by Jane Linfoot
Zac’s forehead wrinkles. ‘But I’ve just flown six thousand miles to give you away.’
I don’t think my mum has ever refused him anything in his life.
She purses her lips. ‘When you said you couldn’t come, I asked Lily. She’s done so much to make this wedding happen, we’ll stay with that. You’ll get your turn with the speeches.’ As Zac raises his eyebrows and obediently disappears through the doors, my mum smiles. ‘It feels right, Lily. You’re the one who’s been here for me. You’re the one whose permission I want most.’
I scrunch her into the biggest hug I dare, given she’s wearing cream satin, and my tears are streaming so fast they’re dripping off the end of my chin.
‘Your flowers, Barbara.’ As Kip holds them out I let her go, and his face creases into a concerned smile. One small handful. Zinnias and marigolds, nasturtiums, fennel. Cosmos and cornflowers. A lavender sprig from the plant Kip bought last week. And sweet peas from David. All bound with trailing cream and grey ribbons.
My mum gazes down at them. ‘They’re lovely. Thank you for growing them. Both of you.’ She sniffs as she looks at them, and when she looks up again she’s smiling. ‘I’m so pleased you came back, Lily.’
I wrinkle my nose. ‘Me too.’
Who would have thought growing one small bunch of flowers would have taken so much agony and effort? Or, in the end, make me fall in love with gardening all over again? And better still, make me love my mum so much?
As I hold out my arm for her to take, Kip nods at someone through the door. The first haunting notes from the piano drift up towards the high ceiling sound very familiar, but I can’t place them. ‘What is it?’ I whisper.
Kip mouths back. ‘It’s Rafe, playing The Glasgow Love Theme – the Love Actually music, from the bit where the girl falls in the lake.’
Beyond Kip’s ironic would-you-believe-it glance I catch a glimpse of David at the front of the Winter Garden. He puts up his hand, grins at me, and we make the hang loose sign at each other before he dips out of sight.
Then as my mum and I begin to walk, Kip leans in closer and hisses in my ear. ‘Good luck, Water Lily. I’d say you’ve smashed this one.’ And for a nano second I’m regretting that I gave in on the outfit, but not the plus one.
The fittingly poignant music is only the start, and it shows me how much these two have thought about what they’re doing. But even though I’m crying so hard I lose count of the tissues I go through over the next half hour, as my mum and David say their vows and sign the register, the scent of Kip’s aftershave stays with me all the way.
Chapter 47
Saturday, 16th September
At Rose Hill Manor: Splash and dash
‘Surviving, Water Lily?’
By the time Kip finds me tucked away in a quiet corner of the terrace, on the evening of my mum’s wedding day, the swinging lights above our heads are bright against the darkening sky.
‘I’m blending in,’ I say. Not that he’ll notice, but the roses on my dress carry on seamlessly from the scented ones tumbling down from the pergola. As the breathy September breeze brings out my goosebumps I pull my cashmere cardie closer. This is the first and last time I’m venturing out dressed like a garden, okay? Straight after the speeches I bundled the jacket into the office filing cabinet and pulled on the cardie I’m far more comfortable wearing.
He narrows his eyes. ‘Did I miss the bouquet throwing?’ You see what I mean when I say he’s nailing his wedding game?
I laugh. ‘My newly considerate mum very thoughtfully decided to skip that part, seeing as I’m practically the only single female here.’
The worst thing about wonderful wedding days is how fast they fly by. My mum’s has been a blur of tears, drinking, hysterical laughter, and delicious food. Prawn cocktail, goat’s cheese tart, duck à l’orange. Trifle, lemon meringue pie, Eton Mess, profiteroles, banoffee pie. And although I was throwing down Prosecco like there’s no tomorrow, thanks to the pudding table, the alcohol’s had no effect at all. I was completely steady in my highest Miss KG heels, as I chatted mainly to my mum’s bestie, Jenny, and Zac’s charming American girlfriend, Angel. Short for Angelina. Although when it came to the seventies disco where everyone is still going wild now, all I can say is I’m damned grateful there are bows holding the shoes on my feet.
Kip hands me a bottle. ‘I brought you a Fentimans. I thought we might …’
He hesitates for long enough for my stomach to do a somersault, then a second later, another voice slices through the night air.
‘Lily, just the woman, where have you been hiding all day?’ It’s Fred, swinging into view around a pergola post.
A second later Kip crashes down beside me on the wooden bench. ‘Anything we can help you with, Fred?’
Fred’s broad smile falters momentarily. ‘I’ve got a fabulous suite on the first floor. The dancing’s practically over, how about we go up for coffee and brandy before bed, Lily?’
I’m opening my mouth to ask how the hell he blagged that particular bedroom, but Kip jumps in first.
‘Lily’s with me today.’ His arm slides along the seat behind me. ‘And tonight too. So we’ll catch you in the morning.’ He laughs. ‘That’s if we decide to bother with breakfast.’
We both know he’s only faking it to get rid of Fred, but it still sends my heart rate off the scale.
Fred’s face folds into a scowl. ‘And what about the date you owe me, Lily? You’re not getting out of it that easily.’
I can feel Kip’s spine going rigid beside me, but I get in first. ‘Bollocks, Fred. I don’t owe you anything. As for dates, they won’t be happening. Not tonight. Or any other time come to that.’ After standing up to my mum, Fred’s a walkover.
Kip wades in. ‘So if that’s everything, maybe you can leave us to our lemonade?’
‘Fizzy pop?’ Fred’s jeering as he backs away. ‘Very rock and roll. And don’t forget the condoms, Lily. These Penryns like to put it around, you know. You don’t want to catch anything nasty.’
‘Great.’ Even if Fred’s drunk, I’m reeling at the bitterness of that jibe. ‘Does he have a problem with you?’ It feels like a massive understatement.
Kip gives a sigh. ‘It’s mutual. That lowlife regularly gave Quinn a kicking, because he resented the fact that we had money and he didn’t.’ He gives a low laugh. ‘Bart gave him a break, and let him rent some land. Ironic how things change. Now he’s rolling in it, and we’re broke.’
‘Very funny.’ I say, smiling at Kip’s joke, and kind of hoping he won’t take his arm away. And then I remember the logs across the road on that first open day. ‘The escaping sheep, the garden, the flood and the rest … Is that why he did it all?’
Kip blows out his cheeks. ‘Who knows? Maybe he’s just loyal to Rafe. Or competing for you. He’d certainly like to see me fail. Whatever, it’s best to rise above it.’ Given the list his long sigh seems justified. ‘Enough about that. What are we doing next?’
I laugh. ‘I was planning to go to my single person’s room, up on the top floor.’ I flinch as his fingers accidentally brush my shoulder.
He tilts his head on one side. ‘Which coincidentally happens to be right next to my very own top floor single room. Or we could forget all about being sad singletons, and row out to the island. Sit on the beach and watch the dawn come up.’ As he rubs me on the arm I shiver. ‘It was fun last time we did it.’
As I lean sideways, the warmth of his body is solid against mine. ‘That’s the most tempting offer I’ve had in years.’ Although it’s meant to sound jokey it’s the complete truth. ‘Only one catch though. You’re in charge of a wedding. Like I told you at Nicole’s, you can’t run out until it’s over.’
He gives a low laugh. ‘Which is why I have two guys from the estate manning the office. They’ll call if I’m needed.’ He dangles a slim black box in front of me.
If my voice is a squeak it’s because I’m stunned. ‘When did you get a pager?’ Or ov
ernight stand-ins for that matter.
He grins. ‘We’re trialling the system. Here at the Manor we take our responsibilities very seriously.’ He nudges my leg with his. ‘And someone’s got to blow out the candles on the island. It might as well be us.’
I let that last one go, because he has excelled himself here. This is Kip at the top of his wedding game. And if he’s looking seriously edible due to my Prosecco goggles, for one night only I’m not going to fight it. Although, who am I kidding? My stomach’s been squishing for weeks at the sight of his sexy sharp cheekbones and the shadows underneath them. Not to mention those tanned wrists.
‘Are you okay in those shoes?’
‘Fine.’ If I go two floors up to find better ones he might change his mind.
‘Shall we go then?’ Him leading me by the hand seems completely natural. ‘Is this your maximum speed, Water Lily? Not that there’s any hurry … But we were hoping to get there before sunrise …’
Half way down the field, I undo my bows, kick off my shoes and dangle them from my fingers. When we reach the jetty the planks are smooth under the soles of my feet. After the prickles and bumps of the meadow, I’m exceedingly happy to roll into a boat.
‘Definitely no getting stranded this time,’ Kip’s joking as he takes the oars, and pushes us off into water where the half moon’s reflection is shimmering off the surface ripples.
But however much I’m the one who’s drummed the responsibility into him, getting stuck here wouldn’t be so bad. Not tonight. Given the quality company.
He rows a long way out without talking. As I trail my finger over the side of the boat the water’s cool on my fingertips and I finally break into the gentle swish of the oars through the water. ‘So what about those dreams you never told me about. Is there time to tell me tonight?’
I hear him let out a low laugh. ‘It’s as good a time as any. When you asked me that night on the beach, I’d have given a different answer from the one I’d give now. Losing a company is a shock at the time. But in the long term, there’s a lot to learn from it.’
I never pushed it that night on the beach. ‘But what went wrong? How did you come to make one decision to send it to the wall?’ Now I know Kip better, it feels the right time to ask.
‘That part wasn’t actually me, it was my dad. He was taken in, ploughed everything we had and more, into an offer that was too good to refuse. But the catch was, what he was buying into didn’t exist. By the time I found out, the deal was done, there was no going back. It was too late. We’d lost the lot.’
Shit. ‘But I thought you said it was your fault?’
Kip sniffs. ‘I’ll always feel I was to blame. I should have kept a closer eye on Dad, should have seen what he was doing, and put a stop to it. Maybe I wasn’t concentrating as much as I should have been.’
‘You sound like you’re being hard on yourself.’
‘Only because I should be. Someone like Fred would say, “easy come, easy go”. I’d done nothing to earn any of what I was enjoying in that company. I simply walked into it as a birthright. There were fast cars, prestigious offices, fabulous homes in London. But they all went. The personal equity I’d built up in my own house paid the last of the creditors, and bought the smallest flat imaginable for my dad. When you asked me before, all I wanted at the time was to get it all back. Go back to what we were. But somehow I don’t feel that anymore.’
Even if it was handed to him on a plate, my chest is still aching for what he lost. ‘I had no idea that’s what you’d come from.’
‘I left Dad with a pension, and I rocked up here with a promise from Bart that I could use the house until I was back on my feet again, and a fledgling idea from Quinn about doing weddings. The brothers promised to keep me going until I turned a profit. But the night I arrived I had enough capital to buy supper at the pub, the Landy, and an advertising hoarding.’ Kip’s voice is grim.
‘Oh my frigging giddy aunt, how awful.’ My gasp doesn’t begin to cover it. No wonder he looked desperate. Driven. Like he had no idea. All of the above. Although he did a damn good job of covering it up with his arrogant act.
His voice is grave. ‘There are times when your life derails, but the knack is to pick yourself up and keep on going. To learn to be happy again. It’s not about making money, that’s not what matters. I’d done it once after my mum died, so I knew I could do it again. And Bart was here for me too. Luckily he’s taken the Caribbean side of the business from strength to strength.’
‘So you want something different now?’
‘My aims have changed, because I have. Let’s just say, the guy I am now would have been straight onto that mistake, before it even happened. Somehow you taught me to give attention to detail, to focus. Taught me to care about what I’m doing, in a way I didn’t before. And the upside is that I really enjoy what I’m doing now, in a way I never enjoyed working for Penryn Trading.’
‘Well that’s all good.’ At least it is for Kip.
‘I suspect making me do weddings might have been Quinn’s punishment. My penance. I was certainly appalled by it at first.’ Kip’s low laugh ripples into the darkness. ‘If that was the case, it backfired. In the best way possible.’
I’m smiling in the dark as I remember how Kip used to be. ‘You were spectacularly clueless about brides and grooms when you arrived. Although the Manor was so amazing, it saved you every time.’
Kip draws in a breath. ‘If I’d been as tuned into the business as I am now, I’d have saved the company. Knowing that means I can hold my head up again. I’ve got my self respect back. And having lost a huge chunk of what I took for granted, I damn well appreciate what’s left. I’ve learned so much the last few months. About myself, about what’s important to me. Building the basis of a great business here at the Manor is only a tiny part of the good that’s come out of it. Although I never thought I’d say it, I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing than my job here. And you can’t put a value on that. Maybe with a rethink on the three six five, along the lines you mentioned. Thanks again for that.’
My smile splits into a grin. ‘You’re welcome.’
He clears his throat. ‘So in answer to your first question, I suppose we dream about what we think will make us happy. And in my case, that’s the life I’ve got. Exactly as it is. Meaning I really don’t want you to move on, because you have to admit, we do make a cracking team. But six months ago, who’d have thought I’d be saying that?’
Every part of that sends shivers through my ribcage. ‘Don’t they say “real life starts where your comfort zone ends”?’ I’m gripping the boat sides to stop my voice wavering. The trouble is, comfort zones aren’t called that for nothing. They’re great places to hang out simply because they’re so cosy.
Kip’s low laugh comes over the silky swish of the water. ‘I think that’s been true for both of us. We both washed up here, and were pushed into doing stuff we’d never done before. And in a strange way, we’ve got rather good at it. Probably largely due to you. How unexpected is that?’
Now it’s my turn to laugh, because he sounds so pleased with himself. ‘You think?’ Although once I do, he’s right again. Damn him. ‘With your styling demands, and your garden, you pushed me out of my comfort zone as much as I pushed you.’ What’s more we’ve almost reached our destination. The lights along the jetty shining out over the water are coming closer.
Kip takes a few minutes to slide the boat in close. ‘Surprising, but damned satisfying. I’d say we’ve done so well, we deserve a beach toast of our own. We’ll grab some champagne from the cabin.’ He leaps ashore, thuds onto the boards, and ties the boat up. ‘As soon as you’ve checked the knot we’ll be on our way.’
As he guides me off the plank walkway, there’s a tiny part of me hoping that maybe we’ll get into the kitchen, and he’ll bump into me. That somehow, somewhere in the shadows, my mouth will find his. As I imagine how he might taste, I swallow hard, and clench my thighs as I get a hugely
unfamiliar kick in the pit of my stomach.
‘Ouch.’ A small stone sticking into the base of my foot yanks me back to real life. And of all of Kip’s nightmare playlist, this really isn’t the moment for Orgasm Addict to start buzzing through my head.
‘Just for the record, when Quinn saw the wedding publicity pictures of us on the blog, he rang me and relinquished his claim.’
‘What?’ I’m squeaking because I can’t believe he’s talking about me.
He laughs. ‘Just our ethics code that stopped us killing each other, remember.’
I shake my head. ‘Boys’ crap, you mean? I’m entirely disgusted you shared that.’ But at the same time, I’m secretly quite pleased he did. Even if it’s only come up because we’re on the jetty again.
As we make our way onto the verandah, Kip pulls a battery lamp out of the shadows, and pushes the cabin door open. ‘Lumos,’ he says, as he strikes a match, and lights some candles above the empty fireplace.
As he hands me a candlestick, and disappears into the next room, I can make out a chair cover very like my dress fabric. ‘Hey, look, I match the sofa.’
Kip’s laugh is low as he comes back, bottle under his arm and glasses in hand. ‘I’d say that’s one excellent reason not to let your mum choose your clothes.’
Maybe my outfit dilemmas haven’t stayed as private as I intended. For some reason I begin to giggle. It starts as a tiddler, then as Kip joins in it grows. Then I slap him, and he gives me a gentle cuff, which only makes us both explode more.
When our gasping and screaming laughter eventually subsides he nudges me. ‘You look awesome in that dress.’ He puts our candlesticks onto a table, then spins me round to face him.
‘Thanks.’ I lock my eyes on the dusky triangle of skin where his shirt collar opens, and try to ignore that my insides just left the building. ‘You’re not looking so shabby yourself.’ I shiver as he traces his finger along my forehead, and pushes my hair out of my eyes.