whether he hated hospitals or not, Danny was his only grandson, and surely he could have made an effort to drive in one day this past week and see him. Or he could have telephoned to see how he was doing.
All in all, she felt pretty disgruntled by all the men in her life.
Saturday crawled past and Logan still didn't appear.
Every time footsteps approached Danny's room that afternoon, Karena looked up with anticipation. But it was never him.
By suppertime, she was both anxious and edgy. Danny had been particularly glum all day, refusing her heroic offers to play Scrabble, which she despised, choosing instead to watch one mindless game show after another on television.
At last, she rebelled.
"Turn that thing off, Danny. I swear, if that's the sort of programming there is on television, we won't get one in Brainerd either."
"Aw, Ma." Danny had become whiny lately, as well as sullen. Rebelliously, he clicked the television to the local news channel instead of turning it off.
"On a lighter note to the news this evening," the announcer was saying. "You all remember the story of the misguided, amorous moose who fell in love with a cow up in Vermont? Well, it seems we have our own local moose story, but this one involves a moose rescue squad."
Danny gave a shrill scream of excitement.
"Mom, it's Mort. I don't believe it, it's Mort, Mom."
Karena gaped at the television, unable to believe it either. But there on the screen was Mort, and as they watched he ambled over and all but blotted out the screen, snuffling curiously at the camera, his big nose getting closer and closer. The cameraman moved back hastily, and now they could see Logan and Otis in the background, unshaven and generally disheveled, reluctantly answering questions put to them by the interviewer.
Yes, Logan admitted, they'd spent four days tramping through the bush to Dora Lake and back with Mortimer. Yes, he'd been raised in captivity and there was little chance he could survive the winter alone. A truck would be arriving any minute to take him to Michigan, where he'd be encouraged to return to the wilds as soon as he learned the skills he needed.
Did they have a tough time finding Mort up there in the wilderness?
Otis answered that. No trouble, he barked gruffly, his brows beetling together and an expression of absolute exasperation on his face. The damn fool moose found them, stupid animal came charging out of the bush and almost trampled them to death as soon as they called his name. Ate most of their grub that night while they were sleeping. Those folks up in Michigan were welcome to him, he only hoped they knew what they were getting, by jiminy.
The camera hastily panned to Mort again. He was sniffing ecstatically at the exhaust of a truck, down on his knees in utter blissful abandon.
The next picture showed Mort unsteadily clambering up the truck's ramp, obviously high on exhaust fumes, and the picture faded back to the announcers, laughing helplessly back in the newsroom.
Danny was crying and laughing both at once, huge fat tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Grampa went up there with Logan, Mom. I never thought Grampa would do that for Mort," Danny was saying through his sniffles. "That crazy Mort. Did ya see him sniffing that exhaust again? After all the times we tried to get him to stop. Did ya see that. Mom?"
Both of them started to laugh.
After awhile, Danny said thoughtfully, "I'm glad he'll have a chance to learn how to be wild at that place." And later still, he added, "I guess Mort and I sort of grew up together, didn't we, Mom?" He sighed dramatically. "I feel a lot older since when we got him. I'll always remember that moose, Mom. Do you think he'll remember me?"
There was wistfulness in her son's voice, but there was acceptance as well. Karena said softly, "I don't know, Danny. I think so."
Logan called her, at the Gardoms', late that evening.
"It's Uncle Logan, he wants to talk to Karena," Lizzie announced excitedly. "We saw you on the TV," she said into the receiver. "You had whiskers, you should have shaved first, Uncle Logan," she was lecturing sternly as Karena took the phone.
Logan was laughing when Karena put the receiver to her ear, his rumbling, good natured chuckle making her homesick for him.
"Hi," she said, and then shyness overcame her for some indefinable reason.
"Hi yourself, did you think I ought to have shaved first as well?"
"I think what you did was absolutely wonderful. Danny's been moping all week, and tonight after we saw you on TV he seemed his old self for the first time. Logan, I felt sick about Mort, I'm so relieved you found him. How did you ever talk my father into going with you after him?"
"Oh, it was mostly his own idea. He's pretty soft under that gruff exterior," Logan lied valiantly. Actually, it wasn't all that much of a lie. Otis did have a soft spot in him.
He just didn't have a soft spot for Mort. Logan wasn't particularly enamored of the half-grown moose either, after the past few days.
Mort was not your ideal traveling companion, that was certain.
"Actually, I'm staying in Northome with your dad tonight. We both need a bath and a good meal, and some sleep. I'd like to come and pick you up tomorrow morning, early. We've got a lot to talk about now that this is all over, Kari, and as usual there's not much time to be together. I'd better be back at St. Paul on Monday or I'll be looking for another job. I'll pick you up about eight, will that be okay? And wear warm clothing. Boots, hat, gloves."
Karena nodded, smiling into the phone.
Logan said anxiously, "Karena? Are you there?"
She said hastily, "That sounds great, Logan. I'll be ready."
Betsy had been pretending not to hear a word, but now she said quickly, "Ask him if he'll be here for breakfast."
"Logan? Betsy wants to know if you'll be here for breakfast." She winked at her friend. "I think she wants to have Cliff butcher a hog or something. Or kill the fatted calf. It's not everyone who has a television star for a brother."
Betsy flicked a tea towel at her. Karena grinned, but her face was puzzled when she hung up. "He says he'd love to stay for dinner tomorrow, but he's already got breakfast made."
The entire Gardom family as well as Karena were waiting the following morning at eight to greet Logan. Alexander catapulted himself at his uncle's legs, and even Lizzie forgot her newfound dignity and leapt at him for a hug. Nicole took one look from the safety of her mother's arms and began to scream, hiding her face in Betsy's neck.
In the turmoil created by a barking dog, screaming baby and excited children, as well as questions from the older Gardoms, there was no chance for a private greeting between Logan and Karena.
He looked ruggedly handsome in his down jacket, with his jeans tucked into the top of laced up boots. His glasses had fogged the moment he came into the warm kitchen, and he'd laid them on the counter. Soft dark curly hair tumbled over his forehead, and his gentle nearsighted gaze slid past all the Gardoms even as he embraced them, over to the place where Karena stood.
Everything in her seemed to melt at the intensity of those dark brown eyes on hers.
In that first instant, her doubts about him vanished. He loved her as intensely as she did him, it was obvious for anyone to see. And that was going to make everything she had to tell him more difficult.
"Good morning, Karena." How could such simple words hold so much meaning for her?
As soon as he could gracefully extricate them, they were on their way. There was a huge shopping bag resting on a plaid wool blanket in the back of the car, and several thermoses. They were going on a picnic to Itasca State Park.
"Come over here close to me, woman," Logan ordered. Karena moved gladly across the seat, snuggling close to his side.
The miles sped by, and soon they'd turned off the highway onto the park road. Logan was watching for a driveway.
He turned in, and Karena sat up straighter and peered around at the collection of wooden buildings. "Where are we? I thought we—Logan, this is only a summer lodge. The sign says it's closed till Memorial Day, next spring."
Follow A Wild Heart (romance,) Page 23