The Emerald City of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  _How_ THE WIZARD FOUND DOROTHY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  When they came to the signpost, there, to their joy, were the tents ofthe Wizard pitched beside the path and the kettle bubbling merrily overa fire. The Shaggy Man and Omby Amby were gathering firewood while UncleHenry and Aunt Em sat in their camp chairs talking with the Wizard.

  They all ran forward to greet Dorothy, as she approached, and Aunt Emexclaimed: "Goodness gracious, child! Where have you been?"

  "You've played hookey the whole day," added the Shaggy Man,reproachfully.

  "Well, you see, I've been lost," explained the little girl, "and I'vetried awful hard to find the way back to you, but just couldn't do it."

  "Did you wander in the forest all day?" asked Uncle Henry.

  "You must be a'most starved!" said Aunt Em.

  "No," said Dorothy, "I'm not hungry. I had a wheelbarrow and a piano forbreakfast, and lunched with a King."

  "Ah!" exclaimed the Wizard, nodding with a bright smile. "So you've beenhaving adventures again."

  "She's stark crazy!" cried Aunt Em. "Whoever heard of eating awheelbarrow?"

  "It wasn't very big," said Dorothy; "and it had a zuzu wheel."

  "And I ate the crumbs," added Billina, soberly.

  "Sit down and tell us about it," begged the Wizard. "We've hunted foryou all day, and at last I noticed your footsteps in this path--and thetracks of Billina. We found the path by accident, and seeing it only ledto two places I decided you were at either one or the other of thoseplaces. So we made camp and waited for you to return. And now, Dorothy,tell us where you have been--to Bunbury or to Bunnybury?"

  "Why, I've been to both," she replied; "but first I went to Utensia,which isn't on any path at all."

  She then sat down and related the day's adventures, and you may be sureAunt Em and Uncle Henry were much astonished at the story.

  "But after seeing the Cuttenclips and the Fuddles," remarked her uncle,"we ought not to wonder at anything in this strange country."

  "Seems like the only common and ordinary folks here are ourselves,"rejoined Aunt Em, diffidently.

  "Now that we're together again, and one reunited party," observed theShaggy Man, "what are we to do next?"

  "Have some supper and a night's rest," answered the Wizard promptly,"and then proceed upon our journey."

  "Where to?" asked the Captain General.

  "We haven't visited the Rigmaroles or the Flutterbudgets yet," saidDorothy. "I'd like to see them--wouldn't you?"

  "They don't sound very interesting," objected Aunt Em. "But perhaps theyare."

  "And then," continued the little Wizard, "we will call upon the TinWoodman and Jack Pumpkinhead and our old friend the Scarecrow, on ourway home."

  "That will be nice!" cried Dorothy, eagerly.

  "Can't say _they_ sound very interesting, either," remarked Aunt Em.

  "Why, they're the best friends I have!" asserted the little girl, "andyou're sure to like them, Aunt Em, 'cause _ever_'body likes them."

  By this time twilight was approaching, so they ate the fine supperwhich the Wizard magically produced from the kettle and then went to bedin the cosy tents.

  They were all up bright and early next morning, but Dorothy didn'tventure to wander from the camp again for fear of more accidents.

  "Do you know where there's a road?" she asked the little man.

  "No, my dear," replied the Wizard; "but I'll find one."

  After breakfast he waved his hand toward the tents and they becamehandkerchiefs again, which were at once returned to the pockets of theirowners. Then they all climbed into the red wagon and the Sawhorseinquired:

  "Which way?"

  "Never mind which way," replied the Wizard. "Just go as you please andyou're sure to be right. I've enchanted the wheels of the wagon, andthey will roll in the right direction, never fear."

  As the Sawhorse started away through the trees Dorothy said:

  "If we had one of those new-fashioned airships we could float away overthe top of the forest, and look down and find just the places we want.

  "Airship? Pah!" retorted the little man, scornfully. "I hate thosethings, Dorothy, although they are nothing new to either you or me. Iwas a balloonist for many years, and once my balloon carried me to theLand of Oz, and once to the Vegetable Kingdom. And once Ozma had a Gumpthat flew all over this kingdom and had sense enough to go where it wastold to--which airships won't do. The house which the cyclone brought toOz all the way from Kansas, with you and Toto in it--was a real airshipat the time; so you see we've had plenty of experience flying with thebirds."

  "Airships are not so bad, after all," declared Dorothy. "Some daythey'll fly all over the world, and perhaps bring people even to theLand of Oz."

  "I must speak to Ozma about that," said the Wizard, with a slight frown."It wouldn't do at all, you know, for the Emerald City to become away-station on an airship line."

  "No," said Dorothy, "I don't s'pose it would. But what can we do toprevent it?"

  "I'm working out a magic recipe to fuddle men's brains, so they'll nevermake an airship that will go where they want it to go," the Wizardconfided to her. "That won't keep the things from flying, now and then,but it'll keep them from flying to the Land of Oz."

  Just then the Sawhorse drew the wagon out of the forest and a beautifullandscape lay spread before the travelers' eyes. Moreover, right beforethem was a good road that wound away through the hills and valleys.

  "Now," said the Wizard, with evident delight, "we are on the righttrack again, and there is nothing more to worry about."

  "It's a foolish thing to take chances in a strange country," observedthe Shaggy Man. "Had we kept to the roads we never would have been lost.Roads always leads to some place, else they wouldn't be roads."

  "This road," added the Wizard, "leads to Rigmarole Town. I'm sure ofthat because I enchanted the wagon wheels."

  Sure enough, after riding along the road for an hour or two they entereda pretty valley where a village was nestled among the hills. The houseswere Munchkin shaped, for they were all domes, with windows wider thanthey were high, and pretty balconies over the front doors.

  Aunt Em was greatly relieved to find this town "neither paper norpatch-work," and the only surprising thing about it was that it was sofar distant from all other towns.

  As the Sawhorse drew the wagon into the main street the travelersnoticed that the place was filled with people, standing in groups andseeming to be engaged in earnest conversation. So occupied withthemselves were the inhabitants that they scarcely noticed the strangersat all. So the Wizard stopped a boy and asked:

  "Is this Rigmarole Town?"

  "Sir," replied the boy, "if you have traveled very much you will havenoticed that every town differs from every other town in one way oranother and so by observing the methods of the people and the way theylive as well as the style of their dwelling places it ought not to be adifficult thing to make up your mind without the trouble of askingquestions whether the town bears the appearance of the one you intendedto visit or whether perhaps having taken a different road from the oneyou should have taken you have made an error in your way and arrived atsome point where--"

  SO AND SO, AND SO AND SO, OH YES, I DON'T KNOW IT MIGHTBE SO I CALCULATE BUT I DON'T KNOW, INTRE MINTRY CUTEYCORN APPLE SEEDSAND FLY AWAY JACK. SIX SIXES ARE NOT SIXTY-SIX? AND WE STILL HOLD TOFOLDEROL DE DOODLE ALL DAY, IF I HAD A DONKEY THAT WOULDN'T GO I'D BUY AFIDDLE FOR FIFTY CENTS AND RATTLE HIS BONES OVER THE STONES IT'S ONLY ABEGGAR WHOM NOBODY OWNS, LISTEN??]

  "Land sakes!" cried Aunt Em, impatiently; "what's all this rigmaroleabout?"

  "That's it!" said the Wizard, laughing merrily. "It's a rigmarolebecause the boy is a Rigmarole and we've come to Rigmarole Town."

  "Do they all talk like that?" asked Dorothy, wonderingly.

  "He might have said 'yes' or 'no' and settled the question," observedUncle Henry.

  "Not here," said Omby Amby. "I don't believe the Rigmaroles know what'yes
' or 'no' means."

  While the boy had been talking several other people had approached thewagon and listened intently to his speech. Then they began talking toone another in long, deliberate speeches, where many words were used butlittle was said. But when the strangers criticised them so frankly oneof the women, who had no one else to talk to, began an address to them,saying:

  "It is the easiest thing in the world for a person to say 'yes' or 'no'when a question that is asked for the purpose of gaining information orsatisfying the curiosity of the one who has given expression to theinquiry has attracted the attention of an individual who may becompetent either from personal experience or the experience of others toanswer it with more or less correctness or at least an attempt tosatisfy the desire for information on the part of the one who has madethe inquiry by--"

  "Dear me!" exclaimed Dorothy, interrupting the speech. "I've lost alltrack of what you are saying."

  "Don't let her begin over again, for goodness sake!" cried Aunt Em.

  But the woman did not begin again. She did not even stop talking, butwent right on as she had begun, the words flowing from her mouth in astream.

  "I'm quite sure that if we waited long enough and listened carefully,some of these people might be able to tell us something, in time," saidthe Wizard.

  "Don't let's wait," returned Dorothy. "I've heard of the Rigmaroles, andwondered what they were like; but now I know, and I'm ready to move on."

  "So am I," declared Uncle Henry; "we're wasting time here."

  "Why, we're all ready to go," added the Shaggy Man, putting his fingersto his ears to shut out the monotonous babble of those around the wagon.

  So the Wizard spoke to the Sawhorse, who trotted nimbly through thevillage and soon gained the open country on the other side of it.Dorothy looked back, as they rode away, and noticed that the woman hadnot yet finished her speech but was talking as glibly as ever, althoughno one was near to hear her.

  "If those people wrote books," Omby Amby remarked with a smile, "itwould take a whole library to say the cow jumped over the moon."

  "Perhaps some of 'em do write books," asserted the little Wizard. "I'veread a few rigmaroles that might have come from this very town."

  "Some of the college lecturers and ministers are certainly related tothese people," observed the Shaggy Man; "and it seems to me the Land ofOz is a little ahead of the United States in some of its laws. Forhere, if one can't talk clearly, and straight to the point, they sendhim to Rigmarole Town; while Uncle Sam lets him roam around wild andfree, to torture innocent people."

  Dorothy was thoughtful. The Rigmaroles had made a strong impression uponher. She decided that whenever she spoke, after this, she would use onlyenough words to express what she wanted to say.